Hey all.
I'm kind of disappointed that so many people read 'Scrubs' but not many reviewed... So you guys should be thankful that I'm not doing this for recognition. I write to write, and vent all the frustration, but everyone needs a little encouragement once in a while.
To the people who did review (And the one who encouraged me to start a series based off of it, it's in the works;p), thanks very much. It's always appreciated when I get an awesome review.
So, once again I've written something I deem as unusual. Why is it unusual, I hear you ask? Well, I don't know. I don't know why I'm writing it, just that I feel like it. So here's the thing: I like to read. A lot. So, I read Dante's 'Inferno' recently. Everyone knows it, yeah? "Before me things created were none, save things Eternal, and eternal I endure. All hope abandon, ye who enter here."
Like any sane person (or not) I got thinking about death, and how different people react. Keep track of all the quotes in this, for there will be quite a few. I'm attributing my favourites to each of the characters I think would be affected by the character death.
Warnings: Character death, yaoi, "naughty" language (lol), over-use of quotes.
Gripe of horrible-ness: Don't you just hate it when you apply for a job, you do a trial for aforementioned job, you do freaking amazing at the trial, and then they don't call back? Yeah. Me too.
Disclaimer: I own very little. If I owned Beyblade, I could buy a new pair of converses... And my Soundwave ticket... and a new phone... *drags self away from listing all that is needed*
There are moments in life where everyone changes, either positively or negatively. These moments make the change, but don't influence them. This would be one of those moments...
The white marble glistened in the rain. It wasn't right. It hadn't rained the day of the funeral, but it rains now? Blonde bangs fly into sparkling blue eyes as Max shakes his head. Things had changed since then, and the former-bundle of energy still wasn't sure if it had been for the better. He turned, whispering a last 'good-bye' to the grave site, and headed back to the dojo, hoping to convince someone to do something, for a lack of a better word, normal.
Entering the dojo, Max was struck by the sound of silence. He shakes his head again, trying to clear his eyes of the salty residue forming. The small dojo, once full of light and laughter, was now dark and dreary. Max smiled slightly. After the accident, Tyson had snapped at everyone, saying cruel, hurtful things that the others could only remain shocked at. It was only the fact that they had all felt the pain that had prevented Tyson from landing in the hospital. Tala, especially, had taken what Tyson had said harshly, and, as a result, had refused to step foot anywhere near the dojo, going so far as banning his teammates from communicating with the youth.
Max had forgiven Tyson almost instantaneously though. He convinced himself that Tyson didn't really think he was stupid. He knew Tyson was hurting, and that he was taking it out on everyone around him.
After all, it was said 'what deep wounds ever closed without a scar?' and Tyson definitely was scarred. Physically and mentally. He knocked softly on a door, and slipped almost silently inside. There would be time to think more later.
Max sighed. He didn't know how much longer he could take it. His conversation with Tyson hadn't gone well, not that that was unusual. What was unusual, however, was the blackening skin around his eye, now swollen shut. He sighed again. Time to check in on the others.
Rei had shut himself away from everyone else after the accident. Max had originally presumed it was because he didn't want to face press, who would no doubt want to talk to him about what happened; hell, they tried to get Tala and Max to talk to them. Lucky for the blonde, the fiery Russian wasn't going to take any of their bullying on board. Now that some time had passed, though, and the press had moved onto more tragic events, Rei still refused to leave his apartment.
Max knocked twice, loudly, and jimmied the handle. The door opened, creaking and alerting Rei of his entrance. He had to do this. He didn't have much of a choice in the matter. Rei needed him to deliver groceries and Tala needed him to get Rei to leave the apartment. Stepping over discarded clothing and piles of books, Max headed to the kitchen, calling for Rei the entire way.
It was unusual. Rei was always so open and honest with the Bladebreakers. He had always been the one that Max and Tyson would turn to when Kai was pushing them too hard. Of course, Max mused, Kai was just trying to protect them the only way he knew how. But still, before Max had known that, Rei was their support. Their net, under the tightrope that was Kai. He protected them from everything, and helped them with all their problems. Even when Max came out, Rei was the first to support him. Even Tyson hadn't done that.
