Yes Bakura is a girl in this it is a Gender bend, expect fluff smut, comedy, comfort and some angst. No real plot more on the social aspect of things. Lots of smut rated mature for a reason guys. Not sure if all chapters will be as long as this one. Part of my Gender Bending Challenge. Their is a sickening small amount of female characters in the series. Tried to make it as in character as I could been a very long time since I watched the show.
Chapter One:
For some reason people seemed to think that its alright for her and the Pharaoh to be in the same room together. His stench of musk is enough to make her want to vomit still it's time to act mature after all she is more then ten thousand years old. Who would have thought that she'd be here in Duel City stuck with her nemesis.
Still to be honest she's not exactly the same anymore squatting on a stool her feet dangled off the sides of it. Staring vaguely at Ryou Bakura she had stolen his last name for her own a long time ago. Or somehow she had been dubbed Bakura at some point. She couldn't really remember when they started calling her that.
She believed it had been Tristan at some point or perhaps the monkey faced Joey. Either way it didn't matter to her too much. Sipping from a milk shake as they called it a girls best friend is truly chocolate. Marik is indeed useless and ignores most of her questions still when it comes to listening to his boy problems.
The shop is a yellow bright and worn from people treading on it. Plants and the sound of children playing on game machines. You'd think they'd have something better to do like getting lost. The thing she hated most is children and Yami.
Bakura snorted rolling his eyes, "Can't I have another one?" Whined Shadow Marik pouting at Marik with this look on his face. For someone who claims to have balls of iron he acts more like a girl then she dose. But perhaps that came from the fact of being gay to be honest most of the people she hangs out with are gay.
Yugi counts as far as being Yami's Bitch Yugi really isn't that bad to begin with. Still even Yami has been ignoring her. The busy squander of peasants it makes her wonder why he's hanging out here of all places. Yami rolled her eyes and continued to sip quietly. Best behaviour, yeah that's right she snorted suddenly.
"Hey Bakura," Yugi spoke out softly besides him rather nervously this is the first time they've hung out since Yami threatened to tear out his insides. Their all sitting on stools like she is and people are sucking on their milk shakes.
No that's not a sexual joke Shadow Marik is perverted enough for all of them to begin with. What is it and weird ugly photos honestly! The walls are decorated with photo's of plants that she has no names for.
Opening one eye Yami turned to look at Little Yugi he's basically the midget version of Yami. "What is it?" She barked her tone rough like sandpaper like it's hardly ever been used. Still she could smell the plants all about her.
What is this a flower shop? "I've been meaning to ask something," Yugi seemed hesitant and Bakura turned to look at the boy. He seemed rather shy and hesitant he took in a deep breath and paused for a moment.
"Well hurry it up then- I want to know are you really a girl?" Marik began to cough loudly spitting out his soda. Yami stood up abruptly and gave Yugi a long look his face paled surely they didn't think she'd bother to kill him over that right?
Yami turned his head and did a double take and Bakura let out a laugh. "Yeah I'm surprised it took you so long to figure it out." Dead silence not even the cricket dared to make a noise. Scratching her head Bakura let out an amused chuckle.
"Since when!?" Groaned Marik snickering and clutching at his side, "Oh this is hilarious! Haha!" He wheezed snickering.
Bakura squinted her eyes at him, "I don't get why that is so entertaining?" frowned Bakura, "Thought I did fool everyone for centuries," so really she's the one that won. Still she could see this serious look on Yami face.
Like he's not sure what to do laugh or he's making this face and starts bursting out laughing. Yami Bakura narrowed her eyes and a scowl became more prominent on her face. "Shut up otherwise your the one that will be missing a limb of sorts and it will be one you need."
She licked her lips a glint appearing in her eyes, "Wow who would have thought that the Bastard would actually be a Bitch!" Snickered Yami banging his fist on the table. "No wonder why your so prissy!" Tears of laughter burned in Yami's eyes.
Yugi blinked, "Yami don't be so mean to Bakura at least hes, I mean she's trying!" Yugi snapped at his love Doctor.
Bakura snorted rolling her eyes and sighed, how disgustingly gross. "Yeah listen to your Light," growled Bakura amused ever so slightly.
"Wait a minuet if you were playing a boy when your really a girl how do we know your not just playing a fast one on us," snickered Marik, "It wouldn't go passed me that this is some sort of prank," Bakura stared no really stared at Marik.
