WARNINGS: Explicit content referring to sex between men.

Interviewer: What is the name of your partner?

Allen crosses his arms and turns his back to Kanda. "Kanda Yuu."

Kanda stares at his back. "Allen Walker. Now stop acting like a two-year-old!"

Interviewer: Age of your partner?

"Nineteen," Allen muttered.

"Sixteen."

Over his shoulder, Allen sticks his tongue out. "Pervert!"

Interviewer: Gender of your partner?

"We're both guys," Kanda answers.

Interviewer: What are you fighting about?

"BaKanda's being a bastard again!" Allen growled. Kanda rolls his eyes. "You know what? Screw it!"

He grabs the younger male by the waist and pulls him to his chest. Allen smiles and lets out a purr before he cuddles closer to his partner.

What the Hell? the interviewer asked mentally.

Interviewer: Describe your partner.

"A jerk," Allen replied, his legs over Kanda's lap. "Emotionless, irritating, and mean, but he can be good to me on very rare occasions."

Kanda paused for a moment. "He's annoying and acts on his emotions too much. But he's extremely sweet and loving."

Interviewer: Describe your partner as an animal.

"A jackass," Allen said. Kanda glared at him. "A Moyashi."

"That's not an animal!"

Interviewer: I repeat, describe your partner as an animal.

Allen falls silent. Kanda says, "A wolf. Beautiful, cares about others, protective, and ferocious."

The interviewer and Allen blush. Kanda continues, "For the record, the Baka Moyashi blackmailed me into answering these questions."

"Yes, I did. And am very happy with my work," Allen says. "I say a crow. Despite what others think, crows are extremely smart. They prefer solitude. Call me weird, but I think they're gorgeous."

Interviewer: Have you ever been on a date?

"Sort of..?" Allen says uncertainly.

"We mostly stay in one of our rooms and do things," Kanda says. Allen quickly adds, "By 'do things', he didn't mean sex!"

Kanda gives his partner a confused look, and the younger male corrected, "Not always sex. Sometimes we just spend time together."

Interviewer: On the topic of sex, let's go on to those questions. Who's seme and who's uke?

"You have a section on that?" Kanda asks with an eyebrow raised. Allen shrugs. "Whatever. I'm always seme."

Kanda glares at him. "Liar."

"Who? Me?" he asks innocently. Kanda rolls his eyes. "We switch."

Interviewer: Who's more submissive?

"I don't keep track," Kanda mutters.

"I don't think that she means number. Think personality," Allen says. Kanda closes his eyes and leans his head back onto the couch. "Moyashi."

"It's Allen, BaKanda!"

Interviewer: Who initiates?

"Me mostly, unless Kanda's irritated," Allen says.

Interviewer: Compared to how long you've been together, how long have you been having sex?

Kanda says, "We've been having sex for a year, together for two years."

The interviewer mouths to Allen, "He keeps up with it?"

"Yep!" Allen says and nods before he nuzzles closer to Kanda.

Interviewer: What's the most embarrassing thing that's happened while you two were having sex?

Kanda growls, "The dumbass Usagi happened."

Allen shudders at the thought. "Picture us falling in the shower. Well, the noise was so loud that several people thought it was an akuma. Lavi busted down the bedroom and bathroom door before finding us all over each other, completely oblivious to what was going on."

"I don't believe that that's what happened," Kanda muttered.

Interviewer: Romantic or kinky?

"Romantic," Kanda says reluctantly. Allen smiles. "I love my blackmailing abilities. To answer the question, I think you can do both at the same time. Just because something's kinky doesn't mean it can't be romantic, too. I like both."

Kanda glanced at his partner. "And everyone thought you were oh so innocent."

Interviewer: When it's oral sex, would you rather give or get?

Kanda grumbles about stupid questions under his breath. Allen says, "Give."

"Get," the samurai said. The interviewer looks at Allen questioningly, and Kanda continues, "He means it. Not as much now, but he tends to freeze up and flip positions whenever I try to give him a blowjob."

After he took an elbow to his gut, Kanda says, "Your blackmail flipped on you."

"Shut up, BaKanda."

Interviewer: Spit or swallow?

"Swallow," Kanda says. "Don't you people have boundaries?"

Allen says, "Swallow."

Interviewer: Have you ever used sex toys?

"Does edible body paint count?" Allen asks. Kanda rolls his eyes. "No, Baka Moyashi."

Interviewer: Views on dirty talk?

"Kanda likes giving it, and I like taking it," Allen said.

