Set after 'Reunion.' But sort of following the plot after 'Shansu to LA'
OK I tried to fit this all in one page but Opps.. I didn't! it's in two parts now and there is a plot and proper
ending to this one.
Disclaimer: the characters in 'Angel the TV series' don't belong to me neither does anyone in 'Buffy the
Vampire Slayer' They belong to Joss, David and all those rich MD's at WB, Fox and Mutant (Grr, Arr) Enemy
Inc.
Can you please review this because I wasn't sure how Angel fans will take this! Plus I also want to know what you think of my description of Angels Hell. Also I have just seen 'Superstar.' and I have renamed Captain Cardboard, Love Handles Boy, Cos in one scene did he had Love Handles, I really think Rileys got Love Handles.
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Cordelia stood in front of Angel, her hands on her hips. He turned to look at her. They were now alone after Wesley and Gunn had stormed out in anger over Angels action of sacking them. Cordelia had stayed behind knowing that only she could talk some sense into Angel. She found him down in his weapons room.
"Angel are you down here?" Cordelia shouted as she made her way down the spiral staircase.
"Cordelia go home. I don't want you here. I've fired you now leave." Angel growled picking up the wide handled broadsword beside him. He began slowly swiping it in the air. His focus changed from Cordelia to the movements the sword made through the air, breathing in the musky smell the sword disturbed. He heard a shuffling behind him. "Are you still here? I told you to go."
"And what? Let you brood here all by yourself. I'm your seer, you can't sack me, only I can sack me. Don't you care what happens to us? Stop swinging the fucking sword in the air will you?" She shouted at the distant shadow standing before her. "ANGEL!" she shouted again, the old Queen C resurfacing.
Angel went to walk away from her but she stepped expertly in his way.
"Cordelia get out of my way."
He went to walk forward again but she stood firm to her spot. Angel turned away before letting his game face show through. His anger built up to the point of exploding. His game face still on he dropped the sword, clattering to the ground and pushed Cordelia out of the way. Cordelia wasn't ready for the force he used and stumbled to the side. She crashed to the stone floor of the basement with a crack and groaned as she watched Angel stride through the open door in front of him. He never looked back to see Cordelia cry out in pain as she tried to pick herself off the floor. She stumbled up the stairs clutching at her side, wincing in pain every time she took a breath.
Later That Night:
"Ahh Miss Chase, looks like you've been in the wars. I've got your X-rays back and I'm sorry to say you have three broken ribs and some sever tissue damage." Cordelia looked up at her doctor in concern. "Oh a few big bruises. How did you do it? Your X-ray shows you've had a few bumps and knocks in your time but there are none on your medical records."
"Broken ribs! The knocks and bumps are from my line of work. I'm a...a stunt double in the industry."
The doctor looked at her doubtingly. "Right, we'll just strap you up for support and here take these everytime the pain gets too much." The doctor handed her a bottle of painkillers. "You should be OK in a week or so, just don't go doing any dangerous stunts or anything much really."
Cordelia walked out of the hospital into the chilly night air. She stood outside her car and stared in disbelief. 'Angel has given me broken ribs! Angel actually hurt me.' She thought to herself before awkwardly climbing into her car and driving home.
Two Nights Later:
Cordelia took a deep breath, taking the night air in front of the new AI base. The hotel stood out as Cordelia looked through the open door into the reception area. She took a few tentative steps into the entrance and jumped at the clicking sounds of her own heels on the mosaic floor.
Angel felt his senses heighten as the familiar presence entered the hotel. It wasn't a Vampire since the deeds were in Cordelias name, unbeknown to her, so no Vampires could just walk on in. He stood up and walked towards the reception. He stared, for a second, at the tall brunette looked anxiously around the airy building.
"I thought I told you to stay away. What do you want."
"Way to welcome your seer Angel." She looked at his face for a slight smile. "OK sarcasm didn't work lets try tact-less. You suck." She looked the Vampire surprised face. "No I mean it Angel. You suck because you tell me how much you want this Shansu thing and how it would mean you could go back to Buffy. You want all this so badly yet your losing it. Everything you've, we've, worked for. You told me, when the weird lady in my apartment tried to kill me, that I was stronger person than what she was saying I was. Your stronger than to let Darla take you back over to the dark side. I won't let it happen." She looked at Angel for any sign she was getting through.
"Cordelia, sit down I want to explain then you will leave and never come back." He watched as
Cordelia lifted his double bladed axe from the chair.
Cordelia winced in pain before dropping the axe to the carpet with a soft thud. Angel heard the short gasp she took in and turned around to see her struggle with the axe, while trying to hold her side. He rushed to catch the axe but missed, trying to catch Cordelia instead.
"Cordelia what's wrong with you?" He asked sympathetically, a look of hurt in his eyes.
"Oh nothing, I thought you didn't care about us anyway. Now are you going to hire us back?" Cordelia said just above a whisper.
"Cordelia don't change the subject. Who, what did this to you? I find him and...Was it a demon?"
Cordelia placed her hand to her side as another wave of agony struck her. "No it wasn't a demon."
Angels face turned to slight realisation. "Somebody human? Did a boyfriend hit you?"
"No do you think I would let that happen, I would kick his ass."
"Then who?" Annoyance present on his face.
Cordelia looked away, hiding the pain that was in her heart and her side. "You. You did this to me." She said in a husky whisper.
Angel sharply withdrew from her side his face full of confusion. "What do you mean that I did this to you?" His voice now full of pain.
"When I came down to the weapons room and you tried to leave and I wouldn't let you. You went all grr and just pushed me out of the way. The doctor said that the bruises should be gone in a week but the three broken ribs will take about six weeks to heal then I will have to go in for all these check-ups." Cordelia uttered, her face turning away from Angel who was now sitting over the other side of the sofa. She saw the self hate and loathing in his eyes at what he had done, it cut her to the bone. "It's OK. I don't blame you. I should never have got in your way. It was my fault, I don't own your life, I have to learn that but I want to help save it. Talk to me, I don't care what about, just talk to me.
