For the purposes of this story—
Blue and Magenta are not cousins, they're lovers (I cannot recall if they're related on the show)
Shovel and Bucket are boyfriend/girlfriend
Disclaimer: I only own my own Handy Dandy Notebook, everything else is not mine.
Blind Man's Clue
The sun yawned and rose tentatively over the yellow house with the purple rose. Light splayed across the early morning activities, and it seemed like it would be a good day. Looks can be deceiving though.
Take Shovel, for example. She was slender for a shovel, tall and yellow. And yet, for a shovel she was also an exceptional beauty. It was no wonder Bucket was dating her. Shovel hopped along the garden on her way to the kitchen. She hadn't seen her beau, yet this morning but she figured she would when she picked up breakfast. Determined to stay optimistic, she whistled. They would meet back at their house by the shed later, she assumed.
As she passed by the flowers she saw Magenta. The pink dog was busy watering the flowers. "Good morning," Shovel said in a chipper tone.
Magenta set down the hose and nodded. "Hello."
"Lovely flowers." Shovel remarked as she looked over the daises and forget-me-knots.
Magenta shrugged. "Just trying to make things a little bit more," Magenta paused to organize his thoughts, "colorful." Shaking his head he added, "It's been a bit dull around here lately."
"Oh I don't know about that." Shovel shrugged. "With the disappearances…"
"It's none of my concern." Magenta said putting a paw on the water spigot. "If you'll excuse me, I've got to get something from the tool shed."
Magenta turned and walked away. Shovel shouted out, "Do you have a key?"
Magenta was already gone. Shovel looked back at the flowers. "Oh well. They are lovely flowers." She bent over and picked up one of the daises. "I think Bucket will like one."
Flower in hand, she continued on her way to the kitchen. It looked like the day was improving steadily.
o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o
Mr. Salt set down the paper and looked over at his wife. There was nothing interesting the news today, just more useless promises from the police that the illegal dog fighting ring would be shut down soon. First they had to find the thing, but the ring leaders were so far, un-caught. Politics and paper work at their best, he sighed. Mr. Salt didn't know what was more upsetting, the kidnappings, or the fighting. Seeing his wife, all his tension faded. Mrs. Pepper was spoon feeding Paprika. "How did I get so lucky?" He walked over and kissed her on the cheek. "I love living here with you and our girl."
"I love you too." She smiled and kissed him back. "Was there anything new in the paper today? It's a shame what happened to Lassie."
Mr. Salt nodded. "There weren't anymore updates in the paper today."
"Have you seen Timmy lately?" Mrs. Pepper said as Paprika started to coo. "He was so distraught about Lassie missing."
"Everyone is." Mr. Salt said shaking his head. "I saw him hanging missing posters again toady."
Mrs. Pepper's reply was cut off as Shovel hopped into the kitchen with a cheery, "Good morning."
"Shovel!" Paprika chirped with a little wave.
"How are you this morning?" Mr. Salt said.
Shovel walked over to the loaf of bread. "Oh you know, the day's off to a great start." She dragged two pieces of bread over to the toaster and dropped them in. She pressed the lever done and turned around to face them. "Have you guys seen Bucket?"
"Not yet." Mrs. Pepper raised her eyebrows. "Where could he be?"
At that moment, Steve ran in. His lanky frame propelled him unbelievably fast across the kitchen floor. He nearly slipped in his socks, but he grabbed onto the kitchen counter and froze wide eyed. "I can't…you won't…" He panted.
Shovel touched his elbow. "Take a deep breath, Steve. What's wrong?"
Steve looked down at Shovel and he lowered his eyes. "Shovel..I found Bucket."
She smiled widely. "Great, where is he?"
"Dead." Steve said softly. "By Blue's toy box."
Mr. Salt immediately clapped two hands over Paprika's ears. "Are you fucking serious?" he hissed. "Bucket can't be…"
Steve looked up. "Someone kicked Bucket to death, and then finished him with an ax."
