Duo Dates

A/N: Decided to make another tie-in story to Lojky's SAO: Q&A. Now you remember I dared to Asuna and AB Asuna to swap Kiritos, right?

"Hello, everybody! I'm Bart Valeska! And we are going to see how both Kiritos are doing on their dates!" I sit at my desk. "Now let's go to Ken and Yoshi, our camera men following them as the date progresses on."

We see the screen go to the camera showing AB Kirito on his date with Asuna.

"So, you have a...interesting point of view on life." Asuna says.

"Yeah, so what?" AB Kirito snaps.

"Nothing! I was just saying. Geez!"

"Look, we both don't wanna be here. We're just here cause that Ass(bleep) made us do this!"

"For once, I agree! First he dates my best friend! Then she spends the night his place! And now he's got us on a date! I swear, the things I'd do to that kid!"

The camera continues to film them. Until AB Kirito gets up to use the restroom. Then he spots out the crew.

"Hey! What the hell? Other Asuna! They're filming us!"

"WHAT?!"

"That's it! This is f(bleep)ed up! Let's kill these asses!"

"I'll take the boom mic guy, you take the camera guy!"

The crew panics.

"Ah, man! Yoshi, run!"

It then shows the camera showing the Yoshi running away as Ken follows. But they aren't lucky enough.

"Not so fast! F(bleep)er!"

AB Kirito tackles the camera guy as Yoshi continues to run with Asuna hot on his heels.

"No! Please! I got two kids!"

AB Kirito picks up the camera and begins beating Ken with it.

"You're gonna f(bleep)ing die! Assh-"

(Technical difficulties. Hang in there baby!) (With picture of chibi Silicia hanging from power line)

"Uuuuh...we'll have to check...back on them." My cellphone rings. "Excuse me a second."

I turn away.

"Yeah? Rika! Hey! I'm checking on the dates right now... Yeah, I had a great time last night too... Yeah... I don't wear your socks are. I was facing the other way, remember?...Oh! You found them!...Ok... Yeah... Ok, I got to go. Middle of something... Ok, bye. We'll meet up after this... I love you too!"

I turn around.

"OK! Let's see how Kirito and AB Asuna are doing!"

We cut to the camera showing Kirito and AB Asuna sitting in a different restaurant.

"So, does your Asuna put out?"

Kirito blushes and stutters.

"Uh-ah-uh! We-we didn't do anything! Why doesn't anyone believe that?"

"Oh, sure, you didn't! Come on! Stop beating around the bush! And beat down my b-"

"Excuse me?!"

"Come on! You know you want it."

AB Asuna grabs Kirito and pulls him onto the table and she straddles him.

"Whoa! Wait! I don't wanna-" Kirito resists, but to no avail.

She pins him down and tries to take his shirt off. Akira, the camera guy, tells Deacon, the boom operator.

"Whoa! Dude I think she's gonna rape him!"

"Do we...call the police or something? I mean we should help."

Kirito struggles to free himself. He then notices the crew.

"Hey, are you filming us?" Kirito called out to them. "Help me!"

"WHAT?! WHO THE (bleep) ARE YOU?!"

"Oh snap!"

"I'M GONNA F(bleep)ING KILL YOU GUYS!"

She hops of Kirito and runs towards them. The crew begins to run back to their van. Akira turns around to get a shot.

"Akira! Put the camera down and run!"

Akira turns around and runs for the door. He opens it but AB Asuna slams him into the van. The camera falls the ground. We hear her slamming the door in his head.

"Yeah! YOU LIKE THAT! GET A SHOT OF THIS!"

"Akira!"

"Oh! Now it's your turn!"

We hear her run after the boom operator. We hear a struggle, cries for mercy, and a beatin noise. Good thing it's not on camera.

"I'M GONNA STICK THIS BOOM MIC RIGHT UP YOUR A-"

(Technical difficulties. Hang in there baby!) (With previous picture)

"Wow!" I look to the camera. "I wasn't expecting things to go that way."

I rub the back of my neck.

"Well, I guess that's it then. So, uh, see ya and-"

The sound of a loud crash is heard then AB Kirito yelling.

"KNOCK! KNOCK!"

"Oh, (bleep)!"

(Technical difficulties. Hang in there baby!) (With same picture)

A/N: I thought this would be fun to write. Thanks for reading! Be sure to check out SAO: Q&A by Lojky. And check out my SAO/Freddy crossover, SAO: Five Nights At Freddy's Online. See ya!