"Pranks? Who would be so childish as to do something like that?" Bakura scolded face flat and bored again still she placed her cup on the table. Noticing a rather red faced Waiter in front of her it a pretty girl with blond pigtails.
"If I may Um Bakura was it? You are wearing boy clothes." The girl spoke up rather nervously glancing at Bakura shyly.
Why is this girl blushing so bad, if she remembered correctly she had been staring at her a lot earlier. "Well these clothes come from Ryou," Bakura whined, "Its not as if I have money," she sniffed adjusting the black dress shirt firmly.
"And theirs also the fact that their so small it's pathetic," laughed Yami Marik climbing to his feet and clutching at his side. Bakura cheeks flustered just a little bit and she opened her mouth to say something she supposed he's right.
They are rather flat, "Your so flat chested we might as well call you Pancake," Bakura felt her ears burn and stared promptly at the floor.
"S-Shut up!" Bakura huffed loosing her temper she stood up and threw a punch hitting him flat in the face.
"FUCK!" Screeched Yami Marik nursing an injured nose Bakura glared at him and Marik stared at him teeth bared. But it quickly faded away to more snickering, "I can't help it Pancake! It's just so hilarious!" Ha! Laugh it up!
Bakura face turned magenta, it's rare for her to get so flustered. "Shut up you dimwitted – It's not my fault that you have no breasts."snickered Dark Marik turning around and clutching at his stomach. The laughter got louder.
"And why would Bakura need breasts? Would you please stop fighting." It's Ryou he's obviously dressed in his street clothes. But why should she care still he's wearing you guessed it a blue and white striped shirt.
A black leather jacket of some kind she loved those. Playing Host for her as he had the jacket had been one of his best idea's ever. Still his flat bored look turned into one of mild surprise seeing her all flustered the way she is.
"Please no fighting in the store," the girl spoke up hesitantly and Bakura blinked glancing at her before turning around and storming out of the store. Dumb idiots! The last thing she needs is Ryou getting fired because of her.
Hands curled into fist she gritted her teeth she'd get her revenge somehow. A glint appeared in her eyes when she heard the ringing of a bell. "Bakura," she heard Ryou racing after her his face flustered he stared at her for a moment.
"What?" Bakura rounded on him face flustered she rubbed at her eyes a bit. A moment later Yami, Yugi, and Dark Marik his bitch came out of the store. They all stared at her and she fumed ears and neck going red.
He had come out to make sure she didn't go and get a knife probably. Fuming she's glaring holes threw him and Ryou flinches. Her dark anger mustered inside and her glint has become a full fledged death grip.
Ryou pondered for a moment like he's not sure what to say, so he'd just learned it too. "I had my suspicions." Bakura blinked so she hadn't done that good of a job of pretending to be male Ryou had thought as much.
"So you really are a girl aren't you?" He walked a bit closer as if seeing her for the first time. Bakura growled like a mad cat. Glinting her eyes at him she stared daggers at the gang behind him. They all had this deer in the head lights look.
Oh shit Ryou is going to kill her, for the past six months she's been making him buy Pads for his 'girlfriend.' Still she's averting her gaze for a moment and stiffly turns around like a creaky floor board. "So?"
"I see," Ryou added after a moments pause still most of the red on her skin has faded away. Or at least in her mind it has. She can will away the blush right Ryou walks up to her and she feels an electricity through out her body.
All of her hair is standing on end, "Alright here," he lifted out his hand turning his palm around and deposited a key in the palm of her hand. "Go back to the apartment I'll be home in a few hours maybe." he turned around.
It pained her to admit it but she's thrown to a loop, she hadn't expected teasing from them. But it had been partly her fault for reacting in such a way. Sure she's used to dead things like ghosts, vengeful spirits being she was one. It had been all she use to think about.
Now Ryou is all she can think about to be honest. In the shower, when she cooked sure she's not innocent. But its like he's making her more perverted to be honest its a bit intimidating to be truthful not that she's going to be.
Bakura blinked watching Ryou walk off with his friends, those twisted Bastards. Still she noticed her face is still warmed. For some reason she felt a small pang of rage inside of her gut how dare he go off with them. After what they said to her!
Still the key is warm in her hand and it smells like Ryou slowly she begins the walk back to the apartment. Take a walk is Ryou favourite catch phrase when it comes to her he uses it more often then any other sentence.