Shovel looked up at Steve with watery eyes, searching his face for a twitch, or any slight movement to indicate that this was all just some sick joke. Steve's face remained flushed, his eyes a dark brown, and his mouth set in a deep frown. "Take me to him." Shovel demanded.
"I don't think so." Steve shook his head. "It's awful…"
"Let's go." She repeated.
Steve rubbed small circles on his forehead and sighed. "I'm not sure about this." He looked at her. "I'm going back out there, but first let me get Notebook. We've got to figure this out."
Paprika began to wail and Mr. Salt hastily withdrew his hands. "Let us know if there's anyway we can help," he said over the cries.
"Just try to keep the others from panicking." Steve said as he walked out of the kitchen.
o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o
"She was as yellow as a traffic cone and just as loud as she burst screaming on to the crime scene. The scene was like an old photograph, you couldn't hardly make out the details but one thing was clear: there was more to this case than black and white, there were shades of gray. The blood on the ground was as red as…"
"Notebook, knock that shit out." Steve glared at the pad of paper in his hand.
"Sorry, Steve." Notebook said dropping his grizzly tone. He blushed and his yellow pages turning a darker shade to almost mustard color.
Shovel continued to sob as she looked at the scene. Blue's toy box had fallen over, and several squeaky toys her thrown across the room. The carpet was covered in blood and chipped pieces of red plastic, as well as half of Bucket's handle. Shovel remembered how much she loved to stroke that handle and sobbed even more. Then she turned her eyes to the farthest wall and gasped as the gravity of the situation hit her. Bucket was slumped against the wall with his eyes wide open in shock. He had choked on his own blood, and there was a large crack in the middle of her forehead. The ax was missing, but it was clearly the murder weapon.
"Look!" She sobbed, the first coherent word she had spoken. Steve followed the direction of her hand and saw the same damning clue.
Bloody paw prints.
Shovel spun on Steve. "This is all your goddamn fault Steve!" She hissed. "You asshole, how did you not know that mutt was dangerous?!" She hit her small fists against his leg and cried even harder. "This is all your fault…all your fault," her small voice broke with the next words, "Bucket is dead."
Steve bent down and looked her in the eye. "I promise you Shovel, I'll find the killer."
"You damn well better." Shovel hissed as she turned around. "Speak of the Devil!" she gasped.
Blue was sitting in the doorway with her head hung low. "Oh my god," she kept saying as she looked across the room. "Oh my god.."
Steve noticed there was blood on your paws.
In three quick strides he was on the other side of the room, holding Blue still by the scruff of the neck. "Blue," he said in a tone of voice only reserved for threatening Door-to-Door Religious Representatives and Tax Collectors, "Why the fuck is their blood on your paws?"
Blue whimpered. "Steve, Steve, you gotta believe me—haven't I been a good dog? A good pet?" She looked up at him with big blue eyes. "I didn't do it, I didn't. Put me down, Steve. Please?"
Steve pointed an accusing finer at her paws. "Why are your paws bloody, Blue?"
"You're pathetic." Shovel muttered. "I can't believe you killed him."
Blue licked at Steve's hand, gently trying to bye sympathy. "No, no, Steve you don't understand. Bucket was my friend, too." Steve drew back his hand and she looked up at him. "I wanted to see if there were any clues. I wanted to know who killed my friend. I didn't kill him."
Steve let go of Blue and took a deep breath. "You're off the hook for now."
"What?!" Shovel screeched. "She clearly did it!" Steve turned to glare at her, but she held up her hand. "Screw you Steve. If you're not gonna find out who did it, I will." She pushed her way past him and stormed out of the room.
Blue watched her leave and turned back to Steve. "What have you found so far?" she sniffed.
Steve looked at the Notebook. "Nothing but problems," the Notebook sighed, "Maybe Bucket was being blackmailed."
Blue snapped. Or rather, she would have if she had fingers. As it was, she let out a small yip of excitement. "Let's go check the mail box!"
