Work Text:
Title: Quiet Anger
Pairing: Church/Donut (POSSIBLY)
Description: There was minor defect with the Alpha, one the Director could never really fix. The other AI never had it, but the Alpha was stuck with the disability. After the Alpha is hidden away, such a minor issue is forgotten, left to rot in a file cabinet... but not for long.
A/N: See end for notes!
In short, a few people were curious about Church's silence. Some didn't give a shit, and some just wanted Church dead ("The only good Blue is a dead Blue!"). It didn't change the fact that one day, on a particularly hot day, Tucker and Caboose waltzed into the kitchen. The possibilities of this happening right at this moment on this particular day were about one hundred and twenty three to one. However, in no way did this stop Lavernius Tucker and Michael Caboose from entering the kitchen with only the most innocent of intentions.
Church snapped up as he heard Tucker and Caboose enter the kitchen, making him flinch as he heard Caboose's sharp intake of breath and Tucker's yelp. "What the fuck happened to your neck, man?" Tucker asked, staring with wide eyes at the older soldier.
Said cobalt soldier traced his gloved hands over his neck, feeling the odd, almost unnatural scars that sliced like ice across his throat, right where his vocal cords were. He gulped, then glared at Tucker hatefully. He flicked him off, locking on his helmet once more with a muted grunt. Without a word, Church stormed off, making a show of stomping his feet like a toddler and even tossing over the coffee table, causing everything to go flying. Both of the remaining blues watched him go, both equally as shocked by his scars and reaction.
"Dude… did you see his neck?" Tucker asked Caboose. "I mean, I've seen scars, but… that was so fucking weird!"
"He does not look happy," Caboose stated, pouting as he scratched his head in thought, jet black hair ruffling softly as it was disturbed. "His neck must feel bad."
"No shit." Tucker muttered, squinting a bit down the hallway where Church had exited through. "Geez, I wonder how that happened… whatever, I'll ask him later." He glanced around the room, scoffing and rolling his eyes. "Come on, Caboose; let's clean up after the big baby."
Caboose, however, wasn't listening; he was too busy running out the door to hear his fellow blue.
"Caboose!" Tucker yelled, glaring after him. "Dammit, I don't wanna clean this all up by myself!" He sighed, seeing that it was too late and that Caboose was long gone. "I can't believe I signed up for this bullshit."
"He had scars on his neck?" Donut asked curiously, staring at Caboose with curiosity in his eyes. "That sounds painful!"
"Yes, that is what I said to Tucker!" Caboose explained, making an odd face in concern for his best friend. "But now Church is upset, and I want him to be happy again; we should do something for him!"
Donut nodded in agreement, then pouted. "Aw man, but I've got patrol this afternoon. I can't… unless… oh, I'll just talk Simmons into doing it for me!" He suggested, picking up his helmet off the ground briefly, whispering in his message on the radio before turning it back off. "All of that practice messaging my friends in high school really paid off!"
In a matter of minutes, Simmons arrived in the caves that Caboose and Donut used to meet-up in, and had somehow dragged Grif along for the ride. Grif's helmet faced Simmons briefly, as if it would've been possible for Simmons to catch a glimpse of his hidden scowl, mostly coming from his anger for Simmons more or less forcing to come with him for… whatever the hell Donut wanted.
"Hey, Donut!" Simmons yelled as he entered, waving at the pink soldier. "What do you want? I was in the middle of something!"
"No you weren't; you were reading Harry Potter, again." Grif explained in a bored manner, crossing his arms stubbornly. "It was boring as dicks."
"I was in the middle of a book, meaning I was in the middle of something; a something can be a book!" Simmons argued back.
Donut smiled at the two soldiers, hands held behind his back. "I was in the middle of something too, I just need your help with it!"
Simmons suddenly paled. "If this is about your weird-ass roleplay thing, I already said-"
"It's not weird, also, that's not why I called you!" Donut yelled, pouting at Simmons sadly. "I just need you to cover for me on patrol today; me and Caboose need to make a cake for Church."
