"I loved her with my life. I was desperate for her love. So desperate that I resorted to impressing her. But she took it the wrong way. I went too far, and she nearly lost her life. She misunderstood me. It was a mistake; I never meant to hurt her. Things got far out of hand. I'm now driven by anger and hopelessness. She had a choice: to give me her love, or her life." Cain's story.
My name is Cain, and I never meant any harm. I was lost in that whirlwind of that emotion called love. But is it love if there is so much blood involved in the story? Is it love if I was misunderstood? Is it love if the result was an empty death? I loved her, but she never realized it. I was too late to portray to her my true regret. I never meant for her to become my enemy; I really didn't. But it all went wrong.
It was never love. I loved her the moment I had set my eyes on her, but I knew she loved me. I wanted to impress her, to show her I was worth her time, but she ignored me, thinking that I was no better than her mortal enemy.
That was true. The two of us were left in a fight to the death. With the king looking down at us, I had no choice. I wanted to end the fight, and fast. If she wasn't going to give me her love, she would give me her life, instead. Still, I didn't want her to be harmed. That's why I hesitated to kill her. But my entire life depended on the job as the king's assassin, and I valued my sister and other love over Celaena.
I had a sister; her name was Destiny. She was two years younger than I was, and I had vowed to protect her. Destiny was a small, slender young girl with dark hair to her waist and piercing blue eyes. While I was strong and forceful, she was fast and nimble, and she could run. She truly was fast, and I admired her for it. But she would always need me, as I was her older brother.
Before I met Celaena at the king's palace, I was already in a small but true relationship with a girl named Sky. I loved her with all my heart, and she loved me. She was a beautiful slender female with honey-blonde hair to her thighs and bright blue eyes, which shone like twin stars. She told me that I was doing the right thing by volunteering to fight for this job, and she always supported me.
Celaena reminded me a lot about Sky. Perhaps it was just the way they loved. Both were quiet, graceful, and swift in their movements. Both were charming and determined. And both shared a skill that not many could match.
Celaena was brilliant at archery; Sky was, too. Celaena was a skilled fighter, and so was Sky. But I was the only one to whom Sky had ever shown her true talent, and I knew that she was just like Celaena in her talent, but better.
But Sky would never kill me. And, the night before the final battle, I knew Celaena might.
The day I first saw Celaena, we were both in a big hall. I glimpsed blonde hair, and my heart stopped for a moment. Sky? But as I blinked, I saw that it was another blonde, one who most strongly resembled my love.
The problem was, I thought of her like Sky.
I walked steadily up to her. "Are you participating in the king's competition?" My voice was more scornful than I had wanted, and I flinched inwardly. I watched as she frowned, then turned and stalked away without a word.
I could have called her back, but I didn't.
One of the guards - I think his name was Chaol Westfall - drew her away. "Come, Celaena. He's not worth it." That drove me to glare at him, where Celaena shot me a venomous glare and muttered something to Chaol. Oops. I didn't mean to hurt her... I just was surprised, that was all.
I wanted to follow Celaena, to call her back, to apologize, but I didn't. I couldn't. I told myself, over and over, that this wasn't Sky; this was my mortal enemy. She possessed the same skill as Sky, which meant that she would be a dangerous competition. I couldn't imagine it. An image fluttered into my mind, of me lying on the ground as Celaena stood over me, her sword in her hand.
All of a sudden, Celaena's hair grew longer and more golden, her eyes brighter, her skin paler, her form stronger and steadier. I shook my head to clear it. This wasn't Sky; this was Celaena.
For the next few nights, Celaena tormented my dreams. I would always see her standing over me, her knife drawing out my blood, and then she would vanish and become Sky. I always woke up murmuring to myself, and inside, I was horrified.
The next time I ran into her was at the first of thirteen competitions. It was archery, not my worst, but not my best, either. I knew that in a battle of strength, I would definitely be the victor, but in a battle of blades, it might be harder.
Celaena managed to hit every bull's-eye with such ease that she looked more like Sky than ever before. When it was my turn, my hands were numb and shaking. I hit every bull's-eye as well, but not with such deadly precision as I might have managed.
After this, I went over to speak to Celaena. An ally might be useful, especially one who could boost my morale. But she turned away without a word. You want to play that game, do you? I thought scornfully.
I had to get these things clear in my mind. This was Celaena. Not Sky.
Later on, I killed one of the other competitors... I don't quite recall his name. I sent my pack of beasts after him, and they struck, with deadly accuracy. Though Celaena thought I was evil and ruthless, I was doing it for her. I was saving her competitors, especially dangerous ones.
