AN: Hi guys. I'm back after along time away.

This isn't anything special or fancy - just something I thought off when listening to a song and rping on a website (http:// (no spaces) maskedera(dot)proboards(dot)com - chek it out, pretty awesome. Some friends of mine own it)

So, disclaimer - I do not own these characters - the awesome JKR does. I also do not own the lyrics; Jennifer Love Hewitt does. I do however own this story idea; it tis all mine :)

dont forget to review, flames welcome - thats how i learn to improve.

love to you all.

xx ABM

Diary of Miss Lily Evans; Gryffindor Prefect, Hogwarts Head Girl.

Dear Diary...

Every girl thinks I'm so lucky
Just to be with you
I know that you agree with them
But here comes the other shoe

Ugh! I never should have agreed to date James. I can't get any peace and quiet anymore. Everyone (especially the girls) seem to just keep coming up and telling me how amazing Potter is, how I'm really luck to be with him and that they wish they were in my position. And the worse thing is? James AGREE'S with them! He keeps saying how he could have any one of those girls, and that's he's picked me and I should be eternally blessed to have him in my life... Well you know what? I don't see what's so great about him!

You don't know what you've got
Since you took a gamble on me

I mean, almost our whole time at Hogwarts he's been chasing after me. I think it started back in first year when him and his idiotic shadow Sirius Black pranked me. And do you know what? I scolded him. Yep me this tiny little redheaded first year SCOLDED James Potter and Sirius Black for pranking me. Well since then Black's had it in for me to make my life as much of a hell as possible... But James? He got a crush. He didn't even know me and yet he took this massive gamble to start chasing after me. He doesn't even know how good I am, not really; I'm just another pretty face to him.

So stop messing 'round like you own this town
'Cause you've won the lottery

Quite honestly, I'd love it if he just stopped all this pranking and 'Marauder' nonsense. I think under that macho-man exterior would be a half decent guy... But he got lucky. He treats being a Maruader like a prize – But I don't ever remember any competition; he was just in the right spot and the right time meeting the wrong people ... How is that any kind of lottery? It could have been me; in an upside down twisted world.

Don't think I'm playin' around
'Cause we're having too much fun to see
I'm not trying to bark, but our future's dark
You know what I mean

I dunno ... Sometime I wonder if I'm too harsh on Potter. I mean he does make me laugh, and we do have a lot of fun... But then I remember that this isn't my long term plan. James is my now plan; he's not my Mr Right ... he's my Mr Right-Now. We're not going to last much longer than high school...

Dear Diary;

James wrote me today. I found it on my bedside table – I'll have to scold him later for coming into my room; but look at what it says.

Lily,

I'm so tired of making you cry
I think we're all okay and then I wonder why
You get so mad when I'm out on my own
You like it when I'm there when you come home
I just want you and everything that we got
Girl, you know I love ya and I love ya alot
But I need some peace in a world so cold
You gotta know when to rock and not to roll

James

I get so worked up over him sometimes; he can be such a jerk, especially when he goes out on his own to meet up with Black ... I wonder why he can't be more like Remus – more safe, secure and home to meet me at night when I get there; well in the dorm common room at least. He says he loves me, and he doesn't want to make me cry ... If he really loved me he wouldn't make me cry ... would he?

Dear Diary;

Yeah, you're cute and sexy
But that won't take us very far
Everybody's pushin' me to date a big rock star

I don't know what it was, I think someone must have slipped some kind of potion into my pumpkin juice this morning, because James looked so great. His clothes, and his hair, those eyes; he is so sexy. Oh my, I did not just call James Potter sexy! I mean he usually looks cute in his uniform, tie open, shirt untucked ... But him looking as good as he does isn't going to do anything for us, as a couple; especially when everyone's pushing me to date someone else. Petunia wants me to date a rock star – that would be the only way she would accept my magic is if I was famous for it and made alot of money that I gave to her. All the girls at school though – well they don't care who I date, as long as it means James is free and available.

But that don't matter to me
'Cause I'm already a queen
By the way I live and to who I give
And that's enough for me

But then I wonder, whether I should care what they all say; I've never wanted Petunia's acceptance before. My parents love me for who I am and what I am; and so does James. So really – that's all that matters right? Not to mention, perks of Head Girl means scolding Sirius Black as much as I want.

So stop messing 'round with my heart
'Cause you know I love ya alot
But something's gotta change
This can't stay the same
I've given all I've got

I just wish sometimes dear diary, that he would stop all his jokes and pranks. He says he cares, but then goes and does something incredibly stupid that makes me think other wise. I love him for merlins sake and yet he doesn't seem to care ... Oh my. Did I just admit I love James Potter? Well that's it. I'm fed up, done and over – I can't do anything more to show him I love him, he has to change. I'm going to go tell him we're over, we can't stay the same.

Dear Dairy,

You know how I said that I was going to tell James that we were over? Well I got another letter from him...

Dearest Lily,

Girl, I'd never tell you a lie
I'm not a super hero, I'm just a regular guy
I think it's time that we have some fun
Can't always be worrying 'bout what I haven't done
I just want you and everything that we got
Girl, you know I love ya and I love ya alot
But I need some peace in a world so cold
You gotta know when to rock and not to roll

James

I wonder if Remus helped him write this, there is no way James could do it on his own ... Remus was always the sensitive Marauder. But never the less – He's, well he's changing Diary, don't you think? He's admitting he's no more fancy than the rest of us – something I'm sure Sirius would murder him for saying if he ever found out. He says he want's some time to prank and joking in our 'boring Hogwarts life' ... I suppose I can give him that since he's changing for me and everything. But oh diary, he loves me.

Baby, I'm not saying it's not you I wanna hold
Sometimes when it comes to you I'm so emotional
But if you want me to love you every night
You've gotta learn what it will take to make this
Girl feel right

Well this is it diary, I'm going to go tell him, I'm going to do what I do best and teach and learn. I'm going to teach him how to be the James I need, and still the Prongs the boys expect him to be; but more than that I'm going to learn how to do it myself, learn how to have more fun and not be so serious all the time... maybe by doing more things, more fun things with James, I'll stop being so confused about him, about us...

Love Lily Evans... no Lily Potter... no Mrs James Potter