Hi, all.
I'm taking a short hiatus from Shadowed Horizon for the time being, but don't worry, it won't be for very long.
So to avoid feeling completely guilty for neglecting those of you who have been so very supportive, I have decided – very bravely, I think – to post my version of Midnight Sun.
I started writing this in 2010, but have never been quiet brave enough to do anything with it. The positive reviews from those of you that have taken the time and bothered to comment on Shadowed Horizon, have prompted me to put it out for public review…I am very nervous about this, as writing from Edward Cullen's perspective, versus Renesmee Cullen's perspective, is a very different undertaking and I may have completely screwed it up. This character is so angst riddled, my stomach is in knots just thinking about it.
I have picked up, naturally, from where Stephanie left off and created chapter thirteen as my beginning. I really hope that I've remembered to include everything in and that I've got all my facts right.
Have a read; let me know what you think…the good, the bad and the ugly…any comment that you may have, no matter how small. Every review is important to me.
Thanks
T
MIDNIGHT SUN 2.0
~ CHAPTER THIRTEEN ~
CONFRONTATION
As the distance between us grew; the throbbing ache in my hand intensified, as if it were trying to draw me back to her – an irresistible force I fought against as zealously as I did the lust for her blood.
The risk was still too great…I couldn't allow myself the intimacy I so feverishly desired, despite the uncomplicated pleasure that one simple touch had created – despite the ease in which that touch had been received…
I steered my thoughts away from that slippery slope – the temptation was overwhelming already without the excuses I was trying to justify to myself – again!
Bella was safe in her home – her father would arrive momentarily and she would be safer for it.
If only I could say the same of myself.
My perspective – so dangerously warped and slanted when close to Bella – began to clear as I drove home.
I could now take a figurative step back and look at my reckless decision today in the cafeteria from a more impartial point of view.
From the perspective in which my family viewed my choice and expected me to behave.
At the time, I hadn't given Emmett's warning much credence; euphoria had still run through my parched veins like irrigated joy.
But I was away from Bella for the moment and I had to review his words now; the knowledge of that sent my mood into a nosedive.
Way to keep your mouth shut, kid. Rosalie wants to rip out your tongue.
How would he react if he knew Rosalie's true motivations? If he suspected that her objections to my honesty and revelations with Bella was not simply over the protection of our family and the anonymity we so fervently guarded, but over her own shallow designs?
I would never intentionally inflict emotional harm on my brother, nor – even though her blatant hubris and spite incensed me to the point of madness – would I use such a shamefully petty emotion against Rosalie…unless she forced me hand.
I was under no misapprehension that she planned to begin with her verbal tongue lashing as soon as I set foot through that door.
There would be repercussions for my loose tongue today…her wrath – so easily stirred – was difficult to pacify once incited.
And as easily as I acknowledged that I was entirely deserved of their reproach – I really ought to have discussed my choice of full disclosure with them – I knew Bella…and they didn't.
She would not betray us – she would not betray me.
I wondered if having one's tongue ripped out – if one was a vampire – would hurt very much?
Shaking the stupid thought from my head, I shelved Rosalie's anticipated ire for the moment and evaluated how the rest of my family would respond to my…confessional.
Alice? She wouldn't be a concern – although, I had to consider her reaction from another angle. The more I divulged to Bella, the more eager Alice would be to meet her.
That was dilemma in its own right.
Emmett? Despite Rosalie's fury, he would be gladder – for my sake – that Bella knew about us. Nothing fazed him, not even the certain knowledge that a human knew he was a vampire – unequivocally.
Carlisle and Esme? They would be dually absorbed: both pleased and guarded. My mother's despairing and my father's regret had weighed heavily on their shoulders for many decades. Perhaps now, with this revelation, they would be more at ease…though the situation was by no means clear cut.
Jasper? He would prove to be a more contentious sell. He was no happier with me than Rosalie was.
Although, unlike with my saving of Bella weeks before, Emmett had not mentioned Jasper when warning me of what awaited me.
Certainly this was a more damning occurrence then my impromptu rescue?
They had all heard it for themselves, and yet, Rosalie's anger had been the more intense…Jasper's had certainly drawn my attention, but he seemed almost – accepting?
It was strange – perhaps Alice had convinced him.
The thought had me grinding my teeth again – I didn't want to think about her visions right now.
Turning into our driveway, I pushed aside my weak validations and tried – once again – to see it from their outlook.
It wasn't that I didn't understand their consternation, I did, and under any other circumstances – circumstances that did not include being hopelessly in love with a human – I would have agreed unequivocally with them and if necessary, taken the steps needed to neutralize the threat.
But this wasn't a threat to our family's well-being and unremitting ambiguity; this was Bella…wonderful, sweet, loyal, trusting…superlative Bella.
I would naturally play it all down, as I had before.
I would laugh and scoff at their fears, agreeing that whilst Bella was a teenage girl, she was a newcomer, a stranger to the closely-knit community of Forks. I would convince them, that she had no possible goal to achieve in spreading a parable about vampires living amongst humans.
It would be simple to convince them that Bella posed no threat to our habitation within the town. There was no need for unwarranted panic or unjustified corrective measures.
I would lie through my teeth if necessary…there wouldn't be anything I wouldn't say to convince them.
I knew I was fooling myself if I thought that my flimsy excuse would appease Rosalie's need for reprisal.
None of us would condone her attempt to silence Bella Swan in the way she desired, so her naturally vindictive streak would have to choose another avenue to satisfy her hankering for retribution.
I thought fleetingly of my prized Vanquish. Would I come across it as if drove up to the house; a smoldering, mangled piece of wreckage in the driveway?
Knowing Rosalie, she would not leave it in an obvious place, no, she would be aiming for maximum affect.
It would probably be strewn like macabre confetti all over my room; just twisted, tiny bits of metal, leather and glass.
With as much as I knew that this was not a danger, I would do; not only what was expected of me, but also, the right thing and apologize for my transgression.
I frowned at the word. I didn't really feel that I had done anything wrong…not really, but I would still try to make amends to the best of my ability, without compromising what I had already achieved.
I did feel guilty for leaving the rest of them alone with Rosalie…perhaps if I apologized first, the backlash wouldn't be as severe or protracted?
Right, Edward…
The moon had more chance of falling out of orbit than that had of happening.
