A/N: I saw Iron Man this weekend. I got inspired. I haven't written this much in a while. I place the blame squarely on Robert Downey Jr's shoulders. The following is the result. I do not remember where I first saw the 5 Things style. If someone could let me know I will gladly credit the inventor of such an awesome format for a story. Please, please read and review and let me know what you think.
Also, this is firmly in the Movieverse. All I know about Iron Man I got from the movie and Wikipedia.
1.
As the car drove through the winding roads, Pepper began to have second thoughts. Well, actually by this time, it was probably more like fifth and sixth thoughts. She'd had second thoughts at the end of her interview process a week ago when the smarmy lawyers handed her a stack of waivers and privacy clauses to sign. Her third and fourth thoughts came yesterday when she spent her first official day on the job again with the lawyers and then with the security team. She learned pass codes, proper press etiquette ('absolutely no comment at this time' – politely and firmly) and then she was warned about the man himself.
"He's – charming and on occasion, well, a handful," one of the lawyers had said. "We've had issues with his other assistants in the past. I trust this won't be a problem Miss Potts? We received such high praises from your previous managers about your dedication to order."
Pepper had smiled and reassured the gentlemen that all she wanted to do was do a good job and assist Mr Stark to the best of her ability. She wasn't all that comforted by their patronizing grins.
Of course, she knew his reputation. She hadn't spent the past few years in a hole, the ladies in Accounting were hardly stingy with the gossip and their favourite topic was Tony Stark. Pepper knew he was attractive and a genius and possibly a little eccentric, but you could hardly expect the youngest CEO in history to be flawless. But, she hadn't worked her fingers off to be intimidated by silly gossips and she was determined to make this job work.
The car came to a stop outside of the Stark mansion and Pepper opened the door before the chauffeur got a chance to approach the door. She thought she saw him hide a grin.
"Have a nice day Miss Potts," he said. "He's actually a rather decent man. Most of the time. And he'll most likely be in his work room."
"Right, thank you. It'll be fine," she said grasping her briefcase handle. "Thank you. Again. Thanks. Right, I'll just... Be going."
Pepper let herself into the house and called out, "Hello? Mr Stark? Anyone?"
She stood in the foyer. Nothing. No footsteps, no answer.
"Huh," she thought. She wandered into the living room and took a moment to appreciate the view. Then she turned smartly on her heel and headed in the direction of the office she'd been told would be hers. Sure enough a room labelled office was located just around the corner from the living room. She rested her briefcase against the wall and bent down to pick up a pile of folders in front of the door. She was trying to remember the code to this room when a voice behind her said,
"Did I order you?"
Pepper clutched the folders to her chest, spun around and got her first up-close view of Tony Stark.
She was less than impressed.
Dark hair stuck up in all directions, his normally fashionable scruffy appearance was even scruffier and he'd obviously been working all night on something. The distinct odor of liquor (Scotch? Bourbon? Both?) was emanating off him. His eyes were red and he looked far too old to be so young.
"Mr Stark!" Pepper said. "I hope I didn't disturb you. I was just trying to get things in order."
Stark stared at her.
"I'm your new personal assistant," she said. "I was told you were expecting me. Didn't Human Resources notify you?"
He continued staring.
"My name is Pepper. Potts. Pepper Potts," she rambled. "Well, actually my first name is Virginia, but I go by Pepper. A nickname I know. I got stuck with it in elementary school, but anything is better that Virginia, right?"
"Oh my God girl! Shut up!" she thought. "Shut up right now!"
Stark shifted on his feet.
"Pep-perrr," he drew out the –errr. "Pepper Potts. Are you sure I didn't order you?"
"Order me for what exactly?" she asked frowning.
He quirked his lips a little.
"Oh. Oh! Oh! Oh my God! An unknown woman in your house is trying to sort through your folders and the first thing you assume is that she's a prostitute? What the heck have you been up to all these years?" she said.
Stark smirked fully and rubbed his face. "You really don't want to know," he said. "Well then Miss Potts. Is it Miss or Mrs? Please don't say it's Ms."
"It's Miss," Pepper said. "I'm not married."
"Good," Tony said turning around and striding away. "I tend to be possessive of my things."
"Excuse me?" she said trying to keep up. "Um, I'd really rather not be referred to as a 'thing'. Where are you going?"
"To bed," he called over his shoulder.
"You don't need me to," she tried. "To, ah, help you with anything?"