I knew she was Celaena all along. Though she tried to convince me that she was Lillian, I saw through it. I had heard her speaking to Prince Dorian and Chaol earlier, and I knew the truth.
I killed more and more of the competitors. Celaena grew desperate. She was searching high and low for the killer, and she didn't realize the reason behind these deaths. Yet again, I was blinded by love. I would see Sky instead of Celaena.
Then, the night came, the one that changed our lives. I saw a shadow descend into the chamber, my chamber, and I realized that it was Celaena. I had to send my beasts after her; I didn't want her to suffer an agonizingly slow death at the hands of any other competitor.
Celaena ran, she really did. She was too quick, just like Sky. I wanted her to escape, but I also wanted her gone, so she could rest for many years afterwards. She made it to safety before my beasts could strike.
A few days after that, I saw a shadow materialize within my room, and a familiar dark-haired, blue-eyed girl stepped out, into the light. Heartbeats later, a beautiful blonde female, painful in her familiarity, joined. These were the two I loved most. I greeted them with awe and delight. Destiny and Sky. They explained that it took days to enter the palace of the king, but they eventually did it.
I was overjoyed to see them. Sky smiled sadly, after a while. "Cain, you have to win, you know. Destiny, your family, and I are all counting on you to win this. Don't let false love or deception stand in your way. I know Celaena reminds you of me, but block that sense in order to succeed."
Destiny spoke next. "Cain, my older brother, you must remain fair. You want to protect Celaena, but she's not Sky. She's an enemy, just remember that. Even though she is your enemy, you must remain fair, and the death must stop." The two wound around me, and for a long moment, I was in bliss. Then, the two slipped to the side and vanished into the dark shadows.
Then, there was the final competition.
Destiny and Sky's words rang in my head, about not letting my sense of emotion stand in my way. I didn't want to hurt Celaena, but I had to, if Destiny and Sky were to see me, ever again. With that determination, I faced Celaena in the final ring.
Our blades clashed, and the two of us moved from side to side with matching grace. Now, I understood why she was considered so deadly. Celaena struck with complete accuracy each time, and it was difficult for me to match every blow.
In this way, she was so much like Sky, so familiar...
Then, Celaena was on the ground, stretched out in front of me. My eyes widened, and I clutched my sword desperately. Celaena's eyes were blank, but she was breathing. Her eyes had rolled upwards, as though she was hallucinating.
I smirked. "The oh-so-wonderful assassin, eh?"
But then, a scene rushed into my mind, and the inside of me froze. Celaena no longer lay in front of me. Instead, it was... Sky. I couldn't kill her. I just couldn't. This couldn't be Sky! I wanted to cry out, and I swallowed a low moan of pity.
I blinked. No, it was Celaena. What should I do? I thought desperately. I hesitated. I didn't want to kill her. I felt my heart shatter, almost as though a part of it had drifted away, just out of my reach.
Then, Celaena was on her feet again, and the force of it threw me backwards, where I landed on the ground. Her sword was pointed at my neck, and her eyes blazed with fury and determination, just like Sky's, when she was locked in battle.
It's over. I've lost. And indeed, I had. Celaena's eyes flashed, then clouded with a slight... pity... and she stood up, walking away as though nothing had happened. But then, as I lay there, she fell into Dorian's arms, sobbing.
Dorian.
He's loved her, too, and all at once, I fekt a bitterness rush into me. I wanted Dorian dead, now, if it meant getting Celaena back. But she's not Sky! I told myself, but something inside shook that thought off.
Celaena, the assassin, was almost the same as Sky. I couldn't shake the thought of their similarities off and out of my mind. But... no.
Before I could stop myself, I rose quietly and stalked up behind Dorian, ready to plunge my blade into the back of his neck. But then, I saw a flash of black as Chaol threw himself in front of Dorian and Celaena, and his blade drove into my chest.
Stunned, I fell to the ground, blood gushing from the wound. This is the end. I opened my mouth slightly. "Celaena..." I gasp out, almost inaudibly. "I loved you because I thought you were Sky. You were so similar." The words poured out, faster and faster. "I love you, Sky... you too, Destiny. We will meet again... I promise."
And now, I floated above, a spirit among spirits. I was a golden cloud in the sky, and as much as I tried, I couldn't get close to Sky or Destiny. But as I watched them below me, I let out a sigh.
For I knew that one day, the three of us would be together. And it would be forever.
