The Captain and Mr Nobody

by Ambraya

Chakotay resigns as First Officer and from Starfleet

The Captain and Mr. Nobody

As they were returning to Voyager from the planet below, Kathryn was sitting quietly, watching as they got nearer and nearer to Voyager.

"It will be so good to get home, Chakotay." She turned to him with a slightly surprised look on her face, "Did I just say home?"

"Yes, you did. And, that's something, Kathryn. Always before when you said home, you meant Earth."

"Since we arrived on Innis, I have felt such a wonderful peace."

"Now that you mention it, so have I."

Soon, they were docking. As they left the shuttle, Kathryn saw Seven and Tom waiting for them. Chakotay hurried forward and took Seven in his arms and kissed her deeply. Kathryn stood there in shock. When did this happen? Seven, of all the women on board?

With Chakotay's arm around Seven, they left the shuttle bay together. Tom saw the look on Kathryn's face. He felt sorry for her. He had known about them for some time, but had assumed that Chakotay had told her. Apparently the idiot hadn't bothered!

"It's good to have you home, Captain. How were the people on Innis?'

As she looked at him, he could see the tears in her eyes. For a moment she didn't speak trying to get control of her emotions. "They were extremely friendly and curious. Not many travelers from other planets stop there. It's way off the trading routes, but we got a lot of needed supplies for very little. Tom, I'm tired. I think I'll go straight to my cabin. Do you mind seeing to the unloading of the rest of the supplies we brought back in the shuttle? And, I gather the other two shuttles got unloaded without any trouble."

"Yes, everything looked good. I'll see to it that your shuttle is unloaded and everything put away. You go relax. See you in the morning."

Kathryn went straight to her cabin, undressed and went right to bed. Laying in bed, she tried not to think of Chakotay and Seven. She couldn't blame him for wanting someone like Seven. And, she actually envied Seven for getting Chakotay's attention. She wondered how long it would last. They had very little in common. Then she reasoned that as long as they were on Voyager, they'd be alright. But, if they ever got back to earth, their life together might not work.

Later that evening Tom, Belanna, Harry and Mike Ayala were sitting in Sandrines. Their evening hadn't been as much fun as they had planned. Tom was quite, very quite. He was in a strange mood. Finally he spoke, "I could kick Chakotay's ass for what he did today!"

"What did he do to you now, Tom?" Mike asked.

"Not to me. It's what the idiot did to the Captain!"

"Tom! Chakotay would never do anything to the Captain!"

"Oh, Harry! You should have seen it. A couple of minutes after I got to the shuttle bay, Seven showed up. The Captain and Chakotay got out of the shuttle. Without a word to the Captain, he walked over and took Seven in his arms kissing her. I thought it would never end. Then without a backward glance, they left the shuttle bay with his arm around her pulling her close. Didn't even offer to help! Nothing! When I looked at the Captain, she was staring at them with tears in her eyes. I spoke to her, and she pretended nothing was wrong. He never even told her about Seven!"

"That bastard! I should kick his ass!" Belanna said loudly. "I can't understand why he would want a cold bitch like Seven when he could have a wonderful, warm person like the Captain!"

They talked together a little while longer. They decided there wasn't much they could do to help the Captain. They all knew without a doubt that she loved Chakotay!

The next three weeks, were very busy for the Voyagers. With plenty of supplies, work was being done to repair things that were long overdue. The time pasted swiftly.

One day as Kathryn was in her ready room, the buzzer rang. When the door opened, Chakotay entered.

"Have a seat, Chakotay? Would you like some tea?"

"No, thank you, Kathryn. I just came by to ask a favor of you."

"Sure anything for you. What is it?"

"Seven and I want to get married, and we want you to perform the ceremony."

Kathryn was in shock, but she tried to hide it by picking up her coffee cup and taking a big long drink.

"When and where? What exactly are your plans?"

"The when would be in a week, the where would be on the holodeck. We just need to decide on a time."

"I'll be there. When you decide on the time, let me know." Her heart was breaking. She had planned on him waiting for her until they got home. But, apparently, he never cared enough to wait.

After he left the ready room, she took her coffee and walked over to the upper deck. Sitting on the couch, she stared out the viewport at the passing stars. Voyager is a lot like me. The stars seem to be passing it by, and life is passing me by. And, here lately, I haven't been feeling well. I guess I'm getting too old for all this. She set her coffee cup down on the end table and cried.

The week passed swiftly. No one on board except the groom-to-be was excited about the marriage. Seven wasn't exactly jumping with joy. The whole crew was talking about it though. Their bets had always been on Chakotay and the Captain becoming a couple. None thought that Chakotay and Seven would be together.

The day of the wedding finally arrived. Kathryn wore her dress uniform. The program that was running on the holodeck was an outdoor scene. Chairs had been set up for all the crew members, and there was a big fountain in front. The vows would be preformed before the fountain. Chakotay had asked Mike Ayala to be his best man. Seven had roped Sam into being her bridesmaid and Naomi her flower girl.

As the traditional wedding march played, they walked sedately down the aisle. Naomi and Sam looked very nice in long pink dresses. Seven chose a white dress with a lot of ruffles. It wasn't a pretty dress, and certainly didn't look good on her. Way to many ruffles! Kathryn began the ceremony, "We are gathered here today to…." Slowly she fell to the floor. Everyone gasped. The EMH hurried over to her and knelt down. What had happened?

"She's fainted. I need to get her to sickbay. If Tuvok will come forward, he can conduct the ceremony. There is no need to postpone it."

The EMH immediate picked Kathryn up and asked the computer for a transport to sickbay. They disappeared.

Chakotay looked shaken. Part of him wanted to go see about her, but the other part knew he had to stay. He was already beginning to regret this. But, he had made a promise to Seven.

As the ceremony continued with Tuvok doing the honors, the EMH was busy scanning the Captain. "Hmmm! Interesting."

She began to wake up. "What…what happened?" She looked around. "I'm suppose to be conducting the wedding."

"Tuvok is doing the honors. That is if you want to call it that," the EMH said sarcastically. He helped her to set up. "There seems to be a little problem, Captain."

"What? What's wrong? Why are you looking at me like that?" she was beginning to get scared.