And to be completely honest it dose work with her by the time she's made it to the apartment she's not as flustered as she use to be. Her fingers rustle with the keys after a while she opens the door before closing it behind her.
Dammit! Why did she have to be the one that got stuck on a Friday night at home? Still at least she's alone its been a while since she had some play time. Grunting a bit she stretched herself out on her bed resting her back on the bed board.
Pants slightly undone she let her finger caressed her cunt stroking it profoundly. Cheeks slightly flustered she could get some if she wanted to. Who wouldn't want her with this body? But then again she apparently could pull off being male pretty well.
A soft moan escaped her lips as a sense of pleasure hit her, legs stretching out it excited her a bit to leave the door open. She wondered what Ryou would think if he saw her like this still she tries to keep her voice down. Ryou with his soft pale skin he looked like an angel.
Grunting she allowed her fingers to stroke her softly stretching herself out like a catch she closed her eyes allowing her feet to dig into the bed. Sure it's rather humiliating to do this herself but still she is human. At least know she is and all humans have need.
Breathing she closed her eyes imagining what Ryou looked like without his shirt. Wait why did it always have to be Ryou? Face flustered she turned her back allowing her fingers to caress her public hair. This is safe no way to get pregnant the scent of her pleasure made her breathe heavily.
When she heard it the sound of a door opening her eyes widened her ears turned beat red. For a moment she's not quite sure what to do so she just freezes. Ryou is standing their with bags in his hand. She had been alone for nearly half an hour she hasn't unfrozen.
She swallows some spit in her throat the sound of him putting the bags on the floor made her stiffen. "Could you get out?" she barked at him face flustered. How much had he seen? Stiffening she didn't look at him.
His feet smacked the floor what the hell is he doing? "Get out!" She growled at him hearing him crawl onto the bed. What on earth dose he think he's doing? Why is he touching her? Bristling she feels the fever growing.
Oh God did he just walk in on her touching herself? Still she felt shame hit her hard. The sound of foot steps approaching the bed she let out a surprised gasp when his rough hands grabbed a hold of her left one. The one inside of her pants, she's not sure how to rearrange her face.
"How far did you get?" The question made Bakura stare at Ryou with confusion. Still he's coming closer and she's breathing heavily. Lifting up her hand she gasps when his free one slides over her hip and closer to her entrance.
"Wait a min- He shuts her up by kissing her hot on the mouth. What's that? His tongue has entered her mouth silencing her. Who dose he think he is huh? She's no ones Bitch still his mouth is so warm and inviting she closes his eyes.
"Wait a min," she starts again feeling his rough hands invade her rubbing the sides of her heated walls. At first it feels weird to have someones hands other then her own. For a few seconds she thinks its her imagination. He's not really here face turning beat red she can't let him see.
Blinking her eyes his fingers invade rubbing her cunt making her breathing laboured. Puffing hard he's so close. A look of determination in his eyes,"Ryou," he daringly comes closer she turns all the way around feeling his back touch her own.
Feeling him control her with his hands, hes basically screwing her with his finger. A feeling of delight plays out here. "I'll take that hand," she snapped feeling him grind her digging deeper this time she's not capable of stopping.
A sound escapes her, glinting her eyes she struggles but he brings her closer. Squirming her legs move on their own feeling his hands move in between. Plunging deeply hes in an out she can feel it so good she moans uncontrollably.
This isn't so bad he's warm but she finds herself being silent, "Just let me," Let him what? Still she feels no need to stop him. Is he after that? A glint appeared in her eyes did her Host think that suddenly their best friends?
Truth is he had no idea what she had been through. Why should she allow him to do what he wanted? The world dose not work that way after all. Sure their no longer at odds but that dose not make them friends.
More like acceptance and tolerance for one another. Ryou didn't know much about her to be honest and vice verse. She had no interest to charge into his soul room. Still to feel his fingers inside of her pants touching her like that.
The ugly paintings on the wall stare back at her, she glances around at the shelves littered with books. The room is basically empty like she is why is she acting such a way. She should have jumped him a long time ago, now he's jumping her.
Having him give her pause for rest he had taken her to an all time high. Her loins still tingled it felt more intense with his hand just resting their. Waiting to start again he generally stabs her wing her finger. But its not pain she feels still she hits him with her head gritting her teeth.
