A/N: This is about something I realized with another friend, that all the male YGO characters wear really really tight leather pants. And it's not that I'm complaining, oh no! I'm just saying, isn't it a struggle to do that everyday? Thus here is The Lord of the Pants- Seto Kaiba's crotch-ogling story. Seto's terribly out of character I think. Was going to be funny but now is going to be mixed lol. Writing this story for a few laughs cause I can't do much of anything else, I hyper-extended my knee. =(

Disclaimer: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh!, Kazuki Takahashi does. And the song goes to Coheed and Cambria, "A Favor House Atlantic"

Seto woke up from his sleep, again plagued with that same recurring dream. He was in the forest running from a huge stampede of cattle. Unfortunately, he was naked during all this, with the herd of angry cows following him. They shouted "Murderer...murderer!" over again with their satanic moos. This time they had chased him over a cliff.

"Dammit," he muttered as he dazily got up and went into his bathroom, which was more like a hidden sanctuary. The floors were marble, with an in-ground Jacuzzi and a glass-walled shower that could easily fit five. He smirked walking past it, shaking his head with slight embarrassment. He said to no one nearly inaudibly,

"Damn you, Ryou."

He spent all of seven minutes fixing up for school, using ungodly amounts of hair gel to keep it in that one shape all day. After spending the last three minutes in front of the mirror flexing in his pink bunny boxers, he traipsed his way back to his room. He made his face cold as stone walking into the room, making sure none of the maids were there.

Once he was satisfied that he was alone, he turned on his cd player, blasting "A Favor House Atlantic" at maximum volume. Using the TV clicker as a microphone he sung out the lyrics hardcore.

"Good eye, sniper! I shoot, you run!" he sang, motioning along to the words as he moved over to his closet, opening the door, revealing what seemed as a walk-in leather store. He flicked through the hangers, and eventually picked out a new pair of black leather pants with silver touches.

He grabbed the pair off the rack and ran back out to his room, attempting to get into the devilish material. With one foot stuck he sang through gritted teeth, "Run quick, they're behind us,...Bye bye beautiful!"

He wrestled trying all his might to squeeze into the pants, jumping around the room, falling flat on his back. After about ten minutes he managed to dance his way into them, shouting out victoriously as he zipped up the fly. He turned to face the doorway, seeing Mokuba standing shocked in the doorway, biting his lip out of fear.

Seto just looked at him straight in the eyes asking, with the appropriate flattering pose,

"Does this make my ass look big?"

Mokuba cried himself to sleep in a faraway corner of Kaiba mansion that night.

He watched as his little brother just ran away and shrugged it off, putting on his shirt, remembering to spray the collar with starch so that would stay up as well. He slipped on his billowing cover to complete the outfit, but making sure he didn't button it up all the way to show off his muscular man-cleavage.

Keeping a straight face, which was funny in itself, because he wasn't, he looked in the full-length mirror in his room, striking several intimidating poses. After flashing from Elvis to Bill Clinton to Justin Timberlake (A/N: I know they're not in America.) , he was finished and ready for school, the lyrics to the song still pounding in his mind.

He hummed softly while not expressing any emotion as he stepped into his limo, popping the cd into the stereo system, again rocking out to the lyrics behind tainted windows and steel walls.

Good eye, sniper. I shoot, you run.

The words you scribbled on the walls

The loss of friends you didn't have

I called you and the time is right

Are you in or are you out?

As he reached the school, he turned the music down, straightened out his tight pants and squeakily ambled into the classroom. Good thing everyone was talking so that no one could possibly hear the material rubbing against each other, creating a faint but paining sound.

Propping a book on his desk, he began to read, watching the rest of the class file in, noticing Ryou's gentle, weary smile as he sat down next to him. Seto had to force every spare bit of energy into not grinning back, telling himself his knees shouldn't be weakening or his breath quickening like this. The song pleaded in his mind, "Face step, step down, bye bye beautiful,"

Today's drawling lesson was polynomials. Between hearing the song in his head and having Ryou next to him, needless to say he didn't pay attention. Especially the way Ryou kept nibbling on the end of his pencil with that dazed, innocent look on his face.

"Stop it, you're loosing it. Cool yourself down, he's just another person,"

Ryou ran a confused hand through his hair, working hard to figure out the problem, playing with the utensil in his palm. Kaiba bit his lip, choking down his breath. The pale boy now began to suck and bite the eraser, lost in thought. All his concentration poured out into this one math question. The CEO crossed his legs, inhaling deeply.

"This is not the time nor place, stop it right now! Think about..uh...Yugi or something, no no that doesn't help! Think about his grandpa. Ew. Yeah, that's mildly better."

After a few seconds, Ryou's hand shot up in triumph. As he was complemented on answering the question correctly his smile shone through. At that moment something in Kaiba melted away and he stopped fighting it. He covered his mouth with his hand suppressing a quiet smile of his own. He drifted away, thinking about the pale boy's soft lips and frail body. A dragged out squeak of leather was heard among the silent class.

"Excuse me, Kaiba-kun, I didn't realize polynomials were this exciting for you," the teacher smugly commented. Most of the girls pondered in confusion as the guys tried their hardest not to laugh. Ryou didn't look at him, but flashed a rare smirk as he continued to stare at his desk.

Seto's face went white, even whiter than Ryou's, for a few moments before he quickly asked to be excused and ran rather composedly out the door.

A/N: Yeah that's it for now but the next chapter shall be posted soon since I've got nothing better to do! More leather goodies to come! Please call 1-800-LEAVE REVIEW and tell me how I'm writing! XD