Sailor Family Feud! MWA HAH!
***
Regis: Hello everybody and welcome to another fun game of Family Feud! … And… What the hell am I doing here?
Jiwwy: Hi, um, that would be because I forgot who the host of Family Feud is.
Regis: That's Richard Dawson, stupid!
Jiwwy: (blinks) … Oooo, yeah! Thanks! Buh-bye! (Regis disappears, Richard Dawson appears in his place)
Richard: (kisses Author)
Jiwwy: Oo, thank you, but we'll save that for the Mamo-chan! Bye! (touches up lip gloss and runs off stage)
Richard: (makes sure she's gone) (sighs happily) Okay! This week is the tournament of The Senshi! And now let's welcome our first team… the Inners! Usagi, Ami, Rei, Makoto, and Minako!
(All five appear in a jumble, giggling like, um, Japanese schoolgirls)
Inners: Hi-yee, Richard!
Richard: Hello, ladies! And now, the Outers! Please give a round of applause to Michiru, Haruka, Setsuna, and Hotaru!
(All four look confused)
Outers: There's only four of us! We need one more!
Voice Offstage: Wait, here I come! (Mamoru runs from offstage) This crazy girl back there fainted when I tried to get past her…
Usagi: Mamo-chan! You aren't playing against me, are you!? (bawls)
Mamoru: It's just a game, Usa-ko! I'll play… WITH… you tonight!
Usagi: (titters, blushes) Ooo, Mamo-chan!
Richard: (kisses all the Inners but Rei, who threatens him with an ofuda, then all the Outers but Mamo-chan) Now! Let's play the Feud! Usagi, Michiru?
(Usagi and Michiru run up to the podium, both very excited)
Richard: Name something you dream about when you have private time!
(Both Michiru and Usagi ring in at the same time) (Thinking she went first, both answer)
Michiru & Usagi: Chocolate-covered Mamo-chan! (Michiru blushes, Mamoru and Haruka sweatdrop, and Usagi's odango flare)
Usagi: WHAT was that, Michi-chan?
Michiru: I'm sorry, Usa-ko!
Usagi: (on verge of bawling again)
Mamoru: Oh, Usa-ko! (runs up and hugs her while the audience looks under their chairs, where earmuffs have been placed for them just for this emergency)
Voice from Rafters: BANZAI! (large-headed pink… thing lands on Usagi)
Usagi: (shrieks) CHIBI-USA!
Chibi-Usa: (politely) As the nice reviewers have pointed out, YOU ARE NOT AN INNER SENSHI! That means I'M PLAYING NOW!
Usagi: (looks at Mamo pathetically, he pretends not to notice her) You aren't an Inner either, Chibi-Usa!!
Chibi-Usa: I'm more of one than YOU!
Usagi: THAT'S NOT TRUE! I'VE BEEN A SENSHI LONGER THAN YOU!
(both sets of odango flare)
Richard: Girls, girls!! Settle down, PLEASE!
Mamoru: (finally intervening) Odango atama, let Chibi-Usa play and stop being so childish!
Usagi: I! WANNA! PLAY!
(Mamo glares)
(All senshi sigh, various sweatdrops as Usagi sulks offstage)
(Chibi-Usa grins triumphantly, then Usagi runs back on)
Usagi: HAH, Chibi-Usa! This weird girl backstage just told me I could be on the Outers' team!
Outers: Oh no!
Mamoru: (quietly walks offstage)
Jiwwy: (running onstage) No, no, not so fast, Mamo-chan! As much as I'd like to have you with me (grins) I want you to be Co-Host!!
Mamoru: Gah… whatever…
All Senshi: ARE WE DONE?
Author: (thinks) (looks pointedly at Mamo, then Usagi, visibly shakes head) Yah, that's it. (goes back backstage)
(All sigh happily)
Richard: Now, we still don't know who had control last time. Judges? ... Okay! Inners' board! Now, can we seeeee.... Chocolate-Covered Mamo-Chan?!
(dingding) (First slot turns over, revealing 86 points) (happy sighing heard backstage)
Richard: NUMBER ONE ANSWER! (applause) And since Chibi-Usa hasn't gone yet, we'll start with her. (walks over and tries to kiss Chibi-Usa on the forehead but she squirms away and kisses Mamo on the lips)
Mamoru: (shrieks) Chibi-Usa! Usa-ko is upset enough already!
