A/N: I wrote this awhile ago and cleaned it up for posting. Just a random thought I had when I realized that Tali would be born around the same time as Tony (using the dates that have been provided on the show). Floofy Fluff Fluff, you've been warned.
May 2016
"Junior!"
For the love of God Dad just do whatever it is you want to do, Tony sighed, hitting his head against the rim of the washer. He flung the lid shut and spun the dial, not even caring. How did one little kid go through so many clothes? He understood now why her go-bag had enough dresses, leggings, and t-shirts to last ten years. They had only lasted about five days. "What?" he casually asked, trying not to sound exasperated. After all, Senior was trying. He'd seen more of his father in the last week than he'd seen of him in the entire year. He didn't know what he'd do without his father's help, but hell, no matter what, he was exhausted. There was so much to always be doing, whether it be cleaning, preparing, or playing with Tali. He'd much rather be playing with her like Senior was, but instead he was doing another load of Tali's laundry.
He sniffed and frowned, plucking at his shirt, rolling his eyes. Ugh. It'd been two days since he washed this shirt. He sighed and pulled it off, throwing it into the washer as well. He turned to the closet and moved to pull another one from the dresser contained inside of it. He couldn't find a clean one so he just picked up a shirt from the laundry basket in his room. It didn't smell as bad as the other one. He rubbed at his jaw, which was sporting a rather impressive amount of scruff now. Funny how you forgot things like showering and shaving when you were chasing a toddler around.
He walked into his living room, which was in a strange state of half-packed and bomb-went-off. There wasn't an empty space in a foot's distance from the next pile of crap. He scanned the room on instinct, spotting Tali propped in the tiny bright pink armchair he'd bought her so she had somewhere for her to sit in his clearly adults-only apartment. She was watching Cinderella, clutching Kelev against her chest. She spun around and grinned, waving at him. "Hi Abba!"
He waved back, smiling in spite of himself. It had been almost a week and a half of being an Abba. It surprised him now and then when she used that word, directing it straight at him. He'd only ever heard it from her mother, usually in a sad or angry tone, depending on the mood she was feeling with respect to her 'abba.' "Hi Tali," he greeted her. He glanced at her shirt, sighing. There were cookie crumbs and spilled chocolate milk on it. "I'm going to have to buy you another wardrobe."
"Okay." Of course she'd like shopping.
He smiled and ruffled her dark curls, looking over to the dining area where his father had to be since he wasn't in the living room. "Dad? What did you want?"
"She keeps saying something," Senior said, coming out of the kitchen with a cup for Tali. He passed it down to her. "There you go sweetheart, grape juice."
"Toda."
Senior was about to ask again what that meant, when Tony just scrubbed his face. "Means thank you."
"Oh."
"What were you yelling about?"
"I was just going to book our flights for Tel Aviv and realized that I didn't have Tali's passport and we don't even know her birthday." Senior gave him a disapproving look. "That's something a father should know, right?"
Birthday? That was the last thing that had been on his mind, but the second he heard his father say it he felt kind of stupid. He should know his daughter's birthday. He felt a hollow pain in his stomach, like he felt when he thought about what had gone on over two weeks ago, when he didn't know about her existence. The pre-Tali years as it were. She was almost two, she had to be, biologically speaking. He blinked a few times. Nine months…he did quick math in his head and frowned a bit. Unless Ziva was four months pregnant when he left her in Israel, which he doubted because he'd have noticed before he left, then…. " Her birthday should be in July," he blurted out, walking straight to the file that Orli had shoved in the side of the stroller when she'd unceremoniously left him with Tali in the NCIS conference room. He hadn't looked at it. He'd been preoccupied with trying to know his daughter.
I guess since we are about to embark on international travel I should know these things. He walked back to the living room and sat down on the edge of the couch, dropping the file on the coffee table. Tali wandered away from her chair, walking to lean against him. He wrapped his arm idly around her, kissing the top of her dark curls. When he was in the room she didn't like leaving his side. It had bothered him, because along with her heart-wrenching sobs for her mother, she lost it when she couldn't get to him, even if he was in the other room. Dr. Cranston said it was completely common for children who had lost loved ones. That was good to know, but still, he wished it didn't have to be. He opened the file and smiled at her. "We're going to figure your birthday out," he said.
