A/N: Welcome to another story by me! Wow I'm doing way too many! This story may or may not be connected to my other stories. I'm not sure yet. For the moment I'm thinking it's a different universe than Irken in Love and Return to Irk but since it takes place before Zim ever gets to earth I don't think it will matter too much.

Just want to point out that this story is not just a look into a smeets life. After all it is a very special future tallest that is writing it, right? Why would it be boring and normal? For the first time I know where a story is going and this is going to be good I promise.

Anyway here's the first chapter! Enjoy!

My name is Purple! I am a smeet of the superior Irken race. I am currently in training to become a soldier.

Before you jump to any conclusions this IS NOT A DIARY! This is a practice report log… I'm keeping it because one of our teachers mentioned that keeping a journal was a good way to improve memory. Not that I need it! My memory is perfect! Not a single defect! So to reiterate, this is not a diary this is me killing the boredom of living in the undergrounds of Irk.

I got the idea to start it yesterday, but I can only write when we have our break from classes (once every 5-8 days) and when Red's not around because I don't want him making fun of me. Anyway as long as you understand that this is not some girly diary, and you promise not to tell Red anything that's in this, then I don't really mind if you inferior humans read it.

Ok! Here we go!

Year 5 Day 468

I think I grew another inch today! It's hard to tell though, since Red is the only one near my height. Today was as boring as every other day down here. I won't tell anyone I think it's boring though since I don't want to be compared with a certain someone.

Speaking of that someone, Red got in another fight with him. Stupid Zim… I mean how annoying does an Irken have to be before everyone admits they're defective?

Anyway we were running mock battles today and Red and I got paired up. He took command as usual. I don't mind letting Red be in charge, it is more fun to actually be the one fighting anyway. So while Red has to sit back and organize our team I get to beat up the shorter weaker smeets. I never fight as well as I actually could though. I don't want Red to realize that I'm better at fighting than he is. He gets so competitive.

Either way it's great when he and I get teamed up. It was even better since I got to show off my fighting in front of Almighty Tallest Miyuki who came to observe for the day. If I'm lucky she saw how great me and Red are, and will pull us out of the Underground early.

But yeah, our opponents for today? Yup! You guessed it! Zim and his little follower… umm… Skidge or something… I always forget his name… Not that I really try to remember. If he wants to be around Zim that makes him just as stupid. Though I guess he probably wouldn't be as annoying if he didn't always follow Zim. But he does so that's that.

The battle simulation started off like any other. Red organized our team so that while I flanked one side a few, not as good as me but still kind of good, fighters went to the other side. We had Zim's team totally outmatched. That annoying shorty doesn't even know how to lead. I kind of feel bad for the ones that get assigned with him. He runs them into the ground in the first two minutes.

Well he normally does. The Cheater… I hit Zim so hard for what he did. If his squeedlyspooch doesn't heal for another week I wouldn't be surprised. The cheater tried to rip Red's PAK off! Which not only is it against the rules! He went out of bounds to get around us to do it! Double Cheater!

And as if he couldn't get any worse, when he failed to remove Red's PAK, he pulled out a laser and shot Red! He wasn't even supposed to have a laser! He always cheats… and yet he never gets in trouble… it just isn't fair.