Steve looked down at the Notebook. "Okay, that is a good idea, but really—you are not a P.I."
"If you say so Boss." Notebook said with a wink.
Steve rolled his eyes and walked out of the room. As soon as Blue was through the door, he locked it. "To preserve any other un-tampered evidence," Steve replied to the question he saw on Blue's face.
Blue nodded and walked towards the main door. Steve followed her closely, keeping his suspicions at bay. "Why so silent?" Notebook asked.
"Thinking." Steve mused. "Just wondering who kicked the Bucket."
"Bucket." Notebook clarified.
"No, I mean who killed him!" Steve snapped.
Mailbox looked up at the angry tone. "Jesus Steve, you scared me."
"Hey Mailbox," Steve acknowledged. "Got any mail?"
Blue glared at the Mailbox. Mailbox swallowed his fears back and looked from Blue to Steve. Tentatively, he began to speak, "Actually, yes."
"It's probably nothing." Blue said with a smile. She shot a quick glance over at Mailbox to say no further.
"Mailbox, what is it?" Steve prompted.
"The tension was so thick you could cut it with a butter knife." Notebook began excitedly.
"Hush." Steve commanded and turned back to Mailbox.
"I've been getting letters."
"See? Nothing." Blue interrupted. "Let's go find some real clues."
Steve turned to Blue and made a motion for her to remain silent. She rested on her haunches and lowered her head as Mailbox continued, uninterrupted. "Strange letters, with the address scrawled in weird handwriting." Mailbox lowered his voice as he added, "And they were all addressed to Blue."
At that moment Shovel came barging out the front door holding a stack of letters. "Look what I found!" She was yelling to Steve.
Blue jumped up. "Hey, those are mine!"
"Hold up!" Steve called getting in between them. He took the letters from Shovel and held them in front of Mailbox. "Are these them?"
"Yeah." Mailbox nodded and waved his flag at them.
Steve looked down at Blue. He shook the letters in front of her face. "What are you hiding?"
"Nothing, nothing." Blue stammered. "They're just letters."
Magenta strolled out of the house and rolled his eyes. "Quit the act, Blue."
"See?" Shovel said excitedly. Her eyes were blood shoot as she smiled. "I told you, I told you! And you still picked that mutt over me!"
"Shovel, you're not the only one who's lost someone today." Steve turned to Blue. "Do you want to explain yourself?"
Blue bit her lip and sighed. "Alright, fine. They're my… love letters." Magenta scowled at his girlfriend. Blue looked at him pleadingly. "I'm sorry, baby…"
"Don't give me that crap." Magenta growled barring his teeth. "Where did you meet him?"
"The Pound." Blue said, flinching. "It's the bar over …"
"I know where it is." Magenta cut her off. "I want a name. I want to know why you would leave me for some street trash."
"Hey!" Blue snapped. "Red treats me better than you ever have! He actually remembers my birthday!"
Steve watched them bicker. He whispered to the Notebook. "Does any of this seem odd to you?"
Notebook nodded yes slowly. Shovel pointed a finger at Blue. "I just want to know why you wanted to kill my Bucket!"
"I didn't!" Blue said forcefully. "I was going to run away, okay? That's what these letters were. Red said we could," Blue looked away from Steve's damning eyes, "Red said we could start over."
"But Blue, I thought you liked it here." Steve practically yelled. "Hell, you smack your paw print on nearly everything."
"Do you think that's all there is?" Blue snapped at Steve. "Clues?" Blue shook her head. "Then you've missed the biggest one of all. I'm going to go pack."
"Great!" Shovel shook her fist in the air. "You keep screwing up all the evidence." She spit on the ground in front of Steve and stormed away. "I'll prove it, I'll prove it … I swear. I will have my justice."
Blue stormed off while Magenta stood their breathing smoke. "That bitch." Magenta hissed. "That self centered cheating bitch…"
Steve took a deep breath. "Magenta, wow. I'm sorry this must be quite a shock to you…"
Magenta rolled his eyes. "Steve, you are such a moron."
