The pieces in her life seemed to be finally coming together. Her tormentor was dead, she was in charge of the squad and the son she had always wanted was asleep in the next room. Then why did she still feel so upset?
Olivia opened the bedroom door to check on Noah, doubled checked that the baby monitor was on before closing the door. She poured herself a glass of red wine, and turned on Bessie Smith radio on Pandora. The blues always seemed to sooth her. Sitting on the couch in her NYPD gray t-shirt and a pair of capri leggings, she began to sip her wine.
Why is she cursed to never be able to feel truly happy? She could blame her mother, which was the easy way out. Yes Sylvia Benson wasn't the best mother in the world, but even people who did come from the typical home had it bad.
No she has trust issues. It isn't that everyone she has ever loved leaves her, she doesn't let them get close enough. She keeps them so far away from her heart that they have no choice but to leave. These thoughts are what lead her to send the text. A text that she would've never sent if she wasn't so down in the dumps and didn't have a glass and a half of wine in her.
"Please don't leave me."
She hadn't expected a response, let alone one right back to her. "Liv? Are you ok? Who says I'm going to leave you? Where are you?"
Unsure how to exactly answer she just wrote "at home."
"I'm coming over. I'll be there in 15."
Liv looked at her phone and gulped. "Oh boy." She didn't move or drink anymore she sat and listened to the music. Her love of the blues had been there since she was a little girl. Now she is far from musical but the sad lyrics to an upbeat tempo used to make her feel better about her life. It made her feel less alone. The buzz she was expecting came over the speaker. "Hello?" She said out of habit and to be sure.
"It's me buzz me in." Liv followed his instructions and stood by the door. The knock came, taking a big gulp she opened the door to Nick. Standing aside so he could enter. "Liv what was with your text? Are you ok?" Nick asked.
Liv was utterly embarrassed right now "Yeah sorry about that. It was nothing. I should've told you not to come." She walked back to the couch. Nick took in the atmosphere, he saw the wine glass and heard the music. "It isn't nothing, you are clearly upset. And I say this with no judgment just curiosity; how many glasses have you had?" he asked pointing to the wine glass that was still half full as he sat next to Liv.
"This is my second glass."
"Are you going to tell me about the text?" She shook her head "there isn't anything to tell."
Nick was well aware how stubborn his former partner was and when she didn't want to talk about something she didn't. They sat in a comfortable silence for a few minutes, with only the sound of blues surrounding them. "I didn't know that you liked the blues" Nick finally said.
"There is a lot of about me that you don't know" Liv whispered. "Well I want to know. I thought we were friends" Nick turned to face her.
"I'm not very good at this."
"Can you please tell me why you sent the text asking me to never leave you? What makes you think I am going to leave you?"
For the first time since his arrival Olivia looks at him "Nick, your family is moving across the country, your job is up in the air. What do you have here in New York?" She pauses for a moment "you aren't the first and won't be the last man to walk away from me."
"Yes my life is shit right now. I am unsure of absolutely everything except for the fact that I have you as a confidant. We had a lot of hurdles to get over the two of us but somehow we did it. It made us stronger. You ask me what I have here in New York, well Liv I have you. Even if I do decide to move out to LA, I still will be your friend. I'm not your old partner who will just stop talking to you."
Liv wiped a tear from her eye "you see I always knew that. I just… I get afraid when things go to well in my life. Like it is some sort of dream and I am going to wake up and none of it will be real. Too much bad things have happened to me for me to think any other way." Her voice cracked as more tears came. This is not how she had expected this night to go.
Nick didn't say anything, he only pulled her close to him so she could cry on his shoulder. He had never really seen Olivia break down. She was the strongest person he knew and her she was raw. He finally got to see the human behind the machine that was Sargent Benson. He was combing his fingers through her hair, feeling content. The urge took over him and he kissed the top of her head.
Liv slowly calmed herself down at the gently strokes of Nicks hand running through her hair. No one had ever seen her have this sort of melt down. None of her boyfriends, she was never this close with them. If they had been snuggling this would have led to the bedroom; but this was different. This was different, this was comfortable. She never felt this at ease before.
The two friends let the blues music surround them. "Thanks for coming over Nick."
"Always".
This is my first SVU story. Please review and let me know what you think. This just came to me and I wrote this in about two hours and wanted to post it right away. It came to me while I was listening the blues and thought that Olivia would like it. I am a Bensaro fan but I tried to keep this open to interpretation. I hope you liked this.