(A/N) so originally this was going to be a one-shot, but now it has 15,000+ words so that didn't really happen. So I split it up so you didn't have to read all of that in one thing... cool beans and such. Um... this is mostly a crack fic, but I am planning on making it into a series. Also Meg (main character) is an OC. That's all you really need to know, enjoy!

His name was Alfred. That was all anyone knew about him. He moved into our town right before senior year started. He didn't have any family, and we rarely saw him outside of school. He was a really sweet kid, but I wouldn't put it past him to pull a gun on someone. In fact, there were rumors that he kept a hand gun under that huge leathery jacket he always wore. We don't know where he came from, we don't know where he plans on going, and we don't know what the hell he's doing here.

All this accounting, he was still frakking sexy. He had shaggy, dirty-blond hair that he was constantly sweeping out of his eyes. He had gorgeous dark blue eyes that I often caught myself staring at. He did wear glasses, and typically I found that to be a setback, but holy hell I loved them. They just suited him perfectly. All my friends say I have a strange taste in men, and honestly I can't argue. But he still is gorgeous. Of course it's not like I have a crush on him or anything, it's nothing like that…. Okay maybe just a little. But you can't blame me! He's my lab partner in AP Chemistry so I think I've gotten to know him pretty well. Of course, he never talks about his past, I suppose I don't blame him. However, Ruby (my best friend) found out that I was sort of friends with him and now she's been egging me to get some backstory out of him. I can't betray him like that, can I?

Well, seeing as how I just walked in the door of my Chemistry class, I'd better choose quickly. Do I pry into his personal life, or do I try and be a decent friend? Oh gosh he's already here. Think fast!

"Hey, Meg!" He called. I smiled and sat down next to him.

"Hey, Alfred. What's up?" I'm trying to sound nonchalant. Am I overdoing it? I'm so screwed.

"Not a lot. My brother came down from Canada for the week, so we're meeting up for lunch. It should be fun, I haven't seen him in ages!" His eyes were brighter than I'd ever seen them. Also, I had no idea about this whole 'brother' thing.

"That sounds awesome! I didn't know you had a brother." This whole backstory thing was going pretty smoothly.

"Yeah, divorces are hard."

"Oh…" poor kid. My parents were happily married, so I really couldn't sympathize. "I'm sorry." I'm so lame.

"It's okay. It's been good for both of us." He smiled at me. I think I melted, but I'm not really sure. He has such a sweet smile… "Speaking of lunch, do you have plans today?" He thrust that on me rather quickly.

"Um… no, not really. Why?" dammit, why was I so awkward?

"Them would you come with me? I think you'd really like my brother." Was he asking me out? Granted, with his brother… but still! Was this a reality?!

"Yeah, sure, that would be fun." I smiled back at him. Was he intimidating? I'd never really noticed, but right now the palms of my hands were sweating something awful. What was it about him? He was just so different from other boys, no, just other people in general.

"Sweet! Meet me out front. There's a good chance Matt, That's his name by the way, will bring his boyfriend so, that doesn't make you uncomfortable, does it?"

"No, not at all." His brother was gay? What else? His boyfriend was an albino foreigner who was addicted to pasta?! What had I gotten myself into?

The bell rang for class to start. Fortunately, today was a lecture day, so I had an excuse not to talk and to stew in my own thoughts.

…

After class I found Ruby. She was onto me in seconds. "Spill."

"What?"

"Something happened in Chem, so spill."

I could feel the blood rushing to my face, which was a telltale sign that yes, something had happened. "Alfred asked me out…" I half whispered. The idea still felt weird to me.

"OH MY- WHAT?! Oh gosh what did you say? Where are you going?" Ruby was clearly overexcited. I had no doubt that by tomorrow morning the entire school would know.

"We're just going to lunch with his brother and his brother's boyfriend, so it's not that big of a deal."

"So he has a brother? OMG did you get backstory? Omg tell me nooooowwwwww."

"Chill out! No, no I didn't. Well, sorta. He has a brother who lives in Canada, and their parents are divorced. That's all I know! Promise!" I held my hands up to show surrender of sorts. Ruby was a little bit psychopathic at times.

"Hmm. Well. That doesn't really give us a lot of info," Ruby mused. Maybe I shouldn't have told her. Who knows what crazy nonsense rumors will pop up now? "But omg you're going out with him! You've only been dying to for like, ever!"