He turned around and left. Steve watched him go and scowled. Something was wrong. Well, aside from the dead bucket. Besides the sheer impossibility of a dead bucket, there was also the romantic drama going around. Steve looked at Notebook and then at the Mailbox. "Did either of you guys know about this?"
Mailbox looked guilty as Notebook nodded. "Sorta…" they mumbled.
"He was pretty upset, and asked us to keep it a secret."
"He found out three days ago."
"Great." Steve said sarcastically. His eyebrows furrowed into concentration. "I can't deal with this on an empty kitchen. I'm going to the kitchen."
Steve stuck the Notebook in his breast pocket and turned to leave. As he walked away Mailbox called out, "Wait! Bring me a bagel!" Steve wasn't yet out of ear shot, but he pretended to be. "Damnit," Mailbox growled, "No one ever feeds me."
o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o
Paprika arranged her toy blocks and giggled. Mrs. Pepper patted the top of her head gently and smiled. Mr. Salt looked at them adoringly. "It's such a shame about Bucket."
Mrs. Pepper nodded sadly. They hadn't known Bucket well, but he had always been a supportive friend. Whenever Paprika needed a ride, he always offered. And he was such a sweet boyfriend; he'd always been so loving to Shovel. He was the most romantic man Mrs. Pepper knew, second only to her husband. "Personally, I think Blue did it." She remarked.
"But why?" Mr. Salt remarked. "He had no motive…"
"Where are the bagels?" Steve said as he walked into the room.
"Oh, hello to you too." Mr. Salt sniffed as he pointed to the bagels.
Steve picked up the bag and frowned. "These are sesame seed. I'm allergic!"
Mrs. Pepper shrugged. "It wasn't our turn to do the shopping. If you have a problem, tell…" her voice dropped as she realized her mistake. It was Bucket's turn to do the shopping. Another painful reminder of the friend they'd lost. She gestured to the cabinet by Steve's head. "I just put away the bread."
Steve dropped the bag of bagels and cleared his throat. As he reached up and grabbed the loaf of bread he muttered, "Thanks. Sorry I snapped, the tension's kinda high today."
"It's alright," Mrs. Pepper sighed, "Just put it away when you're done."
"What?" Steve dropped the piece of bread in the toaster and turned around. "What did you just say?"
"She said to put it back." Mr. Salt said. "Look I know it's been a tough day, but no need to yell at my wife."
Steve flashed a bright smile. "I'm not mad! That's the last clue!" He dropped the loaf of bread on the counter and stepped toward the door. He waved his hand and bobbed his head. "Get everyone together by the Thinking Chair in fifteen minutes. I'll be right back!"
He ran out the back door. Paprika looked at the bread on the counter and pouted. "Mummy, he didn't put it away…"
o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o
Steve ran through the garden and stopped in front of the tool shed. To prevent people from breaking into it, or worse from hurting themselves with the tools, he kept it locked at all times. Only one person a week was allowed to have the key. Steve inspected the lock on the tool shed. "What is it?" Notebook asked, peering over the edge of the pocket. "Do you see something I don't?"
"No." Steve said as he dropped the lock. It hung firmly on the door; effectively locking the tool shed shut. "The lock's in place- nothing's broken."
Before Notebook could ask another question, Steve was already on the move. "I know who the murderer is."
"To the thinking chair?" Notebook asked happily.
"I'm afraid so." Steve sighed as he grabbed his fedora and left the backyard.
o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o
"Where's Steve?" Magenta paced in front of the chair. "And why are we here?"
"He's not here yet." Mrs. Pepper said as she rocked Paprika in her arms. "But he said it was important."
"Mur—der." Paprika giggled.
"The suspects were gathered around like a bunch of carnies, and everyone one of them was an oddity." Notebook announced as he and Steve walked in.
Steve glared at him and he fell silent. "Where's Blue?" Steve said as he looked around.