"But I don't degrade him, mind you," Kanda mutters. Allen nods. "Nothing bad. It's not saying, 'you look like my bitch when I top'. It's more of, 'you sound sexy when you moan like that'."

"I have never said either of those things!" Kanda says.

His partner replies, "I realize that. You'd kill me if I repeated some of the things you've said."

Interviewer: Say you two never met and don't know each other. Who would be your next choice to have sex with?

Kanda doesn't comment. Allen snuggles closer to his partner, who still doesn't speak. "I wouldn't. Kanda and I waited a year, and I don't have sex to have sex. It's to show love."

"The Moyashi's right," Kanda says.

"It's Allen, BaKanda! A-L-L-E-N! How hard is it?!" Allen says exasperatedly.

"Moyashi."

Interviewer: Why would you choose that person? What certain qualities about that person do you find the most intriguing?

Allen gives the interviewer a confused look. "Didn't we already cover this?"

"Moyashi's right," Kanda says.

"ALLEN!"

Interviewer: Would you ever consider a three or foursome with that or those people?

"Are you a robot? There is no other person or people!" Allen says. Kanda nods. "Moyashi's right."

Allen glares at his partner. "BaKanda, I swear, I'm going to punch you."

Interviewer: What qualities do you find intriguing about each other?

"He's a moyashi," Kanda says. Allen squeezes Kanda's thigh in a death grip, but the victim shows no sign of pain. He answers, "His hair is the most beautiful thing I've ever seen."

Kanda says, "The fact that he actually tries to love me is a miracle in and of itself. I find it amazing he had the guts to do it in the first place."

Interviewer: If you could change one thing about yourself that you think would make your partner happy, what would it be?

"My lack of emotion," Kanda says. Allen replies, "You could change it."

"I refuse to."

Allen rolls his eyes. "I would change my hero complex."

"Dare you lie," Kanda growled. Allen smiled. "What are you―?"

He's cut off by Kanda's sharp glare. The younger male pulled away slightly, but Kanda pulled him back and said, "You made me swear that I'd answer all the questions. You will not lie."

Allen looked down and fell silent for a few moments. After a while, he murmured, "How I look."

"Huh?" Kanda and the interviewer ask. Allen turns his back to Kanda. "I'd change how I look."

Interviewer: What would you change about your partner?

"Wait a second, what the hell are you talking about?" Kanda asked.

"I would change his need to call me 'Moyashi'," Allen says. Kanda curses and all but jumps on his partner.

"K-K-Kanda?!" Allen nearly squeaks. "What are you doing?!"

Kanda pins Allen's hands above his head, and he growls, "Tell me what you meant by that or I won't answer."

Allen turned his head to stare at the back of the couch. "You're gorgeous. Beautiful and sexy. And I'm…I'm just…scarred and freakishly ugly."

Kanda went still, just staring at his partner. After a moment, he said, "If I could change something about him, I would change his self-confidence."

Allen frees his hands and wraps them around Kanda's neck before he pulls the older male closer and kisses him. When they break apart, Kanda says, "If you give me a boner, you will be taking care of it."

Interviewer: What is your favorite thing to do in bed?

"Top, doggy style," Allen says.

"Talking dirty," Kanda says. Allen blushes slightly. "I like that a lot, too."

Interviewer: What's your least favorite thing to do in bed?

"Why did I agree to this?" Kanda asked. After they return to their original position, Allen cuddles closer to the samurai. "Because you love me."

"Rather unfortunate."

He grunts as Allen punches his stomach. The younger male says, "Receive blowjobs."

Kanda sighs. "Anything that lacks skin contact."

"He means any sex position where he can't touch me due to distance or the laws of physics," Allen translates.

Interviewer: Why are these your least favorite things to do?

"I'm not a fan of his head between my legs," Allen says.

"Sex is emotional just as much as it is physical," Kanda says.

Interviewer: How many people know about your relationship?

"Finally some normal questions," Kanda muttered. Allen rolled his eyes at his partner. "It's public, though Central doesn't know."

Kanda narrows his eyes. "I thought only Lenalee and the rabbit knew."

"And they told everyone else."

"Great."

Interviewer: Would you get married to your partner if given the option?

Kanda freezes. Allen pauses before he says, "Probably. I love him with all my heart, so I don't see why not."

"I guess," Kanda mumbled. Allen smiled.

Interviewer: Last question, do you have any closing comments?

Allen shook his head. "Nope."

Kanda gave his partner a kiss on the cheek, probably his version of a closing comment.