"Why? What good has talking ever done me? I tried to talk to Buffy but she hates me even more
now. I tried to talk to Darla, tried to make her see that having a soul was a good thing. She wouldn't listen to me, till Dru turned her again. See talking solves nothing."
Cordelia walked towards Angel her hands held put in openness. She painfully took his hands in her and placed them palm down on hers. "Feel that?!"
Angel felt his mind swirl into nothingness as the pulse and warmth he had craved from Cordelia and for himself surged through his ice-cold hands.
"That is life Angel, something I wouldn't have if it wasn't for you. You see, being able to talk to you
without judgement and pressure meant that when the going got tough I didn't go jump of an office block.
When Doyle died you sat and listened to me talk and talk about nothing. You didn't go away and brood in your grief. Instead you talked me through mine. Trust me, when we lost Doyle I felt off the top of an office block was the best way to go.
Angel looked at her, his hands still on her. "I think you better go, I'll call you."
He watched Cordelia leave and his heart heaved. He had hurt the woman he loved. 'How could I ever hurt the woman that I love more than anything in this world? What's happening to me? First Buffy now Cordelia.' He silently thought to himself walking over to the large Victorian window, that dominated the room, and stared into the blackening night. Angel watched in pain as Cordelia climbed awkwardly into her second hand convertible.
Cordelia dropped her mini-back pack on to the passenger seat and slid herself cross the drivers side, gripping the steering wheel in pain. A shooting pain spread across her chest making her breathe in short, laboured bursts. Her head began to swirl as the images in front of her blurred. Cordelia groped around on the seat next to her searching for her bag. She rummaged inside until she felt the cool smoothness of the pill bottle. In a struggle to find the strength to twist the child-safe lid without causing herself anymore pain, she gripped the bottle hard in her hand. She had no success as another wave of pain hit her hard. Cordelia frantically spilt the contents into her hand and counted out two painkillers. She washed them slowly down with the bottle of luke-warm water for her glove box, aware she was being watched.
Angel felt the guilt and the pain surge into his heart as he watched Cordelia struggle in pain, pain he had
caused. He wanted to go to help her find the bottle she was scrambling on the seat, to pass her the water, just to say sorry. He hadn't even said sorry to her, he let her go on blaming herself. He watched her intensely until he saw her lift her head and look straight at him. Angel stepped back, blending into the shadows, where he belonged.
Cordelia arrived back at her apartment and slipped through the door hoping not to disturb Dennis. She headed straight for her room. Cordelia stood in front of the mirror as she pulled off her Angora sweater to reveal her bruises and tightly bandaged chest. Her fingers lightly brushed over the now yellowing bruise and her mind flashed to when Angel had pushed her and the tears rolled down her cheek. `I can't believe he did this to me. The Angel I know wouldn't do this, Angelus would! God what if he's started to lose his grip on his demon, he did let all those people die. All be it, Wolfram and Hart, but they were still human. No Angelus would have took pleasure in tormenting me about my bad acting again. What if he's given up again like just before we found out her was gonna be human? Oh I give up I need to sleep, I have the CAT scan tomorrow. Fun!` Cordelia let out an exaggerated sigh before pulling on her tank top and shorts carefully over her tightly bandaged ribs and climbed into bed.
Cordelia tenderly turned over as the shrill sound of a ringing phoned filtered into her dreams. She winced as her ribs pressed lightly into the bed.
"Hello."
Angel sighed as her groggy voice filled his head. "Hello, Cordelia, It's me. I was wondering if we can have a talk...now."
Cordelia flashed a look at her bedside clock. "God Angel, it's 4 o'clock in the damn morning. Why now?"
"I'm on Vampire hours don't forget. I'll meet you in 30 minutes in Jesse's."
Cordelia put the receiver back on it's cradle on climbed back out of bed. She shivered in the coolness of the apartment and pulled on a pair of jogger and a over-sized fleece. Cordelia eased herself back into her car and took off for Jesse's Cafe. When she pulled up she could see him siting, looking out of place among the insomniacs of LA.
"Hiya." She slide into the chair beside him. "Why do you have to pick 4 o'clock in the morning to
finally open up? Never mind what do you want to talk about?"
"I was thinking about Darla." Cordelia put her hand up in front of his face and she swallowed back a gulp of Angels coffee.
"We're not gonna do the 'I loved human Darla and I can't kill her!' speech again are we? 'Cos I've been doing some thinking of my own. I came to a sort of conclusion of about this whole obsession with Darla. You see it goes like this. You fell in love with Darla when you were first turned because she understood you when everyone else feared you. You relied on her, you admired her because she taught Angelus all he knew. Then you went through all the time in Europe alone, with a soul and the only thing that kept you going was your admiration and Love of Darla. That was until you met Buffy. She showed you the innocent and pure love you deserved and you were able to move on from Darla because Buffy was there to catch you when you fell. Buffy accepted you for what you were with a soul but the Angelus issue was a mystery to her. That is why, back then, you had the strength to stake Darla when Buffy asked you too. Then you left Buffy and there was nothing for you. Trust me I know that feeling. That is why you brooded and wallowed in self pity." She noticed Angels pouting look. "What? Don't tell me you didn't wallow, 'Cos I dragged you out of wallowing so many times. Anyway, you brooded about Buffy and about the eternal torment of tortured souls. Then BOOM!! Wolfram and Hart bring back Darla and she's human. All your Christmases came at once because you had your precious Darla back and suddenly it didn't seem like such a bad life after all. But when Dru turned her back you felt you could still save her, that she still had a soul. Now you have nothing but the obsession again. Angel you have to get it into the think, ageless brain of yours that she is a Vampire through and through. She has no soul, she can't be saved and the only thing she wants is Angelus. I'm not going to let that happen, granted I can't fight, not like this but I can try my damn best to help you, Angel, to hang on to what is left of the Angel I knew and loved. You got me?"
