Beauty
by faythless
She was always so strong, self-assured and never showing any signs of uncertainty. Blunt and sometimes downright strange though she was, she would always have a smile for those she loved. She was always happy when there were others around her, never once sinking into despair, not even in the most dire of circumstances. She always had another plan, even if that plan was so insane that it could never help.
She's beautiful.
I tell her that every time I get the chance and she always just laughs, and shakes that pretty head. She doesn't think that someone who isn't the perfect ideal of a woman can be beautiful. But I still can't help but tell her so.
Even when we're alone together, not surrounded by all the others, when she admits that she can't always be as truly happy as she tried to seem, she knows who she herself is. She knows that the best she can do is try to keep the others' outlook uplifted, even at the cost of playing the fool. She knows that there is only so much she can do, but she always makes the best of that much.
She knows she's not the perfect, model-pretty and wonderfully talented girl. But the one thing she won't believe is that she's still beautiful, and not just to me. To everyone.
I can tell we all wonder at her sometimes, even Quistis, who she idolizes for being the perfect, commanding woman. Even Squall, who always seems so detached and uncaring. We all know that she knows herself, and we all admire that. We all think that she's amazing.
I'm the only one to tell her that, though; no one else has ever seen her away from the crowds, seen her faults and her flaws and still thought that she's wonderful. I know all of her weaknesses, all of her fears, and she's still such a strong spirit. I really do love her – she's so happy, energetic, and so entirely spontaneous that I never know what to expect. And of course, she's beautiful.
She'll always be beautiful. Even when she's hatching some insane plot. Even when she's laughing at us all, denying that she's absolutely nuts. Even when she's crying.
I always just think of how lucky I am, watching her now in her sleep. She smiles even while she's dreaming, the upward curve of her mouth mirroring the flip of her now-messy chestnut hair. She's wrapped herself up in my coat, leaning back against a wall of the hallway of Balamb Garden. I know I'll eventually end up carrying her back to her dormitory, but for now, I just want to look at her.
Sometimes, I think it's hard to tell why I fell in love with her. She can be too over-eager, too needy for her shown happiness. But…maybe…
Now she's opened her eyes, and yawns, moving once again, first to pull my coat more closely around her shoulders, then to attempt to smooth the mussed hair. Then she looks up to see me, seeming almost surprised at first.
"You're still awake, Irvy?"
I nod, smiling at her use of my orphanage nickname. She offers her own usual smile back before closing her eyes once again, and dropping almost instantly back into her realm of peaceful slumber. I don't find it odd – she's always like that, waking up and falling back asleep in seconds.
…maybe being beautiful isn't a matter of what you look like. Maybe beauty is a matter of knowing who you are, and knowing that you are only human. Maybe it's being human at all, and in mortality being able to be you and still know yourself. Maybe that's what beauty really is.
Truth; truth is beauty, Sefie. You're beautiful.