"Nothing's wrong exactly. It's just that you're pregnant, and it's the Commanders baby.'

"That's not possible. Run the scan again. I..we…uh..haven't had sex. I haven't had sex with anyone in years. I can't be pregnant, doctor!"

He ran the scan again and showed her the results.

"You're five weeks along, Captain."

"Five weeks? We were down on that planet, Innis five weeks ago. Strange, but both of us were talking on the way back. We were trying to remember all the different activities. But, things were kind of jumbled. However, I know one thing for sure: we didn't have sex!" She sat thinking for a minute. "I don't want you saying anything to anyone about whose baby this is. As far as we're concerned, the baby doesn't have a father. You must promise me not to say anything. Alright? If and when I decide to say anything, I will. Just let the crew guess."

"I won't say anything, but I still think the Commander has the right to know."

"Doctor, he's in the holodeck getting married. I won't stop him. You know how he is. Apparently he loves her, but if he knew I was carrying his child, he might not marry her. He'd probably think that he would need to do the right thing by me! It's better he doesn't know at least for now."

"I understand. But, I need you to take care of yourself. Here are some vitamins to take. I expect you to eat better, so I'm raising your ration allotment like I did Sam when she was pregnant with Naomi. And, here is a padd you should read about what you can expect in the coming months."

"Thank you. Now I think I'll go to my quarters and rest."

In her bedroom, she undressed and stood before her mirror. Her stomach was still firm and flat. Smiling to herself she knew that soon everyone would be able to tell. She decided that she wasn't going to announce it. Let everyone figure it out on their own. Laying down on her bed, she feel asleep having dreams of a little girl or boy, both with dark hair and dimples.

The newlyweds spent three days on the holodeck, but each night Seven left to go regenerate. After the three days, they came back on duty.

When Chakotay entered the bridge, he got some good natured ribbing from Harry and Tom, Kathryn wasn't on the bridge.

"If you're looking for the Captain, she's in her ready room." Tom volunteered.

"Thank you, Paris," He walked to the ready room doors and rang the buzzer. The door was immediately opened.

Kathryn was sitting on one of the couches by the view port, looking out at the passing stars. She turned as he entered and gave him a big smile, 'Good to have you back, Commander. Help yourself to something to drink."

He got some tea and went to sit beside her. "How have things been going"?

"As good as they can be." She hesitated a minute before she spoke again, 'I hope I didn't ruin your ceremony. I'm so sorry, but you know me. I hadn't eaten anything for quite awhile before the ceremony. As a matter of fact, I hadn't eaten since breakfast the day before.'

"There's nothing to apologize about. But, as I've told you many times, you need to eat three meals a day! And, to lay off the coffee!"

"Actually, I'm trying to do just that. This isn't coffee." She held her cup to him, "It's hot chocolate - mint hot chocolate at that!"

"I'm amazed!"

"I'm going to be busy in here most of the day. And, sometime this afternoon, I want to head down to the lower decks for a walk around."

"Do you want me to go with you"?

"No, that won't be necessary, Commander. I know my way," She couldn't help but wink at him.

"Then, I'll get back to the bridge, Captain." She nodded, and he stood and left the room.

Four Months Later

Chakotay entered the mess hall after a late shift. The lights had been turned down low. He got a salad of some kind and tea. Taking it over to a dark corner, he sat at a table. He needed some peace and quiet before going to his quarters - he meant, their quarters! His hope was that Seven would be regenerating in her alcove. They weren't getting along. In fact, they seldom had anything to say to each other. He knew he had made a mistake marrying her, but he didn't want to admit it to anyone. Who he wanted didn't seem to want or even need him these days. He wondered what had happened! Oh, hell, he knew what happened - Seven! How stupid he had been. He seldom saw Kathryn anymore. And, they had gone back to being Captain and Commander to each other. They never called each other Kathryn and Chakotay anymore. He missed that. He missed their friendship. And, if he had to admit it, he still loved her.

He heard the mess hall doors swish open. Entering was Jenny and Megan Delany along with Erica Hertz and Roma Edwards. They quickly got their food and took it to a table just on the other side of the thin partition that separated him from them. He knew they didn't realize he was there. He decided to stay and listen to their gossip. He'd leave once they were gone.

"She's beginning to show more and more, did you notice?"

"Maybe she's just getting fat!"

"In one spot, Roma? Give us a break, she's pregnant. You'd have to be blind not to see it. I figure she's around four or four and a half months along."

Chakotay was intrigued. He wondered who they could be talking about.

"I'd like to know who the father is. That should proved interesting."

"it's none of our business, Jenny. The Captain can do as she pleases. If she wants us to know, she'd announce it."

"I always thought she'd get together with Chakotay. They make such an adorable couple."

'Yeah, but he hitched up with the blonde bimbo! Can you believe that?" Megan chimed in. "Can you imagine her in bed?"

Chakotay sat there in shock. Kathryn? Kathryn's pregnant? Impossible! Who could have done that to her? Was she raped? I'll kill the S O B who did it! "

He stood up and stomped past the ladies as he left the mess hall.

"I think we're going to be in trouble, ladies!" Erica said as she watched him leave.

Chakotay kept walking, He had no idea where he was going. Finally he decided to go to sickbay. Maybe he could get some answers there.

Entering sickbay, he saw the EMH sitting at his desk in his office intent on looking at the computer screen. Chakotay stormed back to the office.

Opening the door, he said loudly, "I want to know about the Captain's baby. Who is the father?"

"I can't tell you that, Commander."

"Do you want me to decompile you, doc?"

"No, but I have my orders from the Captain. I'm not to talk about it with anyone. If you want to know, you should talk to her."

Chakotay just looked at the EMH with a strange look on his face. Finally, he just turned around and stalked out.

"Computer, where is the Captain?"

"The Captain is in the ready room."

Chakotay headed to the bridge. He was going to get answers from her one way or another.

As soon as the turbo lift doors began to open, Chakotay squeezed out mumbling. All eyes on the bridge turned toward him. He ignored them and walked up to the ready room doors. He pressed the buzzer, and the door opened. He went in.

Mike Ayala said a little too loudly, "The shits going to hit the fan! What ever the shit is this time!" He wondered if it had anything to do with the rumors that had been going around about the Captain being pregnant.

