Disclaimer – I own nothing of RENT or Les Miserables. They belong to their respected owners.
Italics are song lyrics.
A/N: there's been so much going on in my life that I decided to write a story reflecting all that has been going on.
Summary: AU: Mimi's dying. Roger's grieving. Set to the song A Little Fall of Rain from the musical, Les Miserables. Told from Roger's Point of View.
Rating – T
Genre – Angst/None
"Roger…" Mimi's fading voice came from the hospital bed. I walked over to her and took her hand in mine. I knew she didn't have much time left and I wanted to be there as much as I could.
"I'm here, Meems. What's wrong?" I asked, my eyes welling up with tears.
"Nothing's wrong, I just enjoy you being here." She sat up and coughed. I rubbed a hand up and down her back, hoping that would calm her down.
"Thank-you, baby." Meems thanked me as I handed her some water. I smiled and kissed her hand, climbing into the bed so I was sitting right behind her.
"Meems, you have no idea how much I want to kiss you all over right now, but all these damn monitors are in the way." I half-teased. She stuck her tongue out at me before resting her head on my lap. I stroked her hair, absentmindedly. A song from a Broadway play I had seen a while ago came to my head – the girl was dying and she wanted the boy to stay with her as much as possible.
Don't you fret, M'sieur Marius
I don't feel any pain
A little fall of rain
Can hardly hurt me now
You're here, that's all I need to know
And you will keep me safe
And you will keep me close
And rain will make the flowers grow.
We had already lost Collins and Angel – I didn't need Mimi taken away from me. She was so full of life and spirit that I would miss dearly.
But you will live, 'Ponine - dear God above,
If I could heal your wounds with words of love.
"Roger, hold me." I heard Mimi whisper. I nodded and took her in my strong arms, not wanting to let her go.
"I'm right here, Meems. I'm not going anywhere." I told her, stroking her hair and kissed her cheek. I could feel her getting lighter in my arms.
Just hold me now, and let it be.
Shelter me, comfort me
You would live a hundred years
If I could show you how
I won't desert you now...
We just sat there in the silence, enjoying each other's company. Her breathing was getting a little slower which concerned me a lot.
"Meems? You okay?" I asked, adjusting her position in my arms.
"Yeah, Rog. I'm fine. Just keep holding me." She whispered. I could see fever spots appearing on her beautiful face. I would fight for her – keep her alive for as long as I possibly could.
The rain can't hurt me now
This rain will wash away what's past
And you will keep me safe
And you will keep me close
I'll sleep in your embrace at last.
The rain that brings you here
Is Heaven-blessed!
The skies begin to clear
And I'm at rest
A breath away from where you are
I've come home from so far
I could feel the life draining from her body as I hugged her close to me. I couldn't let her die now – just two more minutes, please. I just need her in my life for two more minutes – just until Mark and the others arrive.
So don't you fret, M'sieur Marius
I don't feel any pain
A little fall of rain
Can hardly hurt me now
That's all I need to know
And you will keep me safe
And you will keep me close
I fished the ring out of my pocket and placed it on Mimi's left ring finger – I had been hoping to ask her to marry me as soon as she came out of the hospital, but I knew that I would never get the chance.
Hush-a-bye, dear Eponine,
You won't feel any pain
A little fall of rain
Can hardly hurt you now
I'm here
I will stay with you
Till you are sleeping
Mimi's breaths were getting slower and labored – a sign that she was dying. Tears were streaming down my cheeks – I didn't care.
And rain...
And rain...
"I love you, Mimi." I whispered in her ear. I couldn't believe that she was dying. For six long years, she had battled the virus and was losing every step of the way. Rehab didn't help – she came home only six weeks from being there.
Will make the flowers...
The long 'beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep' from her heart monitor made me realize that she was gone and she wouldn't be coming back. I cried my eyes out, silently wishing that it had been me instead of her that had been taken.
At that moment, Mark, Maureen and Joanne had walked into the room. They must've seen the look on my face because the next thing I knew, Maureen had me in a rib-crushing hug.
"Aww, Roger. I'm so sorry about what happened to Mimi. You must be devastated." Maureen said. I patted her shoulder, wanting her to let go so that I could get some air. I felt Joanne pull Maureen off of me as she sat down next to me.
"Roger, honey, I'm so sorry about what happened. Are you okay?" Joanne asked, wrapping an arm around my shoulders and hugged me.
"I will eventually be okay, Joanne." I told her, feeling tears in my eyes. I couldn't bare to look at Mimi's still figure still on the bed.
"I'm really gonna miss her." I told my friends, not ready for Mimi to be taken to the morgue. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Mark walk over to Mimi's bed and look down at Mimi. He took one of her hands in his and gently squeezed it.
"We're gonna miss you, Meems." I heard Mark whisper. That brought tears to my eyes. I knew that we had to leave the room now, but I really didn't want to.
As we filed out of the room, I made sure I was the last one out. I looked over my shoulder at my sleeping girlfriend.
"I love you." I whispered, feeling tears roll down my cheeks, but I didn't care. I just wish it could've been me – not her.
Will make the flowers... grow...