It was only then that Simmons and Grif saw Caboose next to Donut; the blue was smiling and waving happily at the Reds. "Ack! Donut, why didn't you tell us? He could have killed us by now!" Simmons explained, yanking out his pistol and pointing it at Caboose, his hands shaking a bit.
"No he couldn't; Caboose is unarmed." Donut explained helpfully, pointing at Caboose's gun holster, which was empty. "Besides, Caboose would never try to kill us… except at war."
"But this is a war zone!" Simmons screeched, his arms shaking only slightly as he still pointed at Caboose, who was unfazed by the immediate danger.
"Not in the Man-Cave it's not!" Donut proclaimed, spreading his arms in the air to indicate the whole cave.
Grif shrugged, unaffected by Simmons's obvious fear. "Whatever, not like anyone on Blue Team can aim… except maybe Tucker."
"How'd you learn that?" Donut asked, probably showing one of his world famous smiles behind his visor.
"Not in the way you're thinking, Donut." Grif stated flatly.
Donut shrugged. "I don't know what you're talking about." He remarked coyly.
"I'm sure," Grif said sarcastically, rolling his eyes. "Can we go now? I've got some Oreos back at base that are calling my name."
"You can eat later, fat-ass!" Simmons yelled, gun still pointed at Caboose; he then turned to Donut, looking almost apologetic. "Sorry, Donut; I can't do a favor that will benefit a Blue, if Sarge found out he'd never let me live it down."
Donut seemed horribly disappointed, his shoulders sagging and his head downcast. "Oh, man. Now what are we gonna do?"
"I'll do it" Grif suggested, relaxing on the ground in front of a rock bed.
Simmons was dumbfounded, "What? Why on Earth would you just offer to help Donut? For FREE?!"
"Patrol is the easiest job ever, duh! Is there any other job I can take a nap in the Warthog as far away from base as possible, and not get yelled at for it?" Grif shook his head. "Honestly, Simmons, use your head once in a while."
"But you'll be helping out the other team!" Simmons shouted.
"So?" Grif asked, shrugging at the taller man. "Not like it would matter; I'd do a shitty job either way. Besides, It's for Caboose! Just look at him, he's harm-"
"OH MY GOD, A SPIDER!" Caboose screamed, yanking the Auto-Rifle from Donut's hands and unloading a clip into the cave wall, successfully killing the spider. "Aw man, that... that was a close one, Captain Crunch." He said, panting as he messily handed back the gun. "Spiders are so scary..."
Everyone simply stood there, staring at Caboose with impossibly huge eyes beneath their helmets. "Uh... Caboose? How about... how about you just... go pick some flowers or something?" Donut suggested, just as baffled as his teammates.
All evidence of a spider's most foul murder were wiped from Caboose's stance at that suggestion, replacing the immense horror with an innocent air of joy and happiness. "Okay, Commander Crumpets!"
Grif stood there, watching the blue soldier run off, looking startled but slowly recovering. "Whelp, I'll... just go take that nap, er, do that patrol now..."
Simmons ran after Grif. "Don't leave me with them, asshole!" He screeched, sprinting to catch up to the other, much slower soldier.
Donut shrugged, smiling as his best friends ran off. "Man, you can't buy great friends like that, can you? Hey, Caboose, wanna make that cake now?"
Caboose glanced up, he was seated among a huge group of flowers, idly picking only the red and blue ones. "Okey dokey, Professor Pancake!" He replied, happily following Donut into Blue Base.
Church sat in his bedroom with his arms crossed, a scowl on his face, and silent huffs leaving his throat. He glared at one of the Star Wars posters on his wall, trying to stay angry, but for the life of him, he just couldn't. If Tex were around, she'd laugh at him for acting so immature about his muteness, to which he'd flick her off and sign some sort of highly inappropriate phrase. However, Tex was off on some sort of Freelancer mission or something, in short, she wasn't there, leaving Church sort of lonely. Sure, Lopez wasn't so bad to hang around, but he couldn't be hanging out with the Reds all day; people could get suspicious.
... He also didn't know Spanish, so that might've been a leading cause in their rather awkward 'conversations'.