Stark stopped right in front of an open door and turned around so quickly she almost ran into his chest. Stark smirked. Pepper frowned.
"My last assistant lasted two days. The one before her lasted about a week," he said. "Now, under other circumstances I'm sure they were both good at their jobs and as it was, I did find out other things they were very good at. However, this is different. I am different. I don't like meetings, keeping appointments, answering mail, returning calls, blah, blah, blah. So you could see that this may be a challenge for the ordinary assistant. So go ahead. Try to make sense of what's in that office and see if Jarvis will talk to you. I don't expect this to work, but you're perky and a redhead, so two points already in your favour."
He turned away and entered the room and began to close the door but popped his head out at the last minute, "Unless you'd like to help me into my pj's?"
Pepper wasn't quite sure what expression she had on her face but apparently it was enough.
"Thought not," Stark said. He closed the door.
Pepper stood in the hallway weighing her options. She walked slowly back to the office. She finally got the door opened and took in the stacks of papers, the blinking message lights, the articles waiting to be archived, and a large tray of receipts waiting to be turned into expense reports.
"No one would blame you if you quit," a little voice in her head told her.
She turned on the computer and clicked on the Inbox. 853 unread messages received in the last 48 hours.
"Really. It would be a totally okay thing to quit," the little voice continued. "He thought you were a hooker!"
Pepper navigated through the desktop and clicked on an icon called Jarvis.
"Hello Miss Potts," a voice said overhead. "How may I help you?"
She sat back in her chair and slowly looked up. Nothing. Right. Of course he has an AI system installed.
"It's not too late," the little voice tried again. "You have a sick mother/father/cousin you forgot to mention and you have to leave. It's not too late. Run! Now!"
Pepper cleared her throat.
"Umm, Jarvis I presume?"
3 Hours Later...
Tony Stark awoke to the sound of Jarvis describing the conditions outside and the door opening. He smelled strong coffee and blinked his eyes wearily and sat up a little. The form of a tall woman with red hair came into focus.
"Miss Potts?" he mumbled.
"You missed your meetings with Accounting and PR, but you can still make your 2 o'clock with your Development and Research team. They've discovered some flaws in the latest programming you sent over and are anxious to discuss it further with you. From there you have a virtual tour of the new energy facility being constructed and then dinner this evening with Mr Stane and a few other CEOs. It is scheduled to end promptly at 9:30 and you will be free until 10 am tomorrow when you have to be downtown for an unveiling of the new Stark wing at the hospital," Pepper handed him the coffee.
"I assume you take it black," she said. "The blueprints and discs you requested from NASA have arrived. I put them in your work room. Don't worry I didn't touch anything. I'll leave you to get ready. Jarvis can prep you on the programming bugs. But after that we need to go over your expenses. I think you're paying your attorney too much."
Pepper turned to leave.
"Wait," Stark said a little flustered. "What brought this on?"
She looked at him and smiled. "Well, you were right."
"Of course I was," he said. "What about?"
"I'm perky and a redhead," she said turning to leave the room. "I'm also 5'10", can run in heels, and can spot an error in a spreadsheet from 50 paces. So looks like another 3 points in my favor.
The door closed behind her.
"Sir?" Jarvis said.
"Yeah Jarvis, what?" Stark said sipping his coffee.
"I like her."
2.
Pepper was rushing out the door and into the car waiting for her when her phone rang. It was him.
"Yes, Mr Stark?" she said.
"Good morning to you too Miss Potts. A little out of breath are we? Please tell me you were up to something deviant," Stark said.
"Sorry to disappoint. Just running a little late," she said. "What can I do for you?"
"I plan to be in my workroom all day, clear out my schedule. Hold calls. Not going into the office," he ordered.
"You have a meeting this afternoon with a rep from Berkeley's Engineering Department," she reminded him.
"Cancel and reschedule," he said.
"I've cancelled and rescheduled this guy three times already."
"Cancel and reschedule."
"Mr Stark..."
"Potts, please."
"Fine," she said. "Your schedule is clear."
"Thank you," he said with gusto. "Oh, yeah, um when you get here would you mind cleaning out my bedroom for me? That'll be all Miss Potts."
Stark hung up.
She held the phone away from her ear. Clean out his bedroom? Was she going to have to go over her job contract with him? Again? She wasn't the maid.
She entered the Stark mansion and was distractedly reading over the latest stock figures when something on the floor caught her eye.