Angel could do little but nod as his seer relayed his very thoughts back to him. "You never cease to amaze me, Cordelia, you are the only person who can actually tell what I'm thinking. You are only person I know who can separate me from Angelus, even though we both live in the same body. Thank-you. Now you're coming back to the hotel so I can take care of you, after all this is all my fault."
Cordelia simply nodded, think of no other place she would rather be, with Angel taking care of her.
Early Morning At The Hotel:
Cordelia sat happily on Angels lap, a cup of coffee in her hand as she listened to the birds chorus starting up in the world of the light having survived the darkness once again. Angel stirred beneath her as Cordelia pretended to fall back asleep, taking one last glance at his peaceful face. It was a face she had eched in her mind, a face she had grown to love deeply, a face of an angel. She closed her eyes and let out a happy, contented sigh.
Angel felt her small frame shift over his, making herself comfortable again. He slowly peeled her form off of
his and stood looking over her. He had never seen her looking so peaceful, as if their world of demons and
things of the night didn't exist. She was in her own utopia when she slept. Angel walked, silently, through the hotel to his room. He felt his body call out for sleep as the daylights signal told him, it was his time to sleep. He lay down on the cotton sheets and waited. After 10 minutes of sleep they came, the nightmares came again. They were worse than nightmares, they were memories. His memories of hell came flooding back into his mind, the darkness beckoning him back. He heard the demons tormenting him, slashing at his body. He watched as the wounds instantly healed and the demons became again, the pain collapsing his every hope of escape. The demons haunted him with insults and abuse of his soul. Then the faces began. The faces of all the people he had killed flashed before his eyes. Each one crying out in pain, pain he had caused and still did. The faces created a ring around him and his soul cried out in agony as the grief and suffering got too much for him. The faces slowly faded into the darkness and left him a swirling vortex. Angel felt his body being pulled back into land of the living, a world where he no longer had no place. He heard his fathers voice scolding him on how disappointed he was in him. 'You are nothing to me anymore. You were never anything. Look at what you did.' His father was joined by his mother and his sister. 'Look at what you did to them.' Cathys pale face filled his thoughts. 'Such a pale face, a shadow of her bonny face. You did this, how could you?' Cathys face filled his view once more only now it was full of life and the colour filled her cheeks like the sun. He watched helplessly as he saw Angelus move into to her, his fangs poised for the take. Her sweet voice occupied his mind again. 'Liam, Liam you've come back to me.' Angel watched, powerless, as Angelus plunged his teeth into her young neck, drain her essence. He tried to shout out but his voice was gone and a husky whisper came out instead, but it was too late. Then she was gone and his father was back. 'You don't deserve a second chance after all you have done. Cathy doesn't get another chance.' Angel felt the whirlpool shift and he felt the hard, cold stone floor of the mansion under his shivering body. He woke up with a start, taking a few minutes to realise that he was in his bed in LA.
Cordelia heard Angel walk away, despite his extra care not to make any noise. Then she heard it; the
tormented cries as he twisted in his own horrors. She lent on the door frame, watching as he cocooned himself in the beds white cotton sheets. His knuckles turned white as they gripped in hope that the sheets could bring him back from the brink. Cordelia watched unable to do anything. She longed to sit on the bed beside him and stroke his hair, calming what ever nightmare he was fighting and bring him back to the peace she had seem when she was in his lap. But it wasn't her place, it wasn't her job to comfort him and love him in the way he deserved to be loved. That job belonged to Buffy, no matter how she didn't want him, Angel would never let her go. Cordelia held back the urge and sniffed back the tears that had began to fall in her sadness. Instead she simply turned away and padded into the reception area. She sat down at her desk, pulled out her black journal and began to write in ernest.
Angel dragged him from his sweaty bed and his way back through to his lounge. When he found the couch empty this heart sank, but he spotted that Cordelias shoes were still sitting next to the door. He wandered through to the reception and found Cordelia slumped over her desk sleeping, all peaceful again. He spotted that she was lying on a black book. Curiosity got the better of the Vampire and he gently lifted Cordelias arms off it. He glanced at the front cover and found the words. 'My Journal; Cordelia Chase.' He smile inwardly at the butterflies that graced the front and the little smiles drawing in Tipex. When he opened it up and looked at the inside cover he was surprise to find picture of the Scooby gang. There was a picture of her and Xander together, below that was a picture of them all taken by Giles no doubt. They were all dressed in their prom outfits. He glanced briefly at Buffy and remember that night fondly. He then flicked to the last diary entry and began to read.
Hello there,
Sorry I haven't wrote for a while but it has been one hell of a week. Firstly Angel sacked us. Can you believe it. I'm Vision Girl, nobody sacks me. So I went down to the weapons room to tell him this and he pushed me aside. He pushed me to the floor with a crack, he didn't even look back when I cried out in pain. Anyway I went to the hospital and they found out that I had three broken ribs. I couldn't believe, my best friend had broken three of my ribs. They also found the fracture jaw Faith gave me, 'Cos when I fell I bumped my head. The day just got better, Faith the psycho Slayer broke my jaw. These supernatural people really need to get a grip. I came back to the hotel today just to tell him how much he needed help and if I didn't get through to him I was gonna call Buffy and let her kick uglies out of him. I don't know. So here I am, in the hotel after going home and getting a phone call from the soulful wonder boy asking to talk. I must be the only person in the world that gets up at 4am to listen to their boss open up. Things ya do for love eh. So we kinda got the thing with Darla sorted so he's gonna stake her. I hope. I have just come from his room. He's having nightmares again, he thinks that I don't know about them but I sense everytime he get one. I watched him as he tossed and turned in his sleep. The sheets that had twisted around him stopped him from smashing anything. I couldn't do anything to help his and it hurts. I wanted to sit on the bed and whisper comfort in his ear, I wanted to hold him and let him see how much I love him. But how can I when I have to match up Little-Miss-Likes-To-Fight? He has this big sign and post saying 'PRIVATE PROPERTY: BELONGS TO BUFFY SUMMERS.' It's amazing, she's in Sunnydale with Love-Handles Boy yet he's lying in his bed tormented by dreams and nobody is with him. God I wish Buffy didn't exist. Opps..I tried that and the world was kinda twisted and Angel died. Some master snapped his neck and his was...dead. No I just wish...I just wished he loved me, but I don't believe in wishful thinking. I nearly got Buffy here but then I realised that she would only drive him back into that pitiful excuse for a brooding session he has when she comes here. Maybe I am the only one who can bring him back form the edge if he will just let me in. I know he only thinks of me as his seer and he sees the annoying spoilt brat that I am but not and only you see this. So I live one more day in hope and with a heart breaking in two but I cope and as Dolye would say 'No matter what ya do Princess, It never turns out how ya expect it to eh.'
