TODAY
By: Aijou
She's a different girl today than yesterday.
Yesterday's girl sang without a fault, showing off an impressive, effortless range. She could sing a C to F# without working hard at it. Do re mi fa so la ti do, she could do them all. Low to high, high to low, her voice performed somersaults. Yesterday's girl painted canvas after canvas with note after note. Colors splashed everywhere, hanging in the air around her. She sang in brilliant shades. Jovial oranges, mellow yellows, blissful blues, and serene greens.
Yesterday's girl had it all. The friends, the support, the confidence high enough to conquer the world, necessary stability and the ability to do nearly anything. The want to do anything, most of all. The push to live, to strive, to simply be alive in her little patch of the planet. Better than all of that, however, she had a best friend. The best friend, the one she deemed better than all the rest.
But, for all the good things she had, she was equally bad. She was brash. She was stupid. Way too head-strong, she came on way too strong without realizing the repercussions. Gentle: she didn't know the word. Idiot, yesterday turned into today and alongside the setting sun, yesterday's girl became someone else... Today's girl.
Today's girl hides from the outside world, going from dorm room to dorm room, sharing beds and avoiding the issue altogether. She tries not to stay in the same place for too long, for fear of the Headmistress finding her. People cover for her. They lie, saying she's sick. On vacation. Out. Not feeling too well...except that's the truest reason of them all.
And when people tell her she's wrong, that what she's doing won't solve anything, she goes further away.
Right now, she stays in Nagisa and Tamao's room. Right now, she wants to disappear and be anywhere but here.
"Yaya-chan..." From under the covers, she hears a soft voice. "You can't stay here forever. You've got to do something eventually." Nagisa hoped that Yaya could hear the concern in her voice. "I...I, um...I think Hikari-chan doesn't hate you. I'm sure she doesn't. Believe me, I know she wants to be your friend as much as you want to be hers."
I don't want to be her friend, that was the whole point of everything...
"C'mon, Yaya-chan, we know you're awake. It's six in the morning!" A second voice, this one belonging to Tamao, spoke.
Yes, Tamao was right about that. Yaya just didn't show any proof of it, remaining still beneath the blankets.
"Yaya-chan, people care about you," Nagisa chimed in. "Everyone wants you to be happy, okay? Everyone including Hikari...all your friends. No one wants you to be sad."
Oh? If that Hikari part was true, wouldn't she be the one in here telling me that everything's fine? Stop trying so hard, guys. Leave me alone.
"I think she's asleep..."
"Oh. Um, talk to you later, then. Hope you have a nice nap! We'll be back when classes are over."
"Nagisa, she's asleep. I don't think she can hear you."
There was a nervous laugh, then the door closed shut behind the two best friends. Yaya waited a few moments before leaving Tamao's former bed. Lucky them, they got to share one together. Lucky, lucky, lucky, Yaya thought bitterly. While everyone else was having fun with their close friends, she was stuck in solitude. Not like it mattered. This was the unfortunate path she had been fixed on.
She changed into her school uniform, plus a hat to shade her face. Anyone with half a brain would be able to tell it was her, but she didn't care. Yaya left Tamao and Nagisa's place and quick-visited her own forgotten room.
Unfamiliar papers lined the floor, stacked up against ratty textbooks. A pink cat plush lay dead on its side, seemingly gutted by a misplaced shoe. Close by was a cracked CD case featuring two smiling Asian girls whom looked a little too close for comfort. Yaya didn't recognize the old thing - not like it mattered, anyway. The whole room suddenly felt alien to her, despite having lived there up until a week ago. Nothing felt the same.
Her bed was the way she left it. Neat, folded, and tidy. Hikari's, on the other hand, was in a state. As much as she looked like she would, Hikari never really bothered to clean.
"Yaya-sempai! You're alive. What are you doing in here?" The door shut close at the last word.
There was no mistakening the younger girl's voice. "I could ask the same about you, stupid." Yaya's eyes narrowed when she said that. "This is my room. Get out."
"No. It's not your room anymore." Tsubomi put her hands on her hips, smirking slightly. "I thought you were hiding around, idiot. What're you doing here?"
"I'm trying to find something." Only, I don't know what exactly...
"Something, or someone...? Hikari-sempai's in class and, unlike you, she's not failing. I mean, aren't you the girl who's fourth 'til last in her class?"
