I have no idea what this is. It's OOC, most likely crap, but I just felt like it needed to be written. It's somewhat inspired by Mine a Helsa one-shot by princess34marth, but I didn't even realise it until I was finished writing. Well, I hope you guys enjoy it! Happy reading! Reviews and favourites are greatly appreciated! ;D
"I'm so mad at you," Hans growled through gritted teeth, fruitlessly trying to conceal the utter hurt in his emerald eyes.
"If only you had told me before," Elsa droned, her voice laced thick with tears and sarcasm. Hans only clenched his fists, as a hard lump formed in his throat and tears began to sting the back of his eyes.
"Is this funny to you?" he spat, stepping closer to her menacingly, "How can you joke about this?" Her blue eyes were wide with guilt and her usually pale skin had turned even more ghostly.
"I… I don't know," she stuttered, desperately holding back a sob, "I'm so sorry." She went to reach for his hand but he pulled away before she could make contact.
"I shouldn't have come back," and of all the things she had to say, why on earth was it that? He glared at her, his eyes clouded with tears, and never before in her life had she felt so… small. But right when she thought her only option was to run – as hard and as fast and as far away from him as possible – Hans' gaze softened. He must have noticed her trembling, or maybe it was the fact that she couldn't take a proper breath because she was crying too much, or maybe he just couldn't hide how very damaged she had made him. He closed the distance between them ever so quickly and grasped a hold of both her hands. Their eyes locked and in that moment she had never felt guiltier for leaving him in the first place.
"Why did you have to leave me?" was his dejected whisper and, check that, this was the guiltiest she had ever felt. All words were stuck in her throat as she couldn't hold back her sobs any longer, so instead she just shook her head vigorously before burying her face in his shirt. Elsa felt him envelope her with his strong arms and just the warmth radiating off of his body made her feel like she was home. He was her home. But something still felt wrong. So wrong that even though he would never forgive her, she had to leave again and stay away this time – forever. She squirmed her way out of his arms and quickly steeled herself before stating harshly,
"I have to go." And she could practically see his heart break in those piercing green eyes that, as of the past three months, were constantly bloodshot from crying, being hung-over or lack of sleep.
"What?" Hans choked out in a barely audible whisper, overwhelmed by Elsa's sudden coldness, "Will you be back?" He felt stupid for asking but some pathetic part of him still had a glimmer of hope that maybe they could be happy together. She shook her head, terrified that if she spoke her icy façade would crumble into dust. It was as if she were watching a part of him die – and maybe a part of him was – because he let out a humorless chortle before finding the nearest thing that could smash and threw it to the ground. She jumped as the poor, unfortunate vase met the wooden plank floor of his dingy New York apartment. His breathing had become ragged and his chest heaved and it was only then that she realized that he had begun crying. She wanted to help him. She wanted to comfort him. She needed to get out of there. Yet still, she didn't move. Some unknown force keeping her rooted in place. Her eyes went unnaturally wide as he began throwing more smash-able things against the floor, and the walls. Funny, she thought, I'm usually the one throwing things. He started pacing mid tirade before striding over to Elsa, and she felt ever so slightly afraid for her life. He looked like a mad-man with tears running down his face, his fiery red hair an ungodly mess and his breath reeking of whiskey as he pointed his finger at her, desperately trying to find the right words.
"Why the Hell would you come back here if you were just going to abandon me yet again?" he snarled, slurring only a few words, because it was only now that she finally recognized his mannerisms when he was drunk and angry at the same time. I have been gone for too long, she mused, I don't even know him like I used to.
"Was it to just torment me even more than I've already been?!" with the amount of shouting and throwing Hans had been doing, she was surprised someone hadn't called the cops yet, "Why the freaking Hell are you not saying anything?!" Only then did he get a proper response out of her as he raised his arm as if to strike her. He stopped himself – some common sense actually kicking in – but it didn't stop Elsa from stumbling backwards, in preparation for the blow. She fell down hard on her rear with her left hand embedded with the razor sharp remains of what used to be a crystal glass. She winced as she saw the thick shard wedged in the flesh of her palm. It was a gory sight and it was only when she felt herself blacking out that she looked away. Hans was by her side in an instant, muttering out a string of apologies as he willed himself to check the severity of her injury.
"God, Elsa. I'm so sorry," he croaked, his throat raw from shouting earlier, "What have I done? I'm so so sorry." She turned her head to meet his glassy eyes and she gave him the warmest smile she could muster.
"It's okay," she whispered, the searing pain from her hand combining with her close proximity to Hans overwhelming her, "It was my fault. I just tripped."
"Because of me," he muttered, blinking back a few tears before helping her to her feet.
"No. This whole night was my fault," she admitted as she was guided to the bedroom. It was messier than she remembered it to be, but there was still that familiarity that made her feel safe. She found herself being sat down on the bed and faintly heard Hans tell her to "drink some of this" as she was handed a flask. She gulped down, what she found to be whiskey willingly as it numbed the pain slightly. It didn't stop the room from spinning though. It also didn't stop her from feeling nauseous.
"This is going to hurt," Hans muttered, as she felt an intense pain stemming from her hand. A few stray tears dripped down her face as she cried out in agony. She heard him say something along the lines of "I'm so sorry" as she continued to whimper. She didn't even realize how much blood there was until she accidentally caught a glimpse. Black spots plagued her vision as she felt a severe sting as Hans cleaned her wound. She passed out not a second later.
Elsa woke up to find herself in bed with her hand neatly bandaged up. She smiled softly as she took in her surroundings. She was in Hans' room – more like closet – as the early morning glow softly lit the room. She swiftly got out of bed and crept the few steps into the living room. She saw Hans sleeping soundly on the couch even though he was practically falling off it. Her heart ached as she picked up her shoes and stalked out of his apartment. Elsa delicately smoothed out any wrinkles on her dress that would come from sleeping in it, before walking silently down the hallway. It had taken her until she hit the sidewalk before she started crying. She had left him again. She had broken his heart again. And he wouldn't even know it. Not until his alarm would go off at 5:45 at least.