I Secretly Love You
Chapter 1: The Beginning of Senior Year
AN: Ok, so I know I have my other story, and I'm not gonna ignore it or anything, but I just had to write this. It just came to me, and I had to write it.
Sorry to the Finchel fans, but this is a fanfic about Faberry. If you don't like Faberry, I'm sorry, but you could give it a shot, maybe?
I watched as she walked towards me. I sighed. Today she wore a navy blue dress and she looked gorgeous, as usual. "Hey Quinn," she greeted me, smiling beautifully. Oh, there's my heart, beating crazily. I smiled back, probably not as prettily though, "Hi Rachel. What's up?" She giggled. "Why, the sky of course." I rolled my eyes, laughing along with her. I was so glad Rachel had forgiven me and we'd become friends at the end of last year. Now it was senior year, our last year together. "I just came to ask you if you wanted to hang out together during lunch," she paused before rushing on, "If you have other plans with Brittany and Santana I understand don't worr-"
"Rach," I interrupted her adorable rambling, "I'd love to." She smiled her amazing smile once more, making my knees go weak. I leaned against my locker as she practically attacked me, hugging me tightly, saying three words that made my heart soar, "Its a date." I put my head in her hair, inhaling the delicious scent. I hugged her back, feeling the warmth of her body while I thought about how much I wished the 'date' was a real one. She pulled back, ending the hug. Damn it.
She was still smiling at me. She opened her mouth to say something else, when she saw something behind me and her face fell immediately. I quickly turned, seeing none other than Finn Hudson. "Hey Finn," she whispered as he passed. He nodded in her direction, not looking up or meeting her gaze. She turned back to me. "So he hasn't accepted the break up?" I asked. Last year, when we went to Nationals in New York, Finn kissed Rachel during our first number. That cost us Nationals, but I was kinda glad. Jesse saw the kiss, so he broke up with Rachel. And Finn got happy because that meant Rachel was single, but she wasted no time telling him that she didn't want to be with him. So while Santana freaked out and everyone was upset, I grumbled along with them, but inside my heart was jumping and going crazy. Rachel is still single, so that's good news.
"No," she sighed, "You recall that after the kiss he was so excited and happy and he was shouting that it was the Superman of all kisses?" I nodded, unfortunately, I did remember that. "Well, it was worse when i told him I was planning on staying single."
"Single and ready to mingle," I joked, smiling. But it got her to smile back, so... "Yeah. Anyways, I've tried to be his friend, but he still hasn't accepted it. I swear, he only wants to be with me when he can't have me." I thought about it. "Well just give him some space. Give him time to realize how stupid he was to let you go in the first place." Oh shit. I just realized he left her for me. Of course he later left me for her, but that wasn't the point. I looked at her, studying her reaction. "Quinn, its ok. Last year was just terrible. Let's just forget it, put it behind us, and move on."
"Ok-, " the bell chose that exact moment to ring. That bell hates me. What did I ever do to it? Rachel smiled at me once more. "So I will see you later in 3rd period, then lunch." I watched her retreating figure, wishing that my first two periods would go by quickly.
Of course, when I want time to go by quickly, it does the opposite. And probably just to annoy me. I was sitting at my desk , alternately glancing at the teacher, the other students, the door, and the clock. It was second period, but time was still going too slow for my taste. Finally the bell rang, ending my internal panic attack. I rushed to the door, towards the choir room for my favorite period: glee. I slowed when I neared the door, peeking inside to see only one person inside. I walked in, head held high, hands on hips. I sat down by Rachel, my favorite person ever. "Hi Quinn." I loved the way she said my name. Coming from her mouth, it sounded so special. "Hey Rach." She beamed, hearing her nickname. We sat in comfortable silence, me occasionally sneaking looks at her. She didn't seem to notice, except once she was looking at me. We grinned in embarrassment that we'd been caught by the other. Before either of us could say or do anything else, the other gleeks streamed into the room, all talking loudly and laughing as they took their seats. Mr. Schue came in right before the tardy bell rang and sat down on the piano bench.