"Shut the fuck up." She wasn't in the mood.
"No need to be a bitch! I was joking."
"Well, your joke sucked." Yaya sighed. "Sorry. I'm not feeling it today." She didn't even feel like throwing in one of the usual petty insults. Today was plain, almost flat speech. "So, why are you in here, Tsubomi-chan? Aren't you supposed to be in school or something?"
Tsubomi scoffed, like the answer was obvious from her opening line. "Dumbass, I was looking for something in here, too. Duh."
"...Something in my room?"
"Yeah. Looks like I found it." Another smirk for no damn reason. "Didn't expect it to be here, though. The saying's totally true. Always look in the places where something would never be."
Guess she was looking for me, then. How retarded. "Okay, you got me. What do you want?"
"I want you to stop being such a lame-o!" The pink-haired girl's reply earned a hearty laugh. "What?"
"Who says lame-o?" Yaya sobered up fast, cutting off her laughter in favor of a more neutral tone. "Forget it. I can't change the way I feel over night."
"It's been a week!"
"The best thing for the both of us is me being far away. We need to be able to think without the other person around." Of course, Yaya was referring to her and Hikari. No one knew of the exact details and she wasn't going to change that any time soon. At least, she hadn't told anyone, and she honestly doubted Hikari would speak a word. The whole event was dangerously embarrassing for all parties involved. "Yeah, it's better for our friendship if we give it some time, don't you think?"
"That depends on what happened to end it. What, were you guys fighting over someone? Amane-sempai? Wow, I didn't think you went for girls like that." Tsubomi's tease was met with a death glare.
"I fucking hate that fucking bitch thing. That thing doesn't even deserve a name. In fact, I hope she falls off of her horse and dies. I want her to bust her whole head open."
"Whoah! Slow down there." Tsubomi held up her hands in weak defence. "You're being a little harsh there... I'm not a fan of hers, either, but I'm not wishing she were dead."
"You would if you hated her as much as I do. I wish she never even went to Astrea. She should go back to wherever she came from. Fug Palace."
"Fug Palace?"
"Yeah!" Yaya practically shouted.
"Okay... You're nice."
The darker haired girl finally took off her hat. "I know I sounded kinda like a jerk there. I don't care. I just hate that thing so much. You shouldn't blame me, though, since I'm sure you feel the same way about Hikari-chan."
"Not like it's any of my business, but what happened between you two? Why aren't you friends now?" Tsubomi looked scared of the answer.
"I said and did some things I shouldn't've said. I don't wanna talk about it."
"You can tell me."
"No. I haven't even told Nagisa and Tamao, why would I tell you?" Ouch, that didn't come out like how she wanted it to. "Um, nevermind. I can tell you as long as you swear not to tell anyone or talk about it with Hikari-chan." It felt weird using the cutesy honorific with her ex-best friend's name.
Tsubomi held out a pinky. "I won't tell a soul, until you say it's okay." Yaya grasped it with her own.
"Okay, well, I kind of told her I like her."
"Oh..." Tsubomi's face had an expression on it that Yaya found impossible to describe. "That sucks...still, you shouldn't be ignoring each other even though she doesn't feel the same way."
"There's more. I kissed her."
"You what?!"
"It wasn't good. She didn't like it. I didn't like it." Yaya shook her head sadly. "It didn't work for either of us. I moved way too fast. I was stupid."
"Hell yeah, you were stupid." Now, Yaya could tell what Tsubomi's face was saying. She was pissed off times infinity to the eleventh power. "Don't do that again!"
"Stop getting mad. She doesn't like me back." Yaya glared. "And she won't like you either. Trust me. She's not interested in anyone but Amane...that is, if she's not straight. Who knows? For all I know, Hikari could be straight. I've never asked her about it. I just assumed. Stupid me, right?"
There was an awkward break in the conversation. Tsubomi clicked her teeth thoughtfully. "Do you still like her, after all of this? It's normal if you do...yet, it's healthier for you if you stop. No one likes seeing you down over some girl who missed out on a chance with you." She brushed some lint off of her sweater. "If Hikari-sempai didn't notice you, then she doesn't deserve you, 'cause you're the bestest person she's ever met, probably. Without you, she wouldn't have much. Think about it."