"Not forever, I've only known him for four months," I insisted. Which was entirely true. It's January eleventh today, so since school started in September(ish) it's been about four months.

"That's forever in teenager years!" Ruby insisted. I had to smile, she was so overdramatic. Which was okay, it suited her. "Now come on, we're going to be late for English." She grabbed my hand and began running down the hall. I sighed quietly. She would never slow down. Ever.

English was… well, English. AKA, boring. Also ridiculous. Why did it matter whether or not you could diagram a sentence? (Also there are no hot boys in English. Absolutely. None.) So when the dreaded class came to an end, I was extraordinarily relieved. Not to mention, my double-date with Alfred was now. NOW. Oh hell am I ready? Psychologically?

Ruby wished me luck and pushed me out the front door. I blinked. The sun was so damn bright. Did it really have to be there? I needed to find Alfred. Uggggg. There were so many people. There he was! The noonday sun was glaring off his hair and oh gosh, my hands were sweating again. I walked up to him. "Alfred?"

"Hold on just a sec, Mattie." He put a hand to the phone he was holding. "Matt's already there, and he's ordering. What do you want?

"Um, what is there?"

"It's a burger joint… so…"

"Um… well I'd like… something with bacon?" SOOOO LLLAAAAAAMMEE. That was me.

"Great." He put the phone back to his ear. "Also I need a bacon burger for my date." He sighed, "Yes, I got a date … Well I couldn't very well third wheel with you and-" he sighed again, "Just order the dumb burger Matt." He hung up and smiled sheepishly. "So, I may have asked you just 'cause I don't have a date and Matt does. I'm sorry…" he trailed off and scratched the back of his head nervously.

"It's totally fine." I smiled at him. Typically I would have been offended, but it didn't really bug me this time. Maybe I was more head-over-heels for this guy than I thought I was.

"Awesome. Right this way then," he grinned, grabbed my hand, and led me through the parking lot. So he had a car? Nice. When we stopped I realized it wasn't just any car. Alfred had somehow acquired a black '69 Dodge Charger.

I gasped slightly. "How did you get your hands on this?" I squeaked. I desperately wanted to run my hands over its glossy hood.

"I'm a bit of a collector," Alfred admitted.

"A collector? At eighteen?" I challenged.

"Yeah… well you recognized it."

I blushed. I blush a lot. "Well, I'm a bit of a car geek…"

"All the better. Climb in." He grinned, walking around to climb in the driver's side. I could barely contain my excitement as I got into the passenger's side. I was going on a date with Alfred in a sweet car. AND I was meeting his brother. Though I was not as insistent on learning about his life as some, I was still insanely curious.

We pulled into the parking lot of a little, locally run burger joint. My nerves were setting in again. I needed to relax. There was no way in hell I would make it through this date like this. No. Way. He took my hand again and we walked in. I'd been here before, and I loved the smell. Unlike most fast-food places, this one legitimately grilled its burgers, which made the whole place smell really nice.

Alfred glanced around. "Dammit, where is he?" He muttered.

"Oi! Al! Over here!" Alfred broke into a smile and guided me across the resteraunt. A blond boy ran to greet us. He looked a great deal like Alfred, except with slightly longer hair. And by slightly I really do mean only a little. The two brothers embraced. "It's good to see you, Al."

"Likewise, Mattie."

"HEY. Only I get to call him that!" The voice came from inside the booth Matt had previously been seated at, so logically, it had to belong to Matt's boyfriend. Remember my internal rant about Matt's boyfriend turning out to be some freaky albino foreigner addicted to pasta? Well, I got one thing right. He was German. Or from somewhere where they spoke German, but oh gosh his accent was thick.

"Chill, Gilbert! He's my brother, I can call him whatever I want!"

"Psssshhhh," A head popped out of the booth. TWO. I got TWO things right. 'Gilbert' was albino. Like, legitimately. His skin was paler than pale, his hair was snowy white and his eyes were red. Not cherry red, but sort of a maroon red. "Are you going to sit down or not?" he was smirking. Was he one of those people who just had a permasmirk that never, under any circumstances, left their face?

Matt smiled and tasseled the albino's hair. Alfred gestured for me to climb into the both, so I did. He followed me in. "So. Introduce me to your date." Matt smiled. He was so much quieter than his brother. And he seemed almost…fluffy. I know it sounds strange but that's the only way I can describe him.