The footsteps padding behind him was the first sign he got that Rei was with him. The second was the glass smashing against the floor, once Max had turned. In an instant, Rei was grasping his face, examining the darkening bruise covering half of Max's face.
"Did Tyson..." Rei growled. This was unacceptable. All Max was trying to do was bring their team back together.
Max shook his head. "You know him. When he gets angry, he throws things. He threw a shoe, I ducked the wrong way. It was an accident, Rei."
Rei growled again. Max was supposed to be Tyson's best friend. Who would treat their best friend this way?
Max smiled nervously up at the neko-jin. "Do you think you might want to come to Tala's today? Everyone misses you."
Rei sighed. Everyday Max asked him this, and everyday he said no, and Max would look so distraught.
"You know the answer, Max."
"But why?!" Now this was unusual. Max normally pulled out the puppy dog pout, and asked again. He never asked why!
Rei paused. "Max, have you heard the saying 'sometimes the questions are complicated and the answers are simple'?"
Max shook his head. Why would Rei bring up something like that?
Rei smiled sadly at the blonde, stepping back into the flickering light of the kitchen. Max gasped. He had know that Rei was hurt, and he had known that he would have scars, but not like this! It wasn't supposed to be like this!
"But no-one cares, Rei! Everyone has scars! It's how people show them that disfigures people!" Tears ran down Max's cheeks. Rei hadn't even seen the others. How was he supposed to
know who was scarred and who wasn't?!
Max turned and ran through the open door. He couldn't deal with Rei's melodramatics right now.
The blonde figure walking the streets cut a sorry sight for passersby. The bruise covering his face, the tears running down his cheeks. It was no wonder that every few minutes he was stopped and asked if he was being abused. Max would chuckle and tell the caring individual that, no, he wasn't, and that, yes, he was fine, and would be on his way once again. He had to see someone who wouldn't hate him. Plus, Tala still wanted him to get the team together.
Turning down a small alleyway, Max contemplated Kenny. The young computer whiz had changed, but not so it was obvious to those that hadn't known him. Kenny had thrown himself into his work, believing that, if he could change aspects of beyblading, incidents like the accident would never happen again. Max smiled. Kenny would come with him. Once a week, Kenny came with him to Tala's. To sit, or to watch a movie, or to even test out some of Kenny's new designs. It didn't matter to them what they did, just that they did it. The fragments of a team. The only ones left willing to say they were Bladebreakers.
Max had known it the day after the accident. There was more to Kenny than just his work. That had been what Tyson had told him. That he didn't care. That he was a robot. Kenny had been shaken, Tala had been outraged. Here was a visionary, someone who, at sixteen, was trying to make the world a better place for the future. Or at least, that's what Tala had spoken so venomously to Max.
Max understood Kenny. They wanted the same thing: to make people safe and happy. But Max wasn't as clever as Tala, or as smart as Kenny. He was designated to caring for those immediately affected by the accident. Kenny was delegated to protecting future generations. Tala was to protect- Max was interrupted abruptly from his musings by the young genius blocking his path. Kenny smiled up at him, conveying so much in such a small look. The sorrow he felt at it just being them again and the pain he knew Max must be feeling, the outrage at the bruising skin, so obviously caused by Tyson.
They chatted softly as they walked downtown, heading to the small house Tala had purchased after the accident, Max discussing what he thought about Rei and Tyson, as well as what they had said. Kenny smiled when Max asked him the question Rei has posed on him.
"It seems to me that he thought your question about why he wouldn't leave was much harder than it had to be, when the answer was so obvious to him. He doesn't realise that his appearance is what drew us to him."
Max thought about it. Twisting the words through his mind. It did make sense. Rei had always spent so much time trying to look perfect, but he had always thought it was because he had a crush on Kai. Kenny was definitely the smart Bladebreaker. He could solve problems just by an explanation.
Max turned to Kenny, his eyes sparkling with anxiety. "How do you do it? How do you go on and not cry?"
Kenny was silent as he contemplated the question. How could he answer a question posed so unusually?
"What makes you think I don't cry?"