Kathryn looked up from the padd she was reading, "Commander, isn't it a little late for you to be out and about?"

"We need to talk, Captain." he spit out the word Captain as if it was dirty.

"And, it couldn't wait until morning?"

"Now…I want to know now," he stood before her deck with his arms spread and his hands flat on the desk. "There's a certain rumor going around. I'm sure you know of it. And, if it's true, then it happened about the time we were on Innis. Like to enlighten me, Captain?"

"Not really. It's none of your business, Commander." She rose from her seat. "You need to leave!"

"I need that answer, Captain! I don't want to play games with you. I'm miserable enough, so don't make me more so!"

Kathryn looked him straight in the eye and said, "Commander, have we ever had sex?"

"No, never. But, we don't really know what may have happened on Innis. Do we? And, if I'm the father, I have a right to know!"

"The baby's not yours. Now go before I have you thrown in the brig, Commander!"

He turned and stormed out of the ready room, hastily stomped over to the turbo lift and entered it with a loud growl.

Lt. Bower, who was at the helm, turned around and calmly said, "I don't think that went too well!" It broke the tension on the bridge.

At 09:00 the next morning, there was a staff meeting in the conference room. All the staff members had already heard about the incident in the ready room last night. So, they were surprised to see Chakotay walk in even though he was five minutes late.

The Captain looked up, "The meeting started at 09:00. I expect everyone to be on time. There is no excuse for lateness."

"Sorry, Captain," Chakotay said without emotion in his voice, 'I just came to tell all of you that I'm resigning from Starfleet. I refuse to work with liars." he looked directly at Kathryn as he said this. He pull off his rank bar and tossed it to her. "Find some other sucker that'll kiss your ass, Janeway."

He turned and quickly left the conference room. Inside the room, it was completely quiet. No one dared say anything for some minutes.

Finally, Kathryn stood, with tears in her eyes, "Dismissed. Get back to your stations!" She was angry, but more at herself than at him. She knew she had been unfair. She had been angry with him over Seven. And, now she had lost him completely.

She hit her comm badge, "Computer where is Commander Chakotay?" She hoped that he hadn't changed his codes before he came into the conference room.

"Commander Chakotay is in his quarters."

She hurried as fast as she could to his quarters. Ringing the bell, she received no answer, so she used her override.

Standing inside the doorway, she saw him at his recycler. She realized he was recycling pictures. He had many pictures that were taken during various shore leaves. He was intent on erasing the past few years on Voyager.

He turned to her with hate in his eyes, "What the hell do you want?" Immediately he turned back to what he was doing. He couldn't bring himself to look at her.

"Chakotay, I…I need you as my first officer. Please, rethink what you're doing. The ship needs you."

"You don't need me, Captain! You haven't needed me in years. I'm just your errand boy! Find yourself another one."

Kathryn was furious with him. "If that's what you want! But, if you're going to stay on this ship, Chakotay, you need to earn your keep. Get together with Tuvok and decide what you can do."

He didn't even respond to her nor did he look her way. She stood there staring at him for a few minutes, but finally she shook her head sadly and headed out of his quarters.

The day passed slowly. Finally Kathryn was able to return to her quarters. Getting ready for bed, she sat on it's edge. Patting her stomach, she said, 'I'm sorry little one! Your mommy makes a mess of everything. But, don't worry, the two of us will make it! Someday, we'll be back in the Alpha Quadrant. There you will have several cousins to play with. Mommy will make sure you have a happy safe life!" Finally she laid on the bed, but sleep did not come ease for her.

The next day, Chakotay moved all his belongings out of the quarters. He moved them down to deck 14. It was as far away as he could get from her without leaving the ship. After that, he met with Tuvok. Neither mentioned the Captain. They decided that he could catalog all of the artifacts that they had obtained from the planets they had visited. There were virtually thousands of them in Cargo Bay 4. Chakotay felt relieved. This is something that he could enjoy doing.

He went back to his new quarters to finish putting his things away. Tomorrow, he would begin his new job. Tuvok told him that his codes had been removed. He couldn't get on decks 1,2 or 3. That suited Chakotay fine. That way he wouldn't be running into Janeway often. He figured he could eat all his meals later in the mess hall. That way he wouldn't run into her there either.

Tuvok also told him that he would still get his replicator rations, and a special account would be set up for him to produce items to work with in the cargo bay. Chakotay was happy about that, especially now he'd have plenty of rations since Janeway wouldn't always be mooching off him for coffee.

While in his quarters, Seven came to see him. It was very strained.

"Chakotay!"

"Seven."

"Chakotay, I feel that since you are no longer the alpha male aboard this ship, I can't be with you any longer. I don't need to be with a nobody!"

"Thank you, Seven! But, I think I'm going to like being a nobody!" He grinned. "Tell you what you should do. Go to Janeway and tell her you want a divorce from Mr. Nobody. She's jump at the chance especially if she thinks it will hurt me!"

Seven nodded, turned and walked away. Chakotay looked at her retreating figure for a minute. Why the hell did I even get mixed up with her? Stupid me!

Seven made a beeline for the ready room. Buzzing for entry, she entered as soon as the doors opened enough.

Kathryn looked up from the report she was reading. "Seven, what can I do for you?"

"I just spoke with Chakotay. I told him I could no longer be with him now that he isn't the alpha male on this ship. I cannot be with a nobody. He said he understood and to come to you to ask for a divorce. I would like it immediately, Captain!"

"Don't you want time to think about it, Seven?" She was shocked, not at what Chakotay said, but at what Seven apparently said to Chakotay.

"No. He never loved me anyway. He often cried out your name when we were having sex." She sneered as she said, "I'm glad you hate him Captain! I'm glad you took away all he loved!"

"I'll see that it gets done today, Seven. Dismissed." Kathryn was furious at Seven.

What have I done to him? Tears flowed down Kathryn's cheeks. She wiped them away. I can't afford to upset myself over this. I have my baby to think about.

Still, she spent the afternoon staring into space thinking about him.

Several Weeks Later

Kathryn couldn't sleep. She tossed and turned most of the night. Finally, at 4am she decided to simply stay up.

After getting a cup of tea, she asked the computer if Chakotay was awake. It replied that he was sleeping. She then asked it to notify her when he was awake.