"Matt, this is my friend Meg. Meg, this is my twin brother Matthew." Matt reached across the table and shook my hand.

"And I'm his awesome boyfriend, Prrr- GILBERT." The albino shook my hand vigorously.

"Nice to meet you two," I smiled at them. Or tried to. Dammit why was I so awkward?

"So, how are things?" Alfred asked as a waitress gave us our food. I decided to stay quiet, these two needed to catch up.

Matt winced. "Not great. I'm doing my best to keep all out war at bay, but I don't know if I can keep this up much longer."

Gilbert put his arm around Matt's shoulders. "You can handle this, you're too awesome not to."

"But what if I can't? What if Quebec leaves? I won't be French anymore! I don't want to stop being French. I don't want to let Papa down!" Matt's face collided with the table. Gilbert sympathetically patted Matt's back. I, for one, was genuinely confused. I mean, I knew that Matt lived in Canada, but he was talking like he owned the place! And if Quebec did secede, that wouldn't affect the culture of a single person, would it?

"Maybe we can talk about it at the conference tomorrow," Gilbert said.

"Conference? Wait, that's tomorrow? Dammit I totally forgot!" Alfred seemed pretty worked up over this. What kind of conference could he possibly be attending?

"School has just caught all of your tiny brain into its massive, swirling web of doom," Gilbert smirked (harder?). "I cannot understand why you would choose to go back."

"I hate to admit it, but it really has taken up most of your time. We had to push the meeting back until after you got out, and convincing Ger- Ludwig to hold the conference later was not easy." Matt turned an awful shade of red. Was he not used to telling his brother off? And what did they mean by 'going to school'? Had he not always been at school?

"It's just nine months. Then I'll be out. And I've already done four, so just be patient. Oh wait there's a meeting too?" he groaned. "I am so behind…"

"Yeah, at Francis' place."

"Great… what time?"

"Four."

"Can I come?" Gilbert gave Matt (very likely) his best puppy-dog eyes.

"No!"

"But I'm dissolved! I don't even have any influence anymore!" What the hell did Gilbert mean by "dissolved"? a person can't dissolve unless you soak their body in acid for several days… but that's beside the point. Clearly he wasn't physically dissolved, so what did he mean?

"Yes you do! You could go tell your brother everything that we said and-"

"Gosh guys, this isn't WWII anymore." How on earth is that a valid comeback?! None of us were even alive during WWII. Gilbert looked older; it's possible he was alive during the Cold War, but not the Second World War. Maybe it was just some inside joke. "And besides, do you really think I would betray Matt like that?" he asked, nuzzling the side of Matt's face with his nose. Matt smiled sheepishly as his cheeks turned hot pink.

"Gil!" he protested. I smiled. I tried to stop myself, but they were just so cute! "So Meg. We've been going on about our various ridiculous issues for a while, what's new with you?" oh no. I was required to talk? I was so terribly awkward… and lame.

I tried to swallow my introvertism. "Not a lot. I suppose the French Fair is coming up."

Matt's face lit up. "You speak French?"

I was totally taken aback. "Well, um.. not wonderfully but technically I can…" I stammered. See? AWKWARD.

"Don't listen to her. She's amazing. Top of the class." Why was Alfred defending me? Moreover, how the hell did he know that? He wasn't in ANY language classes, and I'm not aware that he's been stalking me. OH GOSH. Has he been stalking me?

"Really? That's awesome!" Matt's eyes were shining. He was really passionate about this whole "French" thing. Maybe it had to do with Quebec. No, that was ridiculous.

"Yeah, she's pretty great." Alfred smiled. "of course, she'd have to be, to be friends with me."

"Heeeyyyyy" I protested instinctively. The three boys around me laughed. I couldn't help but smile. There was something about the other two, something that set them apart. Possibly that same thing that had always set Alfred apart from everyone else. If only I could put a finger on what that was…

"This is delicious," Gilbert said through a mouthful of burger.

"Alfred recommended it," Matt said.

Alfred blushed slightly.

I repeat.

ALFRED BLUSHED.

Just a little, but I made my stomach do all these flip-flop things. And oh my gosh he's just too perfect to be real.

