This is a very short drabble/ficlet that I wrote while on holiday. It was actually written for my sister, who was very kind and read every single thing I wrote while we were away. When I originally asked what she wanted me to write, she said "Tasuki/Tamahome" ( . ) I went "I CAN DO THAT " and she immediately changed her mind. Funny that.
I also didn't mean for this to become all angsty but it came out that way. I quite like it, but I feel a bit bad for...taking the mean parts of Nuriko so far. But he's mean and bitchy and that's why I love him!
He will never know whether to refer to Nuriko as a 'she' or a 'he', but he would tend to go with 'she', because he likes to go with the majority of what he sees. But then he knows that Hotohori uses 'he', perhaps in a backwards attempt at stopping himself from feeling attracted to the cross dresser.
It's hard not to be attracted to Nuriko. As a woman she's beautiful. She has mastered grace and elegance in a way that most women could only dream of: her hands can soothe, while her eyes cool. Men would be falling at her feet if she hadn't come to the Inner Sanctum. Everything about her screams excellence and when those lips pout he feels himself sinking.
Yet as a man, he is the same yet completely the opposite. His smile is disarming and lovely; he becomes charming, his manner and effeminate nature to his advantage. He's surprised Miaka doesn't fall over herself trying to get near to him. (Honestly, he thinks, what kind of girl falls in love with the first guy she meets?) But then he may be a bit biased.
Because he knows that that disarming smile can become dangerous; those eyes can flash wickedly; that soft body a weapon; those pale, long-fingered hands the method of a thousand tortures. And he knows then that Hotohori is a fool.
Hotohori could have all of this. He could know what it is like to kiss those lips, taste that skin, know that body, and he chooses not to, simply because of some form of love for a girl who loves someone else. He could be the jealousy of the world. He has no doubt that Nuriko would drop him straight away if Hotohori decided that, actually, he would like to screw the beautiful, perfectly willing young man from down the hall.
So he takes what he can for now, bits and pieces that cause him to drift a little further, fall that little bit more in love. And he has fallen hard, so he knows it's going to hurt when the inevitable happens, when he's dumped aside, like an unwanted puppy at the side of the road. That's what he is to Nuriko – something that's fun to have around, that will follow her, almost love struck, something to train in the ways that he wants, and something to get rid of when something better comes along.
But for now he's perfectly willing to lie there, as he falls a little more, as he is wanted but not loved. He is perfectly willing to lie there as Nuriko tortures him into oblivion. He will do it – unloved and hurting – because there is nothing he wants more.