Hey guys so a quick AN: long time no see! If you ever kept up with my account than you know I love writing these Eric and Tris one shots, so here you go. Enjoy and leave a comment telling me if you loved or hated it. This is in Eric's point of view. Have a great day :)
Eric
Weeks. It has finally been two months, in fact, and it's killing me. No, she's killing me. No that can't be right either. It's them, they are killing me. Sitting here watching Tris and Four happy as can be dancing in this club is killing. It has officially been two months since Beatrice Prior stepped into my office for leadership training. A month since I kissed her, and she even kissed me back. A month since I slept with the girl I am totally in love with. But we cut it off after. It isn't right she said. My heart and my head argue a lot and even though my head knew she was right, my heart begged her to stay and never leave me.
I take another drink of my beer and realize I have run out as I call to the bartender for some shots. Maybe my head doesn't always win, because getting drunk and out of control when I can see Tris and Four dancing in this damned club is probably a wretched idea.
Hell, I still remember it. We had been sparring and it didn't take a genius to recognize the tension growing between us for the past few weeks. So I did what most men here do, and went for it. And she kissed me back, and I slept with her. I curse whatever is up there for making me so infatuated with a woman named Beatrice Prior. Stupid to think she would ever feel about me the way she feels about Four. Somehow, even in my position, he still had the upper hand. And he knew it too. I asked her to stop with him with the kindest and most sincere voice I could muster, but she loved him.
Correction, loves him. And I love her. But a one night stand between us means nothing but the confirmation of the most basic feeling on Earth, curiosity. Curious to know if the cruel, evil, scary sadistic leader she feared could actually do anything except stand there terrifying initiates and everyone else in the compound. Curious what it would be like to kiss someone you don't want. Simple and basic curiosity. I have been looking over her since initiation when she went to visit her brother, she just has absolutely no idea.
Here's to hope, the only thing that can truly breed eternal misery. I think to myself and down the shots lined up in front of me quickly pulling the lime between my teeth.
I'm four shots in and with the extra beer or two, I am undeniably and absoloutely shitface drunk. I was here the whole time and she couldn't even see it. Why can't she see me? I take another drink and see her laugh at something he whispers in her ear and she leans up a bit to kiss him. I smirk a little knowing that the other day she had kissed me too and she had enjoyed it. I wonder if he knows.
Pulling out a cigarette, I groan in the realization that should have come sooner, Tris Prior could never ever be mine. She would never smile at me the way she smiled at him. Never laugh the same as with Four. Never run to me at the sound of me calling her, none of it was more than a dream. A child's fantasy that runs through my mind on the regular. She just doesn't get it! I slam the glass on the counter and watch as it shatters. "Sorry man." I say and put an extra twenty on the table for the glass. The alcohol heightened the blood flow. I am actually hurting because of her. Physically hurting because of him, the man who claims to be everything she needs. If only she knew. A sigh escapes me and I begin a walk to my apartment taking the long way home.
To say I tripped was an understatement, I had actually fallen once but the feeling of the cool concrete against m y hands and the sting it provided against my knees was welcomed instead of discouraged. It was more relieving than painful, reminding me that even though she was killing me, I was still alive. I'm still holding on.
"Eric!" I groan. The first and last person I want to see right now. My favorite and most hated human being. How can someone make me feel this way? How can someone make me feel anything at all? Everyone says I have no feelings. And they are more right than they think. I continue walking pretending that I could not hear her and the smart part of myself hopes she will go away. It also knows she won't. But even with all that I know about being hopeful, I can't help myself from hoping she won't just give up so easily.
"Eric! God damn it I know you can hear me." She is quieter on the last part as I turn down an always empty corridor. The place is so large that some halls have been simply forgotten and I have learned every inch on this place. I know exactly where to turn to get us alone, yet still wind up at my apartment. As I reach the end of the hallway where it turns I stop and turn around.
"Make it good." I stand and try to look intimidating even in my drunken state. I know I tower over her and she knows it too as I cross my arms and give her a cold look. I make sure to stay grounded and not let my voice waver. "Yes?" I question and throw her an annoyed glance.
"I- I'm just."
"I don't have all day, Prior." I had called her that when we first started training all that time ago. I was cold to her back then. Calm and calculating in the beginning. Seeing if she could handle me and being a leader.
"I know you were there, in the club, you know. I'm sorry. " She sighs and puts her hand to her face rubbing slightly.
"I don't know what you're talking about and this doesn't seem to be important so, show up to training. I will be transferring you to Lauren's office soon." The encounter has sobered me up drastically. She had the ability to do that, just completely change my mood and I didn't know if that was good or bad yet. And yes, transferring her to Lauren's was a lie. But It sounded threatening in my head and honestly I don't think it would be a bad idea. Less chances to slowly kill me every time we shared a glance or every time she would laugh. Everytime we 'harmlessly' flirted it wouldn't kill me, because it wouldn't happen. None of it would. So, I simply turn on my heel and can not even take one step when her hand firmly grasps my bicep, making me turn towards her.
It hurts to be this way. People seem to think it's easy to be detached, it isn't. It fucking sucks.
"I'm sorry. Look, don't move me, okay?" She sighs again. "I like training with you." She shrugs and bites her lip nervously. I can practically see the gears turning in her head.
Giving her a curt nod I look down at her warm hand and she blushes pulling away. God, she has no idea what she's doing to me. "So that's all then?" I look at her slightly less cold this time and she nods. We simply look at each other for a while.
Defeated. I feel so defeated. That's all. What the hell did she run after me for then? She told me she regretted sleeping with me. Guess she regrets coming after me too.
"Fuck it." She says and takes a step forward placing her hand to my neck and in one swift movement her lips are connected to mine. I'm so shocked that it takes me a moment to even register what's going on but I'm already kissing her back just the same.
"Finally." She whispers as she pulls away. She has no idea.
"Why did you do that?" I start to worry that this is part of a game or a bet. She dropped me for Four. That's what I know. And I believe what I can see.
"I don't want him, I left that day cause I was scared. And you just, you just believed that I didn't want you. You made me feel different than Four has ever made me feel. I was happy. And that was more terrifying than all those fear landscapes you put me through. I was scared to be happy with you. But I can't let go. He just isn't right. It doesn't feel right to be with him."
"You have no idea how long I have been waiting to hear that." I just stared at her and I knew that never had so much talking been done than in those few minutes of silence.
A/N I really hope you enjoy this, I haven't had the chance to write and while this isn't my best work ever, it's definitely a kickstart to get me back into this. Comment with your thoughts, good or bad, and let me know what you think about this. I had to take a short break from writing so I am anxious to know how you feel about this one shot piece. Thanks and enjoy. :)