She then took a quick shower and dressed. She was on her third cup of tea when the computer notified her he was awake and that he was working in Cargo bay 4.

She headed that way, running through her mind what she was going to say to him. She wasn't looking forward to a screaming match.

He looked up as soon as he heard the cargo bay doors open. He stood staring as she walked toward him. She looks even more beautiful pregnant!

"Chakotay"

"Janeway" He wanted to say something nasty, but he could tell she had been crying. Standing before him, she looked very sad and very pregnant. What the hell did he care? She told him it wasn't his.

He picked up a beautiful mask they had gotten from the planet Ruiel. He continued to work as he waited for her to say something.

"Yes, Chakotay, you were working with a liar. Me, Chakotay. I lied to you. You are the baby's father. I don't know what happened., but I'm sure we never had sex. Can you forgive me for lying to you?"

"I think so. I'm not really sure, Captain."

She had noticed the way he had handled the mask. I imagine he would hold our child the way he just held that mask, with extreme reverence!

"Do you like the work your doing here?"

"Yes, I like it very much. And, it's peaceful. I don't get bothered."

"Chakotay, I want you to be able to see your son. Perhaps we can make arrangements for him to be down here with you at least two or three days a week. I remember how good you were with Naomi. Would you be interested?"

'Of course, I would". A son! We're going to have a son! But, I'm afraid to let her see how excited I am. She might go back on her word.

"The baby is due in two months. I'll let you know when he arrives."

'Yes, please do." She's not going to ask me to be there. I'd give anything for that, but she wants me to suffer. She still hates me. I won't beg her. That's what she wants.

She watched him closely while he went back to work cleaning the mask. After several minutes, she turned and left.

He looks good. I look like hell! What's wrong with me? I wanted to go up to him and put my arms around him. I wanted to tell him that I love him, so much, so very very much! She had tears in her eyes as she entered the turbo lift and headed to the mess hall. It was time for crew evals. He had always helped her with them. Now, she would do them alone. She had kept the spot of First Officer open, but she knew she needed to move Tuvok up. Perhaps, assign Ayala to take Tuvok's place.

God, she looks so beautiful pregnant. I wanted to take her in my arms and caress her. I wanted to put my hand on her stomach and feel my son's heartbeat. A son! He grinned as he continued to work. Most of the day, as he worked, he imagined what his son would look like. In his mind, he listed the things he wanted to teach the boy.

That day he went to the mess hall after the lunch time was over. There was still a few lingering souls sitting around eating. None spoke to him. They just didn't know what to say. They all couldn't understand why he was no longer Commander. In fact, why was he no longer in Starfleet? However, there were a lot of different theories going around about what had happened to him. Some said the baby Janeway was carrying was his; some said the reason they no longer spoke was because the baby belonged to someone else. Some even said that she was upset with him for having married Seven.

As Chakotay sat quietly eating, Ayala walked into the mess hall and got a cup of coffee. He was going to leave with it, but he saw Chakotay sitting by himself. He also noticed several people watching Chakotay. What the hell do they think Chakotay's going to do to them? Eat them!

Ayala walked over to Chakotay's table.

"May I?" He motioned to the seat across from Chakotay.

"Are you sure you want to sit by someone like me?"

"Get off your high horse, Chakotay. It's me you're talking to. How are you doing?"

Chakotay looked up from the soup he was eating, "I'm doing okay. For once on this ship, I'm doing something I actually enjoy. How are things with you?"

"Well, finally today, the Captain made Tuvok her first officer. And, she's moving me up to head of security. I get a promotion. Not sure that's good or not."

"You'll do fine. And, who's the love of your life this week, Mike?" Chakotay knew that Mike enjoyed the women and switched women quite often.

"Actually, I've been with Megan Delany for almost a month now. That's a record for me." He lowered his head for a minute, then looked back up at Chakotay, "Half of me wants Mary to wait for me. The other half wants her to think I'm dead and move on. It seems the longer we're out here, the more I think of her. Megan knows it. Maybe Megan hopes that one day, I'll let go of the feelings I have for Mary. But, feelings are a hard thing to change especially when you love someone so deeply."

Chakotay understood that very well. He was still very much in love with Kathryn, and he thought he probably always would be.

"The Captain visited me today. First time I've talked to her since I resigned. She told me the baby was mine. She wants me to have visits with him once he's born. How generous of her!"

"Maybe things will work out for the two of you yet. She always looks so sad these days. She seldom comes in here, and she never goes to any of the functions."

"That's her choice, Mike. Maybe once the baby is born, she'll come around. She deserves to be happy. I just wish I was the one making her happy, but she's turned me away too many times. I don't want to try again. It only hurts more each time."

Suddenly, the ship rocked. The red alert alarms came on.

"Got to go, Chakotay. See you later."

"Take care, Mike and take care of Kathryn for me!"

"I will. I promise."

Suddenly, Chakotay was the only one left in the mess hall. He got more tea and headed back to his quarters. Every once in awhile the ship would rock, and he could hear the blasts. He hoped Kathryn and the baby were ok. He could imagine her there on the bridge, giving orders, asking for reports. If anything, she was the best Captain he had ever known.

The attack lasted much of the night. Finally things were quite. He wanted to go find her, but he knew he wouldn't be welcome.

All of a sudden the attack began again. Chakotay was lying in bed trying to sleep, but the attack made it impossible. He decided to go to the cargo bay and get some work done.

He had just arrived at the cargo bay, when he heard his name being called :

"Mr. Chakotay, report to sick bay."

No! It's Kathryn and the baby. They've been hurt! He rushed to the nearest turbo lift. Thankfully, it was still working. Within minutes he was entering sick bay.

"Doc!"

'

"Back here, Mr. Chakotay."

Chakotay rushed to the back, noticing on his way that Tom and Sam were taking care of several people.

He saw the doc and stopped suddenly. The doc was leaning over Kathryn. He drew in a breath and went up to them. Kathryn looked bad. She was trying not to cry.

"Chakotay, please you must help! Tuvok's dead. I can't …I'm hurt. You need to go to the bridge and take over. You can do it. Please!" She sobbed. "Don't let them take the ship!" She had grabbed his hand and was holding on tightly. "I've fixed it so you can get on decks 1, 2, and 3. Please!"