"Church!"
Church made a muted groan, covering his ears; maybe if he didn't answer, Caboose would go away? Yeah, that was a good plan. So, Church sat there, quiet as a dead mouse (Because even mice make noises).
"Church!" This time, it sounded like that Donut guy from Red Team; to be honest, Church actually kinda liked him. "Church, me and Caboose made you a cake!"
Church rubbed his eyes, shaking his head; there was a ninety percent chance that Caboose helped, meaning said cake would likely kill him if he ate it. With a frown, Church roughly yanked on a turtleneck sweater, adjusting it to hide his neck so only the very tips of his scar would show. He shook his head again, figuring it would be dumb to even act like he appreciated the cake; he'd have to pretend to eat it, or accidentally eat it (Last time anyone did that, Simmons was sick with food poisoning for three weeks). With another muted groan, Church opened the door, scratching his beard as he stared up at both Donut and Caboose.
"Hey, Church!" Donut greeted, holding out the cake to Church happily. "We made you a cake."
Church nodded, accepting the cake; it was covered in pink frosting, with rose petals covering it. He almost dropped it as a worm crawled out, causing Caboose to, without blinking, take out his pistol and shoot it. The ring of the firearm rang out through the base, smoke now radiating out of the bullet hole in the cake; Donut looked to be far more tense, sweat dripping from his brow, Caboose was completely neutral though, smiling like a child on Christmas morning.
"Do you love it?" Caboose asked, giving Church a 'If you don't say yes, I'll cry' look, to which Church had to hold back his muted sigh.
Church wore a fake smile, exaggerating it's size, making it look sorta creepy. He nodded at Caboose's question, even sending him a thumbs up. Caboose grinned, hugging Church, ignoring the fact that he ended up smashing the cake between them and getting it everywhere. Donut almost looked disappointed that the cake was ruined, but smiled as well, joining in on the group hug. Church squirmed in the hold, but Caboose kept him there, his iron hard grip keeping Donut there as well; they were trapped until Caboose was done.
"Dude, am I interrupting some weird gay thing?" Tucker asked; the young man was standing in nothing but an aqua tank-top, brown shorts, and blue sunglasses that covered his grey irises; one of his eyebrows was raised, poking up above his sunglasses, he was sipping an orange soda pop with a teal curly straw in the can.
"Tucker, come join our super best friend hug!" Caboose ordered, smiling widely; Donut beamed, and Church was too busy brewing with anger at Tucker's comment to react too much. "Then we can be super best friends, all together!"
"Thanks, but no thanks." Tucker replied, sidestepping away when Caboose dropped Church rather abruptly, and Donut let go swiftly as Caboose attempted to force Tucker into a death hug of sorts. "Hey, fuck off, man!" The darker skinned man ordered, running away from Caboose, doing his best to continue drinking the soda as he absconded.
"Tucker, come back! We need to snuggle!" Caboose screamed, chasing after Tucker like he had the last cookie in the canyon.
"Fuck off, Caboose!"
"Receive your snuggles!"
"Get off of me!"
"Snuggles, Tucker!"
Donut smiled sweetly at Church, watching as he panted, barely regaining his stolen breath. "You sure do have a crazy family, huh Church?"
Church shrugged, tossing off his turtleneck, momentarily forgetting about his scars. Donut's eyes got wide, he gasped, it being very over the top and exaggerated. "Church, your neck!"
Church paused, huffing without a sound; he wrapped his turtleneck under his arm, nodding to Donut before he retreated back into his room, probably to grab another turtleneck, hopefully one that wasn't covered in pink frosting, mud, and worms. Donut watched the door close, frowning to himself, a pout appearing on his babyish face. Huh, so Church was covered in scars on his neck? That sure was strange... But, fortunately for everyone in the canyon, this was nothing that Double-O Donut couldn't solve!
He'd need some help though...
A/N: I'm only doing this in parts, just so y'all realize that it's not just gonna be one part. Also, please message me and tell me if this fic should be Churnut or not! Please R&R!
~CabooseHeart.