Tali said something in Hebrew. He had downloaded several language apps and was reading books he bought on learning the language. He knew enough, from his attempts to learn when he made a conscious decision post-elevator that he was going to elevate his relationship with Ziva. He just wanted to brush up. "What's that?" he asked her, unsure of the word she was trying to say. It was hard enough to learn a new language let alone from a two-year old.
She repeated it and he managed to figure she said something like "Huledet." He blinked a few times and it dawned on him as she repeated it, frustrated when he didn't understand her. He had a flash, a memory of a few years ago, her mother throwing a box at him with a pink bow on it and wishing him "Yom Huledet" in a sarcastic tone and saying he better like his gift or she'd stab him with it.
"Birthday!" he exclaimed.
Like she did when he translated a Hebrew word into English, she repeated it, staring straight at his lips, watching how he said it. "Bir-day," she repeated.
"Very good Tali." He kissed her head again. "Yes, birthday. When you were born." A pang hit his stomach again. Tali's birthday…he wanted to know so much. What happened when she was born? Was she early or late? Did she come in the morning or evening? He remembered Palmer telling the story of Breena, how he'd laughed off all her curses and threats that she was going to kill him. Did his ninja think just like that? Was she cursing him for putting her in that position? He wondered how she would have handled giving birth. Would she have just swallowed the pain and pretended it didn't happen or did she actually feel it?
He had so many questions he'd never know the answer to, so he just tried to push it back in a box in his mind and move on. He tugged a manila envelope towards him with the US State Department's seal and dumped its contents onto the coffee table, unearthing two passports. One dark blue with the Menorah of Israel and the other dark blue one with the friendly eagle seal of the United States. "Here it is."
"You haven't looked at this stuff yet Junior?"
"Gee Dad, I've been a little busy." He didn't realize the paperwork that came with leaving the government. He'd had to deal with the bank to move money around for the next few months and he'd needed to set up his contacts in Israel, among other things. He flicked open the US passport, smiling at the cute little picture of Tali, beaming up at him. "Aw, look at you. So cute."
"Kiss," she demanded, which was something he'd discovered she did each time he commented on how cute she was. He wondered if it was something Ziva did with her and she had a habit of it. He obliged, kissing her nose and she giggled.
"Well let's see here Tali Bear, your birthday is…" he trailed off, blinking at the date.
Senior walked over and took a seat beside him. "So when does my little peanut turn two? Should we be getting her gifts now?" He took the passport from Tony's limp fingers and stared at the date. "July 18, 2014." He frowned, his forehead wrinkling as he thought about that date, tapping the passport in his hand. He turned and scowled sideways at his son. "Why does that sound familiar to me?"
Oh God Dad, really? He turned to square off against his father, in an almost identical pose. "Really?" he demanded. He pushed his finger against his dad's forehead. "Think for a second."
Took just that long before Senior's eyes widened. "Oh! Oh! That's your birthday!"
"Duh Dad! That's my birthday!" He laughed and scrubbed at his face. Unbelievable.
"What are the odds?" Senior wondered. He frowned slightly. "I guess you could get McGee or Abby to crack it for you, but wow son. That's cool. You and Tali have the same birthday." He clapped his hands, laughing. "Well we'll definitely have to have a party this year!"
Oh Dad, no, he thought, shaking his head. He wasn't someone who really celebrated his birthday. He was always on break from boarding school, living his own version of Sixteen Candles every year. Senior never remembered, not after Mom died, and when he did, he usually just gave him a wad of cash and forgot about wherever he was. The best birthday was his 16th when he'd taken Senior's Jaguar out for a spin while they were staying in upstate New York at some rich tycoon's manor. He'd crashed it and walked away, not giving a damn what happened to him.
Tali grinned up at him and wrapped her arms around his chest. "Huledet," she repeated. Birthday.
"Yeah, birthday," he chuckled. He wondered if Ziva knew. Of course she did. Every year on their birthdays she always got them a little gift. McGee, Abby, and Gibbs received nice presents. He always got something stupid. Now he realized it was her way of trying not to show she cared about him too much. Another hollow pain hit him. If she knew they shared the same birthday and she…she still didn't tell him? He couldn't think about that. He reached for Tali and lifted her up onto his knee, tapping her nose. "We have the same birthday."
"Bir-day?"
