A/N - I'm not sure whether or not I like this fic. So tell me what you think and if you think I should continue it.

Enjoy x

Truth In Sincerity

Chapter 1 – Summer

Ron

I always thought we had a friendship that was unbreakable, that the connection we built together would last longer than the four years we've known each other. But he lied to me, how could that be so easily forgotten. Hermione still talks to him as if he hadn't done anything wrong, but deep down every one knows that he hadn't exactly done anything wrong. It was a plot to make him feel alone, to have his friends abandon him with the thought that he was a liar and a traitor. A plot that I was too easily tempted to believe. But every one has reasons for doing stupid things. At first it was because I thought Harry had lied to me, he had put his name in the goblet of fire and hadn't told his best friend, that was my reason that I made every one believe for my new found hatred of my best friend. But the truth is some thing more complex for even Hermione to understand. But its simple to me, the reason I hate him, is because I love him.

I am in love with my male best friend, I realised last year. When Sirius, or should I say Padfoot dragged me into the weeping willow and I thought to myself I'd never see Harry again. Yes it hit me that I could end up not seeing any one ever again, my family, Hermione but all my mind could concentrate on was Harry. As he bit into my leg the pain was over whelming, and I was convinced I was going to die of the pain and not to mention the blood that was gushing out of my pale leg, but all I could think of was not seeing Harry again. Not seeing his shaggy hair every morning when he woke up, not laughing at the way he would stab at his bed side table to look for his glasses, and to never be able to see his smile, I knew them thoughts were enough to kill me. When I realised I was in love with Harry was when he came running into the room, Hermione by his side, he had come to rescue me. My hero.

I was fourteen when I realised I was gay, and it confused me a lot. Because I wouldn't look at any boys in the school, I wouldn't even look at Harry in a perverted way, I looked at him as if he was my best friend, I thought maybe the love I had for him was pure friendship, and my pain stated mind was making me believe it was something else. But now at age fifteen and my hormones running wild with imagination, I can't take my eyes of him. I even stare at other boys, though not in the way that I stare at Harry. I had my first wet dream about my best friend, I woke up in a perfect daze as if the dream wasn't a dream. Of course I cleaned myself and my bed up before he even woke, it wasn't as if we would talk about it, because I wasn't talking to him. Even though I know realised that I missed his friendship so much, and not having him in my life was worse than not having him in my heart the way my new orientation wanted him.

"Honestly Ron, its been two months. Are you seriously not going to talk to him for the rest of your life?" Hermione said as we walked into the common room. I couldn't imagine myself not talking to Harry for the rest of my life, when ever I pictured my future Harry was always a main part. Even if he was just playing the role as my best friend and not my lover. That's when I decided I had to talk to him, I had to beg for his forgiveness, I had to tell him how sorry I was and how much I needed him in my life, with out coming across as desperate and in love. I sighed loudly and walked over to where Harry was sat alone.

"Fancy a game of chess?" I asked and he looked up at me with confused eyes.

"Yeah." He smiled, and there we are friends again. I didn't have to tell him how sorry I was because he already knew, just like I knew he wasn't mad at me.

"Your going to have to do better than that." I laughed as I watched one of my chess pieces swipe his of the board, and he laughed and made another move, which ended the same way.

"Your just too good." He said after the game was over, we were both grinning. We hadn't spoken for two months, and now after one game of chess it was as though nothing had happened. I had Harry back in my life. And I wasn't going to let him escape from it, not now. Not ever.

The summer holiday's came too fast for me. It had been a week since me and Harry had made up, and now I had to watch him leave my life for two more weeks, where he would be spending it being a personal slave for his muggle aunt and uncle who despised his very existence, where as I treasured it. I promised to write him every day, along with Hermione. He was grateful and smiled in thanks, that was all that I needed. One smile and my heart lit up like a Christmas tree. The two weeks seemed to drag on, and after the first three days I was already in a bad mood because I hadn't seen Harry. I stared at photographs of us together, it was a poor substitute for the real thing. I begged and pleaded with mum to let him come earlier, it skipping my mind that if Harry left the protection of the muggle house then he would be in danger. I just needed him here.