Grunting softly she feels her shoulders dig into his stomach feeling him gasp at her touch. Closing her eyes she needs to rest for a moment. His fingers move constantly stroking her hairy lion she keeps her eyes close feeling his mouth hovering over her ear.
"Just let me," he said again this time even more determined her eyes half opened. Host she should kill him for this.
"I'll cut your hand off if you don't get it out Host," her tone is slow mechanical why she is enjoying the stroking he might get the wrong idea. Still the tinglings in her loins are almost too much for her. She had dreams about him sure, if their would be no strings attached maybe.
Grunting her feet move in front of her and he retracts his hand. "Where do you think your," she stammered breathless collapsing in his lap. Still he's all around her now looking at her with interest. He seems happy with himself.
Snarling she bared her teeth at him but noticed his chocolate brown eyes steal her breath. Dammit how dare he look at her like that?His eyes are dazed sparkling he's really their holding onto her like that. Its enough to make her grit her teeth.
It's so hard to resist him when he's touching her. This is the first time he's ever done something like this before. Still she can't help it but react physically, "You really are quite something," she whispered her tone defiant.
Looking at her with those annoying eyes, her legs kick off the pillows feel his fingers return to her sweet spot, grunting as his finger entered her. A soft moan escaped her lips she buries her face into his shirt. "Fuck," she complained gritting her teeth.
Unable to control it sent a shiver running threw her, both of her hands are clutching the bed. While he finger Fucks her. A part of her is amazed maybe even slightly impressed that he dared to do this. The wave of pleasure makes her calm down a bit.
"Ah," a shark sound what the hell was that? What the Fuck? It didn't make any sense with herself she didn't make as many embarrassing noises. Still his hands are so warm and her face is getting hotter it feels like she has something stuck in her throat.
Her feet squirmed blocking his advance, "Ryou," she growled menacingly at him. "Just cause I'm a girl dose not mean you can just."Screw me! But she couldn't say that out loud. She's never seen Ryou like this before.
Eyes glancing wildly around the room she tries to push his hands away with her leg her hands are busy keeping her up. His fingers have sneaked around her stomach and have started to move up her milky white stomach.
Panting heavily he holds her their burying his face into her neck making her close her eyes tightly. The room seemed to almost spin his cologne almost acting like a drug. He had plenty of opportunists if he had thought she was a girl.
Gritting her teeth she growls at him with frustration feeling him kissing her on her throat. Oh, that felt nice she became still. Allowing him to touch her in such a way still her eyes half opened feeling him bring her down on the bed.
His heat left her but she didn't move not even when he left her their. Ryou is pretty cunning thought to do this now.
He's never been interested in her activities before. Still Ryou's cologne is nice and she can smell it coming off of him. Still Ryou has never made any demands of her not ever. She never had to pay any rent is this what this is?
Rent? Her Host wanted payment. It dose feel good however she blocks him off with her legs hitting his hand and trapping his hand. By now its soaked with her uh pleasure, that's what she's going to call it. Still to feel his squirming around in their made her freeze.
It's touching her just slightly Ryou face is red she can see it he won't go away. Closing her eyes again she feels his fingers touching her bush making her lips tremble her hands feel so limp she can't move if he gets in that'll be it.
Closing one eye she grunts feeling him watching her face. Why is he watching her so closely for? Still she can't say anything. She mumbles something while he inspects her. She can feel him grabbing her leg with his free hand,"You need to open them," A shiver and a grunt hits her.
It felt like a command something she's not use to she fights him, "Ah, Shit," she curses him when he yanks her legs apart after some difficulty. Why is he looking there for? Face flustered her pants have just about come off now.
For some reason just sitting on his lap had been enough to excited her. Glinting he's stupid to underestimate her however. Her body is tense waiting for the right moment not that she's seriously resisting. Sure she could play with him.
But to be honest things with Ryou are just different then with anyone else. While he's not a friend he's not someone she wants to damage. He has a future a chance and well he dose deserve one. It amazed her that he put up with her from the star.
"Don't look!" She snarls at him angrily what is he staring for? She bit her inner lip snap out of it Ryou! Still she can feel his gaze and humiliation burns in her gut, face, they throb her lady parts want to be touched.
That in itself is enough to make her want to bite him so she ends up snapping her teeth, "You've been warned!" She growled kicking out with her legs in a fit but he had no intention of letting her go. Her slight protest failed a bit.
