A/N: This is the product of a very bored week last summer. Written as a challenge by a friend, so don't take it too seriously. Enjoy!

Part 1

Bellatrix Black sat gloomily on the stony beach staring moodily out at the grey sea. For some reason England never seemed to catch on that summertime meant heat and sunshine and the weather was staying resolutely cold and wet. She wrapped her scarf tighter around her neck and huddled into her thick coat, looking around in search of her reason to be here. The informant was late – over half an hourlate.

She scowled and reached inside her coat, pulling out a copy of the Daily Prophet and a pen. Flicking idly to the middle page, she scanned the crossword and attempted some of the clues. 5 Down: Muggle aurors (9) What were they called again? Pleasemen? Yes, that fitted...

8Across: Current headmaster of Hogwarts, Albus ----- (10) These puzzles were getting insultingly easy nowadays...

Bella only looked up from her paper when a shadow fell across her. She glanced up, regarding the man standing there warily.

"Can I help you?" she ventured, casting an eye over his shabby clothes and torn overcoat. He was in serious need of a good shave and a comb for that matter. Longish brown hair blew about his face in the gentle breeze, half concealing a deep scar that ran across his left temple.

"Nice weather for the time of year, isn't it?" he asked, pleasantly.

"Not particularly," sniffed Bella, turning back to the crossword and hoping he would go away.

"No, you're right. It's bloody awful," admitted the man, smiling grimly. "Do you come here often?"

"Not often," she replied shortly, inspecting his decrepit shoes out of the cornCp>"Not particularly," sniffed Bella, turning back to the crossword and hoping he would go away.

"No, you're right. It's bloody awful," admitted the man, smiling grimly. "Do you come here often?"

"Not often," she replied shortly, inspecting his decrepit shoes out of the corner of her eye. It was obvious they had once been quite stylish but years of daily use and lack of polish had left them scuffed and frayed, with only a hint of their former distinction.

"No, I didn't think I'd seen you before," remarked the man, twisting the rope he held in his hand and gazing distantly out to sea.

Bella squinted up at him, trying to make out his expression, but the sun, although cold, had made an appearance and he was silhouetted against the bright light, his face cast into shadow.

"You live around here?" she asked, relenting at last since the man showed no inclination to take the hint and leave her alone.

"Elm Street," he replied. "Behind the Post Office."

"Behind the Post Office?"

"Yes," he affirmed, as though it was the most natural thing in the world to live around the back of state buildings. "With Bertha."

"Bertha?"

The man tugged on the rope and the creature on the end of it trotted forward, surveying Bella dolefully with large brown eyes.

"It's a cow," she said blankly.

"She's a heifer, to be precise," corrected the man, evidently proud of this fact, although Bella hadn't the faintest idea why.

"Right," said Bella slowly. The man was obviously insane, so it was probably best to simply go along with him and make a hasty escape as soon as the opportunity presented itself. As long as she made no sudden moves she'd be fine.

"I see you're engaged," the man commented, gesturing to the diamond studded ring she wore on her left hand. "For love or money?"

"I really don't think that's any of your business," said Bella, staring incredulously at him.

"Ah, money then," nodded the man sagely. "I was married once. She was a marine biologist. Not a very good one unfortunately – once mistook a shark for a fish. A very big fish," he added, seeing Bella's disbelieving expression.

"Sounds like she needed glasses," muttered Bella, pondering over 3 Down: Four footed beast, excels in divination (7).

"Oh she did have glasses, but they fell off when she leaned over the boat to get a closer look," explained the man sadly. "Tragic really."

"Losing her glasses was tragic?" asked Bella vaguely, now thoroughly bored with the stranger.

"Not as such – more the fact that she then decided to go swimming with the 'big fish' was tragic. I told her she should have worn contact lenses..." He smiled absently and glanced down at the paper in her lap. "It's policemen, by the way."

"What?"

"Muggle aurors. They're called policemen, not pleasemen."

Bella frowned and corrected the word grudgingly as the man continued, "And now it's too late to look for another wife; you lose your faith in love when you get to my age."

Bella glanced up at him; he couldn't have been more than sixty. "You're not that old," she said carelessly.

The man smiled, "You may not think so yet, but you are still young. How old are you now? Twenty five?"

"Twenty seven," said Bella nonchalantly.

"See? You've got years ahead of you yet," said the man jauntily. "No, I give you about thirty years till you suddenly wake up one morning and realise you've wasted half your life. That's when old age kicks in – when you realise you're not eighteen anymore."

Bella laid down her pen and looked up at the man curiously. "Why are you telling me all this?"

The man shrugged, "You looked as though you needed reminding."

"Reminding of what?" she demanded.

"That you're still young. It's never too late to start living, you know."

"Doesn't that contradict what you just said?" Bella countered, arching an eyebrow at him.

The man beamed, "So you were listening? But perhaps you do not believe me? Ah well, at least I tried. Come along Bertha, we'll be late for market. Goodbye Bella. Have a nice day."

"Yeah, you too," she murmured, tucking the paper inside her jacket and walking slowly away up the rocky beach towards the smooth tarmaced road above.

It was only when she was half way along the seafront that she realised the man had called her Bella. Funny – she'd never told him her name. She frowned, looking back across the grey beach but saw no sign of the stranger. Shaking her head, she glanced across the street at the row of seaside shops and cafés. A sign above one of them caught her eye: The Mariner and the Shark.