"Thirteen!" Cameron's voice rang out in the cavernous lobby of the hospital, turning a few heads. But not the one she had wanted. Remy tensed, hesitating mid-step for a second before continuing forward as if she hadn't heard. "Dr. Hadley!" Cameron closer this time—too close to ignore—and she turned, scanning the room with a glower. Cameron was jogging toward her, pink scrubs bobbing in rhythm to her steps. "Hey!" Her voice was almost irritatingly cheerful. "I wanted to talk to you."
Thirteen shrugged, raising her hands then dropping them back to her sides in an uninspired shrug. "So talk."
Allison twitched slightly, a symptom of her oversensitivity, sending a pang of regret ripping through Remy's chest. The two of them had begun to get friendly at one point—she was sure Allison had thought they could be close—but now friendly was no longer an option. Cameron recovered quickly and chuckled, shooting a smile down at her shoes before glancing back up at the woman in front of her. "Don't do that. I'm just worried about you."
Remy forced a smile, shrugging a bit less dramatically this time. "I'm fine. Nothing to be worried about."
"Thirteen…" Cameron trailed off, sighing at Remy's lame attempt at smoothing over the situation. Her jaw was set, and concern shone in her clear blue eyes. "I heard what happened with Dr. Cuddy and the IV." Thirteen crossed her arms against her chest, jutting her hip out to the side. "And House firing you." Allison pressed, trying to get Thirteen to react though she knew from past experience it was about as smart as poking a bear.
Remy's gaze dropped to the floor, her muscles loosening slightly. Cameron reached out a reassuring hand, but Thirteen jerked her arm away from the contact almost immediately. Allison sighed, throwing the rejected hand up in frustration.
"Look, I just wanted to say you can't go on like this. What if you get fired for real? What if you bring the wrong person home and get robbed, or worse? What if-" Cameron's well-intentioned words were cut short by Thirteen's stinging voice.
"I'll make sure you're the first person I call so you can gloat in my misery. Happy?" Remy's frown deepened, and she looked off to the side, hoping the words would end the conversation. All she really wanted at this point was to be anywhere but this hospital. The shame she'd felt from earlier in the day returned to her, muddying her complexion with the excess blood now rushing to her cheeks.
Allison seemed taken aback. With the exception of House, nobody had reacted to her concern that way before. She stepped forward, placing a hand on Thirteen's shoulder and letting her fingers settle into the soft fabric of her t-shirt. She ducked her head to place her face in front of Remy's downcast eyes. "No, not even close. I don't want to see you self-destruct. I can't watch that happen and not try to help."
Thirteen's gray-blue eyes flickered back over to meet Cameron's and she shook her head slightly. "Listen, Cameron. I get you. You're the type of person who had a great life. Perfect family, popular in high school, got straight A's," she bit her lower lip and cast her gaze away from the prying eyes yet again. "But it doesn't make you happy, so you look for people who aren't like you—people who hurt—and you try to help them. Well, I don't want to live in an ivory tower like you, all right?" She waved her hands toward the entrance of the hospital, "go volunteer at the Salvation Army or something. Just leave me alone." She turned and exited the hospital without giving Cameron a chance to respond.
Thirteen pushed open the door to her apartment, sighing heavily as she collapsed onto the gray sofa in her living room. She wanted her mind to be racing, she wanted to feel so many emotions that they threatened to burst out of her, but she didn't. She didn't think anything, didn't feel anything. She stared at the coffee table in front of her, her mind feeling like television after the programming had stopped running: all white noise and crackling static. There was no sound in her apartment, no movement. The world threatened not to move forward, not to allow her to move forward. She glanced down at her hands, still shaky from the endorphins sucked from her system by the ecstasy, and balled them into tight fists, shutting her eyes against the image. Part of her wanted to stay still, to never continue. Would it be better to live in this perpetual nightmare than to not live at all? She slammed her fists into her knees, laughing at the pain that spiked through her bones. It didn't make her feel more alive, didn't change anything, but there was something oddly satisfying about the gesture and she laughed again, shaking her head at her self-destructive tendencies as if she were a child asking why the sky is blue.