I was in no rush as I maneuvered up the perilous pathway leading to our house with easy rotations of my wrist on the wheel; my mind wandered back to Bella – an automatic impulse, it now seemed – everything was attuned to her…my center of gravity had realigned, my polarity shifted…she was my true north now.
I felt almost giddy with joy as I allowed the memories of today's interactions to filter through and surround my conscious, sweeping away the unpleasant reality of what awaited me in my home.
Just thinking about her small reactions – reactions that really shouldn't have concerned her in my company – made me smile until it felt as if my unyielding face would splinter beneath the delight.
I even allowed – a rare occurrence – to think back to the satisfaction I had garnered from watching Mike Newton flail about like a fish out of water.
Firstly, with the racquet smacking him – oh, how I had wished it were the open palm of my hand – on the head, then at Bella's acidic retort for him to mind his own damn business.
Her good-natured patience with him was wearing thin…the joyful grin plastered over my features shifted to pure glee at this knowledge.
I had almost wanted him to continue pushing her…Bella's temper was slow to the boil, but once it was bubbling, quick to spill over.
Perhaps next time, she would deliberately hit him with her weapon of choice…
I was replaying the flushed features of her enraged face in my mind with more satisfaction that was acceptable when the ear-splitting screech ricocheted through the quiet of the dark forest.
There was no need for my mind to search through the house to find the source of the infuriated shriek; its lilting resonances were indicative of only one person: Alice!
It would seem as though Rosalie wasn't going to wait for me to arrive before she began venting her spleen.
Gunning the engine, I focused on the jumble of thoughts permeating from my home: shock, anger, dismay…fear, uncertainty, disbelief; each spoke more clearly than any words uttered.
I had underestimated the cornucopia of confusion and angst from my family over this…I ignored the others for the moment and made Alice's eyes, my own.
She sat dead still, her tiny body clenched rigidly on the long sofa in the main lounge.
With all the anger her mind conjured, her primary concern was still me, how this would affect me… how this would affect us.
The selfless anxieties humbled me as I raced towards the top of the driveway.
"Rosalie, stop it! I recognize that you're angry with Edward, and yes, you're right, he should have discussed this with us before he told Bella, but he didn't plan on this happening. There was nothing deliberate or calculating about it. You know he wanted to keep Bella in the dark and at arm's length for as long as possible. Edward didn't intentionally expose us. He would never do that. Why are you acting this way?"
The knowledge I harbored of her gall gave me greater insight as to why and where her rage stemmed from…Alice was truly bewildered beneath her own anger as to why she was behaving so truculently.
Rosalie's porcelain face was poisonously spoiled by her harsh sneer as she paced with agitated, staccato stomps across the lounge where the rest of my edgy family had gathered.
"You know full well why I'm reacting this way, Alice. For once, stop defending him. He knows how harsh the penalty is for contravening the rules. He knows that we have to be more careful, as we stand to lose so much more than any other of our kind. All of this Edward knows, and yet he still continues to happily reveal our secrets to a human who already knows too MUCH." Her menacing hiss was laden with disgust and fury, her voice rising in pitch and volume with every word.
Alice's insistence and belief was evident as she spoke through her teeth.
"You know what I've seen, Rosalie."
Rosalie's sneer turned into a snarl. "Oh, please!"
The original intent of Rosalie's words was not only to renounce but to injure…and her attack on me was about to include Alice.
My teeth gnashed at the sluggish pace of the Volvo as I pushed the roaring engine to the max.
I knew Rosalie could hear the whine of the motor as I tore up the driveway, but this did not stop her, if anything, it only seemed to spur her on.
Her voice was softer, but no less malicious.
"How are we to trust your judgment, Alice, when by your own admission, you have told us all that she will be a beloved friend," the words were a disdainful jeer. "Your position is just as biased as Edward's"
The silence was deafening as the accusation rebounded around the tension filled room.
Since joining our family almost five decades before, no member of this coven – not even I, the skeptic amongst the believers – had ever called into question Alice's ability to see a future that did not yet exist.
Although we all – at one time or another – objected to her visions, none of us dared to doubt her.
Rosalie's allegorical slap in the face was inexcusable and entirely uncalled for; I would not allow her to hurt my sister in an attempt to wound me.
"Rosalie…" Placing his hand on her shoulder, Emmett – shocked at the strength and cruelty of Rosalie's attack – could no nothing more than squeeze it.
He was flummoxed by her attitude and more bewildered then I had ever heard him.
Knocking away his hand, I cringed as her rejection cut him deeply, though he showed none of it outwardly.
Alice – provoked to the point of physical violence – surged to her feet from beside an appalled and panicky Esme…she too, could hear my approach and was terrified on my reaction.
In a blurred motion that looked like one movement, Alice was standing toe-to toe with Rosalie; her anger a palpable force shrouding her, making the height difference between the two seem negligible.
"Your narrow-minded, one-dimensional thinking, Rosalie, is so predictably you, I could forecast your reply before you thought of it. You may have been with a member of this family longer, but you are no more dedicated to it and it's well-being than I am. Do not EVER challenge my devotion to this family and to those I love."
Never once raising her voice over that of a whisper; the unflinching, unblinking mask of contempt that Alice had conjured was as frightening a realty as Bella's death by my own hand.
Towering over Alice and trying to physically intimidate her, Rosalie's top lip curled away from her gleaming, rapier teeth.
"Our relationship is entirely irrelevant, Alice. Your visions are not set in stone. Any number of factors could influence and alter them in a second. Edward," she sneered my name with enough malice to force a snarl from my lips. "Had no right. He has no right to continue this insane game he's playing. This end's tonight, before the Volturi ever gain knowledge of this indiscretion."
Alice narrowed her eyes dangerous at Rose in sudden mistrust even as my stomach fell away to my knees.
"What end's tonight, Rosalie? Are you going to go against Carlisle's decision and kill Bella – an innocent – in cold blood? Are you going to be the one to destroy our brother? Is your own trifling jealousy or whatever you have against Bella, worth the cost of Edward's happiness? Because, I don't have to see the future, to know that if you do anything to hurt her or put her in harm's way, he will never forgive you."
Alice was wrong on that point. There would be no being to forgive...even as I thought it, I could feel air compress in my lungs and hiss furiously through my trachea as I snarled and hissed.
I would decimate her if she continued to harbour such vile, abhorrent thoughts towards Bella.
The distress and estrangement that I would cause the brother I loved was not even a factor worth considering. His pain was already collateral damage in my mind, a secondary concern.