He bent over and kissed her forehead, "Hang in there, Kathryn. I'm on my way up there."

As he was leaving, Tom left with him. Tom was needed more on the bridge than in sickbay at this point. The doc had trained Tal Celes, and she had just arrived. Celes, Sam and the EMH could handle sickbay.

Tom and Chakotay rode the turbo lift in silence. Once they got to the bridge, Tom went to the pilot's seat and replaced a very insecure John Jennings. Harry was trying to give orders. When he saw Chakotay, he let out a sigh of relief.

"Chakotay, you have the bridge."

Chakotay soon began giving orders. There were three ships out there. They were big, but it seemed like they were getting in each others way. Chakotay knew what to do.

"Paris, on my mark, we'll do the old Donovan maneuver. Do you remember it?"

"Sure do." Paris's hands flew over the key board. When Chakotay saw that Paris had the data locked in, he gave the word. Paris began the maneuver. It took out two of the enemy ships. The third continued to fire.

After a couple of minutes, the ship turned and started to leave. It didn't get too far before it suddenly exploded.

"Harry, can you run scans to see if there are any more ships in the area?"

"I'm not finding any. And, I don't think they had cloaking ability. I'll keep scanning."

Chakotay sat down in his old chair. "I need damages reports as soon as possible" They began coming in. Belanna's main concern was the warp core. It had taken slight damage. They could only get impulse speed, until it could be fixed.

Chakotay was in a hurry to get back down to sick bay. He asked Harry to take the bridge and for Doug Hendricks to take Harry's place. Neither questioned it. They just did their jobs.

Doug suddenly spoke up, "There is a nebula about three hours ahead at impulse speed. I've been scanning it, Chakotay, I don't see any ships around."

"Good job, Hendricks! We can hide in there while we do repairs. Harry, I'm going down to sickbay. Anything comes up, let me know." He hurried to the turbo lift and took it down to sickbay.

Arriving back in sickbay, he headed to the back where Kathryn was, but the EMH stopped him. They went into his office.

"How is she, doc? And, the baby?"

The EMH shook his head, "The Captain was severely hurt. Chakotay, she lost the baby. The womb was badly damaged. I had to remove it. The baby was already dead by the time we got her in here. She didn't want you to know till after the attack. She was afraid, you wouldn't help."

"I want to see her."

"She's sleeping. She needs it. She hasn't had a decent nights sleep in ages." He saw the look in Chakotay's eyes, "You can sit beside her for awhile if you want. And, Chakotay, thank you!"

"Thank you? For what?"

"I heard what you did on the bridge. You saved us." Nodding toward the Captain, "She'll be glad to have you back."

"I'm not back, doc. I'll never wear a Starfleet uniform again!"

He pulled a chair next to Kathryn's biobed. He'd stay for awhile. He didn't want to be there when she woke up. He was too afraid he'd give in. He sat there for a couple of hours thinking. She looked so peaceful asleep, but awake, she was hell on wheels. He still loved her, and he knew he always would.

After a few hours, he left sickbay. He stopped by the bridge first making sure that all was well. Finally he proceeded to his cabin on deck 14. He lay on his bed without removing his clothes. He was exhausted, but it was some time before he could sleep. Tossing and turning, he kept reliving what the EMH had said to him. "She's badly hurt. The baby is dead. I had to remove her womb." Finally, his mind began to settle down a bit.

The next morning, he showered and changed into clean clothes before replicating breakfast. Then he went to the cargo bay and began working. He wanted to go to sickbay to check on Kathryn, but he was afraid. No, he wasn't afraid of Kathryn. He was afraid of himself - afraid that he would give into her demands and rejoin Starfleet.

There were few announcements during the day, and few the following day. The third day, he heard Kathryn make an announcement about the funeral for Tuvok and Lt. Mendez, from engineering. Kathryn sounded sad, but he could tell she was coping.

He began to worry about how she could handle being without Tuvok or him on the bridge. He knew that they had been the most qualified to handle bridge duty, but now both were gone. There was no way Kathryn could do it by herself. And, Harry didn't have enough tactical training, although he tried his best.

Looking out the window, he could tell that they were still in the nebula, which meant that repairs were still not finished. Well, it wasn't his problem any longer. He had his own work to do. But, he couldn't work. All he could think of was Kathryn and the baby! He decided to take a vision quest.

He hurried back to his cabin. Upon entering, he went to his night stand and picked up his medicine bundle. He hadn't been able to complete a vision quest in months, but he needed to try again.

Sitting on the floor, he opened the pouch and spread it's contents around him. Placing his hand on the akoona, he began saying the ancient words as he closed his eyes.

Suddenly he heard a sound of metal hitting metal. Opening his eyes, he didn't find himself in the forest where he usually ended up. Instead he was in their old kitchen on Dorvan, sitting at the table.. His mother had her back to him as she stood by the sink. She was washing out her big skillet. It made a noise as it hit the sides of the metal sink.

"Take your elbows off the table, Chakotay. You know it's bad manners!" she admonished him.

"Yes, mom" and he immediately removed them.

"I'm disappointed in you, Chakotay. You have hurt her."

'I've hurt her? You have no idea, mom, what she's done to me!'

"Yes, I do know, but I also know that you have hurt her more. Kathryn loves you. Do you love her?"

"Yes, very much! But I don't think she really loves me."

"Don't try to fool yourself, Chakotay. You've seen the love for you in her eyes."

"Not lately!"

"Of course not. You've been too busy trying to hurt her." she turned and walked over to the table and sat down across from him. "Chakotay, your father and I have always taught you to respect women."

He lowered his head so she couldn't look into his eyes. He didn't want her to see his shame.

"She wants me to rejoin Starfleet. I can't."

"Talk to her, but do not yell, do not raise your voice in anger. Tell her that you want to help, but that you can't wear the uniform again. She does understand. It's just that she is so rigid in the Starfleet ways. It's all she's known. But, I have a feeling, she will bend. She's beginning to understand that she has to in order to get her crew home."

"I will talk to her."

"A couple of things before you go, son. The two of you, working together , will get the crew home. You have my word on that. And, Chakotay, you and Kathryn will have a son."