Max stopped. He hadn't considered his words before he had spoken them, but now that he heard someone else saying them, he knew exactly why he thought it. "I guess I never saw you cry. Not at the hospital, not at the funeral. Never."
Kenny smiled sadly. "Tyson made fun of me for crying once. It made me cry more. We were in another country, Australia I think. I don't know how, but Kai found me. We sat for ages, just staring out over the water. I honestly thought he hated me before then." Kenny chuckled, clearly remembering pieces of the conversation he deemed too private for Max to hear "Anyway, right before we got up to head back to the hotel, he stopped me. He actually put his hand on my shoulder. It was weird. But what was weirder was what he said next: 'There was a poet who once said fear not for the future, weep not for the past. Don't forget that.' So that's it. I don't cry over what I can learn from, but I cry for my friend, just where people can't see me."
Max nodded. It made sense. Kai was like the mother hen of their team, just without letting anyone know it. Until he became close with Tala, Max hadn't understood why Kai did the things he did: disappearing late at night; not talking to them; shutting them out; and driving them into the dirt when it came to training. It made sense that Kai would be the one to make Kenny stronger.
//Don't we all just love a flashback?!//
Tala sat facing Max, legs stretched across the sofa, smiling as the blonde ranted at him, venting off some of the anger he felt for the Russian enigma known as Kai.
"He's your friend! Can't you do anything about him?!"
"Like what?" Tala drawled, clearly not understanding Max's problem.
Max stared. He'd already gone through what Kai did. How could Tala not see the problem?! This was unbelievable.
"You're just taking his side."
Tala bolted up. "I do not take sides, especially when I don't see the issue."
Max blinked. "Oh, that's right. You don't count Kai taking off to God knows where in the middle of the night a problem."
Tala smiled, flopping back down onto the couch. "Damn right it's not a problem. You should be thanking him for it."
"Thanking him? For what?"
Tala yawned lethargically. He was too jetlagged for this. "You think Kai has a map of every town in the world permanently engraved into his brain? He does it to make sure no-one gets lost."
Max's jaw dropped open. Kai was... helping them?
"Ok. So, what about the silence thing?"
Tala's hand raised to flop over his eyes. "Back in the Abbey, speaking out of turn would get your team a beating. It was 'get you a beating', but Kai used to scream out to defend us, regardless of how brutally he was being attacked, so they changed it."
Tears developed in Max's eyes. Kai was trying to protect them!
"And... the brutal training?"
Tala rolled over onto his stomach, his voice muffled by the cushions. "He thinks that, if he trains you harder, you'll become stronger. The stronger you are, the less he needs to protect you, which means he won't have to be as strict, and you won't hate him."
Max was crying by this stage. Kai thought they hated him? And still he'd protect them?
"Can-*hic* can you tell him, if he comes back here, that we don't hate him. We really don't. And that I'm sorry. For everything."
Tala smiled. "Sure. Now, get out. I'm tired."
\\End of the lovely flashback\\
The entrance to Tala's house always reminded Max of one thing: hospitals. He knew that it had to, but it didn't make him feel any better about it. Through the archway of a door, he could see tufts of blonde hair, poking out over the armrest of the couch, indicating Spencer's arrival. The loud banging of pots and pans in the kitchen was evidence of Bryan's residence, and the soft murmuring of voices was all Max needed to know that Tala was with Kai.
The accident had left them all changed. Bryan, now looking tired and somewhat gaunt directed them through to the kitchen, where he had finished making dinner for the household and Kenny. Spencer, now risen, was silent, the ever-stoic member of the team having not spoken since the accident. Ian's presence was always one missed in the house, yet always remembered, letters and photo's hung all around the house. The youngest Russian had returned home several months ago, to attempt to rebuild his life. Bryan had stayed, his love for Kai overpowering his love for his country. Spencer travelled back and forth between the two, attempting to split his time evenly. Tala, of course, had stayed. He had told Max that he had no choice, but to stay. This had erupted an argument between the two, but now that Max looked back, he knew that it was the truth. Kai was like a brother to Tala, and Tala would never leave one of his brothers.