(Usagi is seen in corner, glaring furiously, odango somehow managing to turn ChibiChibi red with anger)
Chibi-Usa: Sorry, Mamo-chan. (bats eyelashes kawaii-ly, audience 'awww's)
Richard: Now, Chibi-Usa, what's something you dream about when you are alone?
Chibi-Usa: (thinks) Being Mama!! (Usagi smiles, looking very proud) So I can marry Mamo-chan!!
Mamoru: (blushes again)
Usagi: (jumps over podium and runs toward Chibi-Usa, picks her up and places her in a spanking position)
Richard: Ladies, please! This is a family show!!
Usagi: (blushes) Sorry, Richard...
Richard: Oy... Well... let's see, Being Mama!
(pause as judges confer) (dingding) (last flap turns over, revealing "Being A Lady" for two points)
Richard: Great job, Chibi-Usa! … Really… really great… (sighs sadly) (walks down to Ami) Hello, Ami! (kiss)
Ami: (blushes) Hello, Richard!
Richard: Name something you dream about when you are alone.
Ami: Having an Intelligence Quotient of 596!!
Richard: (Stares) Um. Okay. (Turns to board) Smaaart?
(dingding) ('To be smart in the head place area thing' appears in the third slot for four points) (applause)
Richard: Hello, Rei!
Rei: (glares evilly)
Makoto: Um, sorry about her, she kinda thinks you're evil.
Richard: Um. How sweet! Do you have an answer, Rei?
Rei: ... (glares) ... To...
(Richard idly scratches his nose waiting for her answer)
Rei: AHH! Aku Ryo Tai San!! (leaps up on podium and slaps the post-it note on his forehead)
Richard: AHH! (falls over)
(everyone stares)
Rei: … WHAT?
Ami: (finally) Rei, that wasn't considerate! (runs around podium to help him up)
Minako: Yeah! It wasn't nice, either!
(sweatdrops)
Ami: Rei! You knocked him out!
Author: (grins nefariously) Oh, I guess our co-host will have to host! (Mamo sweatdrops)
***
***
Regis: Hello everybody and welcome to another fun game of Family Feud! … And… What the hell am I doing here?
Jiwwy: Hi, um, that would be because I forgot who the host of Family Feud is.
Regis: That's Richard Dawson, stupid!
Jiwwy: (blinks) … Oooo, yeah! Thanks! Buh-bye! (Regis disappears, Richard Dawson appears in his place)
Richard: (kisses Author)
Jiwwy: Oo, thank you, but we'll save that for the Mamo-chan! Bye! (touches up lip gloss and runs off stage)
Richard: (makes sure she's gone) (sighs happily) Okay! This week is the tournament of The Senshi! And now let's welcome our first team… the Inners! Usagi, Ami, Rei, Makoto, and Minako!
(All five appear in a jumble, giggling like, um, Japanese schoolgirls)
Inners: Hi-yee, Richard!
Richard: Hello, ladies! And now, the Outers! Please give a round of applause to Michiru, Haruka, Setsuna, and Hotaru!
(All four look confused)
Outers: There's only four of us! We need one more!
Voice Offstage: Wait, here I come! (Mamoru runs from offstage) This crazy girl back there fainted when I tried to get past her…
Usagi: Mamo-chan! You aren't playing against me, are you!? (bawls)
Mamoru: It's just a game, Usa-ko! I'll play… WITH… you tonight!
Usagi: (titters, blushes) Ooo, Mamo-chan!
Richard: (kisses all the Inners but Rei, who threatens him with an ofuda, then all the Outers but Mamo-chan) Now! Let's play the Feud! Usagi, Michiru?
(Usagi and Michiru run up to the podium, both very excited)
Richard: Name something you dream about when you have private time!
(Both Michiru and Usagi ring in at the same time) (Thinking she went first, both answer)
Michiru & Usagi: Chocolate-covered Mamo-chan! (Michiru blushes, Mamoru and Haruka sweatdrop, and Usagi's odango flare)
Usagi: WHAT was that, Michi-chan?
Michiru: I'm sorry, Usa-ko!