"I really need to relax." She murmured to herself, standing and trudging to the bathroom. She stood in front of the mirror, sighing at the person she found staring back. She looked tired, older even, as if she'd been worn by age ten years in the past month. She rested her forehead against the cool glass, no longer wanting to be reminded of the toll she was taking on her already fragile system. She let her head flop to the side, noticing the large white porcelain fixture pushed up into an alcove in the bathroom. She pushed off the sink, going to perch on the edge of the bathtub, grabbing the calming bubble bath she'd had from the last time she'd taken a bath—three years ago. She plugged the tub and ran the water, dumping the gel in the way of the gushing tap. She began peeling off her clothes, glancing around and noticing something missing. She pushed her lips to the left, mulling over her surroundings. "Lighting." She snapped her fingers in recognition. "It's the lighting." Realizing she didn't have any candles, she snatched the floor lamp out of the living room, and placed it in the corner opposite the tub in the bathroom. Switching the overhead light off and the lamp light on, she grinned at her ingenuity. Absolutely brilliant. She eased her body into the tub, the scalding hot water shooting ripples of pain across her reddening skin.
Right as she was allowing herself to relax into the loosening effects of the water, she heard pounding at her front door. She ignored it, deciding whoever it was could wait until she was finished. It wasn't like she ever had pleasant visitors anyway. The pounding persisted, and was soon accompanied by a voice.
"Thirteen! I know you're in there!" Cameron's familiar voice was muffled, but not past the point of recognition. The walls in the building had always been paper thin. Remy sighed, shaking her head at the woman's persistence. "I can wait out here all night!" Another three bangs resounded on the door. "Don't think I won't!"
Deciding it would be easier to turn her away from the door with a few harsh, meaningless words than wait for her to leave of her own volition, Remy rose from the water and wrapped herself in a towel. As she approached, she heard talking on the other side of the metal slab that was her front door. She tugged it open, one hand still grasping her towel shut, making sure it didn't fall from her barely covered body.
"Some of us have work tomorrow, and I can hear you perfectly clearly from my apartment next door. I'm just asking for a little-" The man glanced up from Cameron's face, relief washing over his features. "Look, I don't care who you sleep with or what hour of the night you come home at, but this is fucking ridiculous." He growled, eyes locked onto Thirteen's.
"I'm sorry, Ralph. I'll take care of it." She tugged on Cameron's arm, pulling her into the apartment, and flashed a vacant smile at her neighbor.
"My name is Ron." He replied, though he only got halfway through the sentence before the door was slammed shut in his face.
Thirteen turned, heading back toward her bathroom to finish her night's relaxation."You can lie low here until he leaves." She mumbled in Allison's general direction. "Let yourself out."
Cameron followed closely behind her, not willing to be deterred so easily. "I'm here to talk, Thirteen, I'm not going to leave just like-" The door to the bathroom closed in her face, and a sigh escaped her lips. She leaned her head against the painted wood, listening to the sloshing noises as the other woman slid back into the tub. "Please, Thirteen. I'm worried about you." She was met with silence that rang through her ears as she strained to listen for any sign of movement or sound from within the room.
A thought crossed her mind rather suddenly. When the door had closed, there had been no click. She put her hand on the knob, twisting gently and finding the door very much unlocked. She stepped in, taking in the sight before her. Thirteen was submerged in a thin layer of bubbles, nothing but her knees and face protruded from the mass of white foam. Cameron crossed her arms, placing her fingers at the hem of her shirt, hesitating for a second as she watched the naked woman before her. She looked almost serene. As with anything deep, she knew there was often turbulence and activity in the depths with no signs on the surface. She tugged upward on the hem and tossed her shirt to the side, followed by the rest of her clothes, leaving a short path of discarded fabric as she neared the tub.
The water level rose as Cameron eased herself in, the water draining noisily, complaining at the interruption. Remy raised her head slightly, gazing at the woman now kneeling above her in the water, her naked body almost completely exposed above the water's surface.