Tala was an anomaly to Max. He had thought he knew him so well before the accident, but he had changed afterwards, so quickly. Beforehand, he had been about rebuilding his life, and making up for his lost childhood. He had loved and learnt quickly. All in the space of one day it changed. Suddenly it seemed as though Tala's life was consumed by doctor's appointments and nights spent just watching, making sure that nothing happened to his brother.
Of course, Max had understood it. Tala had explained it himself, but not regarding himself. He doubted that he would have understood it if it hadn't been for Tala's explanation of Kai's behaviour. Tala had taken over Kai's role, much as Max had too.
But then again, to Max, nothing had ever been more obvious than the saying 'all that we see or seem is but a dream within a dream', especially when it came to Tala.
Tala entered the room last, clearly exhausted. Bryan's lavender eyes bored into Tala's blue ones, demanding answers and, apparently, not receiving the correct ones. He stormed out of the room, entering the first off the hall, the room from which the smell of disinfectant wafted.
Tala smiled at Max. "They still being stubborn?"
Max nodded, still not understanding Tala's insistence at getting the team together. He hadn't liked Tyson, and hadn't cared overly for Rei but Bryan hated both Tyson and Rei, so why would Tala bring in two people that would accompany discord within their home?
"Ah, well, tonight it is time to bring them out by force."
Max blinked. Tala had never discussed using force before.
"Is it that bad?" Kenny said, words spoken softly, like he was afraid someone would hear.
Tala nodded. "Spencer, hold off on eating for a bit more. I'll be back."
He disappeared down the hall. Max let out a breath he hadn't realised he had been holding. If anyone could get Tyson and Rei out, it was Tala.
The sound of hacking coughs reached his ears from the doorway. Instantly, he whisked around, preparing to berate Kai for being out of bed. Before the words could reach his lips he stopped. This wasn't the Kai that had protected them for so long. No, this Kai, with his emaciated body and his bloody, red lips couldn't protect himself, much less a group of accident-prone teenagers.
The blunette rested heavily on Bryan, his dulled gaze falling onto Max.
"Are they ever going to grow up?" He whispered.
Max smiled, and shrugged. How could he tell Kai the truth? Rei was afraid to leave because of how he looked, Kai couldn't leave. Ever. Max had been there when the doctors told Tala and Bryan exactly what they hadn't wanted to hear. That Kai was never going to get better. That he would be lucky to be dead within a month.
It was just Kai's luck that he would make it past the month, easily. Whilst bedridden for the majority of the month, Kai had lost none of the feisty personality that had made so many both fear and love him. It had been an illness, pneumonia, that had changed him into the frail, tiny, shaking youth almost cradled in his lover's arms.
Kai chuckled. It was about right of them to not show up until the last possible moment. The door slammed open, allowing the rest of the house access to Kai's personal joke. Tears ran down Bryan's face, as he hurried to bury it in Kai's unruly hair. Kai could always hear things that others couldn't (A/N not in the crazy way, in the spidey-sense way).
Tala, Tyson and Rei all entered the room, the former looking particularly pissed and the latter two looking ashamed. Tyson's gaze drifted to Max, and the bruise spreading across his face.
"Maxie, I'm so sorry. Are you ok?"
Max sniffed. "I'm not the one you should apologise to. Turn around."
Complying, Tyson and Rei turned, their eyes widening when they recognised the bony figure resting in Bryan's arms.
"Kai?" They whispered, not wanting to believe that the image before them was that of their fearless leader.
Kai chuckled again, raising a bony hand. "'sup?"
Tyson's jaw nearly dropped to the floor. This wasn't happening. They couldn't lose someone else. This wasn't fair.
Rei was in shock. Kai had protected them in the accident. He had tried to stop it from hurting them. Rei knew Kai didn't attend the funeral, but he didn't think it was this bad.
"Is this... is this because of what happened?"
Kai looked up at Bryan, begging him to answer. He tipped his head, considering his answer carefully.
"Some. He was sick before, but nothing like this. When the accident happened, it made it worse. Then, when he got sick again last month, that's kind of what makes him look like this."
"Last month." Tyson muttered. "Last month was when Max started coming around every day to get us here."
Kai nodded "I asked Tala to get you here. He asked Max."
