Marian didn't flinched as she removed the last bandage. She replaced it with a clean one and submerged the blooded cloth in the hot water. Thoroughly, she repeated the same for her many wounds; courtesy of the guards. For each smile and bow she got as Lady Marian, she received twice as many kicks and punches as the Nightwatchman.
She was standing in the safest spot in the house. There she could reach her true self. Literally. In that small space she could touch the Nightwatchman's costume; the only identity that allowed her the freedom she so much desired. Sometimes she didn't want to step to the rest of the room. In Lady Marian's chamber she had to be proper, obedient and free of rebel thoughts and actions.
This secret was becoming larger part of her everyday routine. The danger was weighing on her.
Being the Nightwatchman. Being daughter to a father who had no idea of her disguised activities. And of course, the noble woman who had to pretend, along with her father, that her loyalties lie with the tyrants.
The whole world was weighing on her.
But something was changing now. Robin had returned.
Why had he?
Of course she considered the news that he was alive and healthy to be good news, but she preferred him being alive and healthy somewhere else.
His presence was upsetting the calm surface of her life, which was already at great risk. Even as an outcast of their society he could find the way to penetrate into her life, and change the factors in it. Without realising why, she found herself needing his approval, seeking his advice and worrying about him.
Until the recent past the path of her life was as solitary as she had carefully planned it. Lately she was crossing paths with him more than she wished. Maybe the only viable solution for her was to leave the shire, perhaps permanently.
If Robin was determined to be the hero the people in Nottingham deserved, the Nightwatchman could step down. As much as she hated to admit he was an exceptionally trained soldier, with many years of experience in the battlefield. Therefore he was more suitable for this situation which was nothing short of a war. Her own training, overseen by a man who had never fought in war, might soon seem inadequate. The truth was that despite her successes so far, she had to bow to restrictions that Robin was free from. In addition to that, Robin had a group of men helping him, while she was performing single-handed.
Not to mention the greatest danger of all. The discovery of the Nightwatchman's true identity would seal her father's death.
Far from Nottingham-shire, which was in the greatest need, she could be the one to make the difference where injustice and cruelty was enforced.
Why not?
As to how she would leave, she had already started making plans.
A woman living on her own was considered a scandalous notion. Respectable women left their paternal homes to go their husbands' or to a convent. Nunnery had never been a fond idea, so the pretense of choosing the life in the Service of the Lord would be enough. It might be a sin, but she had no other options. If she stayed, sooner rather than later, the press to accept a husband would become a real problem and in regard to Gisborne's escalating attentions the situation would reach the point of a threat both for her and her father.
Leaving it is.
With her being a nun, no one would be expecting any visits and the traces of her life would soon be forgotten.
Her father would do well on his own. Relieved from a burden of a daughter who had reached the age of marriage, but still a maiden and always a nuisance, he could live his last days in peace.
She put her nightie on and brushed her hair. Her short hair. Another unmistakable proof that this world held no place for her and her free spirit.
Even him. No matter how great he thought she was when she was rebelling against the Sheriff, deep down inside he was a man who would prefer her to sit at home, quite possibly with a piece of embroidery, and patiently wait for him to come to her to boast about his achievements, impress her with his heroic actions, dazzle her with his charms, and then leave her dream of him.
But this wasn't the life she'd choose, not even for Robin Hood.
As she moved to the shelf to quench the candles, she wondered if he had been spending as much time thinking of her as she did.
Unlikely.
She prayed to God to give her strength to build a better future.
She climbed on her bed. It was a chilly night. Her mind traveled to the forest. There was no safe way to know if Robin had found a proper shelter for the winter. A survivor like him would probably have. However, she knew that in this cold weather he wouldn't feel comfortable in a cave which was the most possible scenario.
With little hesitation she got out of the bed. Without the light of the candles, she had no problem finding her way around her room. She replaced her nightie with an old pair of woolen trousers and a warm shirt. She shoved her feet in her riding boots and put on her cloak. Slowly, she moved to where her dowry was (a storage room she tried to visit very rarely, because it served as a sore reminder of her duty.) She picked as many blankets as she could carry. Not making a sound, she descended the stairs, avoiding the step that used to creak and moved out of the house.
Her horse, a true friend when she needed a quick escape, was standing as if it was waiting for her. She saddled it and secured the blankets. She carefully led the horse to one of the spots that were more likely to be in one of Robin's routes. If not until the morning, surely by the end of the following day he'd pass by. She left the pile of the blankets in the cavity of the biggest tree.
As she was leaving, there was noise. She made a run for the dense bushes where she had left her horse and hid herself beside it. The clouds in the sky didn't allow much moonlight to come through and she would be unnoticed.
Robin and one of his men, whose name Marian didn't remember, were walking to her direction, ignorant of her being there. Robin was silently listening to the man's was complains about the cold wind. He didn't bother to ease his companion's worry for the worst days to come. Little could she see of his expression, if she could see anything at all. Like her, they didn't carry any torches. The only thing that was discernible was his walking. Steady and confident, as always.
In a few seconds Robin stumbled on her gift and called the man to approach as well. He patted him on the shoulder, saying something about the generous donation from the fairies of the forest and laughed. The man shared Robin's good mood and tried to guess from which village the gift was, while putting one blanket over his shoulders. His comment about how great it was that all of them could have one extra cover pleased Marian. She wasn't sure how many men were with Robin because the number varied from day to day.
Satisfied that her gesture would benefit them, she knew it was time to return to the safety of Knighton Hall. While she was waiting for them to leave and give her the opportunity to rise from her spot, something that she didn't expect caught her eye; Robin was standing still and he was holding one blanket up in the air. It seemed like he was trying to find something on the blanket. As he struggled she couldn't keep her eyes off him. What was it that he was looking for?
Suddenly the sky bent to his will. Clouds and leaves let the light of the moon fall on him. He looked like an angel. A very annoyingly smug angel. It had to be something different than the thought of getting warm.
Then she remembered. The blankets. ALL blankets had a big M embroidered on the top right corner and Robin was very well aware what the M stood for. Many a times had he settled himself under one of those blankets during the short trips that he, Much and Marian had taken to the forest during their childhood.
She had no intention of letting him know that she cared so much about him, as to go in the forest and leave bed-covers that she might need in her household, but it was too late.
Seconds after the revelation Robin took off with his companion. There was no sufficient light to see his face anymore, but she was certain that he was still smiling.
On her way back she felt her heart warm despite the cold wind that was brushing her face. She sensed the familiarity of her surroundings; her home that she loved so deeply. The thought of leaving was less appealing now. Still a solution that bested any other, but for the time she would postpone her plans.
Besides, there had to be someone to make sure that the outlaws wouldn't freeze to death.
She would wait until the next full moon or the one after that...