I'm a barista and you're the obnoxious customer who comes through and orders a venti macchiato while talking on the phone the whole time so I misspell your name in increasingly creative ways every day AU
"Yes, I do in fact understand what you are telling me. I'm not five. Actually, I believe a five year old could understand it. That's not the problem. The problem is that you think that this is the solution." The red head in front of him was saying into his bluetooth, not even so much as looking at Kuroko as his eyes focused on the message he was typing out into his phone at the same time that he was talking.
"Sir, if you're not going to order something I'm going to have to ask you to go to the back of the line." Kuroko said, noticing people starting to get impatient.
"Venti macchiato to go. Order name: Akashi." He said, still not looking up as he stepped out of line. "No, not you. Why would I be asking you for my coffee?" Kuroko heard him saying before he started on the order while asking the next customer what they wanted. If Kuroko wrote 'Acashi' on the cup on purpose, no one had to know but him. And Kise, who was laughing at Kuroko's irritation from his spot at the other register.
It happened again the next day. Apparently Kuroko was good enough at making coffee, despite the misspelling, to earn Akashi's return to the small coffee shop.
"Send my regards, but I'm not going to be able to make it today." A pause. "If you don't think you're competent enough to handle it by yourself I advise you to start looking into different careers." Another pause. "Good. I expect a report on my desk, and for all to have gone well, by the end of the day. Venti macchiato to go for Akashi. Sorry, I can feel the glare the barista is giving me. So, back to the matter at hand . . ."
Kuroko sure hoped Akashi could feel it, because he certainly wasn't looking up to see it. He scrawled Acashe on the cup before getting back to work.
"I'm going to need you to explain to me, in detail, just how you managed to make this mistake." Kuroko wondered if he should be worried that he recognized Akashi's voice when the redhead walked in. Or maybe he just recognized the superior attitude Akashi spoke with. "Because this is going to cost us, and I need to know if I just need to take it out of your pay check or if I need to make sure this is the last pay check you receive from my company."
"Venti macchiato?" Kuroko asked before Akashi even reached the counter. He got an absentminded nod, but it was clear Akashi was focused completely on what he was listening to.
"Is there a reason you keep mutilating this guy's name in particular?" Kise asked as Kuroko wrote Acklashi on Akashi's cup.
"I want to know if he'll notice. I have yet to see him not on the phone. He's also usually being rather rude to the people he's on the phone with." Kuroko answered, passing Kise the drink to deliver to Akashi.
"He could complain to management." Kise warned.
"He'd have to look up long enough to see my name tag to do that." Kuroko said without worry.
The next morning when Akashi came in he just gestured in Kuroko's direction as he talked on the phone. Apparently Kuroko knowing his order the day before meant he didn't have to order anymore. "The solution is that a few people need to be laid off, but I'm still not sure why you're contacting me about this. Finance would be the sector to go to."
This time, however, Akashi actually looked up at Kuroko when he brought him his drink after taking the money. He'd written 'Aodolashee' on the cup this time, and Akashi had glanced up with raised eyebrows.
He looked Kuroko up and down, before locking eyes with him. "Are you illiterate, or is this just something you find amusing?" He asked. "No, not you. I'm talking to" Akashi glanced at Kuroko's name tag. "Kuroko Tetsuya." He said into his phone before giving Kuroko an expectant look, apparently planning on actually receiving an answer to his question.
Kuroko just shrugged.
"I see. It's a good thing you're pretty or I'd have to talk to your boss, Tetsuya." And then Akashi was walking out with his drink, continuing on with his conversation on the phone.
The next day Akashi wasn't on the phone. He walked in and placed a piece of paper in front of Kuroko. It contained his name and phone number. "I'll make an effort to find time to answer your call if you'll make the effort to spell my name correctly today." Akashi informed him.
Kuroko considered acting indignant and saying that Akashi shouldn't just assume that Kuroko wanted to call him. Instead, he spelled Akashi's name correctly.
I'm a busy businessperson and my barista keeps misspelling my name in increasingly disrespectful ways, honestly, who does this person think they are AU
The first time it happened Akashi only felt mild irritation at the misspelling. It was close enough that he figured it was a mistake. An annoying one, but one that he couldn't really complain to anyone about.
The second time he considered the idea that the barista was fucking with him. He could practically feel their glare without looking up, and the spelling only got worse.
He would have stuck around to question just how they planned to continue in their job if they went out of their way to bother the people paying them, but he did have to get going. Work started in two hours, which meant that everyone wanted to talk to him right then, of course.
The third time it was just getting ridiculous. No one could even pretend to get Acklashi out of Akashi. He had things to do though. He couldn't be bothered. He decided that he next morning if the problem persisted he would report the worker.
Well, that was the idea anyway. After all, Aodolashee was grounds for reporting someone. That is, until he actually looked up at the barista who had been destroying his name. He was cute.
When he questioned the reason for the spelling monstrosities hat had been appearing on his coffee, he was a bit surprised to only get a shrug in response. People were never so disrespectful to him. He decided to let it slide because of those big blue eyes, and said something to that effect to Kuroko. He enjoyed the way Kuroko's first name rolled off his tongue.
The next day, he decided to give Kuroko his personal phone number. He smirked a little when his name was written properly. He was looking forward to speaking with his new favorite barista.