Night
C.
Angel sighed and closed the book. Cordelia woke up slowly as her chest ached from the way she had been sleeping to find Angel standing before her, holding on to her journal.
"What are you doing with my journal?" Angel stood nervously in front of her. "Angel answer me. What are you doing with my diary?"
I was...um...it fell on the floor."
Anger flashed by Cordelias eyes. "You read my diary?" Angel nodded slightly "YOU READ MY DIARY! Angel
how could you? You know how I am about it." Angel lowered his head in shame. "What did you read?" Cordelia shouted at him.
"I read the last entry. But don't go getting all pissed at me, why didn't you tell me that Faith
fractured your jaw? I might have understood a bit better why you took a paid vacation and went nuts over her staying in the apartment."
"You wouldn't have taken any notice anyway. You were so hell bent on saving her you didn't care about how me or Wesley felt. She was quite ready to torture Wesley to death but you still took her under your wing. Even though those stupid Council people could have killed you, you still tried to save a psychopath. I guess I was kinda being selfish."
Angel took her hand and lead her over to the clients couch. "I read everything Cordelia. God, how blind have I been?" Cordelia turned away from him sheepishly only to have Angel bring her face back round to him. "You were always there when I complained about anything and everything. When I brooded, I brooded to you then let you drag me out to some LA club and have me 'socialise' for when I become human. You were always there and me being the blind Vampire I am didn't see any of it. You put up with a lot of crap for me don't you?" Cordelia simply struggled. "I'm sorry. I don't brood over Buffy anymore. She took me in no uncertain terms were me and her ever getting back together now that she has the commando guy and I accepted that. I want you to know...I feel the same you know. When I watched you getting into the car last night, I felt my heart break knowing that the woman I loved was in pain because of me."
Cordelia fixed her eyes on him as he said the words. She couldn't believe what she was hearing, ANGEL loved HER, not Buffy, not Darla, her. Her heart leapt for joy and she smiled. "I can't believe you've just said that." The Vampires face turned to confusion. "I can't believe you just said that you loved me. Do you know how long I have wanted to hear you say that, how much I wished. Oh you read that bit too huh. I'm sorry but it was what I was feeling, you were never meant to see it. Did you read the bit about when you were in bed and I was watching you?"
Angel nodded his head. "You know you should of came in and stroked my hair. I can't believe we've both been so stupid."
Angel drew Cordelia into his figure, making sure she didn't hurt herself. "You do realise that Darla is going to
come after the people I cared and love."
Cordelia looked worryingly into his eyes. "We better phone Giles, to warn him that Darla might be making an unwanted visit to everybody's favourite Slayer."
"Don't you understand, it's not Buffy I love anymore, it's you. She'll sense it. I'll protect you this
time, against Wolfram and Hart. " Angel pulled her futher into him. He looked at the grey rims forming under
her eyes and instructed her to sleep.
Over The Other Side Of LA:
----------------------------------------
Drucillia stood in the middle of the vast living room, swirling around on the marble floor. She stopped suddenly and smiled sadistically to herself.
"Mummy, mummy." Drucillia shouted.
An annoyed looking Darla stormed into the room. "What is it now Dru?"
"the stars are talking to me, they're talking about daddy." Darlas head flew up at the mention of
Angelus. "He's in love again."
Darla let out an almighty scream that bounced around the room. "Not that blonde trash, the Slayer again. God you think the curse would have been enough to push him away from her.
"No mummy, it's not the Slayer, the new one is a brunette. She's his seer but wait, he hurt her and
she has doubts. She's part of a much bigger plan."
Darla smiled and let out a cackle. "Maybe there's hope for Angelus yet!"
In The Hotel:
------------------
Cordelia tip-toed from the bed Angel had put her in. Her head and her ribs were killing her. She padded softly down the old marble stairs and into the reception. A vision struck her as she reached for the pill bottle sitting on the desk.
"Angel, Angel, ANGEL! Help me." She groped for the desk again but instead fell. Angel appeared in time as her body hit the floor. He wipe the hair from her face and sighed in relief as she came out of it, with a terrified look on her face.
"Angel, Darla is on her way, she coming here."
A dainty knock at the door drew Angels attention away from Cordelia. Cordelia stood up and went to open the heavy wooden door. She stood agape from the door and turned to Angel. He picked himself off the floor to see what had frightened her. He protectively slipped in front of Cordelia as Darla paled face came into view.
"Hello Angelus, nice to see you and..." She turned her nose up at Cordelia. Darla steeped forward trying to get into the hotel but was stopped as the field around the door repelled her.
"Now be a sweet seer and let me in." Darla stood back as Drucillia flank in front of her.
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Tell me what you think yada yada yada. I'm sorry but it's 1:30 in the morning and this is the third time I have
sat and wrote this after my floppy and hard drive kept losing parts of it. Diagnosis: a virus!
Part two already started and yes it's another romance thing. I am trying to write a friendship on but it ain't
working.