He hasn't moved in again but she knows he will he's still a man. Ryou is still male he has needs the first day she admits she's female and all of this happens. Why is he ignoring her? He seems so focused so lost in his task.
When she felt his magic dipped fingers rest on either side of her legs giving her room to breath. He's basically laying on her now. Suddenly Ryou starts to move she's alerted by the fact he's hovering over the bed. Her hair out behind her this feels like what's coming.
"Ryou wait don't just," do what ever you want, Staring at him she narrows her eyes feeling a shudder run through out her entire body. A soft moan escapes her and she covers her mouth with both of her hands.
It sounded like she's in pain she licks her lips nervously feeling his hands wonder with her buttons pulling her pants down to the point their around her ankles. Why is he doing that for? Still his lips come close to her stomach but he dose not kiss her.
She can see his face dazed like he's drunk. Ryou never drinks thought he hates it still she takes in a breath when he kiss her. At least the alcohol would have been an excuse at least, this is so hot so fiery. Since when did Ryou have a pair?
Sure she'd love a taste alright she wanted a taste. But she didn't want anything else she's not exactly girlfriend material to be honest. More like dip and dash type thing still he seems to want her that much is clear.
Jerking back she turns her head to the opposite side of the room closing her eyes. "Oh," she breathed with surprise feeling her hand move to his head. Petting her affectionately feeling his free hand work with stroking her. At first its weird to have his fingers inside of her.
Her fingers claw at his arm, "Ryou this is," a little to much for her to take. Do all humans do things like this? Still his finger is stroking her and now he slides inside easily because she's all wet. His fingers move in an out around the sides of her walls. They become a bit braver adding two to the mix its enough to make her gasp.
Still her hips begin to move with him she's not sure when she started doing that. He coaches her like a shy kitten, "Your so beautiful Kura," Again with the nick name. Gasping with surprise he's moved so suddenly.
Bakura can't look he's on top of her staring at her half naked self. Face beat red she snarled at him glaring at him. This is! Ryou! How dare he do this!Without permission what dose he think this is a free ride?
She's lost track to how many times still the pleasure has become so much she makes soft noises. Her breathing has become hitched and what more is it's become so good. "Stop," he dose as she asks letting her catch her breath. His greedy lips kissing her stomach making her shiver.
It's not like in the movies Marik watch, sure she's not exactly quite but she's not screaming at the top of her lungs every five seconds. This is real and it's happened Ryou wanted to screw her brains out he could at least ask.
She didn't think it be like this she can't keep up with him. What more so is so far she hasn't done a thing. Ryou is doing things to her more so without permission and she's enjoying it to say the least. Ryou is a fool she can punish him later.
"Ryou that's enough," sure it felt good but she's not going to let him have some just because he wanted to. Still his fingers stroke the side of her hips touching her she jerks back. "Not their!" she snarls. Turning away shoulder in the air her fingers caress the bed.
Not looking at him she hasn't looked at him the entire time. Still she hears the bed creaks and she feels him touch her wrists. Picking them both up off the bed gritting her teeth she shot him a glare but he's staring at her. With this look of longing on his face. What does he think she'll fall for those puppy dog eyes of his.
Not sure how to mark her face her lips quiver she stares at him, his face has this serious look. What is he doing, why dose he get to take control? She's the one who usually has it. But still even as he kisses her full on the lips.
When did Ryou become so strong? He kisses her hotly his lips taste so good better then chocolate. If this is going to happen she can't just let him have her way with her. Oh no that's not going to happen she's not that generous.
"Cunning," she hissed into his ear nibbling on it a bit. The first time she's done anything to him. Ryou stays still while she snaps at his ear lobe. He inches closer surprising her by inserting a finger, making her squirm and jerk back with a hand in the air.
This lifts Ryou's hand as well he still has her captured. Ryou bumps into her she call feel his erection stabbing her in the thy. "Fuck Ryou get off of me," Bakura shouted her ears burning. She can feel it touching her.
Did she really want him to? If she did she could probably break his arm she's not some weak no muscle girl. Still its like her true fight isn't capable of coming out almost like she's a submissive but she really isn't.
Ah Fuck! "Ryou!" She cursed him menacingly kicking and grabbing at him at the same time. Breathing hard she closed her eyes. Fuck what is she suppose to do? Her body seems to crave him she pulls him aggressively into a kiss.