Pepper blinked. And yet, the strappy Jimmy Choo knock-off remained in the hallway. She followed the trail of faux designer clothes all the way to Stark's bedroom. She peered in and caught a glimpse of a tanned leg.
Clean out his bedroom indeed. Pepper saw red. How was this supposed to go? Did she go in and wake her up personally? Call a bodyguard? Oh she was furious! At Tony for being insensitive to the poor girl and to her, at this poor girl who fell for whatever line he fed her, and she was so angry at herself for getting so angry.
Pepper turned around and picked up the dress off the floor.
"I'm an adult," she thought. "I'll get this poor woman on her way and then I will march down and tell His Smugness that this is crossing a line and I don't have to stand for it. He doesn't like it, I'll quit."
Pepper called the housekeeper and arranged for the dress to be cleaned and pressed. She began her daily correspondence while she waited for the drycleaners.
And hour later, laundry bag in hand, she walked quietly down the hallway to Stark's room. She went over in her head how she was going to break it to this poor, deluded girl that Mr Stark was not able to see her off personally and probably wouldn't be reachable for the foreseeable future. As she reached the door she heard a voice.
"I'm telling you Jerry, this place is state of the art," a woman was saying. "The security system is unbreakable. But I should find a story around her somewhere. Maybe in the liquor cabinet. How can a man drink this much?"
Pepper's fingers curled tightly around the bag. She stood in the doorway of the bedroom.
The woman was draped in the sheet off the bed and was going through the chest of drawers and talking on her cell phone.
"No, no. Nothing like that. I didn't really expect him to keep his top secret stuff just lying on the coffee table," she closed one drawer and opened another. "Hmm? Well, I can always do a puff piece about the mating habits of one of the Fortune 500. 'How Good in Bed is Tony Stark?'"
She moved to the bedside table.
"You won't find anything in there," Pepper said casually.
The woman spun around and dropped her phone.
"He keeps his private things elsewhere," Pepper told the woman while putting the bag on the bed. "Your dress is cleaned and pressed and a car is waiting outside to take you where you need to go. And if a word is printed about the 'mating habits' of Mr Stark, you and your magazine will be sued within an inch of your lives for defamation of character."
She looked hard at the woman.
"We'll win too," she said.
The woman in the sheet swallowed and raised her chin.
Pepper smiled. "I'll just wait outside for you."
"I can find my way out," the woman told her.
"Oh, I'm sure you can," Pepper said reassuringly. "I just wouldn't want you to get lost or distracted by something shiny along the way."
15 minutes later, Pepper entered Tony's work room with the mail. He was hunched over the arm of one of his robots.
"Why do you insist on turning my music down when you come in here?" he asked.
"Because it allows me to maintain the illusion that you actually listen to me when I talk to you," she answered.
"Potts," Stark said admonished. "I always listen to you."
"Really?" she murmured. "My mistake."
"I expected you to turn up sooner," he said as he watched the arm in front of him rotate. "Any problems?"
Pepper smiled a little. "Nope. No problems."
3.
Another Annual General Meeting was underway at Stark Industries and Pepper Potts was pleased with herself. Not only was her boss present and accounted for, his speech was a perfect blend of fact and humor. There was plenty of concrete information that was vague enough not to bore everyone to tears but also detailed enough to satisfy the shareholders. She should know, she wrote half of it last night with Tony after he pleaded with her and forbade her from leaving the house until it was done. Not that she minded. And look, he was keeping to the notes. For once.
Yes, Pepper Potts was very pleased with herself.
Tony finished his speech to a round of applause. He raised his drink in her direction and smiled. She smiled back.
The rest of the evening was a blur of small talk and dances with the other assistants and accountants. She had a very relaxing turn around the floor with Rhodes and then a rather uncomfortable one with one of the younger board members.
His hands wandered and she had to juggle to keep them in a respectable place all the while maintaining a serene smile on her face. Finally his hand stopped its meandering and rested a bit too low on her back. He pressed her closer to whisper,
"Very impressed with Tony-boy's speech. Tell me as his assistant, do you assist him with everything?"
Pepper froze in disbelief and horror.
"I heard this speech was created in late night hours, congratulations on getting our boy into place," the sour smell of whiskey blasted the side of her face. "Tell me, do you command as well in the bedroom as you do in the office?"
His hand moved to rest on her backside.
Pepper bit her lip and stomped on his foot. Regrettably only using the ball of her foot and not the heel.