OK I tried to fit this all in one page but Opps.. I didn't! it's in two parts now and there is a plot and proper
ending to this one.
Disclaimer: the characters in 'Angel the TV series' don't belong to me neither does anyone in 'Buffy the
Vampire Slayer' They belong to Joss, David and all those rich MD's at WB, Fox and Mutant (Grr, Arr) Enemy
Inc.
Can you please review this because I wasn't sure how Angel fans will take this! Plus I also want to know what you think of my description of Angels Hell. Also I have just seen 'Superstar.' and I have renamed Captain Cardboard, Love Handles Boy, Cos in one scene did he had Love Handles, I really think Rileys got Love Handles.
*********************************************************************************************************************************
Cordelia stood in front of Angel, her hands on her hips. He turned to look at her. They were now alone after Wesley and Gunn had stormed out in anger over Angels action of sacking them. Cordelia had stayed behind knowing that only she could talk some sense into Angel. She found him down in his weapons room.
"Angel are you down here?" Cordelia shouted as she made her way down the spiral staircase.
"Cordelia go home. I don't want you here. I've fired you now leave." Angel growled picking up the wide handled broadsword beside him. He began slowly swiping it in the air. His focus changed from Cordelia to the movements the sword made through the air, breathing in the musky smell the sword disturbed. He heard a shuffling behind him. "Are you still here? I told you to go."
"And what? Let you brood here all by yourself. I'm your seer, you can't sack me, only I can sack me. Don't you care what happens to us? Stop swinging the fucking sword in the air will you?" She shouted at the distant shadow standing before her. "ANGEL!" she shouted again, the old Queen C resurfacing.
Angel went to walk away from her but she stepped expertly in his way.
"Cordelia get out of my way."
He went to walk forward again but she stood firm to her spot. Angel turned away before letting his game face show through. His anger built up to the point of exploding. His game face still on he dropped the sword, clattering to the ground and pushed Cordelia out of the way. Cordelia wasn't ready for the force he used and stumbled to the side. She crashed to the stone floor of the basement with a crack and groaned as she watched Angel stride through the open door in front of him. He never looked back to see Cordelia cry out in pain as she tried to pick herself off the floor. She stumbled up the stairs clutching at her side, wincing in pain every time she took a breath.
Later That Night:
"Ahh Miss Chase, looks like you've been in the wars. I've got your X-rays back and I'm sorry to say you have three broken ribs and some sever tissue damage." Cordelia looked up at her doctor in concern. "Oh a few big bruises. How did you do it? Your X-ray shows you've had a few bumps and knocks in your time but there are none on your medical records."
"Broken ribs! The knocks and bumps are from my line of work. I'm a...a stunt double in the industry."
The doctor looked at her doubtingly. "Right, we'll just strap you up for support and here take these everytime the pain gets too much." The doctor handed her a bottle of painkillers. "You should be OK in a week or so, just don't go doing any dangerous stunts or anything much really."
Cordelia walked out of the hospital into the chilly night air. She stood outside her car and stared in disbelief. 'Angel has given me broken ribs! Angel actually hurt me.' She thought to herself before awkwardly climbing into her car and driving home.
Two Nights Later:
Cordelia took a deep breath, taking the night air in front of the new AI base. The hotel stood out as Cordelia looked through the open door into the reception area. She took a few tentative steps into the entrance and jumped at the clicking sounds of her own heels on the mosaic floor.
Angel felt his senses heighten as the familiar presence entered the hotel. It wasn't a Vampire since the deeds were in Cordelias name, unbeknown to her, so no Vampires could just walk on in. He stood up and walked towards the reception. He stared, for a second, at the tall brunette looked anxiously around the airy building.
"I thought I told you to stay away. What do you want."
"Way to welcome your seer Angel." She looked at his face for a slight smile. "OK sarcasm didn't work lets try tact-less. You suck." She looked the Vampire surprised face. "No I mean it Angel. You suck because you tell me how much you want this Shansu thing and how it would mean you could go back to Buffy. You want all this so badly yet your losing it. Everything you've, we've, worked for. You told me, when the weird lady in my apartment tried to kill me, that I was stronger person than what she was saying I was. Your stronger than to let Darla take you back over to the dark side. I won't let it happen." She looked at Angel for any sign she was getting through.
"Cordelia, sit down I want to explain then you will leave and never come back." He watched as
Cordelia lifted his double bladed axe from the chair.
Cordelia winced in pain before dropping the axe to the carpet with a soft thud. Angel heard the short gasp she took in and turned around to see her struggle with the axe, while trying to hold her side. He rushed to catch the axe but missed, trying to catch Cordelia instead.
"Cordelia what's wrong with you?" He asked sympathetically, a look of hurt in his eyes.
"Oh nothing, I thought you didn't care about us anyway. Now are you going to hire us back?" Cordelia said just above a whisper.
"Cordelia don't change the subject. Who, what did this to you? I find him and...Was it a demon?"
Cordelia placed her hand to her side as another wave of agony struck her. "No it wasn't a demon."
Angels face turned to slight realisation. "Somebody human? Did a boyfriend hit you?"
"No do you think I would let that happen, I would kick his ass."
"Then who?" Annoyance present on his face.
Cordelia looked away, hiding the pain that was in her heart and her side. "You. You did this to me." She said in a husky whisper.
Angel sharply withdrew from her side his face full of confusion. "What do you mean that I did this to you?" His voice now full of pain.
"When I came down to the weapons room and you tried to leave and I wouldn't let you. You went all grr and just pushed me out of the way. The doctor said that the bruises should be gone in a week but the three broken ribs will take about six weeks to heal then I will have to go in for all these check-ups." Cordelia uttered, her face turning away from Angel who was now sitting over the other side of the sofa. She saw the self hate and loathing in his eyes at what he had done, it cut her to the bone. "It's OK. I don't blame you. I should never have got in your way. It was my fault, I don't own your life, I have to learn that but I want to help save it. Talk to me, I don't care what about, just talk to me.