Usagi: (on verge of bawling again)
Mamoru: Oh, Usa-ko! (runs up and hugs her while the audience looks under their chairs, where earmuffs have been placed for them just for this emergency)
Voice from Rafters: BANZAI! (large-headed pink… thing lands on Usagi)
Usagi: (shrieks) CHIBI-USA!
Chibi-Usa: (politely) As the nice reviewers have pointed out, YOU ARE NOT AN INNER SENSHI! That means I'M PLAYING NOW!
Usagi: (looks at Mamo pathetically, he pretends not to notice her) You aren't an Inner either, Chibi-Usa!!
Chibi-Usa: I'm more of one than YOU!
Usagi: THAT'S NOT TRUE! I'VE BEEN A SENSHI LONGER THAN YOU!
(both sets of odango flare)
Richard: Girls, girls!! Settle down, PLEASE!
Mamoru: (finally intervening) Odango atama, let Chibi-Usa play and stop being so childish!
Usagi: I! WANNA! PLAY!
(Mamo glares)
(All senshi sigh, various sweatdrops as Usagi sulks offstage)
(Chibi-Usa grins triumphantly, then Usagi runs back on)
Usagi: HAH, Chibi-Usa! This weird girl backstage just told me I could be on the Outers' team!
Outers: Oh no!
Mamoru: (quietly walks offstage)
Jiwwy: (running onstage) No, no, not so fast, Mamo-chan! As much as I'd like to have you with me (grins) I want you to be Co-Host!!
Mamoru: Gah… whatever…
All Senshi: ARE WE DONE?
Author: (thinks) (looks pointedly at Mamo, then Usagi, visibly shakes head) Yah, that's it. (goes back backstage)
(All sigh happily)
Richard: Now, we still don't know who had control last time. Judges? ... Okay! Inners' board! Now, can we seeeee.... Chocolate-Covered Mamo-Chan?!
(dingding) (First slot turns over, revealing 86 points) (happy sighing heard backstage)
Richard: NUMBER ONE ANSWER! (applause) And since Chibi-Usa hasn't gone yet, we'll start with her. (walks over and tries to kiss Chibi-Usa on the forehead but she squirms away and kisses Mamo on the lips)
Mamoru: (shrieks) Chibi-Usa! Usa-ko is upset enough already!
(Usagi is seen in corner, glaring furiously, odango somehow managing to turn ChibiChibi red with anger)
Chibi-Usa: Sorry, Mamo-chan. (bats eyelashes kawaii-ly, audience 'awww's)
Richard: Now, Chibi-Usa, what's something you dream about when you are alone?
Chibi-Usa: (thinks) Being Mama!! (Usagi smiles, looking very proud) So I can marry Mamo-chan!!
Mamoru: (blushes again)
Usagi: (jumps over podium and runs toward Chibi-Usa, picks her up and places her in a spanking position)
Richard: Ladies, please! This is a family show!!
Usagi: (blushes) Sorry, Richard...
Richard: Oy... Well... let's see, Being Mama!
(pause as judges confer) (dingding) (last flap turns over, revealing "Being A Lady" for two points)
Richard: Great job, Chibi-Usa! … Really… really great… (sighs sadly) (walks down to Ami) Hello, Ami! (kiss)
Ami: (blushes) Hello, Richard!
Richard: Name something you dream about when you are alone.
Ami: Having an Intelligence Quotient of 596!!
Richard: (Stares) Um. Okay. (Turns to board) Smaaart?
(dingding) ('To be smart in the head place area thing' appears in the third slot for four points) (applause)
Richard: Hello, Rei!
Rei: (glares evilly)
Makoto: Um, sorry about her, she kinda thinks you're evil.
Richard: Um. How sweet! Do you have an answer, Rei?
Rei: ... (glares) ... To...
(Richard idly scratches his nose waiting for her answer)
Rei: AHH! Aku Ryo Tai San!! (leaps up on podium and slaps the post-it note on his forehead)
Richard: AHH! (falls over)
(everyone stares)
Rei: … WHAT?
Ami: (finally) Rei, that wasn't considerate! (runs around podium to help him up)
Minako: Yeah! It wasn't nice, either!
(sweatdrops)
Ami: Rei! You knocked him out!
Author: (grins nefariously) Oh, I guess our co-host will have to host! (Mamo sweatdrops)
***