I am Lord …
Tom Riddle had been staring at this scribbled sheet of paper for some hours. He had been busy creating anagrams out of his name to create a title that would be feared for all of time. He needed the name of a new Dark Lord. Something scary and something exotic. He had always liked exotic things.
The first few lines of his paper read: TOM RIDDLE. The letters were crossed out multiple times.
Although his real name was Thomas, Jr., he refused to have that as his common name. If he had the choice, his name would be entirely different from his sperm donor's. So that was why he was creating for himself a title.
LORD
That one was easy enough. That left the letters T M I D E.
LORD TIMED
How horrendous. His enemies would always be on his back around the clock, nagging him at his poor 'timing.'
LORD DIMET
No. That sounded like a ridiculous take-off on 'damn it.'
LORD IT MED? LORD METID? LORD TEDIM?
Hmm…he would keep the latter one in mind.
And after a few more unsuccessful names, Tom threw the paper onto the floor and groaned with frustration.
"Is everything alright in there?" asked his roommate Lawrence Yaxley.
"Just perfect," he spit out.
Lawrence walked into the dormitory and unraveled the discarded parchment which lay on the floor.
"What are you trying to do?"
"Nothing of importance," said Tom seemingly indifferent, although he was peeved that his personal bubble was being violated. No one popped his bubble without being punished.
"'Lord Timed?'" said Lawrence mirthfully. "Trying for a different name? That sounds absolutely ruthless, I'm sure."
Tom snatched the paper out of his hands.
"That one was supposed to be crossed off!"
Lawrence chuckled a bit.
"Yes, but when you hold it up to the light, you can see the impressions on the paper."
"Shut up!"
"Are you still going off on the whole 'taking over the world' bit? You're getting somewhat behind the times if you ask me. Try something new for a change. How about 'I'm Lord Ted?'"
Tom stood up from his perch to pace the room. He stealthily snuck Lawrence a side-glance and said, "Obliviate!" because snooping was way overrated.
While his dorm mate was out cold, Tom bound and gagged him to the toilet bowl of their private lavatory, then gave him a hearty kick in the ribs for good measure.
"That'll teach you," he said.
Now, back to those anagrams.
Lawrence had suggested trying something new. That sounded like a good idea. Tom would claim the rights of that new idea while Lawrence was helpless and vulnerable in the loo.
He decided to add his middle name. It would be a very convenient move on his part.
TOM MARVOLO RIDDLE
First off, to extract LORD. That made him seem more powerful. He was eventually going to be a Dark Lord, so he might as well use the title. (Even Grindevald, whom Tom had thoroughly researched about, had not added a title to his name. Not a smart choice. Now he would only be a Dark Wizard, absolutely nothing close to Lord. It created a psychological advantage over his followers and over those who would soon fear him.) Tom sighed with content. He was always impressed by his own dark and intelligent capabilities.
And so Tom began his anagram search once again. Ultimately, he thought up the following:
I AM LORD
That eliminated a lot of letters. And it was very straightforward. He liked it.
There was a groan coming from the restroom, and Tom flicked a spell over his shoulder, which immediately rendered his hostage unconscious once again.
The letter left included: T M V O O R D L E
MOVORDLET
LORD VET MO…
He tried that one out:
I AM LORD LORD VET MO?
Alright, take that back. Not much for repetitiveness.
I AM LORD LOVE DROMET?
Oh you could feel the malice seeping through those words. Really.
ELORMDOVT
DERVO MOLT
DO MO TREVM
VERDLE TOOM
VODRELMOT
VOLDEMORT
DOLEMVORT
Tom stopped for a moment. Dolemvort. That sounded like a good name.
I AM LORD DOLEMVORT
Menacing, and kind of catchy too.
More powerful than Dumbledore by far. Quite the opposite of Dumbledore, too.
"Obliviate!" said a voice behind Tom, and he slumped onto the desk.
"Stupid git. Think you can Obliviate me any time, huh?" Lawrence Yaxley said to the knocked out body of Tom Riddle. Lawrence had received a special Rememberall from his godfather. So far, whenever Lawrence woke up in a strange place, he was near or by Tom when his Rememberall had gone off.
"Well, let's see how you like this."
Lawrence gagged and bound Tom to the toilet, face down, the same position he had been in when he had finally came to. He grabbed the piece of paper Tom had been clutching.
"Lord Dolemvort, huh? I don't think so."
Lawrence crossed of Tom's choice of name and took the name second to last on the list.
"Voldemort. What a dorky name!"
He got a quill and inked on that dorky sounding name on Tom's forehead.
Lawrence smirked, knowing he'd thoroughly enjoy Tom's humiliation later. As he stood up to leave, Lawrence felt a stab in his ribs. He touched it and took a sharp intake of breath. Then he kicked Tom in the ribs in the exact same area.
"See how you like that, Lord Voldemort," laughed Lawrence, and he closed the door on the unconscious body of Tom Riddle.
About fifteen years later, Lawrence Yaxley was never heard of again.