"Will you talk to me now? Is this what it takes?" Cameron's voice was shaky, lacking the conviction she'd had earlier when speaking, though her stare was as strong as ever. Thirteen's eyes searched Cameron's, quickly moving down her neck to her breasts, her stomach, her thighs; taking in every inch of flawless perfection.
Cameron could feel Thirteen scanning her, and she suddenly felt as though the skin of her chest and stomach was tightening around her thin frame. "Do you like my body?" Cameron whispered, Thirteen's eyes snapping back up to hers. They stared at each other for a second and Allison swallowed roughly, attempting to deflect the insecurity she felt under Thirteen's gaze. Realizing Thirteen was still not going to talk to her, she pressed on, her voice barely audible even in the silent bathroom. "Do you want to touch me?"
The brunette's expression was somewhere between confusion and concern, eyebrows furrowed over her squinting eyes, pronouncing wrinkles around the beautiful orbs. Her lips hung slightly ajar and her breathing came rapidly through the small opening created. Without looking away from Thirteen's eyes, Cameron reached down to grab Thirteen's submerged hand, bringing it up to rest on her collarbone. She could feel the other woman trembling—either from fear or hesitation, she supposed. She guided the hand down further, moving almost painfully slowly, into the space between her breasts, letting the hand linger against her heartbeat for a second and bringing her other hand to Remy's chest to mirror the gesture. For a second, their hearts beat in unison, and Remy clenched her eyes shut tightly.
"Look at me." Cameron's voice rang out authoritatively, echoing in the small space. "Don't close your eyes."
Thirteen's gray eyes fluttered back open, meeting with blue again, not daring to end the encounter though she found herself unable to grasp its meaning or to predict what would happen next. Keeping the younger doctor's hand pressed firmly to her chest, Cameron began exploring the body beneath her with her free hand. Her fingers slid upward across the wet skin, then back down the length of Remy's collarbone with a nail, eliciting a gasp that cut through the thick silence in the room. Cameron glanced up, her eyes meeting with Thirteen's even as her fingers continued downward, gently brushing one of her nipples.
"Cameron." It was the first time Thirteen had spoken but her voice already sounded raspy and hoarse.
"Allison." Cameron corrected, grabbing the sensitive flesh underneath her fingertips and tugging it harshly, watching Remy's body arch and hiss in a cocktail of pain and pleasure. "What's your name? Your real name?"
Thirteen laughed, shaking her head slightly, and trying to clear the fog that had begun to settle in her brain. "You know my name. It's on all my charts. And my ID tag."
Cameron's fingers found her other nipple now, thoughtlessly circling the areola, purposely ignoring the more sensitive flesh she was so damn close to. "I want you to tell me. I want you to want me to know it."
This earned Allison a throaty chuckle. "Call me Remy." A whimper escaped her as Cameron let her thumb slip across the tightened tip of her nipple, sending jolts through her stomach to her clit as it began throbbing in rhythm with her heart.
"Remy." Cameron tested the word. She had never used it before. She'd referred to her as Dr. Hadley a million times, but she hadn't yet found occasion to use the beautiful doctor's first name. "Remy." She repeated, a little more confidently. She grinned at the exquisite way the word felt, and at the way it made the fingers pressed tightly to her chest twitch.
Her thin fingers slid lower, fingernails raking down the flushed skin of the brunette's stomach, leaving white marks in their wake. Thirteen inhaled sharply, whimpering at the sensations ripping through her burning skin, intensifying the throbbing that was now threatening to consume her body. She wanted desperately to shut her eyes, to shut out the world and just focus on the hands that were teasing the skin of her hips and thighs—tracing her hip bones, trailing up her inner thighs, delighting at every moan and whimper—but she didn't want to lose sight of Cameron, didn't want her to stop.
A finger slipped in between her outer lips and Thirteen gasped at the sudden rush of pressure and warmth, letting out a groan of appreciation for Allison's touch.
"Are you still here with me?" Cameron's words pulled Thirteen from her depths—brought her back into the world—and the feelings hit her threefold.
