A/N: so here another angsty idea i got, not really much to say since i've found this while going through my old stuff and i feel like i havent write anything decent lately. *looking at my piles of unfinished draft, which i have no motivation to finish*
How long ago it is? I think it is ten years ago.
The first time we met.
"hey hey makoto!" miki wave her hand up and down in front of makoto who's been staring into the empty space for the last three minutes
"ah, i'm sorry. What is it miki?" makoto finally come into her senses. She put off her cigs into the cold asthray and start paying attention to the blonde on her lap
"I'm telling you that Kato-kun finally ask me out for a date! He is so handsome i can't believe it that he want to go out with me"
"good for you then miki, i hope this time last"
"what do you mean makoto, of course this time will last"
"of course miki"
How many time has it is? Miki come home all excited, smiling and beaming, full of happiness as she boast her new boyfriend to me. Who i know will only last for one or two months, the longest one she ever had was 5 months. How many times i have to had my heart broken, seeing the love of my life going through this process of dating and then breaking up? I, myself, have no idea why her relationship never work out, probably because of my wish. My wish for her to only have eyes for me but it'll never happen and my wish has turned into a curse..
Makoto let out a heavy sigh as she reach for her packs. Everytime she heard about miki's boyfriend make her want to smoke badly. Because having to support her crush leave a bad taste in her mouth and she want to wash it with something else. She already lose count of how many times miki come home crying, because her boyfriend left her again.
The raven haired girl pull one of the cig and put it on her mouth before she light it up, blowing white smokes out of her nose and mouth. They have been living in the same apartment for almost two years and knowing each other for more than ten years but their relationship won't go further than being childhood friends.
Just how long this stupid crush has to last?
How many times it needs for her heart to stop beating so fast everytime she saw miki?
How many times her heart has to break and then mended again?
In the prime of age 22, someone like makoto should have fun, smoking, drinking, fucking. Well at least she had done the first two. It's not like no one trying to make a pass at makoto. Hell, in the high school makoto is a prince and had a lot of fangirls. Everytime she went home her shoe locker full of love letter which she ignore. Even when the girl confess directly, makoto will reject her gently, telling them that she has no interest for dating anyone. Now in her second year college, kikuchi makoto is still single as ever, some of the girls that come from the same highschool had given up on her because they know their fate, thus the rumor spread around that makoto is the lonely prince who hasn't found her princess yet. They leave her alone, but not without secretly talking behind her back. After two years passed by, most of them had settled down and forget her, living her peaceful college life, makoto prefer to stay like this since she know that her love for miki won't get anywhere, at least she can stay by her side. But for how long?
Makoto shiver when a cold wind blew pass her, she took her keys out and with trembling hands push it into the keyhole, but she missed it. "stupid key" makoto groan when her second attempt failed too, after taking some breath she try again and this time its enter smoothly. She just drank enough alcohol to drown her mind so that she'll forget the fact that today miki is giving her boyfriend one month anniversary suprise. A lacy black lingerine, complete with garterbelt under her coat, without wearing anything else.
She looks damn sexy. Lucky boy. Makoto shake her head from the image of miki's being pounce down by her boyfriend. Fuck! Makoto cursed mentally. Everytime miki do this, she has to calm herself with alcohol, because nicotine alone is not enough. She didn't understand, it's not the first time, but her anger never fade, she felt betrayed. With another groans makoto twist the cold doorknob, trying to steady her stance as she enter her home. Her mind has getting fuzzy, she want to lay down and cry for the night, like all the night before each time this happen. She has to let it out if she want to act normal again when they met tomorrow, makoto absent mindedly threw her boots. The warmth start to spread when she enter living room.
"i'm sure that i turned the lights off before i g—"
"makoto!" miki scream as she jump into makoto, knocking her down into the floor
"m-miki? Why are you in here i th—"
Makoto close her mouth when she saw miki's tears, her eyes are red and swollen. The raven haired girl trying to find something to say when her eyes landed on miki's outfit. Miki still wearing that sexy lingerine.
"when miki came into his house i found she's with.. sobs.. with other girl! I hate him!"
Ah. This time it's cheating?
"if only... if only makoto is a boy..." miki whisper lowly into makoto's chest. She didnt realize that makoto's hands has stop patting her head.
Makoto felt a pang inside her heart. Suddenly she felt cold even though it's warm inside their apartment, she hate it when miki said that. It's not the first time, miki keeps saying that she'll date makoto if she is a boy and then pass it as a joke. Usually makoto will be pouting and accept it as a joke too, but not tonight. When the vodka is messing with her head and her frustation reached its limit, she had enough.
Miki felt a pair of hands on her shoulder, pushing her softly as she met makoto grey orbs. It's cold and has lost its light, miki felt a chill down her spine when she saw the unfamiliar gaze. "i'm sorry miki, but i'm not a boy."
Without saying anything makoto try to stand up, hands gripping tightly into the edge of their couch. After struggling for a couple of seconds she finally on her feet, it's hard enough to stand up since she is drunk. Miki has stop crying when she felt something off with makoto, she is afraid, for the first time she felt like it's not makoto who's standing in front of her.
"he is an ass for cheating on you"
i'll never cheat on you
"but it's up to you to decide. Whether you want to forgive him or not"
Another silence.
"it's late. You need to sleep. After you clear your head, i'm sure it will be easier for you to decide"
"okay.." miki nodded slowly. "makoto..?"
"yes?" makoto's cold voice freezed miki
"n-nothing.." the blonde turn her head down
"good night makoto"
"good night miki"
so will miki finally notice makoto's feeling?
makoto : miki please notice me
miki : ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
welll... i've write the second part where mako met yukiho, but im too lazy to write the background story and jump right into bed scene ahahahaha
review please