"Couldn't find him."
"Murderer skipped town." Shovel said venomously.
"Shovel, we're all upset over Bucket's murder," Steve said between gritted teeth, "You're not the only one hurting. You have to realize; it wasn't Blue."
Mr. Salt and Mrs. Pepper exchanged a glance. Several other animated objects began to chatter excitedly. Steve held up his hands and a hushed silence fell on the crowd. Steve walked through them to his plush red arm chair, and he slumped into the cushions. "But I do know who it is."
"How?" Magenta looked up in surprise.
"Interesting you should ask." Steve said coldly. "Since it earlier occurred to me that there wasn't one set of dog paw prints at the crime scene—there was two." An audible gasp went around the room as Steve continued. "Two distinctly separate tracks in blood."
"So?" Magenta shrugged. "Blue covered her tracks. What's your point? She probably got blood all over the ax too."
"What ax?" Steve said as he flipped through Notebook's pages. "I don't remember telling anyone aside from Shovel, Blue and Notebook."
Magenta bit his tongue. Mr. Salt's eyes were as wide as dinner plates. "Are you saying, that…" He looked over at Magenta and back at Steve.
"You don't have any proof." Magenta snarled.
"The ax, yes the one that killed Bucket, was put back in the shed." Steve looked around. "And that means whoever killed Bucket put it away. Whoever has the key is the murderer."
All eyes turned to Magenta. "The flowers sure looked nice," Shovel sneered. "Haven't you been on garden duty this week?"
"No wait…" Magenta backed away from them slowly. "I didn't mean to kill Bucket. Blue was cheating on me- I had to get revenge…"
With a flash, the power went off. Magenta sighed in relief until she head a howl in the distance. There was a crash and everyone turned towards the door. Two silhouettes stood in the doorway. One was a broad barrel chest-ed dog, with pointed ears. In the dim light of the outside lights, he looked like a menacing German Shepard. At the beasts' side was a more familiar figure. "Her figure was as curvaceous and twisted as her personality," Notebook muttered darkly.
"Blue?" Steve called out. "Come in, I was just about to go fix the power."
Blue raised her paw, and a shot rang out. There was a muffled cry and a thump as Steve fell to the flow. A silent wave of panic flooded the room. She lowered the smoking gun and barked out, "Everyone against the wall!"
"What's going on?" Magenta demanded as he held up his paws. "Is this who you were cheating on me with?"
"Honey," Blue said calmly, "I wasn't cheating on you. I was scheming against Steve."
Mr. Salt and Mrs. Pepper looked down at the ground. Steve was face down, unmoving in all the chaos. "Scheming?" Mr. Salt asked tentatively. "What are you planning?"
"Lassie didn't fall down a well." Blue smirked. "And you're all going to join her as the evening's entertainment at the Pound."
The German Shepard laughed. It was a deep chuckle, the kind only idiots make when they don't fully understand a joke. "Be quiet, Red." Blue glared at him.
He jerked his head in the hostage's direction. "Sorry, baby." Red said in a deep voice, "What should we do with them?"
Blue looked at them thoughtfully. "Kill half. We only need the ones who can fight; Those that will really get the crowds betting." Blue looked over at Magenta. "But especially kill him."
"I can't believe you." Magenta hissed.
"A life for a life, that's fair." Blue shrugged. She nodded to Red to start.
Shovel leaned against the wall fuming. Her boyfriend was dead. Her boyfriend was dead. And no matter how times she told herself that, she couldn't get it through her head. It wasn't fair that life was so short. She missed kissing him, and she especially missed lying next to him. She looked from Magenta to Blue. Well, she thought bitterly, the enemy of my enemy is mine enemy. Or something. Resolved that she had nothing left to lose, Shovel let loose a horrendous battle cry and lunged. She dived immediately at Blue and tackled her to the ground.
Table, who had been previously frozen in shock, waddled into action. With all four legs in motion, he rushed at Red. Surprised by the attack, Red had little time to defend himself. He was quickly knocked over by the table. Soon, the other members of the household followed suit.