They would be made to understand how crucial Bella was to my very being; to my very my existence.
Rosalie folded her arms over her chest, still glaring at Alice. "No. I will not go against Carlisle's decree and harm the human. But Edward will end things with her, immediately!"
I slammed the car to a screeching halt outside the front door and was inside the house before the car door I had swung behind me had closed.
The air was laced thickly with hostility and rancor; the stress of the confrontation froze my family in place.
Emmett still stood behind Rosalie, but his arms were at his side, fists clenched.
He eyed me warily; unsure as to whom he should be more guarded around.
I told you so…tread very carefully, little brother.
Esme sat on the very edge of the ivory couch, ringing her delicate hands together in anxiety, her expression disturbed as her eyes darted between my tense figure and Rosalie's furious one.
Edward, Carlisle isn't here yet, he had an emergency at the hospital. Whatever you do…please, please don't leave again!
I despised myself for causing her distress over this. I tried to smile at her, but failed. Nodding in her direction once, I watched Jasper, seated at my piano.
His very posture spoke of the stress he channeled. He vibrated with the malevolence in the room like a tuning fork.
I hope she's worth it, Edward, because this family is falling apart at the seams over your rash decision. What you did today was irresponsible and selfish, and I can feel your anger towards me over those words, but you know as well as I do, that I'm right.
My mouth tightened at his reproach, but I restrained the growl growing in my chest.
His brow lifted as the spike in my fury surged through him.
I'm not saying I don't understand where you're coming from…I waited for Alice almost as long as you have waited for Bella, but my actions did not place our family in harm's way.
"She's not a danger to this family, Jasper." I spat the words out between my teeth; my jaw encased in ice.
He shook his head, lowering it, but keeping his gaze on Alice – always watching her…she had clearly warned him off from keeping out of the fray.
Turning back, my fingers curled and flexed; imagining they could feel the exact shape and curve of the neck they wanted to wrap around and squeeze until they could pop the vertebrae out of place and sever the head from the spine...
Edward! I defied Jasper's reproach.
Rosalie folded her arms tightly over her chest and turned her back to Alice; Esme tried to tug her to the sofa, but she remained planted to the spot.
Her anger was a tangible force in the room, but it fell disappointingly short of eclipsing my own.
"Oh, look, the prodigal son is home. Too bad our father isn't here to sing his praises. He causes the problems and instead of being hauled over the coals like the rest of us would be, will instead undoubtedly receive a pat on the back for his courage and diligence in overcoming this daunting task."
My eyes narrowed to slits at her withering comments.
Here was another prime example of a resentment that I had thought Rosalie was long past.
Yes, Carlisle and I had a rapport that not even Esme fully understood at times and it overshadowed any other relationship that Carlisle had with his other 'progeny'. But as I was his first 'child', it was a given that we had the strongest connection.
We had been together for almost a year before he had turned Esme. In the ten months that he and I had wondered from town to town, his wisdom and patient supervision had prepared and educated me on the many new and often bewildering aspects of vampirism.
It had been a vital stepping-stone in my development and would eventually build the foundation for my ability in attempting to reconcile what I had become after my rebirth.
He had treated the others – Esme, Rosalie and Emmett – no differently. Taking each under his wing and guiding them through the maze of uncertainty in this new afterlife.
Even if the bond forged between Carlisle and I had been the most enduring, it did not influence the way the he felt about the rest of our family. He loved each and every member – that included Alice and Jasper – and would protect them with his dying utterance.
Rosalie knew all of this; she had seen Carlisle demonstrate his devotion to our family many a time before. How she could honestly believe that I was favored above any other member of the Cullen Clan, I could not grasp.
She also knew that despite our relationship, were I to put us in danger, he would never side with me, despite his love.
If I insisted on making erroneous mistakes that would endanger our family, he would go against me, no matter what the reason.
He would never be that self-sacrificing, and I could never be that self-seeking.
I admitted to that lie as soon as I had thought it. Hadn't I once considered fighting with them – my family – to protect Bella? If being with her put the rest of them in danger, would I be objective enough to do the right thing and end the relationship?
No. I wouldn't. I…couldn't…the thought was paralyzing and spine wrenching at the same time…there could be no greater pain.
The point was moot; regardless…she would not break my faith in her.
A vicious, insidious little voice stole through my mind, spreading doubt and misery.
What relationship? You're a vampire, fool. What could you possibly hope to offer her? Pain, fear, sadness? A soulless existence separated from her family and the world she belongs in? The world you don't belong in…
Rosalie snarled sharply at me, shifting my attention and snapping me from my disconsolate reality.
How could I even consider exposing Bella to Rosalie's uncharitable nature?
She was too tender to lock horns with my rapier-tongued sister. Just the thought of her being wounded by Rosalie's caustic tongue caused the acidic bite of fury to boil up into my throat, scoring more ferociously than the thirst Bella's scent elicited.
"That was a very interesting conversation that you had with your little human today in the cafeteria, brother, a cafeteria full of human children. Pray tell, how much does she know about our family? And did you enjoy your meal with her? Was it good? Did it satisfy your need for normalcy, your desire for a humanity that you cannot possibly hope to regain? Or do you still have more secrets to spill to the love of your life?"
Hissing at me, she darted forward. "Tell me, Edward; is she more important to you than your family and our way of life? Is she more important than the life that we have spent decades tirelessly building?" Screeching at me, Emmett lunged forward to contain her as I bared my teeth at her attack in true malice, crouching low and curling my muscles to spring.
The reaction was both instinctive and anger driven as I growled and snarled at her, my retina coated with the fiery hatred I could not contain.
"EDWARD! NO!"Emmett's frightened roar stayed my hand.
With reluctance, I straightened up, a furious rumble resonating from my chest as he dragged Rosalie away from me, afraid that I would actually attack her.
His fear was not unjust.
My expression was terrifying, my anger too potent to shake loose the disfiguring scowl that masked my features.
Esme's hand was on her throat, her distress painful to witness.
Jasper had moved from the piano and stood in front of Alice...protecting her – from me.
Forcing my muscles to unlock and unravel, I breathed deeply and arrowed my lethal glare at Rosalie as she struggled in her husband's gentle, yet unbreakable hold.
Edward! Emmett's admonishing glare did little for my anger.
I spoke slowly, concisely and very, very softly…satin over razor wire; my previous concession of apologizing first fell by the wayside.
