This is a CRACK FIC, not to be taken seriously. Just something I thought of and thought it would be funny. It's complete trash, though, but benoight trash. Enjoy!
"You know they're going to kill us, right?" Adam said after Erin finished explaining her plan to the two different squads.
"They already want to kill us because they're bitter over the break up. This is a perfect way to get them back together." Erin said with a smile.
Olivia and Hank had broken up a little over a month ago, and both squads were feeling the wrath. Voight being angry all the time wasn't anything new, but it got annoying really quickly. However, Olivia, yelling at everyone, including Fin, was something that no one was used to. That's when they knew they had to do something.
"This is like the Parent Trap." Halstead said with a smirk.
Alvin walked into the squad room and immediately got suspicious when he saw everyone crowding around Lindsay's computer screen. "Do I want to know?"
Everyone's head shot up and they quickly shook their heads in uniance. "Nope."
"Alright." He turned around and walked right back down the stairs.
"How the hell are we going to fake a case?" Carisi asked, completely clueless on how this was going to go down.
"Leave that to me. I have a few ideas." Antonio said while he rubbed his chin slyly.
"Okay, are we sending Olivia there or is Voight coming here?"
"I think you guys should send Voight to New York. Olivia would send one of us before she flew out there."
"How about we just have Erin and Fin tell them to get the sticks out their asses and get back together." Kim suggested.
Both Fin and Erin quickly looked at her with shocked, yet confused looks on their faces. "Why us?"
"You guys are the favorite kids. You guys get away with a lot more than us." She said with an innocent shrug. "Just a suggestion."
"What the hell are you guys doing?" Voight's gruffy voice echoed throughout the room.
Erin immediately ended the Skype call and they all looked at Voight. "I was just showing them different couch options since my last one was ruined."
"Get to damn work." He said as he marched in his office and slammed the door.
Everyone let out the air they were holding in and walked back to their desks. "Antonio, make that case before I quit."
"You really think the plan is going to work?" Fin whispered across the squadroom to Amanda.
Olivia's door was open and she would get irritated quickly if anyone spoke above a whisper.
"Something needs to change. I mean she wasn't even this bad when she broke up with Brian. Being heartbroken sucks, but we're living in hell."
"So when he gets here, what are we going to do when he realizes there is no case?"
"Lock them in the interrogation room." Carisi said like it was common sense. "That way, we can make sure they don't kill each other, but also make sure that they actually make up."
"Very romantic, Carisi." Amanda said in a bland tone.
"I don't see you throwing out any ideas." He shot back.
Fin rolled his eyes. "I work with five year olds."
Olivia came out her office with a not too pleased look on her face. "Lots of talking, not a lot of working."
"All our paperwork is done, Sarge."
"Then go home." She said in a very irritated tone. Since when did her detectives stay after hours if they were done with their work.
"Actually, Sarge, we were going to go out and see if you wanted to join us."
Leave it to Carisi to not take a hint. Fin and Amanda were already packing up trying to get out of Olivia's presence as soon as possible, and Sonny Boy was still trying to be friendly.
Olivia squinted her eyes at him and walked back to her office, slamming the door behind her.
"You're an idiot." Fin said.
Carisi stood up from his desk. "What? She could use a couple shots of whiskey right now."
"Olivia just called. One of our cases crossed paths again. She wanted to know how soon you can get out there." Erin said trying her best not to let Voight see through her facade.
"You and Halstead can go." He said without even looking up from his paperwork. The last thing he wanted to do was work alongside Olivia.
Erin smacked her lips and rolled her eyes. "Are you really that immature that you would send me and Jay?" She sat down across from him. "Why did you guys even break up?"
"Detective." He said in a stern voice finally meeting her eyes.
"Yeah, I'm not one of them out there. Talk." She said crossing her arms and standing her ground.
"It's none of your business." He said.
"Well, if it's none of my business, I suggest you better start packing for your trip to New York." She said firmly. She was just as stubborn as Voight, and he knew that. "I actually already booked your flight. You leave in two hours." She stood up from the chair. "Tell Olivia I said hello." She said with a smirk on her face before she left the office and closed the door behind her.
"How was it?"
Lindsay let out the breath that she was holding the entire time. "Not as bad as I thought, but one of us is going to have to make sure he actually gets on the plane. Someone called New York and tell them that he's on his way."
"If this doesn't work out, they're going to be even more pissed at us." Antonio crossed his arms and leaned on his desk. "So make sure they hold up their end of the bargain in New York."
Olinsky slid his chair out from his desk and appeared. "Did you guys do what I think you did?"
"Geez, I didn't even know you were over there." Lindsay said. "But if you're thinking that we planned to get Olivia and Hank back together, then you are absolutely right."
