Nightmares

Chapter 1

--------------YAMATO----------------

-Why do you always have to be so stubborn?

-Am not stubborn stupid jerk, if you even have got a clue of what you are doing, this wouldn't be happening!!

-Oh yeah, and you are so smart that you could sign the fucking papers and everything would be simpler!!

-Don't get the papers in here! That's your only excuse, the papers, the papers... I should have listened to my mother!

-Sure, the big fat old cow...

-Fuck you son of the bitch!!!

That's all I can hear, everyday, is the same. Takeru lies next to me, holding tightly, trying not to cry. I cover him with the sheets, and then the sound of the door opening with a loudly jolt.

-You will go anywhere, did you hear me?!

Mom takes Takeru off from the bed, he doesn't protest; dad is still shouting.

-Don't you dare to take him out at these hours!!

-Or what?! –Mom said, looking back in challenge while taking her bag and turning the door opened again. I'm standing in there, but no one cares.

-Yamato won't go with you

-He can stay with you

All I can think is about Takeru, she is taking him away from me. And she doesn't want me with her either.

Takeru is crying, and I'm crying too. I don't want him to go. Everybody can go hell, but not him, please... don't.

Mom hurries to the elevator, making a scandal, all the neighbors watching. Dad doesn't follow and I run trying to catch my brother.

Dad stops me.

I can't stop her.

He's gone.

This is the nightmare I've had for a whole week. Every night I woke up in a sudden, breathing fast, sweating. I wonder if I say anything during my sleep. Taichi doesn't know, I've never told him. Actually, I don't want him to know. I don't want him to worry, but he's finding out, I guess.

-Are you ok? It was the nightmare again, huh?

I nod and he kisses me. I hug him tightly as we try to sleep again, but I can't. I'm thinking too much to be true and all those thoughts are running so fast that I get dizzy. Headache again. And aspirins don't have any effect on me anymore. So I scold my self mentally and hug my boyfriend as a pillow. I hope he doesn't start with the psychologist thingy... he has insisted so much...

-What was the nightmare about?

We're having breakfast. I knew he would ask, he always does, but not in the morning. Now I have to say a lie.

-Something stupid, two giant spiders and a big black hole with no ending, the same shit.

-You're lying.

-Yes I am.

He doesn't ask any more. And we finish our breakfast in silence.

----------------------TAICHI----------------------------

I couldn't sleep last night. Actually, I haven't sleep well the whole week. Not with Yamato's nightmares. He's always sobbing and crying and weeping. He thinks I don't know, but I've always know what are the nightmares about. He had had them since we were kids. And it is always the same: Takeru. I wonder if he is as mad as his brother, I don't think so.

Plus, I've been thinking in that fucking contract I had with my team. I really don't want them to cancel it, but clauses are clauses, and I'm breaking one of them: homosexuality. I know they pay very well, but the offer of $9000 a game won't pay my love for my gorgeous boyfriend, not a million bucks.

I'll be poor again I know, Yamato won't. His project is going on perfectly and I think he's going to win. No, this project is not about singing. He's making a research at Lacroix Laboratories about digitally synchronized antigravity, for a space project they're having along with Russians. Who would ever have imagined my blond lover will be a scientist?! I couldn't even believe my self either, but I was tired of the little fucking fan girls he used to have. Not that he doesn't have any anymore. Actually, he is still singing, in a nightclub each Saturday. He's recording a CD with some lyrics, but only for him self, and for me too of course, haha.

I'm tired of thinking. But I never get tired of thinking in him. I realize I'm more and more in love with him each day that passes, but it is not my fault, he's making me too. The way he's always eager to see me at my matches and does his best at cooking dinner each Thursday night for pleasing me. He's so fucking good in bed and loves all kind of little naughty adventures outside the room. So it's not my fault that I feel so stupid about him, so deeply in love... fuck I'm getting hot...

But Yama is tired, and I'm worried. He's always running away from me when I want to take him to the psychologist. He's scared about them, and I can't persuade him about how healthy a single visit can be. Of course after hours of arguing and fighting and playing and fucking, we always forget about the subject, and let my blond one to sleep in peace.

-But not tomorrow Yamato. You will visit Dr. Tsukishiro you want it or not.

-What?! Don't start with the fucking psycho again!!!

-Yamato listen to me, this is the last time I will try and you have to understand. This visit is going to be very simple, is just as weighting your self. You just go and answer some questions and that's all babe.

-Why are you doing this Tai?

-Cause you need it babe, we all need it.

-I'm not insane.

-I know you are not, but it doesn't matter.

-Why don't you go first?

-Oh, well... I'll go if you want me to.

-It's for the nightmares right?

-Yeah, it's for the nightmares, and I'm worried.

He felt silence and looked apprehensively

-My nightmares are none of your business.

I slap him, he looks hurt.

-Tai, why...

-I'm tired of this Yama, and this is the only way I can help you.

-I don't want to go.

-I'll do anything you want me to, if you go.

-You promise?

-I do.

He hesitates and then he's in my arms. I hold him while running my fingers through his hair.

-You will have to go with me.

-I don't know if it is allowed, but I will.

It's almost midnight, and I haven't had dinner. But what the hell, I have Yamato's flesh only for my own.

To be continue...