"I'm not expecting any of you to understand or condone what occurred today in that cafeteria, but I am expecting – no, I am demanding – that you respect my decisions. I would never, ever deliberately put any of you in danger. Despite what you are all thinking." My gaze flickered over the tense faces gathered.
"I never wanted Bella to find out the horrific truth about me, how could I? She's human, and I…am not." The truth once again lanced through me with a bite that was crippling and almost enough to break my resolve. Only the knowledge that she wanted me as I wanted her kept me going.
"But the circumstances that Bella found herself in last night could not be managed any other way, and I had to step in, the alternative…" I paused to control my breathing.
The ragged cadence was indicative of my angst and loathing as I thought of what so nearly had happened to her.
Facing Rosalie directly again, I tried to convey to her the plight in which Bella found herself in last night.
She, more so than anyone in this room, could surely relate to such a monstrous crime.
"I'm sure by now you all know what almost – so close – happened to Bella last night in Port Angeles."
Stiff nods and internal affirmations were the only acknowledgement of my words.
"Bella must have been aware on some level that there was something not right with me, that I was something….other. Our first encounter could not have left her with any other possible conclusion. If I had hoped that she would have forgotten that in time, then my unplanned rescue in the parking lot, only confirmed it. As much as I lied and ridiculed her suspicions, she would not accept the seed of doubt that I tried so desperately to plant in her mind. She's too perceptive." Brilliant, exceptional, noteworthy, were the words I wanted to use, but now wasn't the time.
"Her perception, you see, is transparent and unfathomable. There is nothing that escapes her attention. Nothing I do or don't say that she does not questions thoroughly."
I would not tell the others of her informative escapade with the younger Black this weekend. They did not need further provocation, especially Rosalie.
She would see it as a golden window of opportunity to attack the defenseless sea-side community.
"The sheer incredulity that she could sit calmly beside me all evening, whilst guessing – correctly – what I was, even after witnessing my murderous rage with that…slime that would have hurt her ." Jasper winced as my fury with the men – no, not men, they could not be called men – that I still longed to slaughter, imploded in the room and sucked up all the oxygen in its wrath.
"To answer your question, Rosalie. She doesn't know everything, but it will only be a matter of time. I can't keep lying to her, I won't. And you, will do nothing to interfere in this…do you understand me, Rosalie?"
You reckless fool. You've decided our fate for us.
My anger waned slowly as I heard more fully her intentions.
The saddest part of this was that she truly believed she was warranted in her prejudice.
"How much does Bella know, Edward? Exactly? And are you certain that we can trust her to not expose us?" Esme's quiet voice was steeped in caution, her hands still wringing together from the tension in the air...her previous joy left by the way side as she stressed about the future.
"Yes," my voice was suddenly passionate, the fervency in which I wanted them to believe in her, louder than even my fury. "I entrusted her with my darkest secret, and I would entrust her with my life."
And your families. You had no right!
I ignored Rosalie's inner diatribe.
"She knows that I'm a vampire, that every member of this family…is a vampire."
And again, she hadn't reacted to that truth either. It was one thing acknowledging one vampire existed, but being told that there were seven in one small town should have been enough to terrify her.
Rosalie gripped her hair at her scalp, trying to rip out the flaxen locks from the roots and keening like a trapped animal as her eyes almost rolled back in her head at my words.
I sighed as Emmett picked her up and sat her on his lap on another couch, but continued on, overlooking his irritation with me.
"She, of course, asked all the usual questions," – or unusual questions, as I had never confirmed any of them to a human before. – "about all the inaccurate mythology associated with us. She knows that I hear the thoughts of others, and that she is the one exception. She, by the way thinks there's something wrong, because I can't get a read on her."
This took them all by surprise.
Alice had flopped backwards to sit next to Esme; the two exchanged a look, but I was distracted by Jasper's reaction to my words.
"We're vampires, and she thinks that she's abnormal?"
I slowly nodded my head; my amusement at Jasper's disbelief blunting the edge of my intensity.
What's wrong with the girl?
Nothing. She was utterly perfect, a masterpiece of nature – unsurpassable and one of a kind.
Edward?
"I don't know, Jasper, I really don't. She's the most bizarre human I have ever encountered. She runs merrily toward what she should be running swiftly away from." I chuckled disbelievingly, but with more relief in that certain fact than I let on.
He of course knew.
"You should have seen her sitting beside me, so serenely poised after I had just admitted to a fierce craving for her death and blood," I flinched, but continued. "Stalking her, wanting to murder her would-be assailants – in front of her, no less, forcing her into a dinner she clearly was hesitant over and not giving her a choice over whether I drove her to school and back today and yet…"
I trailed off as Alice smugly sang in my head. I told you not to underestimate Bella, didn't I? Alice's self-satisfied superiority would have usually annoyed me, but her righteous belief made me ecstatic in a way that I was beginning to covet, but the moment was ruined by Rosalie's refusal to drop the bone she was gnawing on.
"I can't believe I'm actually hearing this." Rosalie screeched from Emmett's lap. "Are you all as insane as Edward? She's a human!"
Emmett kissed her on her temple, stroking her face; he tried to reassure her again. "Shhhh, Rose. It's going to be fine. Don't stress, babe."
No amount of reassuring or distracting from him would help that cause.
I had been hoping that by highlighting a common link between the two – Rosalie's own ghastly death had been as a result of a brutal personal violation – and Bella's near miss, it would spark a whisper of sympathy from Rosalie.
I should have known better than to rely on whatever human sentiments and sympathies Rosalie may have retained after all these years.
There hadn't been so much as a batter of an eyelash, nor a flicker of an understanding thought in her vapid head.
Compassion was a redundant notion with Rosalie.
"You all already know that I love Bella – although, I'm sure none of you can understand why – and by some… crooked twist of fate, she seems to reciprocate those feelings – although, at not the same level. Alice is convinced, as am I, that she will not betray our secrets. Please know that this was not how I had planned on things unfolding. I do not want to cause conflict within our family, but I love her too much to give her up. I…I can't give her up, I won't."
Not yet, at any rate, but the time would come, when I would have to force myself to do so.
My voice broke slightly under the ardent emotion I conveyed. "I do not need your consent or your support, but I would prefer to have it."
Surely they would not begrudge me a small slice of Heaven after all these years of Hell?
Rosalie stiffened in Emmett's arms and snapped at him, "Let me go, Emmett. Now!"
"Rosalie…"
"No, Emmett." Wrenching herself from his arms, she leapt to her feet, but did not approach me.