"Ok guys, welcome back! I know for some of you this is your senior year, so lets make it the best and really work hard to win Nationals." His words were met by loud applause and shouts of agreement. "Ok. So we still have a few months until Sectionals in November since its only September." He stood up, walking to the white board. He grabbed a black dry erase marker and wrote DUETS. "This week, I think we will do duets!" The room fell silent. Usually, the duets were followed by much drama. I exchanged a look with Sam, but we are kinda friends now so it wasn't as awkward as you'd think. I turned to Rachel and saw she was still looking at Finn. That was a long look. Come on, Rach, ignore the giant, pay attention to ME. "To push you guys to do your best, I'm turning it into a competition. Whoever wins will get a free dinner at Breadstix!"
"Whoo! Yeah!" Now everyone was excited, I mean, who doesn't love all you can eat breadsticks? "But," Mr. Shue continued, immediately ending all the talk and cheers, "You won't get to choose your partners." Shit, I totally saw this coming. Of course I wouldn't get to choose, I'd choose Rachel, and she's never done a duet with anyone other than Finn and Jesse, the two biggest douchebags.
I snapped myself out of my thoughts to hear what else Mr. Schue was saying. "So you guys have probably noticed the hat I'm wearing today..." no, actually I hadn't. And apparently, by all the other denying murmurs, no one else had. "Ok. Maybe not. Anyways, I'm going to put all your names in here, and each of you will come up and pick the name of your duet partner." He left to go get our names from his office. I realized that the brunette sitting beside me had been strangely quiet. I turned to her. I whispered, not wanting to disrupt her train of thoughts or anything, "Hey, you okay?" It took her a while before she turned to me, giving me a small smile. "Yes, I'm alright. Thank you for asking." I knew there was something else going on, so I looked at her, waiting. She sighed, realizing that I knew. "Ok. It's just that I was excited when I'd heard duets. But I was saddened when I heard that we wouldn't be picking our partners because there is someone I really wanted to sing with." Oh. Oh. "Yeah there was someone I wanted to sing with too. I guess we won't be able to sing with them now." Her face fell slightly, but when Mr. Schue returned and shook the pieces of paper around in the hat, she leaned over and I could feel her warm breath on my ear. "Maybe we'll still get the people we want." She straightened up, leaving me slightly breathless as I thought how close her full lips had been to my neck and face.
"Ok, whoever wants to go first can come up. Everyone else can follow." Everyone looked at each other, waiting for someone to lead, so everyone else could follow. Rachel, the natural leader that she is, sighed as she stood up and walked towards the hat and Mr. Schue. "Thanks Rachel," he said loudly, making everyone feel bad. "Yeah, you go midget," Santana yelled. Rachel blushed at that. Why would she blush? As she reached into the hat, I swear time slowed down. Please be my name, please be my name, I silently chanted, crossing my fingers tightly. She pulled back her small hand, and unfolded the paper. She read it to herself, and after an eternity of waiting, she turned and announced, "Santana. It is Santana." Damn it. Damn it, damn it, damn it. Why couldn't you have done me this one favor, God? I don't ask for much. Well, maybe I do. But that's not the point. I turned to see Santana's reaction. She shrugged, pretending to be indifferent. But I knew she liked this arrangement. What was she planning now? I have to ask her about it later, I thought as I stood up and walked to the hat, passing Rachel as she walked back to her seat. She didn't look particularly happy, nor did she seem upset. I reached the hat. Ok Quinn, just do it. Just get it over with. My hand went in slowly, picking the paper on top. I unfolded it with trembling fingers, and read the name. "Tina." Hey, at least it's not one of my exes, that's good news. I smiled at Tina and sat down as she returned the smile. The rest of the glee clubbers followed, choosing their slips of paper and reading. It was Mercedes and Sam, Mike and Puck, Finn and Kurt, Blaine and Sugar, and Joe and Brittany. Everyone seemed alright with their duet partners, especially Britt. "Hey Teen Jesus, I'm so excited to be singing with you." She proceeded to play with his hair. "Righteous," he replied, smiling at her.
"Ok," Mr. Schue said, gaining everyone's attention immediately. Everyone was now sitting next to their duet partner. "So after school today, if any of you are ready, you can perform your duet. You have until Friday, third period to perform. That afternoon, I will tell you the winners. Ok, so there's some time left, which I will give to you to talk to your partners, discuss song ideas, or begin practicing. Good luck guys."