Cameron was in her bathtub, one of her hands teasing Remy's inner lips mercilessly, her hips grinding downward against Remy's thigh, pieces of her hair framing her face effortlessly. And Remy—Remy the player, the slut, the one who never let anyone in—was letting her.
"I'm here, Allison." Remy lifted her free hand up to caress the beautiful face hovering above her.
Cameron turned to place a tender kiss on the palm of Remy's hand, exhaling her pleasure into it when Thirteen's other hand covered one of her breasts, brushing against a nipple which had been straining for attention. Cameron upped the ante, slipping a finger inside of Thirteen, who inhaled sharply, the breath seemingly sticking in her throat as her body twitched and she trapped her lower lip between her teeth. Cameron slowly slid her finger out and pressed it roughly back into Remy's quivering body. Thirteen's eyes slammed shut again, moaning out Allison's name yet again.
"Look at me." Cameron's finger stilled, waiting for Thirteen's full attention before continuing.
Remy's breaths were ragged and fast, her entire body pulsing and humming. She struggled to open her eyes, wishing half-heartedly that Cameron was just another person using her body for their own pleasure, that she could pin her against the porcelain and make her beg for orgasm. But that wasn't why Cameron was there and they both knew it. And, on some level, Thirteen needed this. Cameron's fingers started moving again, sliding in and out of Remy's now writhing body.
"I care about you, you know that?" Cameron had dropped her lips down next to Remy's ear. "I want you to be happy." She curled her finger to press against Thirteen's g-spot, and fingernails clutched in vain at the bare skin of Cameron's back. "Did you know that?"
"Yes." Thirteen dragged out the last syllable, the hiss eventually devolving into a moan as Cameron's fingers pressed into her again, sweetly yet roughly.
Cameron smirked, loving the effect she was having on Thirteen's body, and pulled back to watch her reactions. Thirteen's hips began bucking harder and faster as her desire built up, threatening to burst from her at any moment.
"A-Allison." She whimpered, bringing a hand up to the back of Cameron's head, wrapping her fingers in her blonde hair. "Kiss me." She threw her head back. "Please, kiss me."
She pulled Cameron's lips into hers, releasing her orgasm into Allison's mouth with every moan and expletive she uttered. Thirteen's body shuddered as Cameron slid her fingers from the twitching body beneath her.
"That was incredible." Cameron whispered, lips still lingering just above Thirteen's, the urge to clash their lips together in yet another bruising kiss tempered by the urge to grab her clothes and run as far and fast as she could. She glanced around at her surroundings as if she were just now taking stock of the situation they were in.
Remy's eyes were pressed together so tightly she was seeing electric bursts of light on the insides of her eyelids. She brought a sopping hand up to cover them, to try to shelter them from the world without success. She knew the roles in this scene all too well, and this time she knew she wasn't going to be the one slipping away in a cloud of excuses. "Look, spare me the chitchat." Her hand slid down her face, dragging the skin down with it before it snapped back into place. "Just go."
Cameron paused, watching Remy, who was staring right back at her, gray eyes suddenly like steel. She swallowed, leaning forward to place a tender kiss to Thirteen's lips. She pulled away, eyes still shut as she committed the feeling to memory.
"There's a clean towel on the rack." Thirteen's fatigue shone through in her voice, and she shifted uncomfortably under Cameron's weight.
"I meant what I said. I care about you." Allison continued, reaching up a hand to trace Thirteen's bottom lip with her fingers.
Remy shut her eyes again, shut them against the lies she knew Cameron was telling herself, against the promises she'd make that would be broken if Thirteen allowed her to stay any longer. Cameron sighed, standing and wrapping herself in the large towel, wordlessly gathering her clothes. She lingered in the doorway for a second, glancing over her shoulder at Thirteen, still sitting in the cooled water, head now submerged completely. She briefly contemplated staying, pulling Thirteen out and getting her into bed, but she knew she'd already made a mistake by going as far as she had. She let her hand slip from the doorframe and left without another word.