"And you think this is going to work because?"
"Because they obviously love each other or they wouldn't be ready to shoot at everyone that looked at them wrong. Not one suspect has been in the interrogation room since they broke up. He takes them straight to cage without even giving them a chance. It's going to work, trust me."
"His flight left thirty minutes ago. They watched him get on the plane." Amanda said hanging up her phone.
"So, that gives us about two hours to get our plan in motion."
"We need a fake suspect for this fake case or are we just going to push them in the room and hope for the best?"
"You're going to try to push those two in the type of mood they've been in? Good luck with that." Fin said shaking his head.
"If we don't get this together on our end, they're going to be really pissed in Chicago."
"Olivia has the day off, so she'll only come in if we have a suspect. We just have to tell Hank to meet us at her apartment because she's sick. Then we take Noah, and leave them be."
"Taking Noah? She's going to freaking kill us!" Carisi exclaimed.
"Like she hasn't been wanting to kill us for the last month. She'll be fine." Amanda assured them.
"Rollins, you're having a kid and you're easily signing away your life." Carisi said.
"Oh, hush. Olivia wouldn't hurt a fly."
"Did you not see Lewis?" Fin said with a straight face.
"I said a fly, not a serial killer." Amanda said with an eye-roll.
"Same difference. I don't either one alive around me." Fin said with a shrug.
"Children, can we get back to figuring out how to get this two satanic sergeants back together?"
"Oh, yes. Sending him to her apartment works."
"You sure she's going to be okay with my coming here?" Voight asked as they walked up the stairs to Olivia's apartment.
"Oh, yeah. She told us to bring you right over, since she had no intentions of coming into the office today."
Voight had a feeling that he was now being set up. The last time him and Olivia talked, she told him to go shove where the sun doesn't shine, so he didn't think she would be so adamant about him coming to her place again. "Mhm." He simply replied.
"Trust us, it's no big deal." Fin said when they got to the door. He knocked twice and moved over in front a little bit, so he would be the one Olivia saw when she looked through the peephole.
"I swear to God, if this isn't the delivery boy." She said yanking the door open. "What the hell?" She said with wide-eyes when she saw her squad and Voight standing at her door.
"Hey, Sarge." Carisi said nonchalantly and walking into her apartment. "Where's the kid?"
"Um, out with Lucy. What the hell are you doing here?" She said looking at Hank.
Hank was right. He was being set up. "We have a case?" He said more as a question.
"You know, we forgot the files at the squad. Let's go get them." Rollins said motioning Carisi to leave before either one of them could run away.
"You're right. See ya later, Sarge." Carisi hurried and walked out the apartment, slamming the door behind him.
"You're freaking kidding me?" Hank said trying to open the door. "I'm going to kill you guys!"
"Nice, we've been set up." Olivia said with an eye-roll and walked away from the door. This was the last thing she wanted to deal with.
"Well, now at least you're forced to talk to me."
"Oh, hell no. You can stay in the living room, and I'll be in my room. Don't touch anything."
"Here we go again. You won't even tell me what I did."
"If you haven't figured it out by now, then you are as dumb as I thought." She said turning around to look at him and crossing her arms.
"I came out here to surprise you one day and you just flipped on me! Sorry, I don't read minds."
"Me or your thing on the side?"
"What are you even talking about? Where the hell is this coming from?"
"Of course, act dumb. It's fine. I'm used to it."
"Oh, shut up, Olivia. You know I would never cheat on you. You just wanted something to be mad at me about."
"Yes, because I have nothing better to do than make up lies. I'm fine without you."
"What can you hear?" Fin asked Carisi who had his ear pressed against the door.
"Apparently, Olivia think he cheated on him, but he's denying it."
"You don't think he really cheated, do you?" Amanda asked the two of them.
"Hell no. He isn't that type of guy. I think Liv is just tripping." Fin said.
Amanda's phone started ringing. "Well, let's hope they figure it out." She said before she answered the phone. "Hello?"
"Did it work? Are they back together?" Erin threw the questions at her back to back.
"They are currently hashing it out as we speak. Hopefully, they'll get over it in a few more minutes."
There was a thump that came from inside the apartment. "Hold up, I think one of them may be dead." The three of them ran into the apartment thinking to find one of them on the floor with a pool of blood surrounding their body, but instead Olivia had Hank pushed against the wall and her tongue down his throat.
"Whoa, whoa!"
"Can you guys go? We're a little busy?" Hank said pulling Olivia back on him.
"Alright." The three of them slowly backed out of the apartment and closed the door behind them. Amanda put her phone back up to her ear. "They are just fine."
Remember, this is a crack fic!