"Why? What good has talking ever done me? I tried to talk to Buffy but she hates me even more
now. I tried to talk to Darla, tried to make her see that having a soul was a good thing. She wouldn't listen to me, till Dru turned her again. See talking solves nothing."
Cordelia walked towards Angel her hands held put in openness. She painfully took his hands in her and placed them palm down on hers. "Feel that?!"
Angel felt his mind swirl into nothingness as the pulse and warmth he had craved from Cordelia and for himself surged through his ice-cold hands.
"That is life Angel, something I wouldn't have if it wasn't for you. You see, being able to talk to you
without judgement and pressure meant that when the going got tough I didn't go jump of an office block.
When Doyle died you sat and listened to me talk and talk about nothing. You didn't go away and brood in your grief. Instead you talked me through mine. Trust me, when we lost Doyle I felt off the top of an office block was the best way to go.
Angel looked at her, his hands still on her. "I think you better go, I'll call you."
He watched Cordelia leave and his heart heaved. He had hurt the woman he loved. 'How could I ever hurt the woman that I love more than anything in this world? What's happening to me? First Buffy now Cordelia.' He silently thought to himself walking over to the large Victorian window, that dominated the room, and stared into the blackening night. Angel watched in pain as Cordelia climbed awkwardly into her second hand convertible.
Cordelia dropped her mini-back pack on to the passenger seat and slid herself cross the drivers side, gripping the steering wheel in pain. A shooting pain spread across her chest making her breathe in short, laboured bursts. Her head began to swirl as the images in front of her blurred. Cordelia groped around on the seat next to her searching for her bag. She rummaged inside until she felt the cool smoothness of the pill bottle. In a struggle to find the strength to twist the child-safe lid without causing herself anymore pain, she gripped the bottle hard in her hand. She had no success as another wave of pain hit her hard. Cordelia frantically spilt the contents into her hand and counted out two painkillers. She washed them slowly down with the bottle of luke-warm water for her glove box, aware she was being watched.
Angel felt the guilt and the pain surge into his heart as he watched Cordelia struggle in pain, pain he had
caused. He wanted to go to help her find the bottle she was scrambling on the seat, to pass her the water, just to say sorry. He hadn't even said sorry to her, he let her go on blaming herself. He watched her intensely until he saw her lift her head and look straight at him. Angel stepped back, blending into the shadows, where he belonged.
Cordelia arrived back at her apartment and slipped through the door hoping not to disturb Dennis. She headed straight for her room. Cordelia stood in front of the mirror as she pulled off her Angora sweater to reveal her bruises and tightly bandaged chest. Her fingers lightly brushed over the now yellowing bruise and her mind flashed to when Angel had pushed her and the tears rolled down her cheek. `I can't believe he did this to me. The Angel I know wouldn't do this, Angelus would! God what if he's started to lose his grip on his demon, he did let all those people die. All be it, Wolfram and Hart, but they were still human. No Angelus would have took pleasure in tormenting me about my bad acting again. What if he's given up again like just before we found out her was gonna be human? Oh I give up I need to sleep, I have the CAT scan tomorrow. Fun!` Cordelia let out an exaggerated sigh before pulling on her tank top and shorts carefully over her tightly bandaged ribs and climbed into bed.
Cordelia tenderly turned over as the shrill sound of a ringing phoned filtered into her dreams. She winced as her ribs pressed lightly into the bed.
"Hello."
Angel sighed as her groggy voice filled his head. "Hello, Cordelia, It's me. I was wondering if we can have a talk...now."
Cordelia flashed a look at her bedside clock. "God Angel, it's 4 o'clock in the damn morning. Why now?"
"I'm on Vampire hours don't forget. I'll meet you in 30 minutes in Jesse's."
Cordelia put the receiver back on it's cradle on climbed back out of bed. She shivered in the coolness of the apartment and pulled on a pair of jogger and a over-sized fleece. Cordelia eased herself back into her car and took off for Jesse's Cafe. When she pulled up she could see him siting, looking out of place among the insomniacs of LA.
"Hiya." She slide into the chair beside him. "Why do you have to pick 4 o'clock in the morning to
finally open up? Never mind what do you want to talk about?"
"I was thinking about Darla." Cordelia put her hand up in front of his face and she swallowed back a gulp of Angels coffee.
"We're not gonna do the 'I loved human Darla and I can't kill her!' speech again are we? 'Cos I've been doing some thinking of my own. I came to a sort of conclusion of about this whole obsession with Darla. You see it goes like this. You fell in love with Darla when you were first turned because she understood you when everyone else feared you. You relied on her, you admired her because she taught Angelus all he knew. Then you went through all the time in Europe alone, with a soul and the only thing that kept you going was your admiration and Love of Darla. That was until you met Buffy. She showed you the innocent and pure love you deserved and you were able to move on from Darla because Buffy was there to catch you when you fell. Buffy accepted you for what you were with a soul but the Angelus issue was a mystery to her. That is why, back then, you had the strength to stake Darla when Buffy asked you too. Then you left Buffy and there was nothing for you. Trust me I know that feeling. That is why you brooded and wallowed in self pity." She noticed Angels pouting look. "What? Don't tell me you didn't wallow, 'Cos I dragged you out of wallowing so many times. Anyway, you brooded about Buffy and about the eternal torment of tortured souls. Then BOOM!! Wolfram and Hart bring back Darla and she's human. All your Christmases came at once because you had your precious Darla back and suddenly it didn't seem like such a bad life after all. But when Dru turned her back you felt you could still save her, that she still had a soul. Now you have nothing but the obsession again. Angel you have to get it into the think, ageless brain of yours that she is a Vampire through and through. She has no soul, she can't be saved and the only thing she wants is Angelus. I'm not going to let that happen, granted I can't fight, not like this but I can try my damn best to help you, Angel, to hang on to what is left of the Angel I knew and loved. You got me?"