Finally after what was the longest two weeks of my life Harry arrived at the Burrow, I waited in the kitchen for him, wondering whether or not he has changed. But when he arrived with dad, he looked the same as I left him. Skinny with shaggy black hair, and green eyes that made my heart feel a thousand times heavier, and a smile that made me want to tell him my dirty little secret.

"Hey Ron!" He smiled at me, and I wanted to pull him into a tight hug to show him just how much i missed him but instead I grinned at him and offered to take his trunk up to my room where he would be staying for the remaining month.

"So how have you been?" I asked as I put his trunk down, he kicked of his trainers and laid on his back on the small camping bed that I had put out for him.

"Bored." He laughed, I couldn't imagine how bored he was, sat in a room the size of a cupboard day in and day out for fourteen days.

"I bet," I laughed, and sat on my own bed, which was its usual mess despite my mothers nagging for me to tidy it up.

"So how has your summer been?" He asked. Horrible with out you here.

"Fine, I haven't done much. Done most of the home work, played Quidditch a bit, and lots of house chores." I sighed and he laughed.

"You've done your home work?" He sounded shocked and I just threw a pillow at him, "Thanks." He chirped and put the pillow under his head, "Nice and soft." He smiled and moved his head around on my pillow, I just laughed seeing him happy made my heart melt.

We played around in my room for a bit, enjoying each others company again by telling stories about our summer or some thing that happened at school, we played chess, I won of course, and then it was lunch time and we were called down stairs.

"So what are you boys going to do for the rest of the summer?" Mum asked and I shrugged as I piled some peas into my mouth. "Don't shrug your head will fall of." My mum smiled and I shrugged again and she frowned and started ranting on about how I should have manners at the dinner table, even though it was lunch. Harry found this funny and I could tell he was trying hard not to laugh. Fred and George are home for the summer, they'll be going into their sixth year at Hogwarts, whilst me and Harry will be in our fifth.

We finish lunch and go out into the garden, mum telling us that we both need more colour to us, although I was keen not to go out in the sun because I go red instead of golden brown like Harry. We sat by the lake, Harry had taken his top of and told me to do the same telling me I wouldn't get any colour with my sweater on. So I took my top of, and it was half way there to one of my summer fantasies, both topless though definitely not making out... I can dream can't I.

I realised over the weeks that passed just how hard it was being Harry's friend, being around him and not being with him hurt physically and mentally, and nothing I could do would ease the pain. I started to make up reasons why I couldn't do some thing with him, though living in the same house proved this to be harder than I originally thought.

"Do you want to play some Quidditch?" Harry asked as we sat in my room doing nothing, although I was in deep thought about whether or not I should tell him.

"I don't feel like it," I said and he nodded, "Why don't you ask Fred and George?"

"It doesn't matter," He said and pulled out a book from his trunk and started to read. I sighed loudly and continued to stare up at my ceiling. I wanted to scream, my body was frustrated in more ways than one. I needed some release, I needed him.

"Ron," Harry said slowly and I looked over at him, he was looking at me deep in concentration. "Is everything okay?"

"Yeah," I lie, as long as he is sleeping in the bed next to mine, nothing would be okay.

"Your avoiding me." No I'm trying to, but its too difficult.

"No I'm not." I say and try to laugh away my nerves.

"Ron, I'm not stupid, can you just tell me what's going on?" He said his voice sounding as serious as I've ever heard him.

"You wouldn't understand." I sighed and looked back up at the ceiling. Harry stood up and walked over to my bed and sat on the edge and stared at me, I could feel my cheeks getting red and my heart beat faster.

"Try me." He said and I looked up at him and took a deep breath.

"I'm in love with you."