With that, the silence was broken by talk, and the pairs went to different parts of the room to avoid being heard or disturbing others. Tina and I stayed sitting on the front chairs. I watched as Rachel and Santana walked out of the room and towards the auditorium. "So Quinn," Tina interrupted my staring, "Any ideas?" I thought about it. "We could do a Madonna song, show our inner divas." Tina instantly latched on to my idea. "We could do Express Yourself." "Yeah," I agreed. We talked more about it, deciding to meet after glee at my house to practice the song. The bell rang, ending my favorite part of the day (except for lunch). Now just 1 more class to go before lunch with Rachel.
As soon as the bell rang for the end of fourth period, I bolted out the door, books already in my bag, ready to go. I weaved in and out of the growing crowd, making my way to the cafeteria, not wanting to keep Rachel waiting. I pushed the doors open, and fast-walked to a table. I sat quickly, glancing around for a certain petite brunette or anyone else I knew. When my eyes fell on the Cheerios table, I sighed. Its not that I missed being a Cheerio, because honestly, it sucked. Working out all the time, always having my hair in a ponytail and wearing that uniform, making sure I don't gain weight. But it had some rewards. I still kinda missed the way everyone obeyed me and respected me, the power. Especially the way they'd part and make space just for me to walk through in the hallways. But you can't always get what you want, y'know? Maybe its for the best. Whatever.
I didn't have to wait for long; Rachel was there in front of me seconds later. "Hey," I smiled up at her, since I was still sitting and she was standing. "Hi," she smiled down at me. "Well, we should get in line before it gets too long," I suggested. "Yeah, lets go." I stood up, but before I could do anything, Rachel grabbed my hand and pulled me to the line. Oh my gosh, her hands were so soft and warm. And tiny! Why does Santana even call her manhands? When we pushed our way in the line, she let go of my hand, and I felt the warmth leave. My hand was so much colder now. I sighed. Again. I sigh a lot lately, huh? Oh well, can't help it. Sigh. Oops, I did it again. Hey, song reference. I'm so weird and random sometimes. Anyways, Rach and I bought our lunches in silence, both of us getting a salad. We made our way outside and sat down at a table away from everyone. As we chewed the lettuce quietly, I thought back to when she and Santana left the choir room and went to the auditorium. By themselves. "So how'd it go with you and Santana?" I asked as casually as I could manage while I was burning with curiosity inside. She looked away, not meeting my gaze. Odd. She always looked someone in the eyes when she talked to them. "It was all right." Did something happen? "Really?" She was visibly squirming under my gaze. I knew she wanted me to drop it, but I just couldn't. "Yeah, we decided on the song and we intend to sing tomorrow. She is coming to my house today to practice." She still did not look at me. "And she didn't insult you or threaten to kill you?" I didn't like how Santana would be going to Rachel's house and they'd be singing to each other. And probably in her room. "No. She was actually very polite and respectful." What?! "Are you sure we are still talking about the same person?" Rach rolled her eyes. "What happened?" I continued. "Umm," for once she was at a loss for words. "Hey guys," Sam interrupted, sitting down next to Rae. "Hi," I replied, trying to hide my annoyance of being interrupted. "Hey, Sam!" Rachel was way too enthusiastic to see him. I didn't like it. She reached out and hugged him for like 5,000 seconds. I just watched, my annoyance growing. She finally pulled back, but not before reaching her hand out and playing with his hair. "I love your hair!" She grinned hugely at him. He returned it, then realized that I was there too. "So anyways guys, how's it going?"
The rest of lunch was uneventful. Some of the other gleeks found us and hanged with us, so I didn't get to spend anymore time alone with Rachel, so I was super disappointed. But at least I was with my friends...
The other two periods passed slowly, and finally school was over and it was time for glee again. Mr. Schue arrived and told us to practice our duets, so I was working with Tina again. We both knew the lyrics to Express Yourself and we knew the tune, so it was easy. Way too soon, it was 4:30. The one and a half hour of glee had passed quickly. I made my way to my car, and Tina to hers, so she could follow me to my house. As I was about to pull out of the parking lot, I saw a small, pinkish car driving away. Rachel. I happened to glimpse her in the driver seat, but I also caught a glimpse of a certain Latina in the passenger seat. Oh crap. I pushed back my feelings and tried to forget it. Maybe tomorrow would be better.
Shall I continue this? Please Review!