Angel could do little but nod as his seer relayed his very thoughts back to him. "You never cease to amaze me, Cordelia, you are the only person who can actually tell what I'm thinking. You are only person I know who can separate me from Angelus, even though we both live in the same body. Thank-you. Now you're coming back to the hotel so I can take care of you, after all this is all my fault."
Cordelia simply nodded, think of no other place she would rather be, with Angel taking care of her.
Early Morning At The Hotel:
Cordelia sat happily on Angels lap, a cup of coffee in her hand as she listened to the birds chorus starting up in the world of the light having survived the darkness once again. Angel stirred beneath her as Cordelia pretended to fall back asleep, taking one last glance at his peaceful face. It was a face she had eched in her mind, a face she had grown to love deeply, a face of an angel. She closed her eyes and let out a happy, contented sigh.
Angel felt her small frame shift over his, making herself comfortable again. He slowly peeled her form off of
his and stood looking over her. He had never seen her looking so peaceful, as if their world of demons and
things of the night didn't exist. She was in her own utopia when she slept. Angel walked, silently, through the hotel to his room. He felt his body call out for sleep as the daylights signal told him, it was his time to sleep. He lay down on the cotton sheets and waited. After 10 minutes of sleep they came, the nightmares came again. They were worse than nightmares, they were memories. His memories of hell came flooding back into his mind, the darkness beckoning him back. He heard the demons tormenting him, slashing at his body. He watched as the wounds instantly healed and the demons became again, the pain collapsing his every hope of escape. The demons haunted him with insults and abuse of his soul. Then the faces began. The faces of all the people he had killed flashed before his eyes. Each one crying out in pain, pain he had caused and still did. The faces created a ring around him and his soul cried out in agony as the grief and suffering got too much for him. The faces slowly faded into the darkness and left him a swirling vortex. Angel felt his body being pulled back into land of the living, a world where he no longer had no place. He heard his fathers voice scolding him on how disappointed he was in him. 'You are nothing to me anymore. You were never anything. Look at what you did.' His father was joined by his mother and his sister. 'Look at what you did to them.' Cathys pale face filled his thoughts. 'Such a pale face, a shadow of her bonny face. You did this, how could you?' Cathys face filled his view once more only now it was full of life and the colour filled her cheeks like the sun. He watched helplessly as he saw Angelus move into to her, his fangs poised for the take. Her sweet voice occupied his mind again. 'Liam, Liam you've come back to me.' Angel watched, powerless, as Angelus plunged his teeth into her young neck, drain her essence. He tried to shout out but his voice was gone and a husky whisper came out instead, but it was too late. Then she was gone and his father was back. 'You don't deserve a second chance after all you have done. Cathy doesn't get another chance.' Angel felt the whirlpool shift and he felt the hard, cold stone floor of the mansion under his shivering body. He woke up with a start, taking a few minutes to realise that he was in his bed in LA.
Cordelia heard Angel walk away, despite his extra care not to make any noise. Then she heard it; the
tormented cries as he twisted in his own horrors. She lent on the door frame, watching as he cocooned himself in the beds white cotton sheets. His knuckles turned white as they gripped in hope that the sheets could bring him back from the brink. Cordelia watched unable to do anything. She longed to sit on the bed beside him and stroke his hair, calming what ever nightmare he was fighting and bring him back to the peace she had seem when she was in his lap. But it wasn't her place, it wasn't her job to comfort him and love him in the way he deserved to be loved. That job belonged to Buffy, no matter how she didn't want him, Angel would never let her go. Cordelia held back the urge and sniffed back the tears that had began to fall in her sadness. Instead she simply turned away and padded into the reception area. She sat down at her desk, pulled out her black journal and began to write in ernest.
Angel dragged him from his sweaty bed and his way back through to his lounge. When he found the couch empty this heart sank, but he spotted that Cordelias shoes were still sitting next to the door. He wandered through to the reception and found Cordelia slumped over her desk sleeping, all peaceful again. He spotted that she was lying on a black book. Curiosity got the better of the Vampire and he gently lifted Cordelias arms off it. He glanced at the front cover and found the words. 'My Journal; Cordelia Chase.' He smile inwardly at the butterflies that graced the front and the little smiles drawing in Tipex. When he opened it up and looked at the inside cover he was surprise to find picture of the Scooby gang. There was a picture of her and Xander together, below that was a picture of them all taken by Giles no doubt. They were all dressed in their prom outfits. He glanced briefly at Buffy and remember that night fondly. He then flicked to the last diary entry and began to read.
Hello there,
Sorry I haven't wrote for a while but it has been one hell of a week. Firstly Angel sacked us. Can you believe it. I'm Vision Girl, nobody sacks me. So I went down to the weapons room to tell him this and he pushed me aside. He pushed me to the floor with a crack, he didn't even look back when I cried out in pain. Anyway I went to the hospital and they found out that I had three broken ribs. I couldn't believe, my best friend had broken three of my ribs. They also found the fracture jaw Faith gave me, 'Cos when I fell I bumped my head. The day just got better, Faith the psycho Slayer broke my jaw. These supernatural people really need to get a grip. I came back to the hotel today just to tell him how much he needed help and if I didn't get through to him I was gonna call Buffy and let her kick uglies out of him. I don't know. So here I am, in the hotel after going home and getting a phone call from the soulful wonder boy asking to talk. I must be the only person in the world that gets up at 4am to listen to their boss open up. Things ya do for love eh. So we kinda got the thing with Darla sorted so he's gonna stake her. I hope. I have just come from his room. He's having nightmares again, he thinks that I don't know about them but I sense everytime he get one. I watched him as he tossed and turned in his sleep. The sheets that had twisted around him stopped him from smashing anything. I couldn't do anything to help his and it hurts. I wanted to sit on the bed and whisper comfort in his ear, I wanted to hold him and let him see how much I love him. But how can I when I have to match up Little-Miss-Likes-To-Fight? He has this big sign and post saying 'PRIVATE PROPERTY: BELONGS TO BUFFY SUMMERS.' It's amazing, she's in Sunnydale with Love-Handles Boy yet he's lying in his bed tormented by dreams and nobody is with him. God I wish Buffy didn't exist. Opps..I tried that and the world was kinda twisted and Angel died. Some master snapped his neck and his was...dead. No I just wish...I just wished he loved me, but I don't believe in wishful thinking. I nearly got Buffy here but then I realised that she would only drive him back into that pitiful excuse for a brooding session he has when she comes here. Maybe I am the only one who can bring him back form the edge if he will just let me in. I know he only thinks of me as his seer and he sees the annoying spoilt brat that I am but not and only you see this. So I live one more day in hope and with a heart breaking in two but I cope and as Dolye would say 'No matter what ya do Princess, It never turns out how ya expect it to eh.'