She knew better, my hostility towards her had not abated, despite my quieter approach to them.
"I want nothing to do with this…creature," her jaw clenched as she spat at me. "And you have neither my support nor my consent. She will be a blight upon this family that you have unleashed on us, Edward." Pointing a ridged, accusatory finger at me, she lifted her chin with all the regal bearing of a queen.
I had to admire her moxy, even as I wanted to throttle her.
"This is not some pet project of yours. You can't experiment in this and expect the results to be favourable and under your control. That girl is a liability – a dangerous one – that you are willing to sacrifice your family and our way of life for. This asinine decision affects all of us, not just you. And I will be there, waiting, when it blows up in your face, but until then, I want nothing to do with this farce."
Tossing her golden head, she darted out the door and into the quiet night, all thoughts consumed by her indignation.
I had not expected her support, but her hostility was a worry.
Was she right?
My judgment was undeniably not as sound as it had been before Bella had crashed landed in my life with all the subtly of a hurtling meteor, burning through my atmosphere of cool, sensible indifference and scoring deeply within my being.
Was my treacherous quest for self-fulfillment and companionship – companionship that differed so greatly from that of my siblings and parents – compromising my own welfare and that of my family's?
Could I leave her now, knowing that fundamentally, it was the correct decision to make…for everyone involved?
I already knew the answer to that question…
Emmett heaved dramatically and moved to my side. "I'll go and try and calm her down, but don't expect any more twists of fate to occur."
I scowled at him sourly, noting that he moved a step further away.
It feels like I don't even know you anymore, Edward. I swear you were abducted by aliens.
He shifted completely away from me before my fists completed their ridged curl and eyed Jasper edgily.
He turned as he reached the door, frowning at me – I knew what he was going to ask.
"You weren't really going to attack her…were you?"
I said nothing; impassive and implacable.
My lips twisted slightly as he turned his back, shaking his head and muttering about body snatchers.
Jasper turned and looked down at Alice; a deep stone furrow forming between his eyes.
Her own eyes narrowed as she uncannily read his thoughts.
"Are you sure?"
"You doubt me?" her brow rose haughtily.
He smiled slightly. "Never."
"Then why ask?"
He shrugged.
I knew he was feeling unsure and anxious, but his unwavering trust in Alice overrode his concerns.
"Since the moment we met, Jasper Whitlock, have I ever led you astray? Have I ever suggested a path that was not beneficial?"
He smoothed a spiky strand of inky hair back into place, smiling down at her with more love than I could have ever thought possible for him to contain.
"No, my love. You have not."
"Then trust me when I say that Bella will not expose us…that one day," she turned to glare at me. "She will be an invaluable member of this family."
The vision again, the sickening truth to her words…I wanted to scream and thrash at the injustice.
"Edward? It doesn't matter what you decide…this was and always will be Bella's choice, not yours. You can only fight so far, brother…but acceptance is inevitable."
"No," I howled, anguished by her words.
She only nodded sympathetically.
I couldn't stand to stay in a room so full of such a ghastly acceptance.
Their pleading words to come back were a distant din as I raced into the night and through the park.
I hunted for the shortest of moments, not being able to force down more than that of a small doe's life force, before returning home and to my previous seat of reflection, all the time wondering if my lack of objectivity was the real problem.
The water tonight was liquid again, almost tranquil as it continued on its inevitable, meandering path to the sea.
Was my path as inevitable? Was Alice's unflinching reassurance to Jasper, meant to reassure me?
My last despairing thought as I left Bella had been about being able to stay with her for any length of time before my instincts got the better of me…now the despair was about what would happen in I allowed that.
I heard the hesitant thoughts before the sounds of his approach alerted me, almost sagging in relief at a change of topic.
Carlisle was home.
Esme would have informed him of our charged assembly by now and he would be anxious to interpret my demeanor.
As much as it irked me, Rosalie's objectionable comments about me being the favored son were not entirely inaccurate.
Perhaps it was just the bond of a father and son, a creator and created that had caused such a uniquely strong connection amongst two men who did not share any biological link other than the venom that had transformed me, or maybe it was the molding of his mannerisms that defined me in his eyes.
Whatever the reason, he loved me and would forgive me anything – even murder.
I deeply regretted the years of dissolute, murderous behavior that I had indulged in whilst at my most temperamental.
Angry at Carlisle's enforced path, I had rebelled. I was an apex predator, why shouldn't I simply follow through with my nature? Why resist what I was? There was no force on earth that could leash my unrestrained indulgence.
The Volturi had not even been a factor worthy of consideration.
Leaving my parents had been a very, very foolish decision.
Carlisle had joked – eventually – that he should have expected it.
A typical bout of teenage rebellion…
Problem was the rebellion hadn't been under-age binge drinking or hot-wiring cars.
It had been careless murders, the eradication of the dregs of society. The long years of wondering the earth alone, picking off the strays and stragglers who would prey on other innocent humans had taken its toll.
There was no possible or justifiable way I could defend those deeds – not through any amount of sacrifice and atonement.
When I had eventually slunk home to my parents; head hanging in disgusted disgrace, they had accepted me back unequivocally with open arms.
They had overlooked and forgiven any of my indiscretions, just happy that I had returned to them.
I had vowed on that day, to never again question or stray from Carlisle and his vision, recommitting fully in our – be it however futile – attempt at redemption.
But would he view my impulsive decision to reveal all to Bella, as a step too far? Overstepping the boundaries had never been an issue with me before.
He knew how I felt about her, had been ecstatic to discover that my heart had found its beat after all these lonely decades, but that did not mean he would condone my actions.
His thoughts were consumed with worry and anxiety – mainly for me, as he cautiously advanced.
There was no thought of threat or danger for our family in his mind.
I continually despaired of ever being worthy of Bella, but in reality, how could I ever be worthy of anyone that loved me?
Edward?
I didn't turn, but reassured him nonetheless. "I'm fine, Carlisle." Another lie.
A deep sigh of relief. It was almost amusing, or would have been, had the residual anger from my earlier confrontation not abated.
My family was often wary of my temper…for good reason.
The display in the lounge earlier had only revealed a hint of my inner maelstrom.
Are you sure, son?
His alarmed, caring query gripped my throat with barbed fingers of guilt, tightening with every breath I took.
"I'm fine, Carlisle. And it should be I apologizing and asking if you are all right. I'm the one that has once again put this family in jeopardy with my inconsiderate behaviour."