"Oh, hey Mattie. Can you… um… if you see Iggy before tomorrow, can you…" Alfred's blush depended to a dark red. "Can you ask him to bring my cat?" He looked down, obviously extraordinarily embarrassed. Gilbert tried to stifle a laugh.

"Your cat? Why don't you have it? Are you lonely?" gilbert's babying voice was so amazing. And by amazing I mean horrible. And by horrible I mean… humiliating. Oh gosh I shouldn't be laughing. Fortunately Matt was trying not to laugh as well…

"I miss him! I haven't seen him in four months! Just hold your smirk for two minutes and imagine that."

"It's okay Al. I'll tell him." Matt smiled sweetly, before his face screwed up in confusion. "But why does England have your cat?" Did he just say England? Wasn't that a country? I'm so confused. Gil and Alfred were obviously having similar feelings as I was, or at least that's how I translated them. Gilbert was staring him down as if willing him to remember something before jabbing him in the ribcage with his elbow.

Obviously that worked. "I mean Arthur!" Matt squeaked. "Why does Arthur have your cat?" he took care to emphasize the word Arthur. I was still confused. How does England translate to Arthur? I mean, Arthur is a pretty stereotypical Englishman's name, but that's no reason to call him England outright. Unless this had something to do with Matt talking about Quebec like he owned Canada... Which on second thought has no relation whatsoever. Maybe I do need to get screened for ADHD after all.

"It's because my apartment doesn't allow pets, and our cats get along really well, so I figured it wouldn't be too much of a hassle for him to take him… Gilbert why the hell are you snickering?" Alfred demanded before shoving the last bite of his third hamburger into his mouth. And if that wasn't enough, he had another one still waiting to be eaten. Honestly, if he ate like this all the time, it's a miracle he's not on the plus side of 300 pounds.

The albino was snickering something awful. "It's just... Your cats get along! Oh that's just too precious!" he exclaimed before bursting out in all-out laughter (that is, if you consider "kesesese" to be laughter). I didn't get it. Why was that funny? My aunt's cat got along really well with the cat next door. How was this any different? But, there seemed to be something. Al looked ticked, Gil was laughing his ass off, and Matt was trying REALLY hard not to smile.

That random, little, idiot, reckless part of me decided to speak up. "I didn't know you had a cat. What's his name?"

"Oh you're screwed now!" Gil blurted before laughing even harder.

"Uhhh…" Alfred threw Matt a 'help me!' glance, which Matt shrugged off. "his name is…" was he embarrassed? About his cat's name? they've all got ridiculous names, surely it can't be that bad. Alfred cleared his throat. "His name is Americat."

"Americat?" the word came out too fast. Oh no oh no oh no I'm screwed! I'm such a jerk! Dammit Meg you just don't question the manes of people's cats like that! Especially the cat of the cute boy you're on a first date with! Good grief girl, get a grip!

"Yeah…" Al sheepishly replied. "It's a long story." I don't doubt it.

"Ah. I won't pry then." I smiled as 'forget about it' as I could, but honestly I suck at cover stories. FRAKKING HELL I'M SO CURIOUS RIGHT NOW I'M GOING TO HURT SOMETHING. But I can't let him know that, I'll look like such an insensitive person! UGGGG why does this have to be so complicated?

As a side note, Al just finished his fourth burger.

He looked down at his watch. "Shit, we're going to be late. Thanks for lunch you two." Al and I stood up. I began walking out, but Matt started talking to Al.

"You're going to stay the night, right?"

"Can't. AP History test. Which I'm going to ACE by the way."

Matt giggled. "Just be careful on the essay questions. And don't write 'I' or 'that prat, England.'"

Al rolled his eyes. "I'll try to. Later dudes!" Alfred and I left.

Okay but why would anyone write 'I' on a history test? Was his an inside joke or something? They probably all were, but that's a lot of inside jokes. And ridiculous ones might I add. Then again, most inside jokes seemed ridiculous from the outside.

Once we were out of the building and driving back to school, Al apologized to me. "I'm sorry about them; you probably didn't understand much of that."

"No, not really." Alfred looked sad. Oh no. I've hurt his feelings. "But I had fun. It was nice meeting your family." I tried to smile reassuringly. I don't know if that worked, though.

"I had fun too," he smiled at me. Bloody hell he was adorable. "Do you want to do this again? I mean, not necessarily with my family, but you know."

"I would love to," maybe he's just as awkward as me. I'm okay with that.