"How is that possible, mother? The doctor has removed her womb. Kathryn can't carry a child."

She smiled, "As I said, the two of you will have a son. Believe me!"

"I hope so. She's the one I want to be with."

'Go to her, Chakotay. But, before you go, your mama needs a hug and a kiss.'

"Gladly, Mother!" Getting up, he walked around the table and took his mother in his arms. Bending down, he kissed her on both checks as she slowly faded away. He closed his eyes as the last of her disappeared. When he opened them again, he was back on the floor of his cabin.

Standing, he slapped his comm badge and asked for the location of the Captain. She was in her ready room.

He hurried out of his cabin and to the turbo lift. Getting off at the bridge, he walked directly to her ready room. He pressed the buzzer and the doors slid open. He stepped inside and looked around. She was standing by the viewport with a cup of coffee in her hand just staring.

"Janeway?"

She turned toward his voice and stared at him without saying anything.

"We need to talk"

"Chakotay, I don't have the time or energy to fight with you now."

"I don't either. But, I do have something to discuss with you."

She walked over to her desk and sat down in the chair. Looking him in the eyes, she motioned for him to sit down in front of her.

"You need someone on the bridge to help you reach your goal of getting Voyager home. I'm willing to go back to my old job, but not as a Starfleet officer."

"I can't let you do that." She said sadly.

"Sometimes, Janeway, you have to let go of some of your almighty principles. I'm offering you the help you need, but on one condition. Think about it, but don't wait until the next attack and more people are killed."

She started to say something, then closed her mouth and just stared at him. He stood and giving her a brief nod, left the room. She wanted him back, she needed him on the bridge. But, could she do it? Could she accept him on the bridge as a non-Starfleet person? She sighed.

That night they left the safety of the nebula as the warp core had been fixed. When morning arrived, Kathryn held Tuvok and Mendez's funerals. She tried not to cry in front of her crew, but a single tear made it's way down her cheek. She mourned for not only them but for the loss of her son.

After the funeral, Kathryn went looking for Chakotay. Finding him in cargo bay 4, she approached him. He heard her enter and turned around to face her. He saw that she had been crying, and he so desperately wanted to take her in his arms to comfort her. He figured it would only make her angry.

"Chakotay, at 0100, the baby…our….our baby. We will ..Oh God! I can't say it."

"I know what you're trying to say." He couldn't stand the pain she was in. He stepped forward and took her in his arms. He said quietly, "We'll get through this. Somehow, we'll get through this! And, we'll make it home. I promise!"

She clung to him as long as she could. Finally, pulling away, she asked, "You will be there, won't you? It'll be just you, me and the senior staff. I couldn't stand for the whole crew to see my grief."

"I'll be there. Go rest till then."

At 12:45 Chakotay arrived. The EMH was there standing beside Kathryn. The others hadn't arrived yet. Chakotay walked up to them and nodded. Then, he looked down at his son. His chest began to hurt, and he began to sweat. The baby was beautiful. He looked just like he was sleeping. Chakotay silently said a prayer. As he finished, the rest of the senior staff walked in. They had waited to give the parents time to view the body.

Kathryn spoke softly about love and children. Chakotay spoke as well. Finally, Tom and Harry closed the lid and sealed it. Then the baby was sent into the cold vacuum of space. As they watched it go out of view, Kathryn moaned and sank to the floor. The EMH knelt before her, "We need to get her to sickbay." Chakotay picked her up in his arms. And, the three of them transported into sickbay. Chakotay laid her down on the biobed that the EMH indicated. The EMH asked him to wait in his office which Chakotay reluctantly did.

Soon, the EMH came to his office to talk with Chakotay.

"She'll be okay in a couple of days. She needs rest. If I could, I'd put her on medical leave, but I can't. There's no one to run the ship."

"I'm going to help run it until she comes back on duty. Then it will be up to her if I stay or not. We already talked about it. I'll do it as long as I don't have to be in Starfleet."

Chakotay went straight to the bridge again. The bridge crew welcomed him. They didn't like some of the choices he had made, but they all knew that he would do a good job on the bridge the way he always had before.

Four days later as Chakotay stepped off the turbo lift onto the bridge, Tom said to him, "Chakotay, the Captain wants to see you in her ready room right away."

Chakotay headed across the bridge and pushed the buzzer for admittance to the ready room. As he entered, he saw Kathryn sitting on the couch drinking a cup of coffee. He walked over to her and stood waiting for her to say something. Finally, she spoke…."Get something from the replicator to drink and then sit down." She watched him as he walked over to the replicator. Damm! He looks so good in that outfit. So very strong and handsome!

After getting a cup of tea, he sat beside her waiting for her to speak. She took another drink of her coffee before she said anything.

"I've thought about your offer to help. And, I wanted with all that's in me, to say no. But, how can I? The crew needs you."

"Just the crew?"

She turned slowly toward him, "No, not just the crew! I need you. I not only need you to help get Voyager home, but I need you as my friend."

She then sat silently as she waited for him to speak. It seemed to take for ever.

"As long as I don't have to put on that uniform, I'll take you up on the offer to help get the ship home. As far as the friendship goes, we both will have to work to rebuild it. I wish we could just shake hands and be friends, but we can't. We both have hurt each other, and it's going to take time."

"Thank you! I understand, and I agree. It will take time. Both of us were at fault."

"I still want to work on the artifacts at least one day a week. I enjoyed that so much. I'm willing to be on the bridge as much as you need. Just give me a schedule."

"I'll work on it today. Go back to your artifacts. I'll send you the schedule later today."

The next day Chakotay came back to the bridge. As he entered, he headed for his old chair, calling out, "Report"

Tom replied, "All systems normal. We are headed to the Alpha Quadrant at Warp 6."

Chakotay sat back in his chair. He was glad to be back. Glancing at the chair beside him, he wondered if she'd ever sit in it while he was on duty.

Little by little over the next few months, Kathryn and Chakotay began renewing their friendship. He still called her Janeway, which irritated her. But, as he pointed out, he could be calling her worst things.

For months, they didn't run into any problems. Then one day, they came across an uninhabited planet which had a lot of food stuff that they could use as well as several minerals. Kathryn, Belanna, Neelix and Sam Wildman went down to the planet to check things out. Belanna was very excited. They could mine enough minerals to last for six months or more. Neelix was also excited about all the different food items that he could collect. His only disappointment was that there was no Leola root in site. Everyone else was very thankful for that!