Now its time for him to make muffled sounds he's staring at her with a bit of surprise. That's right she's not the submissive one. Still his hands are resting on either side of her open hips. "Don't push them so hard." she protests feeling him yank open her legs.
"I want to see everything," Fuck! That throws her off guard why is he talking like a love sick puppy!? Honestly dose he not have an inch of pride? Glaring at him she ignores him grumbling turning her head away.
Closing her eyes they burn and her lips tremble again, "Oh is that all?" she feels pain strike her as odd she's completely wet now.
"This is as far you get you don't get to go the whole way," she scolded him seeing him stare at her with a red face. His ears turned red hot and for a moment silence engulfed them he suddenly jerked her legs a part and stared at her.
"Alright Kura," he said Kura softly she allowed him this time to stroke her legs. After a moment of being firmly gripped by him his head descended. What is he doing now? Generally he bought his mouth close and she can hear him smelling her.
What is he a dog? Still she lets out a startled gasp nearly punching him in the head with her knees. What the fuck? "Ah!" She cries out in alarm eyes closed at once her fingers abandoned the conquest retreating back to the bed.
"Ryou what do you think," His tongue massage her making her moan. Oh fuck yes! He lapped every inch of her hungrily. Ryou! He's either a fucking pig or a genius she's not sure which. She's only been a girl for a few hours and yet. Still she blinks back her tears before covering her face with both arms.
Breathing hard she gives up allowing the sounds to escape her when he moved her the right way. His arms seemed determined to push her hips up. To make her open when she rested them on his body breathing hard the pleasure has become too much. She can't think only make the appropriate noise when he licked her.
How could he do that? Closing her eyes she gasp spluttering fuck he's good! Did that mean that Ryou is experienced? "Ryou Fuck that's enough I've had enough." Bakura snapped covering her face and hiding.
She turned on him sticking her bare feet in his face. "Why don't you get out! OUT!" She shouted at him screeching at him. Ryou just sat their for a few moments while she hid from him.
Fuck it! What the hell! Did he think he could just bump uglies with her without permission? Screw this! As if she's that easy! Still she had allowed him to do more then...then she'd like to admit. Thought allowing had nothing to do with it. She couldn't bring herself to hit him.
Slowly Ryou sat up face flustered, "Bak," he started but he climbed out of the bed anyways. She could tell because his weight disappeared. Covering her face with her hand she heard Ryou approach the door way before closing it behind him. Fuck! Where is her Shadow Room when she needs it? Gritting her teeth she bit her hand.
Ah! It hurt but she ignored it! Ah! She had said! How fucking humiliating all because of little Ryou. Ryou who finger screwed her on her bed. When had he become so daring? Groaning she hiccoughed hating herself even more when her finger went to investigate.
What the fuck had that been? Embarrassed she closed her eyes. To most this would be like a dream but it felt like a nightmare to her. Clinging her eyes water she hadn't cried in years not even when she had 'died'. Not that she's balls out shit crying still Ryou had done this to her.
What the hell? "Shit," she cursed grabbing the blankets she struggled to replace his warmth with something else. But her body tingled everywhere it's scarring that she had enjoyed it so much. What the Fuck had that been?
Ryou had done what ever he wanted! Without caring about the consequences! How could he? They weren't even courting for God's sake! Her Mother would have banished her if she had been alive. Sitting their she stared at the door.
Perhaps she had given him the wrong idea by taking his name. Still she can't help but feel these emotions rushing through her. Her body ached where he had caressed and kissed her. She can still feel the sounds of his breath.
See his shoulders in the day light see the focus on his face. His face is enough to make her groan. When had she lost so much self control? When had she become so utterly helpless? It's not fair she's suppose to be the thief.
Fuck! When had she become so weird? So hopelessly needy when it came to him. Still when it's herself she can control it. Ryou had brought her to a level she didn't understand. Still breathing she pulled herself into a sitting position feeling it deep inside. A tingling in her lower body part, that made her want to pull out her hair.
No! She won't let little Ryou fuck her. NO! NO! She's not his Bitch! Shaking her head she found the spare pillow and buried her face in it. She let go of it with shaky hands it smells of him! Still she couldn't let go of it. Holding onto it tightly she closed her eyes. Allowing her to relish in the silence.