I had managed to fall in love with Georg, after knowing him for most of my life. I had never felt this way in my entire in life. I hadn't even felt this way about my first husband. Here I was with Georg, and he made me feel so wonderful, yet I was afraid I was going to lose him.
We made a perfect couple on paper. We both came from high class, and had money. If we were to get together and marry nothing weird would be thought of it, but it wasn't just that Georg made sense on paper. He made me so happy all the time! I longed for our silent moments alone, or the times when we would share frivolous smiles and giggles. He made me long for the sun to come up, and to start the day.
I never thought I would feel safe and comfortable around a person as much as I did when I was with Georg. His children were wonderful little Gretl made me giggle with how angelic a child could be. Marta showed me I needed to open up and not to hid like she used to from her father. Brigitta taught me how to notice small exciting things about everyone. Kurt taught me to see the good in people. Louisa taught me how to joke around and have fun. Friedrich taught me you need people to be there for you to look up to, and the way he looked up to Georg was so sweet. Liesl, well Liesl reminded me of the importance of growing up.
I felt like I was ready to take on any challenge with Georg, and if I were to lose, he'd be there to comfort me. I had never wanted to be a mother, but with his kids I felt the need to make sure they were loved and protected from any danger.
The only problem I had was their governess Maria. Something about this girl drove me crazy every time she was around. I felt like we were always competing for some reason.
I hated the way my stomach knotted when she was around. I don't know why though…she seemed like a nice person. The kids adored her, and Georg seemed to get along fine with her. I tried desperately to see the good in her like Kurt had taught me. It was just hard!
Was I afraid Georg liked her? I don't know they barely talked. Was I afraid the kids would rather have her be the one their father proposed to…if he proposed? I guess that was a possibility.
Max, who was my best friend, told me I was crazy! I fit right in here, and was just reading too much into this girl. I just didn't know I loved this family….but I guess when Maria was around I always felt I came second. At least to the children anyways!
I didn't want him to think anything bad about me…especially that I was just a silly jealous girl. I loved him and didn't want him to think badly of me. I just couldn't help it Maria was different then how he acted towards his housekeeper or even all the girls he met while he visited me in Vienna.
I loved Georg, but really what is love? Is it a feeling? Or something that just looks like a fine match on paper?