I didn't really believe that, but appearing contrite seemed like the best option. Bella would not jeopardize our anonymity. I was never more certain of a fact.
Joining me on an adjacent boulder, his wise golden eyes assessed by stance as he gracefully sat…the strong chemical odor of industrial-strength hospital sterilizer clung to his clothing.
He brushed aside my apology.
"Nonsense, Edward. You trust her and I trust your judgment. Esme filled me in on what happened earlier. I can't really say that I'm surprised, though. You seem incapable of denying Bella anything." Chuckling to himself, he laughed louder as he glanced at my twisted features, pleased with an assessment that hit the nail on the head.
"She took everything remarkably well, which I have strong reservations about. It was like she secretly knew that the world of ghoulish nightmares filled with monsters existed, and was merely waiting for me to confirm it."
I was still waiting for the shocking reality to hit her. Surely then the horror of it would send her running for the nearest police station…I would have loved to see her expression on that beach on Saturday.
I could imagine the surprise and shock as the oblivious youngest member of the Black family, unwittingly revealed my family's true nature.
Truly, she was as peculiar as I was – maybe we were more perfect for each other than I could have ever hoped for?
I disagree.
Tilting my head, I arched an eyebrow. "About what, in particular?"
"I think she took everything so easily into her stride because her feelings for you overpower any other fear or preservation instinct that she has. She knows that you won't hurt her or place her in harm's way."
Never intentionally, Bella did that all on her own. I thought, angry again at her lack of apprehension.
"I've only filled her in on the bare essentials on what to expect about our nature…our abilities, the sun etc. How she will react when I finally do reveal more about myself is anyone's guess. She never reacts the way she should, the way a human – a normal human – would react."
Carlisle's comments didn't seem that out of character for Bella. She must by now realise how much I loved her, how desperate I was to be at her side every second of the day, how hopelessly enthralled I was…
"Whether you're right and she does trust me, or it is just a flaw in her own inherent defense mechanism, this can't possibly end well, Carlisle."
Again, I disagree.
This time I desperately wanted to believe the firm conviction in his voice.
"What other possible outcome could there be?" I whispered miserably, then instantly regretted asking, knowing with certainty what that outcome was.
Although, he was thinking along a different line…if he suggested that he turn her for me, I truly didn't know how I would react…
What truly frightened me was that I would not be repulsed outright by his solution to my dilemma; but that I would give in…afraid that my selfish, frantic yearning for Bella would blind me to what was right…for her – always for her.
"I thought I knew all the facets of your personality, Edward. After all these decades together, I was certain that I had observed all your differing emotions and I knew them well, but on the day that you arrived at the hospital, the tortured soul that was my son was unrecognizable. Your desperation and angst frightened me in a way that I had never experienced before."
He smiled slightly.
"I can never truly understand how much Bella's scent affects you, Edward. I have never; in all my centuries, been confronted with such a daunting task, but looking at your face now, as you talk about Bella…you are not the same man that you were then. Your control is outstandingly admirable, son. If I can see this on your face – a face that is usually inscrutable, then so can the girl you love."
I knew all too well that I was no longer that man…my love for Bella had altered my planes of existence…eternally.
Carlisle leant forward, his pale fingertips interlocking. All thoughts swirling around trying to convince me that everything would work out for the best.
The best for whom, I wanted to ask.
His answer would be the same as Emmett's. Me, of course.
He, too, would be wrong.
What was the best for Bella, was the only factor that should be considered.
She was my priority…
Closing my eyes against the agony of what I must do, not what I wanted to do, but what must be done, I rose unsteadily, ignoring Carlisle's raised hand.
"Where are you going?"
I just shook my head. "I don't…know."
He reached out and pushed my gently back into my seat. No. The very last thing you need right now is time alone to wallow.
I snorted at the wallowing part. It seemed that was all I did lately.
I specialised in spectacular moping.
"Stay. Tell me about her, I only met her that once, and that was fleeting and filled with anxiety over what she had seen. What is she really like? Have you attempted any kind of…intimacy with her?"
He grinned at that.
I grimaced. I wanted to kill her ninety percent of the time. How could intimacy possibly be achievable?
I had only just gotten round to a fleeting touch…yet another blaringly obvious marker of our unsuitability. Physical touch.
I so badly wanted to touch her, though. Just a simple touch, but more then what had passed between us outside of the gym today.
The skin of her cheek was the softest suede, the smoothest satin my fingers had ever caressed.
I was almost salivating at what her lips would feel like. Their plush silk molding around my stone hewn lips, warming them with their lushly heated vitality.
My hand continued to tingle with pulsing sensation every time I thought about touching Bella.
Maybe Carlisle was right. Perhaps talking about her would give him some insight that I had yet to achieve.
My voice a reverent whisper – I couldn't achieve anything louder than hushed tones – I watched as Carlisle sat straighter on his seat and gave me his full attention.
"She's remarkable, Carlisle. Like no one I have ever imagined could exist. Her beauty is unmatched, her soul untainted. She's smart and considerate; her heart is bigger than her entire body. She's so altruistic that she puts everyone else's needs above her own. She understands and perceives things that her peers would have difficulty comprehending. She's…" I struggled to continue, defeated by my own sentiment.
Carlisle nodded knowingly, his smile lighting his face like a rare summer day.
"You love her, and that is exactly the reason why you can make this work, Edward. Your love for her is stronger than any other iniquitous proclivity that you still wrongly believe you possess."
How could I think anything else – I knew what I was…I knew what I had been on the day I met her.
Clearing my throat against the unfamiliar tightening – not the tightening of thirst – the restriction caused by the emotions that flourished when thinking or talking about Bella.
"Carlisle –"
"No, Edward. Listen to me. I have never questioned your motives or your choices in this life. I have been content to simply sit back and watch you become the man you were. I have always been proud of you, but the man that Bella has awakened in you, makes my fatherly pride almost unbearable. I know that you can make this work. When Esme told you that you are the best and brightest of us all, it wasn't simple flattery."
It was hard to block the firm conviction in his voice and thoughts. I so badly wanted to relent and simply give in to his confidence, but I knew that if I did, if I allowed myself that little bit of hope, that when things came crashing down – as they inevitably would – I would be unable to recover.
"Now, I know that you are anxious over this situation already, and I honestly don't mean to add to your concerns, but there is another very real danger inherent in this situation and we need to discuss it."