"You're gonna' be two, can you show me?" He held up two fingers and she mimicked, grinning. He smiled and pushed the thoughts from his mind. Did Ziva give her a big party when she turned one? Was she planning on another when she turned two? He wrapped his arm around her tighter. He didn't know where they'd be by the time July 18 rolled around, but he had his hopes. "Wow, that's a big number."
"Bir-day!" Tali laughed, throwing her arms in the air. "My bir-day, my bir-day!"
"Not yet," he said. "Couple months." He slouched back in the couch, frowning. "What are the odds?"
Senior laughed with him and clapped his arm. "Guess you both were meant to be father and daughter."
Guess we were. He looked at his phone, which was buzzing beside his hand. He turned it over and saw a text message from Schmiel, who said he would be in Israel next week after finishing a lecture series in England. He wanted to see Tali. We have much to discuss Tony. I will tell you all you need to know. Need to know, he sighed. Those Israelis and their choice of words. He'd run through his entire conversation with Orli in his head. She'd not once said 'dead' or 'killed.' Nothing finite. Mossad loved to lie, but he knew Orli's weak spot the moment he'd accused her of doing nothing. She wouldn't lie about this.
"What should we do now?" Senior asked. "We definitely need to have a party."
"We'll see where we are Dad."
"No Sixteen Candles this year."
He laughed, picking up Tali and threw her into the air, delighting in her squeals as much as she did in getting hoisted up high. "How do you know that movie?"
"John Hughes is a genius, son."
Can't argue there, he thought, cradling Tali in his arms, laughing when she wished herself Happy Birthday again. He grinned at her and tipped her upside down, her hair falling over her eyes as she laughed hysterically. "We're going on a trip and I promise, when it's your birthday, you'll have a much better time than I ever did on mine."
"Now Junior I remember when you turned 17, you got a nice donation to your bank account."
He didn't have the heart to tell his father that the bank had repossessed that account once he'd turned 18, because of one of the bankruptcy filings. He just spun around in circles with Tali, wondering what he should buy his daughter when she turned two. There was only one thing he wanted to get her and he just hoped that it wasn't a fool's errand. He suspected there was only one thing Tali wanted as well. I'm going to try, he promised her silently, falling backwards onto the couch, lifting her high into the air again, grinning at her happy squeals. At least he could do that much for her.
July 2016
A pretty successful day if I do say so myself, Tony thought, yawning as he dropped off the step from the living room, through an open set of French doors, and onto the patio, which was strewn with pink and purple streamers, paper plates, cups, and remnants of birthday cake. A banner hung between two trees, written in sparkles 'Happy Birthday Tali!" He knelt and lifted up a piece to her new tea set, placing it on the table. "Well Tali," he sighed, taking another piece of it up and beside the other. "I think it is safe to say that you are pretty set on Disney DVDs, stuffed animals, and everything else a two-year old could possibly want or need." Tony hefted the weight of the entire series of Harry Potter books, setting the box on the table. "You can't even read these yet." Her aunts and uncles had done some significant damage at the D.C. toy stores. God only knew how much it cost them to ship this stuff over. He heard a soft laugh behind him and smiled before he turned around. "What?"
Very slowly he turned, taking in the sight before him, leaning against the table, his arms crossing. He smirked, his eyes roving up the rather French image in front of him. She lay stretched out on a chaise, on the terrace of the French farmhouse, one arm over her head and her ankles crossed rather primly, laughing at him. Ziva drew her knee up and wrapped her arms around it, sitting up slightly. "Come here," she ordered, her voice husky. The dim light from the house sparkled in her dark eyes.
"No," he said, just to see what would happen if he disregarded a direct order. He knelt back down and swept up wrapping paper, glancing at Tali, who was on the other chaise, wearing her princess dress, fast asleep and crashed out from birthday cake and unwrapping presents. The silver 'Birthday Girl' tiara she wore had fallen over her forehead and she clutched Kelev against her. He wanted to take her upstairs but she looked so comfortable. He glanced back at Ziva. "She's got the other spot. Where am I supposed to sit?"
There was a single quirk of Ziva's eyebrow to answer his question. Well then, if you insist, he thought, grinning as he moved to lay beside her, laughing as she giggled when he crushed her against the chaise, lying almost clear on top of her. "Get off," she laughed, pushing at his shoulders.
"Well you did say I could sit here."
