Oh, come on. Don't look at me like that. This can't be new, can it? I'm
seventeen, for Merlin's sake, and so are you. You can't expect me to
believe that you thought this would - oh, but you did, didn't you. You
honestly thought that this was it. That this was forever. But, how could
it be?
Yes, it's true. I've known you as long as I've known anybody. But, that's no excuse. I've known Ron for that long, and I'm not in love with him. No, really. I'm not. Don't get that worried look on your face. But, I'm not in love with you either.
Oh, don't look at me like that. Please, it almost breaks my heart. If I loved you it would, without doubt. But don't you see - we're so young. Now isn't a time for love. My parents married for love, and you see where it got them, don't' you? Not that we could marry, but that isn't really the issue. And your parents. You can't tell me that they live happily ever after, and don't tell me that they were betrothed and love never entered into it. I saw the pictures you showed me when they were our age. They loved each other then.
But, the truth behind all of this is that they didn't really love each other, any of them. And before you slap me listen. You'll know it's true. This isn't a time for love. It's a time of hormones, of lust, and of friendship. And if you put those three things together - what idiot wouldn't mistake it for something more? But it's not. It can't be. I mean, I get turned on at the sight of Colin Creevy on a broomstick. Hell, Madame Hooch on a broomstick, and I don't even go for girls. And Snape . if that nose is any indication . you can't tell me that I'm capable of love.
It's not that I don't feel for you; I do. It's just that I can recognize the signs. If I'd let this grow with Hermione, with Ginny, I'd be stuck now in a boring straight relationship, thinking that it didn't matter, because I was in love. With you, of course, it's different, but it's not completely different.
It's not that all of our time together hasn't meant anything. Maybe, in a way, it's meant everything. It was you who taught me about myself. What felt good - what felt great. You taught me how to make someone else happy, and how to get someone to make me happy. And that sometimes just watching is better than anything else. We've come a long way from those first nights in the Astronomy Tower, when it was all frenzied grabs, scratching and moans. I think we might even be graceful. But I don't love you.
And, really, I don't think you love me either. It's possible, of course, that you've reached an emotional level that's completely beyond me at this point, but that would mean I'd have to give you too much credit, and I just can't do that. I mean, it's you, for Merlin's sake. Which is why you should wipe that kicked puppy look off of your face. This isn't goodbye, you idiot. I don't want to never see you again. School isn't over for another two months, anyway. But I thought I saw this coming, and I don't want you to be hurt when this does end.
Because, when we leave here we'll both move on, and this will have just been practice. And I don't want you hung up over me. And I don't want the awkward break, so that we never see each other again. I value you. Perhaps as a friend, and perhaps as more, but all I'm saying is that I can't possibly know now. I might grow to love you, when my . other head learns to take control. And you might still love me. But right now I can't, Malfoy. Draco. I can't love you.
Yes, it's true. I've known you as long as I've known anybody. But, that's no excuse. I've known Ron for that long, and I'm not in love with him. No, really. I'm not. Don't get that worried look on your face. But, I'm not in love with you either.
Oh, don't look at me like that. Please, it almost breaks my heart. If I loved you it would, without doubt. But don't you see - we're so young. Now isn't a time for love. My parents married for love, and you see where it got them, don't' you? Not that we could marry, but that isn't really the issue. And your parents. You can't tell me that they live happily ever after, and don't tell me that they were betrothed and love never entered into it. I saw the pictures you showed me when they were our age. They loved each other then.
But, the truth behind all of this is that they didn't really love each other, any of them. And before you slap me listen. You'll know it's true. This isn't a time for love. It's a time of hormones, of lust, and of friendship. And if you put those three things together - what idiot wouldn't mistake it for something more? But it's not. It can't be. I mean, I get turned on at the sight of Colin Creevy on a broomstick. Hell, Madame Hooch on a broomstick, and I don't even go for girls. And Snape . if that nose is any indication . you can't tell me that I'm capable of love.
It's not that I don't feel for you; I do. It's just that I can recognize the signs. If I'd let this grow with Hermione, with Ginny, I'd be stuck now in a boring straight relationship, thinking that it didn't matter, because I was in love. With you, of course, it's different, but it's not completely different.
It's not that all of our time together hasn't meant anything. Maybe, in a way, it's meant everything. It was you who taught me about myself. What felt good - what felt great. You taught me how to make someone else happy, and how to get someone to make me happy. And that sometimes just watching is better than anything else. We've come a long way from those first nights in the Astronomy Tower, when it was all frenzied grabs, scratching and moans. I think we might even be graceful. But I don't love you.
And, really, I don't think you love me either. It's possible, of course, that you've reached an emotional level that's completely beyond me at this point, but that would mean I'd have to give you too much credit, and I just can't do that. I mean, it's you, for Merlin's sake. Which is why you should wipe that kicked puppy look off of your face. This isn't goodbye, you idiot. I don't want to never see you again. School isn't over for another two months, anyway. But I thought I saw this coming, and I don't want you to be hurt when this does end.
Because, when we leave here we'll both move on, and this will have just been practice. And I don't want you hung up over me. And I don't want the awkward break, so that we never see each other again. I value you. Perhaps as a friend, and perhaps as more, but all I'm saying is that I can't possibly know now. I might grow to love you, when my . other head learns to take control. And you might still love me. But right now I can't, Malfoy. Draco. I can't love you.