AN: This story has absolutely nothing to do with the Tv show Chasing Life. I just like the title. This is a Bonnie Bennett one shot, set in S4E1. I am considering making it into a full fledged story, in which case it will be Bonnie-centric.

For fans of my other story, Soulmates, that should be updated tomorrow. Regardless of whether I continue this story or not, that one will likely remain my main priority.

Finally, the characters in this story belong to TVD and the associated people. Thanks for reading.

Elena was in transition. Bonnie stared unseeingly at her grimoire. When Stefan had called telling her about Elena and asking her to look for a spell to reverse the process, she had agreed. Now, however, she found that she couldn't really concentrate.

Matt sat at her side, furiously flipping through another grimoire. He had offered to help her search, trying to relieve his guilt.

"If I said something really bad, would you hate me?" Bonnie asked him suddenly, keeping her eyes on the pages in her lap.

"I could never hate you, Bon." He answered absentmindedly, continuing to flip through his book.

She didn't say anything, and after a few seconds he looked up.

"Bon?" He asked, setting down the book to pull her into his arms. "Are you alright?"

It was then that Bonnie realized she was crying. With that realization, she broke down and started sobbing.

Matt continued to hold her, rocking her gently until her sobs quieted.

With her face still buried in his shirt, she finally spoke.

"I'm glad Elena's a vampire." She whispered, so quietly that if he hadn't momentarily tensed, she would've assumed he hadn't heard her. When he relaxed again, still gripping her tightly, she took it as a cue to continue.

"If she's a vampire, that means I don't have to protect her. I won't have to lose another family member because Stefan and Damon have an obsession with keeping her safe. I don't have to spend every day wondering if today is the day when it finally happens. When I finally face death just so that she can be happy." She kept her face pressed to his chest, not wanting to see his judgement or hatred for her selfishness.

"Bonnie…" He murmured.

She tensed, waiting for him to tell her how selfish she was, how she should be willing to do anything for her best friend. How Elena was worth losing everything.

"It's okay to want to live. It's alright that you don't want to die for her anymore. That doesn't make you selfish. You don't owe her your life just because you used to be close." He told her slowly, as if he was just now realizing the truth behind his own words.

Bonnie pulled back slightly, just enough to look him in the eye. "You're not going to tell me that I'm selfish or a terrible friend or a coward?" She asked.

Matt grasped her shoulders almost painfully, as if he could convey his sincerity through touch alone. "Bonnie Bennett, you are the last person on earth anyone could ever accuse of being any of those things. You don't owe it to her to die so that she can be happy, or even so that she can live. You deserve to live every bit as much as she does." He declared passionately.

Bonnie wrapped her arms around his neck and buried her face in his shoulder. She started sobbing, even harder than before, both from an overwhelming sense of relief and a deep sadness. After a few more minutes, she rested her chin on his shoulder and whispered into his ear.

"You deserve to live to. You don't have to feel guilty about her death. It wasn't your fault."

Matt started shaking his head before objecting. "If Stefan…"

"If Stefan had saved her, you would be dead right now. At least this way, you both get the chance to live. Besides, her being a vampire will really cut down on the number of deaths in this town." It was Bonnie's turn to hold him just a little too tightly as she strained to make him understand.

"But she never wanted this." Matt whispered.

"None of us wanted any of this. She'll learn to live with it, just like the rest of us did." Bonnie whispered, tears returning.

"Alright." Matt nodded.

"Alright?" She asked, pulling out of his embrace to look him in the eye.

"I won't feel guilty anymore. And neither will you." He ordered, blue eyes flashing with determination.

Bonnie nodded. She knew it would take time for both of them. They were in the habit of putting Elena's needs above their own and it would take time and space to break free from that.

Suddenly, an idea occurred to her. "We should leave town." She suggested hopefully.

"Like a vacation?" Matt asked, brow wrinkling with confusion.

"No, like move somewhere else. Some place where we don't have to worry about the next big bad trying to kill us. Me and you, Matt. We can escape this place. We can start over. We can live." She declared, desperate to leave Mystic Falls and all it symbolized as far behind her as possible.

"Where would we go?" Matt asked.

"I don't know. But I do know that if we stay here, we're both just going to end up being sacrificed for Elena." Bonnie pointed out.

Matt stared at her for a few minutes. "Let's do it."

"Really?" Bonnie asked, hardly believing that he would agree to her crazy plan.

"Really." Matt nodded, a slight smile appearing on his lips.