As Shovel and Blue wrestled with each other, Blue fumbled with the gun. Grunting, she swung her heavy paws at Shovel. But Shovel's attack was unrelenting. Blue snapped her jaws as she finally got a good grip on the pistol.
As soon as it went off, all motion in the room froze. "Back down." Blue snarled
Shovel took a step back, fuming. Her head was nicked, but for the most part the bullet had gone wild. Shovel turned around at the sound of a whimpering noise. "Magenta!" Shovel gasped.
"Well, that's not a complete loss." Blue remarked as she waved the gun. "If one of you steps out of line again, I will kill two of you."
Magenta whimpered on the ground, as he bled steadily. "Won't that cut into profits?"
"I don't really give a shit." Blue snapped. "I'm just sick of this house and sick of Steve's stupid little games!"
"That's not what you promised earlier." Red hissed out of the corner of his mouth.
"Surprise, criminals lie." Blue rolled her eyes. "C'mon let's get them into their kennels."
"This would be easier if I could see." Red grumbled.
"I told you, the darkness gives us an advantage." Blue walked out the door and pulled in one of the kennels from the porch. "Now who's first?"
"I think you are." Red said in a low voice. "You seem like you could be a good fighter, and you are a bitch."
"Technicality. And Red, you couldn't run this operation without me."
Red reached for the knife in his pocket. "Did you really think you could just steal everything?"
"Yes, actually."
Magenta laughed from the floor. In a raspy voice he called, "Guess what Red? She treats all her boyfriends like dog meat."
"Shut up." Blue snapped.
Red looked over at Magenta. Then he looked over at Blue. He raised his paw and slapped her across her cheekbone. "You should show me more respect."
Mrs. Pepper covered Paprika's eyes. Blue looked up and raised her gun. "Wrong move." She started to aim which caused a whimper to spread among the assorted animated objects. But Red knocked it out of her hand. "Not funny Red," Blue drawled.
"I'm not laughing," Red snarled as he attacked her with the knife. She screamed as he stabbed her, but her noises were drowned out by the rabbles and screams in the room. "Knock it out!" Red yelled. "All of you!"
Magenta's legs shook as she raised herself up to her feet. "You are not welcome here." He snarled. "We will not fight for you or your stupid bar." With the last of his strength, Magenta lunged at Red and went straight for the Sheppard's throat. As he crushed the other dog's larynx, they fell into a motionless heap on the ground.
For a moment no one moved. Shovel spoke up first. "Serves him right."
There was mutterings of approval. "What about Steve?" Mr. Salt asked.
Shovel looked over. "Someone, go reset the electricity." Shovel pointed at three terrified teddy bears. "You guys. And someone else get a phone." She hopped over to Steve's side. "Can I get someone help rolling him over?"
Steve groaned as they rolled him over, and a sigh of relief traveled through the crowd. The lights to the house flickered on and illuminated the situation. Steve was shot in the shoulder, bleeding heavily but it looked like he'd made it. His eyelids fluttered open and his brown eyes looked around. He searched their eyes for meaning.
"You were right." Notebook declared. "Magenta kicked the Bucket. In the yellow house, in a fit of jealous rage."
"And Blue?" Steve said. "What happened to her? Did she… She shot me?"
Everyone avoided his gave for a second. Finally, Mrs. Pepper spoke up, "Blue shot you. She was trying to kidnap us."
Steve sat up and looked over at the corpses on the living room floor. Shovel saw where he looked. "I guess love makes you blind." She said in a failed attempt at being helpful.
Paprika patted Steve's arm gently as a tear fell down his cheek. Mrs. Pepper sighed. "Steve, honey, don't feel bad. Blue's clues were vague…"
"But why didn't I see it?" Steve said tiredly as he rested his head in his hands. "I should have seen the clues." He looked up at them and sighed. "I guess you can't solve them all."
.:the end:.