"Hmm," she murmured with a nod, her eyes still sparkling. She pulled at his shoulders and moved so they were lying on their sides, her leg flung over his hip and one arm around his shoulders. She stared at him for a moment before dropping her eyes down to their hands, settled between them. She moved her other hand so she could thread their fingers together. She squeezed hard, her eyes downcast, and her voice quiet. Hesitating slightly. "I wanted to give you…your birthday present." She lifted her eyes to finally meet his again. She was so serious. "Um…I was waiting to tell you."
"Tell me what?" he whispered. His heart started to thud. He had a feeling. He squeezed her hand back, reassuring. Whatever she wanted to tell him, he didn't think it could be bad. They'd been through enough. They didn't have anything to hide from each other ever again. She hesitated again and then bit her lip. Ziva was never this nervous. Not even when she found them, waiting at the café in Paris where they had frequented when they visited. "It's okay," he whispered. "Just tell me."
"Well…" She began and then stopped. She released another breath and swallowed hard. "My…my original due date was July 10," she said. Her free hand idly went to her stomach. The only hint he'd seen of her ever having given birth was the almost imperceptible swell of it when she stood in profile. You'd only notice that if you knew every curve of her body before, which he did. He'd spent years studying her. She stroked it, her fingers dancing across the ribbon of flesh visible beneath the hem of her t-shirt. She focused her attention on their joined hands while she spoke, somewhat shakily. "Israel is hot in the summer, but…when you are pregnant…I did not realize. I almost drowned in my shower every day."
It took him a second. She was going to tell him about Tali's birthday. Oh wow. Okay then. This was big. He couldn't imagine what this was going to do to her. To talk about a time when she had consciously kept their daughter from him. She'd told him, after they had reunited, that she was sorry for it but he had to know that all she had been hearing from D.C., from her "sources" although he had no idea who they were was that he was happy and had moved on. They never spoke of it again. "Ziva," he whispered, shaking his head. He didn't want this to hurt her. "Don't…"
She shook her head hard, defiant. "No I need to tell you his and you need to know. You are her father," she whispered. She finally met his gaze. Her eyes were dark and intense. "You must know this. Now listen to me."
"Okay." There was no stopping her when she had her mind set on something. "Go on."
"Thank you." She tossed her hair out of her eyes. When he'd found her in Paris, she had dyed it deep auburn, but it was back to its molten chocolate brown, just like Tali's. Short bangs brushed sideways over her forehead and she blew them from her eyes again. "So anyways as I was saying…I was more than ready for her to come. I had a bag packed, in case there were problems. I wanted her born at the farmhouse, just like I was. It was my one request. Schmiel took me to the doctor because I couldn't drive anymore."
"I bet you didn't like that," he whispered, smiling.
She glowered at him. Ha, I knew it, he thought. "It does not matter."
"How'd he get you to give up the keys?"
"The doctor said it was not good for the baby." She said it so matter-of-fact, so clearly, without any comment on how she hated it when other people drove or when she was told she couldn't do something. He realized, as he had in the last month and a half, since he found her, was that "Ziva the Ima" was a different person. One he loved as much as all the other Zivas, if not more. Whatever they told her she had to do to ensure Tali's safety and health, even if it inconvenienced her, he knew she would have done it. Including giving up driving. Ziva the Ima would kill ten thousand times over for her daughter, going to any place she could if it meant protecting her. As she already had. "Anyways," she said, flicking her fingers at him lightly. "Let me finish and stop interrupting."
"Okay, keep going."
"Schmiel took me and the doctor said that Tali was still waiting. She said sometimes first babies are late. They can be rather annoying like that. I assured her given Tali's DNA she would be perfect, but with…" She smiled, her lips turning up happily. She giggled again. He forgot Ziva could giggle, something she did often, especially when Tali was concerned. "With some stubbornness courtesy of her father."
"All you, not me."
"Anyways," she laughed. "She told me that she would give me 10 days before I had to return and to induce labor. I did not want this at all. Schmiel took me home and said he had to go to Rome for a conference but would be back in a week, he hoped the baby would be born then. A week passed and nothing. I told him not to worry. I would be fine. The midwife would come when I went into labor and Tali would not be 10 days late, because I had asked her not to be. Keep in mind I was drowning every day in the shower, I could hardly breathe most days, and had not seen my feet in months."