Night
C.
Angel sighed and closed the book. Cordelia woke up slowly as her chest ached from the way she had been sleeping to find Angel standing before her, holding on to her journal.
"What are you doing with my journal?" Angel stood nervously in front of her. "Angel answer me. What are you doing with my diary?"
I was...um...it fell on the floor."
Anger flashed by Cordelias eyes. "You read my diary?" Angel nodded slightly "YOU READ MY DIARY! Angel
how could you? You know how I am about it." Angel lowered his head in shame. "What did you read?" Cordelia shouted at him.
"I read the last entry. But don't go getting all pissed at me, why didn't you tell me that Faith
fractured your jaw? I might have understood a bit better why you took a paid vacation and went nuts over her staying in the apartment."
"You wouldn't have taken any notice anyway. You were so hell bent on saving her you didn't care about how me or Wesley felt. She was quite ready to torture Wesley to death but you still took her under your wing. Even though those stupid Council people could have killed you, you still tried to save a psychopath. I guess I was kinda being selfish."
Angel took her hand and lead her over to the clients couch. "I read everything Cordelia. God, how blind have I been?" Cordelia turned away from him sheepishly only to have Angel bring her face back round to him. "You were always there when I complained about anything and everything. When I brooded, I brooded to you then let you drag me out to some LA club and have me 'socialise' for when I become human. You were always there and me being the blind Vampire I am didn't see any of it. You put up with a lot of crap for me don't you?" Cordelia simply struggled. "I'm sorry. I don't brood over Buffy anymore. She took me in no uncertain terms were me and her ever getting back together now that she has the commando guy and I accepted that. I want you to know...I feel the same you know. When I watched you getting into the car last night, I felt my heart break knowing that the woman I loved was in pain because of me."
Cordelia fixed her eyes on him as he said the words. She couldn't believe what she was hearing, ANGEL loved HER, not Buffy, not Darla, her. Her heart leapt for joy and she smiled. "I can't believe you've just said that." The Vampires face turned to confusion. "I can't believe you just said that you loved me. Do you know how long I have wanted to hear you say that, how much I wished. Oh you read that bit too huh. I'm sorry but it was what I was feeling, you were never meant to see it. Did you read the bit about when you were in bed and I was watching you?"
Angel nodded his head. "You know you should of came in and stroked my hair. I can't believe we've both been so stupid."
Angel drew Cordelia into his figure, making sure she didn't hurt herself. "You do realise that Darla is going to
come after the people I cared and love."
Cordelia looked worryingly into his eyes. "We better phone Giles, to warn him that Darla might be making an unwanted visit to everybody's favourite Slayer."
"Don't you understand, it's not Buffy I love anymore, it's you. She'll sense it. I'll protect you this
time, against Wolfram and Hart. " Angel pulled her futher into him. He looked at the grey rims forming under
her eyes and instructed her to sleep.
Over The Other Side Of LA:
----------------------------------------
Drucillia stood in the middle of the vast living room, swirling around on the marble floor. She stopped suddenly and smiled sadistically to herself.
"Mummy, mummy." Drucillia shouted.
An annoyed looking Darla stormed into the room. "What is it now Dru?"
"the stars are talking to me, they're talking about daddy." Darlas head flew up at the mention of
Angelus. "He's in love again."
Darla let out an almighty scream that bounced around the room. "Not that blonde trash, the Slayer again. God you think the curse would have been enough to push him away from her.
"No mummy, it's not the Slayer, the new one is a brunette. She's his seer but wait, he hurt her and
she has doubts. She's part of a much bigger plan."
Darla smiled and let out a cackle. "Maybe there's hope for Angelus yet!"
In The Hotel:
------------------
Cordelia tip-toed from the bed Angel had put her in. Her head and her ribs were killing her. She padded softly down the old marble stairs and into the reception. A vision struck her as she reached for the pill bottle sitting on the desk.
"Angel, Angel, ANGEL! Help me." She groped for the desk again but instead fell. Angel appeared in time as her body hit the floor. He wipe the hair from her face and sighed in relief as she came out of it, with a terrified look on her face.
"Angel, Darla is on her way, she coming here."
A dainty knock at the door drew Angels attention away from Cordelia. Cordelia stood up and went to open the heavy wooden door. She stood agape from the door and turned to Angel. He picked himself off the floor to see what had frightened her. He protectively slipped in front of Cordelia as Darla paled face came into view.
"Hello Angelus, nice to see you and..." She turned her nose up at Cordelia. Darla steeped forward trying to get into the hotel but was stopped as the field around the door repelled her.
"Now be a sweet seer and let me in." Darla stood back as Drucillia flank in front of her.
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Tell me what you think yada yada yada. I'm sorry but it's 1:30 in the morning and this is the third time I have
sat and wrote this after my floppy and hard drive kept losing parts of it. Diagnosis: a virus!
Part two already started and yes it's another romance thing. I am trying to write a friendship on but it ain't
working.