When Kathryn came back to the ship, she was very excited. She went to her ready room and called for Chakotay to come there.

As he entered he saw this wide grin on her face. He smiled back.

"Tea, Chakotay?"

"Of course."

"Have a seat on the couch. I'm so excited about all the foodstuff we found." He could hear the excitement in her voice.

She handed him his tea and sat beside him. "We found these huge pear shaped fruits that are lime green in color. They taste like watermelon. And, we found strawberries, Chakotay, and they not only look like strawberries, but they taste like strawberries. Also, we found a vegetable, although purple in color, that tastes like sweet potatoes. There is more. Tomorrow, when we go down, I want Noah Lessing to come with. I think he will be able to bring back some plants, especially the strawberry ones, to grow in the hyponics bay. If anyone can do it, he can."

"Also, I think that we're going to land the ship. We can all use a bit of rest after the collecting is all done. It's beautiful down there. It reminds me of New Earth."

He was shocked at her mention of New Earth. She hadn't mentioned it in years. "I hope without the storms and the monkey!" They both laughed at that statement!

The food and minerals were collected over the next two days. Noah had quite a collection of plants that he thought that he could grow. He got six plants that he was going to surprise the Captain with as they tasted just like coffee. If he could grow them, he knew how happy she would be. Over time, they had become friends. She often came down to hyponics just to talk with him. And, he always made sure there were fresh flowers in the vase on her desk.

While the ship was on land, some needed work was done on the outside hull. Voyager had been through some ruff times, and she looked a little worn. Still, the entire crew was proud of her. Each crew member had two days off just to rest or swim in the lake that they discovered.

Finally they took off again, soon leaving the planet far behind. They had enjoyed their time on the planet, but they all wanted to continue their journey, all believing if anyone could get them home, it would be Kathryn Janeway.

About a week later, they were attacked by a small armada of ships that had little fire power. They did no damage, but they were just bothersome. It was several days before the armada simply disappeared. Things were quite for sometime after that.

Several Weeks Later

"Captain to the bridge" Harry called. She was in her cabin. Quickly she set aside the salad she had been eating and headed to the bridge.

"What is it?" she asked as soon as she left the turbo lift.

"There is a distress signal coming from a planet about three hours away."

"Set a course for it. And, keep scanning. We don't need a trap."

Soon Chakotay joined them on the bridge.

"Captain, " Harry said, "There are no ships around the planet. Appears that a small ship crashed onto it. I'm detecting two life signs."

Kathryn turned to Chakotay, "Take Ayala and Stevens. Beam down to the planet once we are in transporter range. Be careful." And to Harry, "Harry keep running scans."

As soon as they were in transporter range, Chakotay, Ayala and Stevens beamed down. They saw the crashed shuttle and headed toward it. As they neared, they saw an old man sitting on a piece of wreckage holding a baby in his arms. He was feeding the baby a bottle.

He looked up as they neared. "Looks like my prayers have been answered. I prayed someone would find us before it was too late." His voice was low and hesitant.

"We came to help. What happened?"

"My son and daughter-in-law are in there, dead," He motioned toward the inside. "They will be gone in a few minutes."

Chakotay and Ayala looked confused. So the old man went on to explain: "We are the Alwanna. Our planet was attacked. We managed to get away. There is nothing left of the planet. The three of us were hurt bad. What happens to us when we die is that our bodies simply vanish in a few hours. I won't live much longer. I will soon vanish."

"We could transport you to our ship where we have a doctor. He can help you."

"No, he cannot. I've already entered the excussion stage. Once it's entered there is no going back." He looked at Chakotay with sad eyes, "My grandson needs the help. He's fine, You seem like a good person. I want you to take him and raise him. If you can't raise him, please give him to someone who can. I trust you." He held out the baby to Chakotay who took him into his arms. Chakotay looked down at the baby and smiled.

"I've done the right thing," the man said and closed his eyes. Ayala bent over to check him. He was dead.

"What should we do, Chakotay?"

"Nothing, he will simply vanish. We need to get back to the ship. I must honor his request."

"Looks like you have a son!"

Chakotay looked down at the now sleeping baby. "Yes, looks like I do!'

He hit his comm badge, "Chakotay to Captain Janeway."

"Janeway here."

"Where are you?"

"I'm in the mess hall. Why?

"We're beaming up. Please, meet me in the ready room."

"I certainly will."

Moments later they were back on the ship.. Chakotay took the turbo lift to the bridge holding the baby. All eyes turned toward him as he got off and headed to the ready room. He had a bundle in his arms and he was talking to it.

"Is that a baby?" Harry said.

Just as the ready room doors opened, they heard a cry.

"Yep! Sounds like a baby anyway." Paris replied.

Kathryn looked up from a report she had been reading and saw him standing there with a bundle in his arms, a bundle whose contents was crying. She was in shock!

"Who do you have there, Chakotay?"

"My son, Kathryn." It pleased her that just a few weeks before he had started calling her Kathryn again. She stood and walked with him over to the couch.

"What happened?" He handed her the baby, and she unwrapped the blanket from his body. She counted the toes and the fingers. "He's beautiful, Chakotay. He looks human."

He told her about the old man.

"Had we not been in the area, not only would the baby's parents and grandfather died, but the baby would have died as well."

"What's his name?"

"The old man didn't say." He looked into her eyes, "We need to find a name for him. And, Kathryn, I'd like to have my old quarters back. It's bigger than my place on deck 14."'

"Of course, the quarters is yours. You can get the crib you made for Naomi out of storage. I'm sure every thing will be alright. We can ask people to help take care of him, when you need to be on the bridge. If I'm available, I'd love to do it." She had tears in her eyes thinking of the baby they had lost. She often thought of him.

Although he was worried that she might not appreciate it, he put his arm around her and drew her and the baby closer.

"We need to take him down to sickbay and have the EMH check him out. He looks healthy, but you never know," he stood, "Will you come with us Kathryn/?" He saw the way she couldn't seem to take her eyes off the baby.

"Yes…yes, of course!"