"I would have paid good money to see that."
She covered his cheek with her hand, smirking and then laughed. "She was one week. Eight days. I had back pain, which I thought was just because I was so huge. I went on a walk every morning, because even a week late baby was not going to stop me from being healthy and making sure Tali was healthy too. I was in the olive grove and I heard a car coming up to the front. I went to see who it was." She smiled softly and quieted. "It was Orli Elbaz."
He blinked. "Orli was there?"
"Yes. She had checked up on me numerous times. I think she just wanted to check on me the one time. I made a mistake and told Adam where I was, just to make sure someone was aware in case something happened. He must have told Orli. In any case, when she found out about the baby it was probably mostly for curiosity…. loyalty to my dead father, I do not know what prompted it, but she kept visiting." Ziva paused. She smiled again as the memories spilled out into words. "I was angry to see her. I just wanted the baby out. I was so tired. Hot…I missed you. I missed everyone. I just wanted to start my new life as a mother, I had been looking forward to it from the moment the doctor told me I wasn't just sick but pregnant. We were in the olive grove when my water broke."
"What got it to break?" he asked.
She shrugged and then laughed. "Anger. I was yelling at Orli for being there, crying because I wanted you there and was wrestling with whether to call you, and lonliness...I was lonely. I wanted the baby. I just wanted her there in my arms and I shouted to God to just send me a sign that I would be ready for the baby…then I felt a terrible pain and Orli said my water broke."
"Ziva David, tempting fate since day one."
"I suppose so," she said with a faint smile. She shrugged again. "Orli got me inside, she called the midwife, and then she didn't leave. I wanted her to leave so much. The woman who ruined my parents' marriage, who used my father…why was she there, you know? I think though that she wanted a family. I think she wanted children and she had a career instead and maybe she regretted it I do not know, but she wanted to stay and as much as I wanted to remove her from my home I was in no position…I was giving birth, I couldn't have forcibly removed her if I tried."
"You were pregnant," he said. He liked to say that. He grinned, teasing her about something he'd wondered since she made the comment about not seeing her feet. "And you were probably very fat."
"I was not fat!" she laughed. She rolled her eyes and continued. "Tali took her time. I went into labor July 17. I gave birth to her at nine in the morning on July 18. Almost 18 hours of labor. She was hard. She did not make it easy. Just when the midwife thought she was ready, she wanted to stay inside. I feared she wanted the comfort and safety as opposed to the rest of the world, but…she finally came and when she did, she was beautiful." Her voice softened and she seemed to transport to another world, faraway, deep within her memory. "She was perfect. Seven pounds and six ounces. The midwife put her in my arms and I knew she was mine. Ours. The way she looked." She hesitated and tears began to leak out of the corners of her eyes. Oh no, no, no, don't cry! He reached to wipe them away, but she pushed his hand aside, sniffing as they came faster now. Her voice was thick with emotion. "And Orli said she was going to call you. She knew, I never told her but of course she knew, and she said she would call you if I did not. I said that I would. I was going to call you. I planned on it and…and after I fell asleep…."
What, he thought, frowning as he watched her hesitate. "Who did you talk to?" he whispered. He had his suspicions. Her 'source.' Someone who loved him and wouldn't want him hurt, but knew more than he thought she never knew about his relationship with Ziva. There was one person in their family who made it her business to know everything about everyone.
She shook her head again and sobbed, covering her eyes with her hands "Please don't be upset with her." She dropped her hand from her eyes and blinked at the tears furiously. "I woke up and had the phone in my hand. Tali was in my arms and I had the phone and I did not call you."
"Why not?" he whispered. They agreed not to talk about it again, but she was bringing it up, as part of the story she was telling.
"Because." She sniffed and wiped at her eyes, angry with herself for crying. "Because I talked to Abby."
Of course. "You talked to her?" he whispered. He had no idea. Abby never said a word about it. Didn't even hint at it…he knew why though. He had his suspicions. "I…I didn't know she was talking to you."