"Oh, I'm so sorry," she apologized to the red-faced man as she gestured at the nearby steward. "Sometimes I'm all left feet. David, would you help Mr Jones to his seat? And get him another drink? Whiskey Sour, right?"
As soon as the steward led the stumbling drunk away, Pepper headed towards the exit. Of course, exiting gracefully through a throng of people while hiding shaking hands was no easy feat. It was another 20 minutes before she was in the comforting steel of the elevator.
She hugged herself briefly and rubbed her arms briskly.
"Right," she thought. "It's not like you hadn't heard the rumors. You're the only assistant he's had for the last seven years. Of course, people were going to say things."
The elevator doors opened on Tony Stark's office level. She headed to her desk.
"But, to actually hear it from a board member," she thought standing beside her desk. "These are people I report to. How can they take me seriously if this is what they think? Oh God. I can't work like this."
She sat down and opened up her word processor and started to type. Then she stopped.
"Am I overreacting?" she wondered, resting her head in her hands. "Is one drunken insinuation really cause to quit?"
But it wasn't the insinuation. It was him. It was the fact that he was nowhere to be seen. That he allowed her to do things that were above and beyond the call of duty. He was the employer, he should look out for her and her reputation. Damnit, he should know better.
Spurred on by this logic, 'which was slightly skewed,' a little voice said quietly, she began typing furiously. She was so involved she didn't hear the elevator doors open and close. She did however, hear the footsteps that approached her desk and the clink of glass in a tumbler.
"Don't look up," she commanded herself. "For God's sake, don't look up."
She heard him take a drink.
"You know," Tony started. "I never got a dance. I would have thought that as my assistant-"
"As your assistant Mr Stark," Pepper cut in. "I'm only responsible for making sure you are where you need to be and your messages are answered promptly. That is all. If you need someone to dance with, you are perfectly capable of finding someone yourself."
Pepper heard what may have been a sigh, but Tony Stark didn't sigh. He huffed. So she decided she didn't hear anything.
He turned away to look out the window and take another drink.
"Bob Jones is a drunken blowhard that should never have had a place on my board. His father was on my father's board and so tradition called for him to be on mine," he said in a bored tone. "And unlike some other well-mannered gentlemen of your acquaintance, he cannot hold his liquor."
Pepper's head whipped up. "Are you excusing...?"
"No," Tony said firmly turning quickly and catching her eyes. "I am not."
She froze at the sight of his very dark eyes and white knuckles clutching his drink. Tony Stark wasn't bored.
He was furious.
"He has been informed that his actions tonight were the final nail in a very big coffin and he is being suspended from the board. And yes," he said when she opened her mouth to protest. "It will happen. He is an embarrassment and I will not stand for anyone abusing my staff."
"Mr Stark," Pepper said quietly.
Tony grinned. "I can find board members anywhere. They're all waiting under their respective rocks for a chance to take my money," he stopped grinning. "Amazing and graceful assistants, on the other hand, are a very rare commodity."
Pepper felt the corners of her mouth turn up.
"Thank you," she said.
Tony nodded briskly.
"Now, what exactly are you doing up here?" he asked draining his glass.
She flushed. "Oh, just cleaning up my desk," she said. She looked at the spotless desktop and then up at him. Tony's lips twitched.
"Well, when you're finished here I think Rhodey was clamouring for another dance with you," he said. "Provided you don't step on his toes."
Pepper cringed a little. "I'll be right down."
"See that you are," he said heading towards the elevator. "That'll be all Miss Potts."
She sat there until she heard the elevator doors open and close. She looked at the open document on her screen. The cursor blinked at her.
Pepper closed without saving.
4.
"Did you hear Janey got a job in Prague?" Nina said to Pepper over the rim of her cup.
"Prague?" Pepper said amazed. "What's in Prague?"
She was sitting in one of her favourite cafes with an old roommate from college at their quarterly lunches. Pepper was happily getting the scoop on all her old friends.
"The company she was with went global," Nina was saying. "You know how she is with languages, it was a good move."
"Wow, I'm so happy for her," Pepper said. "She's been dying to live in Europe."
"So, what about you?" Nina asked. "How is the infamous Mr Stark? I'm surprised you made it today. We only rescheduled once instead of a dozen times."
"Oh, I know, sorry. He's fine. Busy with a new project and slowly driving me insane, but fine," she said taking a sip of her iced tea.
"And you?" Nina asked seriously. "Are you fine?"
"Ye-es," Pepper said. "Why are you asking me like that?"