He was wary as he thought it. The Volturi.
I looked up at him in disbelief.
"Carlisle, I have difficulty not killing her." Pointing my index finger, I stabbed myself in the chest. "I can't worry about the Volturi…and why would you even bring them up? They have no possible way of learning that Bella knows anything about the vampire world."
He held his palms up as he heard the angry disbelief in my voice.
"I brought it up, Edward, because the Volturi are never to be underestimated or counted out. You know the most absolute of the rules in our world, is that no human is allowed to live once they have gained knowledge or irrefutable proof of our existence. Bella has both, Edward. We need to be very careful with her."
My gaze unfocused, I felt physically ill at the thought of the Volturi finding out about Bella. No amount of running, hiding or evading would be able to protect her once they had her in their crosshairs.
Carlisle frowned at me, concerned by my expression.
"None of us would ever reveal this to the Volturi, but there are others, those who we would consider allies that may, you know that there are some that we consider family that have been burnt before, and would not hesitate to uphold the law, even if it means…a betrayal."
He meant Tanya and her family. Their own ghastly experience with the Volturi had left deep, festering wounds that no amount of time would ever heal.
I could not believe that they would become informants to the Volturi. Not if they knew how much I loved Bella.
But…Tanya. If she was to find out that it was Bella that had caused me to take flight, that she had guessed correctly before I had even realised it myself, then could she be that petty? Would she react like Rosalie?
Hell hath no fury like a women scorned. The proverb was very true.
And the petty ire of a female vampire was a thousand times more potent than that of a human.
Vampires were driven by demanding, passionate emotions. Love, hatred, lust, revenge, rage…could Tanya or a member of her family be the ones to bring the vengeance of the Volturi down upon us?
I stood abruptly, my fists balled at my sides, trying to unclench my jaw, to stop myself from biting my tongue in two.
Carlisle was up instantly. Calmly, Edward. They have no reason to do anything of the sort. They don't even know that Bella exists. Please. Calm down.
This was a disaster. Wasn't it enough that I had to worry about all that I had already overcome? No I had to add the Volturi to the pile and members of my own extended family?
They would act instantly should they become aware of Bella. Their justice uncompromising and lethal.
Carlisle had lived with them for years, prior to his travels to America, and our family's creation.
He had told us countless horrific tales of witnessing maverick vampires punished for breaking a dogmatic rule, rules that were implemented to maintain our obscurity and the prevention of creating vampires that were incapable of control.
The punishment was always the same: death, by the hand of the guard, or sometimes, depending on the severity of the offence, by the Volturi elders themselves.
They considered themselves judge, jury and executioner.
No one opposed them. The elders had amassed a guard capable of neutralizing any threat, or rebellious neophyte.
Resting his hand on my shoulder, he squeezed gently, trying to break me free from my horrified musings.
I'm sorry. I know you don't want to think about that now. I'm just asking that you be especially vigilant.
I nodded numbly.
I will always support you, as will the rest of our family on whatever you decide, Edward. We know that you will always have our consideration in your thoughts – and don't concern yourself with Rosalie; she will eventually choose the right path.
I didn't know how long I stood there; a pillar of pain, after Carlisle had left me.
When I did eventually shake it loose, I was almost writhing to see Bella...I didn't stop to look back as I tore through the forest.
To smell her fiery scent, a scent that meant she was real, to hear her even breathing, reassuring me that she was safe, to follow each beat of her heart as if it were my own…the unwelcome reminder of the Volturi was bone chilling – I wanted her warmth.
It was raining again. I would have to shake myself dry before I crept into Bella's room.
I could hardly leave wet footprints or a puddle in the middle of her room, now could I?
The action reminded me strongly of a dog shaking its coat dry after a dip as I whipped my torso about, spraying the water in a shower beneath her window.
It was a good thing that I didn't smell like a dog. I shuddered at the memory and the hideous smell it evoked.
I wondered if Bella had any allergic reactions to dogs or pets of any kind?
Charlie seemed like a dog man, yet there were no pets around.
There were so many things I still didn't know about Bella. Simple, essential bits of information that made up a person. Information that a friend would know.
Information that a …boyfriend would know…
I exhaled warily. I was hardly either of those. A boy or a boyfriend.
I wondered what Bella viewed me as?
Tomorrow would be the start of my quest for knowledge…the continuous frustration was more maddening then Bella's silence.
Scaling the house, I paused at the window, making certain that Bella was asleep before gently sliding the window aside and quietly creeping in.
The heated love that bloomed in the deepest, coldest core of my body at the sight of Bella was staggering…I wanted nothing more than to be able to rest beside her in her bed as she slept, only watching over her for as long as I was allowed.
She was sleeping, but restless. What was disturbing her usually calm dreams?
Was it the shocking information that she had learned about me today?
Was it my unrestrained snarl at lunch that was causing the distress?
Was it the deplorable knowledge regarding our dietary preferences?
Was she thinking about my touch?
Sighing silently, I moved to my rocking chair and leant back, settling in for the remainder of the late evening and early morning.
It was warmer, despite the rain. The thick cloud cover acting as an insulating blanket took advantage of the absence of the wintry Canadian flow.
The pre-dawn was almost pleasantly balmy.
Bella was obviously feeling the additional heat. She had kicked her winter covers off; they lay in a bundle at the foot of her bed.
The legs of her creased pajama pants had scrunched around her calves, revealing her shapely ankles and dainty feet.
I leant forward in my seat, keeping my fingers locked together to prevent them from making any unplanned forays up her legs.
Her toes were so tiny; I smiled at how adorable they were, then was instantly glad that Emmett wasn't anywhere near me to see my ridiculous grin.
Rolling over suddenly, she flung an arm over her head and into the tangled mass of dark hair, stretching her torso.
The tattered shirt she wore pulled up against her toned stomach, revealing a mesmerizing expanse of pale, unblemished flesh.
Her belly button was unadorned, the abdominal muscles pulled taught, were faintly defined.
My mouth dried up instantly; venom wells arid and parched – swallowing was no longer a possibility.
I imagined kneeling next to her bed, holding my breath and the hungers that were becoming more difficult to control, as I ran my cold fingers over the indentation that had provided her life force for the nine months she was in uteri.
I could envision the goose bumps that my touch would evoke…I could imagine counting each one as just the tips of my fingers glided over her skin…
I focused on regulating my breathing as I moved my eyes away from her stomach and the cravings it caused in the cavity of my own.