"Once or twice. She did not know," she immediately said. She shook her head. "I made sure of it. The first time I was six months pregnant and I sat at the table and she did not see, in the Skype thing. I talked to her a few weeks before Tali was born and I said that…that I was thinking of speaking to you and…and all I could think of was her telling me that you were moving on and you were getting better. You had been sad and upset and not the Tony that they all loved. She said if I reached out to you I might make you go back to how you were again. If I loved you that I wouldn't do it." She sniffed again and then let out a soft sob. "I think she always knew, but…I confirmed it for her." She lifted her face and he saw how miserable she was. He reached for her cheeks and cupped them in his palms; his thumbs brushing at her eyes. Don't cry; don't beat yourself up, he thought. It was over and done. They couldn't go back in time. If they could, he'd have told her he loved her after Paris. That was when he figured it out.
She gripped his wrists, her fingers tightening and whispered. "I wanted so much but…I loved you and I didn't want to upset you. This would just…you were happy she said. You were getting better and I did not want you to leave NCIS or your family."
No matter how many times she said it, he didn't care. They couldn't change it, but he just wished they hadn't missed out on it all. Timing had never been their strong suit. "You are my family," he said. She had always been his family. He pulled her closer to him, touching his forehead to hers. "I love you Ziva. Since Paris." She laughed at that, sniffling. He smiled. "It's true. We can't go back, so don't beat yourself up about it."
She nodded quickly, wiping at her eyes again. "I know."
"Clean slate, we agreed." Before they embarked for the farmhouse, in Normandy, they agreed. They vowed they were doing things differently and were not going to live in the past, they would start over and not hold anything from before against each other. They were a family again. Everything wiped clean.
"After…" he trailed off, closing his eyes briefly. He was taking his own advice. Don't think of the what ifs, what if she had called him. If he'd left everything and come back to Israel like he wanted to do the minute he landed in D.C. He chuckled and looked over at Tali, who was snoring. A little habit she'd inherited from her mother. "After she was born. Then what did you do?"
"Oh well, she was so perfect…she was a good baby. I was worried she might be like some children I knew who had colic or didn't sleep or would not eat or anything like that. She was quiet. She ate, she slept…she did what babies did. The first time she grabbed my finger I cried, she was so strong. I missed her when she wasn't near me." She glanced at Tali, whispering. "It wasn't until I fed her for the first time that night…I started crying. Orli was there. She thought it was the emotions. I felt like I was on a wobble-totter."
"Teeter-totter," he breathed, his heart skipping each time he heard her mess up something in English. He had missed that so much.
She waved her hand. "Whatever they are called. They were up and down and I felt everything. Orli thought me feeding her the first time caused my tears but it did…sort of. That was when I realized it was your birthday too. The both of you had the same birthday and that…that was when I just knew that she was meant to be in my life. You were meant to be in my life." She bit her lower lip, smiling to herself. "I had a birthday party for Tali when she turned one."
"You did, huh?" he chuckled. What was that like, he wondered.
"Yes," she said. She laughed again, moving closer to him, her arms looping over his neck. She looked around at all the presents and wrapping paper. "It was not like this. I made her a small cake and I invited my friends."
The friends she had left behind, he thought, frowning slightly. "Who came to her party?"
"Oh, just some people who lived on the olive grove near the farmhouse. One woman had a little boy close to Tali's age. Orli, Schmiel, and some of my friends from the IDF who I reconnected with when I…when I started over." She shrugged. "I was not in any…mommy classes or whatever. I found them to be silly." She narrowed her eyes, growing cagey. "And…and Tali did too."
"Oh Tali thought they were silly?"
"Yes. She is too smart for the other children."
Sloppy of her, she just negated her own statement. Ziva knew better than to lie so blatantly. "Oh yes, I believe that, but she likes other kids…" he trailed off and narrowed his eyes. She looked away from him, still standoffish on the topic. Ziva David. You didn't…"You're lying."
"I am not!"
"You were asked to leave weren't you?" She blinked and said nothing. He grinned. "You were asked to leave Mommy and Me classes. Why? Get mad at the other moms? Too much Lululemon and chai tea lattes? What?"
Her lips pursed and then she sighed, dejected. "Tali bit another kid."
"No!"
"She is too smart for other children and she was frustrated. So she bit him."
"Him?"
"I believe a little boy named Daniel Rosenfeld how do you say, he put the moves on our daughter and tried to give her a kiss on the nose, she did not take to him and responded."
"Much like her mother."
"I never bit you."
His eyes widened and he stretched out his arm, pointing to a rather unnoticeable scar on his forearm. "What do you call that?"