Her friend sighed and shook her head. "Pepper, you know I love you and please don't take this the wrong way, but are you sure this is what you want to do with the rest of your life? Don't you want something for yourself? Your name out there? Instead of being his assistant?"
"Like what exactly?" Pepper asked slowly.
"Okay, I had planned to wait until after dessert. You know, got you all pliable after raspberry cheesecake, but I can't wait," Nina said taking a deep breath. "Mark and I are going into business together. We're merging the two firms into one big one. We plan to become the lobbying voice for fair business practice."
"But, isn't Mark situated in New York?" Pepper asked.
"Yes, he is! That's what makes this so perfect," Nina said excitedly. "We already have a well-established client base and backing from several big names. All we need is the perfect person to manage the whole thing."
Nina leaned back and smiled at Pepper.
"What? Me?" she said. "Nina! I can't possibly..."
"Pep, I don't know anyone better qualified!" Nina said. "You are perfect for this. You have management experience, you know the business and its lingo. You'd get to travel, meet important people, and it would be all yours! You'd be running it."
"Oh Nina, I don't know," Pepper said leaning back in her chair, mind racing.
"Come on girl! Think of the opportunities!" Nina continued. "This could be your thing! Do you really want to be Tony Stark's nursemaid the rest of your life?"
Pepper frowned.
"Just think about it," her friend said. "Ooh, look, lunch is here."
She did think about it. She thought about it all the way back to the Stark mansion. She thought about it when she argued with Jarvis over the formatting of the calendars, while she RSVP'd to over a dozen invites, and while she looked over the expense reports.
She was, in fact, thinking about it as she reported to Tony the figures on the first test trials of his Jericho project. Apparently, it showed.
"Potts," he interrupted mid-column.
"What?" she said flustered. "Do you need that number again?"
"No, not particularly. What's with you?" he asked.
"Sorry? What? Nothing!" Pepper said. "Nothing's with me. I'm fine."
Tony cocked his head and gave her one of his assessing looks. The ones he usually reserved for one of his 3D models. It made her uncomfortable.
"Ri-ight," Tony said. "Something's definitely with you. Come on, tell your kind and understanding boss all about it."
"Honestly, nothing's wrong," Pepper said adjusting her hold on her papers. "I'm fine. Really, nothing's – do people really consider me your nursemaid?"
He blinked. Then he made a sound halfway between a cough and a choke.
"My nursemaid?" he said. "I, um, hadn't heard that. Although the uniform involved could be entertaining."
Pepper glared at him.
"No, no, right, sorry, um," Tony laughed. "No. People do not think of you as my nursemaid. If anything, they consider you to be this saint-like being with super powers."
She rolled her eyes. "Forget I said anything."
"No," Tony said sitting up. "I want to know who said this. And why is it bothering you? You're usually more duck-like about this type of thing."
"Duck-like?" she said. "Do I quack?"
He waved his hand. "Water, duck's tail, back, you know."
Pepper sighed. "A friend said something. She meant well."
"Ah yes," he said. "You had plans today. No more plans for you if this is the result."
She smiled wearily and shuffled the papers a little.
"Potts," he began uncertainly.
"It's fine Mr Stark," she said feeling very tired. "Would you like me to go over the figures again?"
"Yes, please," he said quietly studying her.
Pepper emailed Nina the next day thanking her for the offer but that she really couldn't accept at this time. She tried not to think about why.
5.
"I quit," Pepper said tossing the flash drive onto the table and turning away.
She won't do it. She can't. Doesn't he see that? She cannot watch him kill himself. Because that is what will happen. And that will kill her too, because those are bullet holes and she already had her hand inches away from his heart earlier in the week and she just can't.
His voice stopped her. She looked at him in disbelief. Was Tony Stark pleading with her?
"I finally know what I have to do."
"Oh, hell," she thought. "Like I'm capable of quitting this job."
And she is really telling him the truth when she says he's all she has.
Pepper picks up the flash drive. She will not stick around to see the satisfied smile on his face.
And then later, after the explosions and proving that yes, she really can run in heels, she is fixing his tie and he admits to thinking about that night (but they're at a press conference and he's promised to stick to the notes) so she lets him go and wonders if she'll get a chance to really talk to him.
But then, when he admits he's Iron Man and the press goes insane and all Pepper can see are the phone calls and the astronomical amount of damage control and he's just up there smirking, the jerk, all she can really think is,
"I better be getting the mother of all raises."