"Great. I'm busy today and tomorrow as you know, but how about Friday?" he was asking me out again!

"Yeah that sounds great." Great was an understatement.

"Awesome. Do you just want to meet me after school then?" he asked as we pulled into the school parking lot.

"Sure, that works." It was all I could do to keep from squealing as we climbed out of his car and ran into the school.

"if you hurry, you might not be late." Al said as he took off. "See you, Meg!" he called over his shoulder.

"Later!" I replied before running to class.

…

Ruby needed to know all the details. Obviously. She begged, so I delivered. On the way home from school we discussed what any of these 'inside jokes' could possibly mean, and me also theorized what the meetings could be about.

We came up dry.

The best answer Ruby could give was that they were members of some secret agency. I have my doubts about that theory. Granted, I wouldn't really know so… I guess it's possible. A little ridiculous, but possible.

"Okay but was his brother hot?" Ruby asked.

"Uh, well he's Al's identical twin so yeah... he's also gay… maybe bi, I don't really know. He has a boyfriend." I stuttered. How exactly was I supposed to reply to that?

"Oh… is his boyfriend hot?"

"Yeah I guess. He's a German albino, so if you find that attractive then sure." Ruby looked down sadly .

"What odd people," she muttered. "But you're going out with him again on Friday. YAY." She threw her hands up in mock celebration. How did I ever become friends with her? Then again, she was the best friend I could ask for.

…

Okay so now I'm really confused. Al is always a super perky, smiley, happy person, but he's practically falling asleep. He stumbled into class just in time, and sat down with his head buried in his hands. He looks like hell. Except really, really… I don't know… he looks older. A lot older. That could be due to the outfit he's wearing. It's an interesting change from baggy jeans and a leather jacket. He's wearing – okay I only saw this for a second and I don't quite believe what I saw but this is what I saw – a tan, formal, military-looking uniform. Lots of pockets, strap across the shoulder, belt around the waist. Dress shirt, tie, dress shoes, and what looks like some variety of bomber jacket. It's brown and has sort of a fuzzy interior, with a star on the breast and a plane silhouette on the sleeve and oh gosh oh gosh oh gosh. Does this have something to do with that meeting? (also he looks majorly hot, so I'm not complaining.)

Right after class I decided to ask him about it. Which, in retrospect, maybe wasn't the best idea. BUT I DID. I walked up to his desk as we were all leaving the room.

"Morning Al." Welp. Ice officially broken.

"Morning Meg," he yawned. He was so cute.

"How was your meeting?" I guess straightforward works as well as anything.

"Just swell. We know what we're bringing to the table at the conference today, and Ivan didn't sit on Matthew once, so I think it went pretty well." He beamed.

"That's awesome!" Was that too loud? Oh gosh he was wincing.

"Sorry, massive headache. You know."

I nodded. Of course I knew. Headaches are the bane of humanity. He stood up, and almost fell back down. I caught his arm to steady him. He smiled at me and mouthed 'thanks.' I wonder if he's hung-over. No, that's ridiculous! He's eighteen for Pete's sake! Not that that mattered to some people… but I didn't even have that much evidence. Why was I dwelling on this? "So is this," I made a point of gesturing to his semi-ridiculous getup, "Part of the meeting?"

"Yeah, I got home way late and didn't have time to change. And by way late I mean 5 o'clock in the morning. Maybe riding a whale to France wasn't the best idea…" he mumbled as we walked to our next class. He was definitely hung-over. Or maybe still drunk. (high was also a possibility) because whales. You can't ride a whale to France, it doesn't work that way!

However, this whole show was making me even more curious about him and these ridiculous meetings/conferences.

At lunch, Ruby told me that I needed to find out.

"How?"

"Easy. Follow him."

"Apparently he rode a whale to France. It's not going to be easy to follow him that way."

"But he also said it wasn't a good idea, so he's taking a different way this time, right?" Ruby did have a point. And now there was no way I was getting out of following him. Granted the idea of discreetly tailing him to a top-secret conference did have a certain thrill to it.

"Okay fine, I'll do it. But if I get murdered by his friends when they turn out to be mafia members, my death is on your head." I tried my best to smirk at Ruby, and she just rolled her eyes.

"You'll be fine. It can't be that bad," she insisted, patting me on the back.

I wasn't so sure.