"A freckle."
"It's a bite mark! You got me that summer before you left. Remember?" He grinned, leaning closer towards her, having a very vivid recollection of it. They had finally caved only a few days after turning in their badges. They'd gone to dinner, he showed her a movie, and before the opening credits had finished, they were stumbling into his bedroom. "You got mad that I was going to leave and grabbed my arm with your teeth. You thought it was cute. It drew blood."
She waved her hand, dismissive. "I do not remember." Her bangs fell into her eyes again. He brushed them away and she smiled, capturing his hand with hers, placing a kiss on the imaginary scar. She reached for the front of his shirt and pulled him against her. She trapped him against her, moving her leg even farther over his leg, hooking her foot around his ankle. It reminded him of a boa constrictor. She tapped her fingers over his chest and tucked her head beneath his chin. He breathed deeply, hugging her tight. She released a long sigh. "I thought about blocking it out. The pain…I thought if I did what I always did it would go away and made a very conscious decision…I would not do that."
He had thought about that. He frowned, staring up at the sky. It was growing dark. They lived so far away from town that when it got dark they could see all the stars on a clear night. "Why not?" He already knew the answer, but he wanted to hear it from her.
"Because I was not that person anymore. I did not want to be that person. When I stayed in Israel it was for a reason. I wanted to feel the pain because that was what I was in. I was giving birth, I was…I was having a baby and with that there is pain." She closed her eyes tight, her forehead furrowing at her memories. "It was not just physical. I was scared. I was ready to do it on my own, but I was scared of the baby. What would she think of me? What kind of mother could I be? I vowed to be as good as I could. I made sure to feel all the pain."
"And you weren't alone, not really."
"No, Orli being there was more than I wanted but afterward I realized that having her there was helpful. She held my hand and told me to be strong and to not worry…" she trailed off, whispering. "I…I did not tell you, because I did not want you to worry, but at one point I grew scared for Tali. The midwife said the cord was tight on her little wrist."
He sat up slightly, concerned and he glanced at Tali, whose wrists seemed fine. "Oh?"
"Yes, there was prolapse. The cord was coming out with her and it should not. It could have been far worse for it the cord gets around their neck…" she trailed off and shuddered. "I do not want to think about it and it did not happen so I am thankful. The midwife had to stop delivery to get the cord off. She did not want the circulation damaged…"
"That must have been scary." I'm glad Orli was there. At least someone was there and she was not alone.
She paused a moment and nodded, whispering. "I did not know love until that moment. I have often said I was ready to die, because at the time I was. On missions and as part of my job. But in that moment I…I was willing to die so she could live. I did not care what happened to be so long as my daughter would survive. It worked out and she came out and…she cried so quietly. Then she got loud. She has lungs on her she just is select about when to use them."
Tali could be loud when she wanted to be loud. She was a very quiet kid until she wasn't. Kind of like him. He held her close and closed his eyes, smiling. So Tali was a late baby, she was born in the morning, and she forced her mother to feel pain for one of the few times in her life. Above all…she wasn't alone when it happened. He hadn't realized how much that had weighed on him. "Thanks," he breathed. "For telling me."
She kissed the edge of his jaw, turning him towards her. Their eyes met and she smiled, stroking her fingers lightly along his face. "Happy Birthday," she said quietly. "It was the only thing I could think to give you."
"This is probably the best birthday I have ever had," he said. Nothing could compare to it. Knowing that his daughter was born on the same day…hearing this story…he sighed and frowned a little, feeling movement at his side. Ah, never one to miss out on a party, naturally. He chuckled and turned over slightly, studying the little visitor who was looking at him, her small hands on his arm. "Hello."
"Yom Huledet Abba," Tali chirped, crawling over him to land between them with a light thud. She giggled and dropped her birthday tiara onto his head, kissing his nose. "Pretty."
"I quite agree Tali," her mother said with a laugh.
He didn't care if he was wearing a tiara. He'd noticed this morning that someone, he had no proof which one, had painted the fingernails on his right hand a bright pink. He hadn't bothered to change it. He pulled her closer to him and kissed her nose. "Happy Birthday Tali." He sighed and tapped her little nose, smiling wide. This was definitely the best birthday he'd ever had. He hoped for Tali's sake, it was just the beginning of many best birthdays for her too.
THE END