Bonnie grinned and threw her arms around his neck, this time in joy. She didn't even try to control the intense sense of relief spreading throughout her. She really wasn't sure if she would have been able to go on her own, but if Matt came, she knew she would make it.

"Okay. I have to cancel my heating and water, call my mom, and pack. I'll be back in an hour. That enough time for you?" Matt asked, jumping up and grabbing his keys.

Bonnie nodded, staring up at him.

"Good. One hour, Bennett." He grinned before swooping down to kiss her cheek and running out the door.

"One hour." Bonnie whispered, grinning ear to ear. She darted over to her closet, grabbing a large suitcase and began to fill it with clothes. Since she didn't know where they would end up or how long it would be before she could shop, she made sure to grab a little bit of everything.

Once she was done packing her clothes, she glanced around at the grimoires spread across her floor. Over the past couple of years, those books had become her entire life. She didn't want to bring any of them with her because all they would do is serve as reminders of how she had become her magic. However, her eyes landed on one small book in the corner. Picking it up, she smiled softly at the cover. It was her Gram's personal grimoire, and the only one she would take with her. She slipped it into her carefully into her purse.

After she lugged her suitcase downstairs to wait for Matt, she quickly wrote her father a goodbye letter. Granted, he didn't know the majority of what went down in this town, so her explanations might not have made sense, but she decided she should try. She also assured him that she would call him soon.

She then wrote two short letters to Elena and Caroline, telling them that she had to leave. She didn't bother explaining why, knowing neither of them would understand. She also asked that they not try to contact her because she needed her space.

As she was sealing the three letters, Matt walked back through her front door.

"You ready?" He asked.

"Yep. You?"

He nodded somberly before picking up her bag. "Jesus, Bennett, what did you pack? Your fireplace?" He grunted at the weight.

Bonnie laughed. "No. I just figured that if we don't know where we're going, it might be nice if I have some of everything." She explained, following him onto the porch where he waited as she turned to lock the door.

"Did you pack any of your fancy dresses in case we end up at the queen's tea?" Matt teased.

"No. I did pack some slacks though, for job interviews." Bonnie explained.

"I forgot about that. What are we going to do about money? I've been struggling just to stay afloat. I don't have any extra cash." Matt said, pacing across her front porch and running his fingers through his hair.

"Relax. My Grams left me everything she owned when she died. I have enough to keep us afloat for a while, although we should start looking for jobs pretty much right away so we don't have to worry." Bonnie told him.

Matt nodded. She could tell that he didn't like the thought of living off of her money, but they really didn't have much choice.

"Sounds like a plan." He said as he picked up her suit case and stored it in the back seat of his truck, away from the elements. Bonnie spotted his suitcase already there.

"Why are we taking your truck? My car gets better gas mileage." Bonnie protested.

"True, but as you pointed out, we don't really know where we're going and I'd rather not try to drive your hybrid through a blizzard. Besides, my car is reliable and I know how to repair it if anything goes wrong, so we won't have to worry about finding a mechanic." Matt pointed out.

"Fair point." Bonnie agreed reluctantly. She loved her little blue car, but she had to admit that Matt's truck made more sense.

"Good. Now is there anyone you want to say goodbye to before we leave?" Matt asked, gently resting his hand on her shoulder.

"No. I wrote my dad, Caroline, and Elena letters. You?" Bonnie answered, melancholy returning.

"I left voice mails with Tyler and my mom." Matt answered, head bowing.

"I guess we're ready." Bonnie whispered. Now that the moment was here, all of her loyalty to her friends and her good memories came crashing down on her. She felt her eyes water, not quite as ready to say goodbye as she had originally thought.

"We have one last thing to do." Matt answered, gently turning her around and pushing her back towards her house. He nodded towards the door and she hesitantly unlocked it, trying to hide her tears.

"Give me your phone." He ordered, stretching out an open hand before her.

"What?" She asked, her head shooting up.

"We're leaving for good. We're trying to escape. We'll never do that if they keep calling us. Caroline and Elena will try to guilt you into coming back and Stefan will beg you to protect Elena. Our phones stay here." He explained.

Bonnie hesitantly reached into her pocket and pulled out her phone. She had turned it off hours ago to try to prevent any distractions from her research for Elena. Ironically, if she had left it on she might still be searching.

Matt placed both of their phones on the kitchen table and then grabbed her hand. Together, they walked out of her house and climbed into his truck.

Hand in hand, they drove out of Mystic Falls and into the unknown.