Max nodded along with Tala. Kai had needed the Bladebreakers, like they had needed him so many times. The difference here was that Kai always came through for them. They hadn't come through for him though.
"So, is this why? Are you... you know?"
Kai laughed. Not a chuckle that reminded them of how weak he appeared, but a laugh, which brought back memories of when they had been a team.
"I'm not dead Tyson, and I don't plan on being dead anytime soon."
Tyson visibly relaxed. He didn't want to lose another friend.
"No. Why I wanted to see you all is to make sure you're training." Bryan lightly hit Kai on the arm. Despite how light it was, they could all see Kai wince.
"Ok. I wasn't checking if you were training. You're going to make a deal with me. Once a week, we are all here for the day. I don't care what we do, but last I checked, we were a team. Hilary wanted us to be a team (Tyson sobbed loudly at her name) and although I know it hurts" here he paused to cough into a bloody tissue "trust me, I know it hurts, but we have to be strong, and the best way to be strong is to rely on someone else." Kai smiled up at Bryan, the dull red eyes regaining some of their light.
"So, is that a deal?"
Tyson laughed through his tears "Yeah man. Definitely."
Tala glared at him "No more shoe throwing?"
Tyson stopped laughing. "Never again."
Rei paused, unsure of what to do. Max nudged him, laughing at the expression on Tyson's face as Tala told him that he'd only be getting one plate of food.
Rei smiled at the sight. It was almost like old times. "I guess we have a deal."
Late into the night, Max ended up on the balcony, watching the stars. Looking around the spacious length, he noticed a small figure curled up on a chair, a blanket covering him. Brushing back blue hair from Kai's face, he noticed, for the first time in six months, that the marks on Kai's face were gone. It made him seem so much more... innocent. Lifting his frail captain into his arms, Max carried him back inside, and into his bedroom. Tucking the blankets around the youth, Max could only feel how skeletal Kai had become.
"Gross, isn't it?"
Max started. He hadn't realised Kai was awake.
"Sorry. If it's any consolation, I did the exact same thing to Tala yesterday."
Max laughed softly. This was Kai. Trying to make them strong, trying to make them happy, in the only way he knew how.
"I miss you, you know? I was scared you were going to die." Max whispered, content in knowing that Kai would never tell.
"I miss you too, and Kenny and Rei. And I suppose I miss Tyson too." They laughed, knowing that Tyson would complain loudly that there was nothing to miss had he been in the room.
"And to be honest, I thought I was going to die too."
Max stared at Kai, horrified by the confession. Kai was invincible! He wasn't supposed to think about death!
Kai laughed at Max's expression "Everyone dies sometime, Maxie. Hilary made me realise that. I thought she'd at least outlive Tyson. But here we are, and she isn't. And it's morbid to think about it, but I believe that Hilary's death was fate."
Max's jaw dropped open. Kai didn't believe in fate. He'd said it before. 'You make your own fate'.
Kai waved his hands, knowing exactly what Max was thinking. "You misunderstand me. Not so much 'it was going to happen' as 'her death has brought good change'. Think about it. What changes have you already noticed?"
Max thought carefully. There had been the fall of three of the strongest bladers on their team, and the rise of two, but he doubted Kai meant that.
"Do you mean Kenny's alterations?"
Kai nodded. "Not just that. This entire incident has provided people with opportunities they probably wouldn't have gotten before. Kenny has been provided with the chance to prove that he's not just 'that guy'. You have the opportunity to prove that you are stronger and smarter than people think you are. And the Blitzkrieg Boys have had the opportunity to prove they aren't vicious killers." Kai and Max laughed again. Who had known Kai could be funny?
A thought popped into Max's head "Weren't you scared?"
Kai paused, thinking "Of death? I was, but then I read something. A famous man once said 'I am ready to meet my maker. Whether my maker is prepared to meet me is another question.' I guess I drew from that. I'm young, but I've done a lot in my life, and, if I died, at least Rei and Tyson would have left their houses for the funeral."
This time Max didn't laugh. He knew Kai meant it as a joke, but he didn't understand how he looked. He looked like he was dying, and in Max's mind, he still was.