Such a baffling longing, it greatly unsettled me…and intrigued me.
Having never experienced anything like them before, I should have spoken about with Carlisle, but it was more than just a little embarrassing at my age.
Being a centuries old virgin, wasn't something that I could tote as my proudest accomplishment.
And it wasn't like I could do anything about that…certainly not with Bella…I dropped my head into my hands and shook it in agony, only raising it as she snuffled and shuffled around in her bed.
Bella hadn't begun to talk yet; perhaps I had missed it, so preoccupied with my discussion with my father.
It made me angry to think that I had missed it. What had she said? What had she revealed unconsciously that I had not heard?
I would not be absent again.
Bella continued to move around restlessly for the first hour I was there, rolling over and muttering continually, clearly disturbed by something.
And still no talking. I frowned; missing it more than was sanely acceptable.
Resting back again, I laced my hands together and folded them across my stomach, losing myself in the humble pleasure of watching her sleep.
If my family could see me now…
It wasn't really uncomplicated though, was it? Her scent was still such a struggle, such a perplexing mystery…
What was it about her blood that made it so hard to resist?
Why was I being punished by this this? Was this to be my penance? Was this to be my labor of love?
Bella rolled over onto her side again, muttering unintelligible nonsense, facing away from me, and to my horror; woke up.
Freezing instantly in panic, grateful that I had already stopped the motion of my lungs, my eyes roved frantically over her form.
Should I make a break for the window? She wouldn't see or hear me as I blurred out of her room, but I didn't want to leave her yet…I had only just got here, or at least, it always felt like that – there was never enough time in the world to be with her.
Her pull was strong enough to render my reasoning worthless and make my self-disgust inconsequential.
Waiting for what seemed like hours, I finally settled back in as Bella scrubbed the balled fist of her hand over face and tried to bury it in her pillow.
Great! Now I would have to worry about asphyxiation!
Focusing on her breathing, I listened to the even rhythm of her respiration, my ears twitching at even the slightest change of configuration.
There was no hindrance in the normal pattern, and I closed my eyes in relief when she turned her head slightly to the side, leaving her mouth and nose free of any impediment.
I suppose this was what a parent felt like with their newborn.
Unbearably anxious as their little one did something that they did not even consider, but that with which I would reason was dangerous.
I had newfound respect for parents the world over.
The manner in which I was behaving now was impulsive, selfish…dangerous. Should she have rolled over and caught me here – sitting nonchalantly in her rocking chair, gazing in perplexity and adoration at her – surely then, she would have screamed?
And then what would you have done, hmmm?
In my own defense, this was the first time she had awoken during my visits, but even to my own ears, it was a weak, inexcusable defence.
Bella mumbled again, but was otherwise silent. Still no talking.
Maybe she didn't have anything to discuss in her own head tonight?
Who knew? Certainly not I.
Why couldn't I just hear her?
Rubbing my chin, I watched Bella try to sleep, but she was clearly so agitated, that it was impossible.
Again, I analysed every sentence of our conversations from today.
Was it something that I had exposed that was causing her restive slumber?
I couldn't remember anything that had really been frightening. Nothing that would create nightmares, surely?
I was madder with myself for illuminating all my closely guarded secrets like the lovesick fool I was.
But for my own defence, when she was dreaming about unpleasant things, she usually voiced her grievances.
As the talking was still not forthcoming, it seemed unlikely and I relaxed slightly, assured that I had not caused her fretting.
Sighing heavily, Bella rolled again, this time to face me. She was still asleep, but not deeply under.
Again, I imagined what I would say to her if she opened her eyes. Blood would drain from her cheeks, her eyes would widen to resemble the full moon and her mouth would gape with the scream building up.
"Oh, hello, Bella. What are you dreaming of? You're not usually so restless when you sleep. I would know, of course, as I've been spying on you for the last few nights."
That would be a brilliant icebreaker.
So why was I half hopeful that she would wake up and see me?
What was wrong with me?
I sighed at myself as I got up. This was wrong; I needed to leave, now.
Before turning to my unavoidable escape, I gazed upon her, lingering on her beloved face.
Torn between leaving and staying, I took the four cautious steps necessary to bring me to her bedside and slowly crouched down to hover inches above her.
Anxious that she would wake, cursing at myself silently for being this reckless, I let my nose touch a strand of her tangled hair and inhaled deeply.
The scratching, dehydrated ache combined with the inferno that seared my throat was still very, very painful, but I realised – with delight and astonishment – that it no longer curled my muscles in eager anticipation for the hunt, it no longer drove me to an act that would destroy me…it no longer controlled me and drove the monster within me to demand satisfaction.
As long as I was always rigidly in control.
Carlisle had been right. My inexorable love for Bella was beginning to feel strong enough to conquer the desire for her life.
The monster was silenced…for now. I was under no misapprehension that it was forever banished, but I would be able to control it better when it reared its ugly head again.
Gently twisting the lock of silken hair around my finger; I continued to breathe regularly, crouching over her for a few seconds longer, taking pleasure in the feel of her glossy tress wrapped around my unbending finger as the warmth from the strands coiled like a spring around the digit.
It was only a few more hours until daybreak; I would leave now, but not completely.
Whisper beneath my breath, I kissed the hair coating around my finger.
"Good night, lovely Bella. Dream of me and my love, as I would dream of you…I love you."
Untangling my finger, I backed up to the window and zipped out before I could find another excuse to linger…and do something really stupid.
Leaping nimbly into the same great fir tree that had been my shadowy perch days earlier, I settled into a convenient 'v' and watched Bella from a distance that was nothing really, but still seemed too great.
The hulking dark and flawed windowpane did nothing to hinder my view of Bella in her bed.
I could clearly see that she was still edgy.
It worried me that she would not have the necessary hours of sleep if this kept up, but honestly, what could I do to sooth her? Sing her the lullaby I had created?
I snorted to myself. That would be an even better icebreaker.
Deeply concerned, I remained ridged in the tree until well after four o'clock.
Only then did she relax completely, obviously exhausted by her disruptive night. I felt calmer as I noted her deep slumber and relaxed into my seat a little more, beginning to compile my list of questions for her...it was only a few more hours until I could enjoy her company.
Remaining in my guarding position, I stayed there until just before dawn, before running back to my home to change, eager to avoid being spotted by the early risers in the neighborhood…perched like a vampire bat in wait.