Together they exited the ready room with Kathryn carrying the baby. All eyes turned and watched them walk to the turbo lift.

After checking the baby over, the EMH pronounced him healthy. "I need a name to put on his medical records. And, he's two months old. You two decide on a birth date to put down as well."

They talked it over and decided on calling the baby Paka. And, they chose June 20th for his birthday.

Fourteen Months Later

"Paka, no, no!" Kathryn removed his hand from her hair. "You must not do that!"

Paka looked at her as if to say, "You took away my toy!"

Chakotay walked into his cabin and found them playing in the floor. He stood there grinning as he watched his two favorite people. He loved both of them so very much.

As soon as Paka saw him, he stood and walked over to Chakotay, "Da-da, Da-da", Chakotay picked him up and swung him high in the air as Paka shrieked with laughter.

Kathryn rose from the floor and was watching them, She loved them both so much. I wish they were both mine. I couldn't bare to lose either one of them

Chakotay took her hand and still holding Paka, led her over to the couch. As soon as they were seated comfortable with Paka on his daddy's lap, Chakotay turned to her, "Kathryn, Paka and I have something to ask you.'

"Oh, what is it?"

"Will you marry us? We both love you so much."

Kathryn's eyes filled with tears, "I..I…oh yes, yes, yes! I love both of you so much as well!"

Holding Paka in one arm, Chakotay put his other arm around her and drew her close. He kissed her gently. As soon as he kissed her, Paka had to give her a kiss too.

"So, Paka, what do you think? Do you want Kathryn for your mama?"

Paka reached his hand out to touch Kathryn's face, 'Ma ma"

That night, after Paka went to bed, they discussed their future together. They decided to wait until they found a friendly planet and try to get someone there to marry them. If not, they'd wait until they got home. However, they decided to combine their cabins into one bigger one. They didn't want to be apart any longer.

The entire crew was thrilled that their Captain and Chakotay were together as they should be.

Six Months Later

They found the wormhole that took them to the Alpha Quadrant. They were both sitting in the command chairs when Admiral Paris came on the view screen to welcome them home.

He looked around the bridge, smiling, especially at his son that he was so proud of.

"Captain, over the years, things have changed here. I'm sure from the data streams you have received from us, that you have figured it out. We were in a terrible war with the Dominion while you were away. Millions of our people were killed. Starfleet lost most of their officers. We have decided to allow your people to retain the ranks you have given them. We will hold nothing against the former Marquis or the Equinox crew. All will be given back pay for their time spent on Voyager. In addition, they will be given six months leave. During that time they can decide to continue being in Starfleet or to leave. Now before I sign off, is there anything I can do for you?"

"Yes, there is one thing.." Kathryn motioned for Harry to go in the ready room and get Sam and Paka as Sam was watching him in there. They came out in seconds. Kathryn took Paka into her arms. "First Admiral, I want to introduce you to our child. This is Paka Caylem Janeway. And, he wants you to marry his mommy and daddy." She smiled as big a smile as she could."

"Welcome, Paka. You have a fine set of parents." Looking up at Kathryn he asked," When do you want to get married?"

"Now! No time like the present! We've waited long enough."

She motioned Harry to open a ship wide channel, which he did. Suddenly, the entire crew heard Admiral Paris say, "We are gathered here today…." Cheers went up all over the ship!

Two Months Later

"Kathryn, I want to take you and Paka on a vision quest with me. Hopefully, we can contact my mother."

"I'd like that, Chakotay. I've heard so much about her."

He went to the nightstand where he kept his medicine bundle. He sat on the floor and spread the contents out. Kathryn sat beside him ,holding Paka.

He held her hand with his while his other hand rubbed the akoona. Soon, the three of them found themselves in the kitchen on Dorvan. His mother was standing with her back to them at the kitchen sink. Again, she was washing the big skillet.

"It's about time, you came to see me" She said as she turned slowly around. She walked over to Kathryn and took the baby from her arms. Then leaning down, she kissed Kathryn on both cheeks. "I thought he was never going to get it right! Welcome, Kathryn and welcome Paka!'

She kept hugging and kissing the baby as Kathryn and Chakotay watched. "Mom, aren't you forgetting someone?"

She smiled and walked around the table to him, "Welcome son. I've missed you. I told you that you would get home."

"Yes, and you also told me that Kathryn and I would have a son. I'm sorry that I doubted you."

"Now what are you two going to do? Will you stay in Starfleet, Kathryn?"

"I'm not sure. I may look at other options."

Chakotay's mom sat down in a chair still holding tightly to Paka, "I have an idea…."

Six Months Later

Chakotay, Kathryn, Paka and one hundred and ten of their former crew stood looking around them at the barren land.

Belanna, holding Miral, spoke first, "There's a lot to do, but hey, we can do anything we set our minds to. We're the Voyager family, and together we rock!"

Kathryn looked around at all of them and said, "Yes, soon this land will no longer be a waste land. The Admirals sent lots of supplies and more are coming. In a few years, Dorvan will look like home. So, people today is the first day of the rest of our lives. Let's get started."

Within a year, an area ten miles square had been reclaimed. They had found water underground. When the Cardassians had destroyed the planet, they only destroyed it three feet down. The water was five feet down. Once they cleaned out the dry riverbeds and made them safe, they could bring up the water, which was safe, to the surface. That took care of one of their biggest problems. With the water, they could irrigate. They soon had a power station going. Then, they worked on permanent homes for the crew.

Over the years, Dorvan continued to grow. People continued to resettle there. Businesses sprang up and a government took shape. Chakotay became an Ambassador. He often traveled to Earth. On one trip that he made, he brought back Gretchen, and Retired Admiral Owen Paris and Millie, his wife. They had all decided to live out their lives near the people they loved most.

Once Chakotay retired as Ambassador, Paka took his place. He had grown into a fine young man who loved his parents very much.

Many Years Later

Chakotay and Kathryn sat on the porch of their cabin holding hands. Chakotay let go of her hand and put his arm around her holding her close. He kissed her on the cheek.

"When we first came here, did you really think Dorvan would become a thriving planet?"

"Yes, I did. I knew that with our crew, anything was possible. They are the finest!"

"Kathryn, I love you. I never get tired of telling you that!"

"I love you too! You have been my everything!"

The End