Kai regained composure almost instantly "Sorry. I know that I look bad, and that joking about death is probably the wrong thing to do at the moment."
Max blinked. Or maybe Kai did know how he looked.
"Do you want to know something?"
Max nodded, curious as to what Kai had on his mind.
"Hilary said something to me, before she died. Didn't you wonder what it was?"
Max thought back, painfully recollecting the moments of his friends death. He could see Kai leaning over her, hear Tyson and Rei screaming, smell the burning and feel the ground shaking, reverberating from the power of Zeus's final attack, but, for the life of him, could not remember hearing-or seeing- Hilary and Kai conversing.
"I'm sorry, I couldn't see you talking, I didn't know she said anything."
Kai smiled at Max "Don't apologise for something that isn't your fault, it's what cowards do. And we spoke briefly. She was in pain, I was in pain. Neither of us thought we would leave alive. We exchanged quotes. Mine was 'And thou wilt give thyself relief, if thou doest every act of thy life as if it were the last.'"
Max blinked. "And that means...?"
Kai laughed "It means that so long as you live every day like you are going to die tomorrow, you will have no regrets when the time does come."
Max smiled. It sounded oddly Kai-like. "What was Hilary's then?"
"'Because I have loved life, I shall have no sorrow to die.' I think it sounds like her."
Max nodded, agreeing with both the words and Kai.
"Now let me ask you something, Maxie. Why were you so persistent in getting Rei and Tyson here without questioning why I wanted to see them?"
"I thought you were dying. But when I realised that Ian wasn't coming back, I knew that it couldn't be that, because he would have stayed." Kai nodded. Max was a lot smarter than Tyson gave him credit for.
"So what did you think then?"
"...I thought you were going to yell at us for not training." Max chuckled "I wouldn't have minded it, you know? It would have made me sure that you were ok."
Kai lifted his arms and, silently, wrapped them around Max. Complying with the obvious wish, Max leaned in to hug Kai back, cautiously pressing on his back, hard enough to reassure Kai of the feeling, but not so that the bones would break. Tala had already made that mistake.
"I love you Kai, and if you leave us, I'll kick your ass so hard you'll wish that you had died."
Kai smiled, his face pressed into Max's chest, his voice muffled by clothing "I know Max. I won't go anywhere."
On the other side of town, a white marble angel glistened, the release of a soul, tormented by the pain she had left behind, lighting up the night sky. The writing engraved on the bottom of the angel read:
Hilary Tachibana
1990-2009
Gone, but never forgotten
'I saw the angel in the marble and carved until I set him free.'
So, what did you think? I think I'm being morbidly unusual. Haha. The ending sucks though. But, then again, I hate writing endings to my stories. It makes them seem so... Final.
And Tala does love Max, in case you didn't get that. I can't remember if I included it or not, and I really can't be assed going back and checking. It's too long. I'll check later, and include it if I left it out. I think I mention Max has someone he loves, and Tala has someone he loves, but I don't think I mentioned that it just so happened to be each other.
And, Bryan doesn't like Rei because Rei likes Kai. Kai belongs to Bryan (Not in a 'you talk to anyone else, they die' kind of way, more so 'I'm sexy because I'm possessive, I'm possessive because I don't want you getting hurt' kind of way.)
And, Kai totally has Spidey-senses. But that could just be the lack of sleep talking.
Anyway, the quotes: 1 (would be the first) Lord Byron
2. Dr. Seuss
3. Percy Bysshe Shelley
4. Edgar Allen Poe
5. Winston Churchill
6. Marcus Aurelius
7. Amelia Burr
8. Michelangelo
So, yes. In case you are unaware, Edgar Allen Poe is one of my favourite writers, as is Dr. Seuss. And Michelangelo and Lord Byron were just perfect in every way. Byron was a complete nutter, but still... Genius. This is quite possibly my longest typed story ever, so I feel quite proud of myself, but it's two in the morning, and I've written this in three hours because I couldn't stop, so if there are errors, 1. My bad. 2. Please just tell me, and I'll fix them right up... One example is I kept spelling 'Max' as 'ax'. If anyone sees it, just review it... I'll give you credit where credit is due.
Until next time, bambino.
Qiuyue.