"You're right. It'd be better if I stopped." She messed with the brim of her hat, taking a seat on her bed. Tsubomi sat next to her soon after. "Too bad I can't. Heh, I sound like one of those stupid soap opera girls, don't I? Always complaining about not winning some guy or losing the guy they liked to some slut. Something like that."
"Not really. You're not complaining." Tsubomi's eyes squinted. "Um...and you can stop. All you have to do is replace Hikari in your mind with someone else."
"That's retarded. Is that what you're doing to get over her?"
"It's working for me."
"No, it's not. Don't lie."
"How would you know if it's working or not?"
"You got all pissy when I told you I kissed her. It wasn't even that big of a deal." Yaya got a creepy grin on her face. "Unless you're jealous that someone wants to kiss her, not you."
"At least she wouldn't pull away from me if I kissed her!"
"As-if! I bet you don't know how to kiss." Yaya laughed, imagining Pinky kissing someone. "Haha, you'll close your eyes and miss like an idiot and it'll be like...what the hell? How did you miss? You were right there! Or, hey, wait, your breath will probably scare your person away. Boo hoo, boo hoo for you, lame-o."
Tsubomi crossed her arms. "I wouldn't be stupid enough to kiss someone who didn't want to in the first place, especially someone obviously interested in someone else." She looked at the wall angrily, forcing her eyes off of her sort-of-friend. "And my breath doesn't smell bad. I brush everyday, unlike some people."
"My breath smells good. I don't know what you're talking about." Yaya threw her hat to the floor.
"I didn't name names, but since you've stepped up to the plate, I guess you're one of them."
"Oh, shut up, Tsubomi!" Yaya got off of the bed and stood in front of Tsubomi, whom didn't move from her spot. "Look at me."
"What is--ahhh!" She screamed as Yaya pushed her back onto the bed. The older girl got on top of her, straddling her and weighing her down in place. "What the hell, Yaya-sempai?! Get off of me!" Her heart was pounding fast. "This isn't funny." Her heart was pounding loud, too. She bet it could be heard all the way in Australia. "You're freaking me out, you...dirty pervert." As Yaya's face got closer to hers, she was having more and more trouble forming sentences.
"So? Tell me about my breath, girl. Is it bad like you say?" Yaya blew a puff of air in Tsubomi's young face.
"Yeah, it smells like corn. It's horrible." No matter how much she struggled, Tsubomi couldn't get up from under Yaya. She gave up. "Disgusting..."
"Okay. Your turn."
"For what?"
"Do the same thing to me."
Tsubomi blinked a few times. Eventually, she did as asked. "There."
"I didn't smell anything."
"Because I brush my teeth."
"No, 'cause you didn't blow hard enough."
"Get closer, then, freak." Tsubomi's face got red, her heart speeding up furiously. "Not that close!"
"If I'm not this close, then I can't smell anything." It took a moment for Tsubomi to notice that Yaya's face was as red, if not redder than hers. "Okay, do it. I'm ready for you, dragon breath."
"Sh-shut up." Tsubomi closed her eyes and blew out a slow stream of air...
...and then, her eyes opened wide as she felt Yaya's mouth cover her own. It was a gentle and scary kiss, one that made Tsubomi feel weak and fluttery. If Yaya wasn't on top of her, she might've floated away. Not wanting to be one-upped by her "rival," she wrapped her arms around Yaya, pulling her down closer to her. Yaya more than complied, deepening their kiss until neither one of them had air left to give.
"Um..." Tsubomi couldn't stop smiling. "That was...uh...whoa."
"Uh...yeah..." Yaya was the same way. "Your breath wasn't bad. I guess someone wouldn't turn you down for that."
"Yours doesn't smell bad, either. I was lying before. And, nope, no one could call you bad."
"You, on the other hand...terrible!" Yaya laughed. "That was the worst."
"Maybe you need a second opinion." Tsubomi pulled her closer again, just as the door to the room opened...
...
"...Yaya-chan?"
Today, she's someone new.
And tomorrow, she might be someone even better...
A/N: Chapter completed 04/06/08. My birthday. April 6th. Weird, this year I don't care about my birthday as much. It feels like any other day. Almost... I don't even feel another year older. Or, maybe I don't care because my "someone" decided to just be friends ("let's work our way up from there") but still expects me to care for them? Don't know. I'm not going to explain it here because all of that is a story in itself and I'm sick of complaining. My focus is entirely elsewhere nowadays and, uh, yeah... Hope you liked the chapter! :D