Disclaimer: Nope, never owned Kingdom Hearts but it's probably a good thing I don't, kukuku.
Again, this is a straight up parody.
Story re-wrote as of 2-12-2014
We will start our story off by Luxord being seen taking in the mail; "Oye, what's this? Seems we have some fan mail."
Larxene, who was sitting on the couch reading a magazine, looks up with a quirked brow. "What the fuck, when did we get a mail box? The Castle is floating in mid-air..."
Walking by Mansex snatches the mail from Luxord's hand as he went. "I can't keep it floating all the time."
Larxene gives a dull stare followed by a blink. Blink. Blink. "The hell?"
"Right. Anyways," Luxord said slowly, watching Xemnas walk off before he continued. "It's a question..."
Running down the hall from the depths unknown, Demyx pops up out of no where. "OH! What's it say?"
Larxene nearly jumps out of her seat, dropping the magazine she had previously been reading. "Where the hell did you come from?"
With a cocky brow raise, Demyx leans in to smirk at her question, whispering his retort. "Well you see, when two people love each other, they-"
Larxene cuts Demyx off mid-sentence, waving her hands around frantically. "Okay, I don't need to have the talk from someone who has probably never had sex before in his entire existence."
Hearing this, Luxord stifles a cough before walking away after Xemnas, trying to whistle.
Seeing him turn to walk off, the blonde's eye started to tick; anger increasing. "He knows something," jumps up to follow him out of the room.
"Wait for me! I want to know what the question is," Demyx wailed, chasing after them.
Zexion, who was walking down the hallway in the opposite direction reading his book, paused to look up momentarily. "Hn? What is all this about?"
Jumping up and down with too much excitement, Demyx screams, "We have a question from our fans!"
Raising a brow, Zexion stares at Demyx from behind his bangs emotionlessly before nodding once. "I see."
Growing tired of the water nymph following him around, Luxord sighs deeply before giving in. "If we tell you, will you go away?"
"Who me?" Demyx asked pointing to himself.
Stunned by his ignorance, Luxord smacks his forehead with his left palm. "It asks, who is your favorite band or singer?"
Hearing the question, Demyx squeals and yells, "I like Pat Benatar!"
He screamed so loudly that it echoes off the walls I might add...
Larxene took a step back, wiggling her picky against her ear to fix the eardrum he almost busted before speaking through clenched teeth. "Who the fuck is that? T'ch, you should listen to something more awesome like me. Bleeding Through would eat this Pat'er person for breakfast."
Remains still, and unnervingly quiet, Zexion continued to stare at the others with boredom before his body shivers to Demyx.
Demyx, who had shrunk himself down to chibi dance, is now sitting on Zexion's shoulder with the biggest cheesy grin on his face.
"If you wish to continue on with your pathetic existence, you will desist and remove yourself from me."
Giving a big anime sweat drop, the blonde moved to hide under Zexion's hair. "Hehehe, I'm not leaving until you answer the question."
With a small sigh, the blue haired male shut his book with a loud thud, then used his index finger to flick Demyx off.
"It's Senses Fail... now disperse."
Being flicked off his shoulder, Demyx flies through the air, landing on Luxord.
Looking at Demyx through his fingers, he waited for the dork to speak.
"What's your favorite band?!" Gets all excited, dancing around on his shoulder now.
"Breaking Benjamin, now go bug someone else..."
Hanging his head with a big pout, he spots Mansex then takes off running to his side.
"And joo?"
Xemnas gives a dull stare, lost to what was happening. "Did you just call me a Jew?"
Eyes growing wide to the question, Demyx leans closer. "What's a Jew?"
The elder male exhales all dramatic like, shaking his head to Demyx's stupidity. "Never mind."
Keeps staring at him until he answers, leaning closer and closer during each passing minute.
"Marilyn Manson," he spat out through clenched teeth, Demyx so close that their cheeks were smooshed together.
"What the fuck?!" Larxene screamed, stopping in her stride as she was about to leave.
Xemnas jerked his head around to glare at her, daring the woman to say something else on the matter. Knowing what is best for her, she turns and walks off as Demyx spots his next prey.
"Hey Axel, whose your favorite band?"
Axel, who was trying to walk by unnoticed, sweat dropped but quickly turned it into a cocky little smirk as he rubbed the back of his head. "Shania Twain."
Stifles a laugh, Luxord turns to follow Larxene out of the hall. Demyx shrugs since he obviously had no idea who that was, sees Saix walking by and glomps him. His ADHD, it's a real problem.
"Hey Cupcake! What's your favorite band?" Gives the biggest grin you have ever seen.
Saix thinks for a moment, before quietly replying, "Robert Pattinson."
"So that's why you have all those posters of him in your room!" Demyx praised, throwing a fist into the air.
Axel's smirk turns into a sinister grin, answering before Saix had the chance to reply. "Nope, all those posters in his room are because he's a flaming homosexual with a big lesbian crush on Rob."
"I don't wanna hear it, since your head is always is up Roxas's ass," Saix growled out, flames burning behind his eyes.
Covering his virgin ears, Demyx runs off screaming rape.
Roxas stops dead in his tracks when he heard what Saix said. "You read my diary, didn't you?"
"You have a diary?"
Emopes, "n-no!"
Demyx calls from down the hall, his voice echoing off the walls even more now. "Rooooooooooooooooooxas! Roxy, whose your favorite band or singer?!"
"Ugh! Why does the world hate me?! If you must know, it's Jesse McCartney."
Everyone stops to stare at Number XIII, trying to understand how that would work.
Axel leaned in, trying to whisper to his friend. "Uh, Roxas, how-"
"He's got the voice of an angel, I'm telling you."
Hearing this, Axel's face looses all its color, his hand shooting up to grasp his non-existent heart as if it was about to break apart. "I thought I was your angel," he asked through tears.
"Axel, are you kidding? Isn't Jesse McCartney the guy who voice acts for... never mind. That's too weird; even for me," Saix said running fingers through his long blue hair.
Spotting Marluxia, Demyx runs over to his side now. "Mary. What's your favorite band?!"
"Cascada..."
"Is that techno? Is that why you always look like you're having a seizure when I walk by your room and see you dancing? Dance Mary Dance!"
Marluxia's eyes nearly fell out of his head from how wide they grew. "You spied on me?!"
"It's your fault for leaving the door wide open! Plus, it's not like you haven't spied on Demyx in the shower before. I've seen you do it. Countless times," Axel retorted, smirking that smug little sexy grin of his.
Mary goes quiet, shrinking as a little rain cloud forming over his head.
"He's done what?!" Demyx looked like he was going to faint from shock. Poor little guy.
"I think I hear Larxene calling," Mary said, running off as fast as he possibly could.
"B-But, I thought everyone loved meeeee," the sitar playing genius whined, throwing a tantrum.
If Axel's smirk grew any larger, it would almost be defying the laws of gravity. "Oh they do. That's why they're always wanting to... play wrestling with you."
"OH! I like wrestling!"
"I'm sure you do," Zexion added before walking off to finish reading his book.
"Why won't Zexy-sama play wrestling with me?!"
Namine who is just now making her first appearance, stops and stares at Demxy for a moment before Zexion calls back to answer him.
"Because I don't play butt-darts!"
The Memory Witch nearly busts out laughing at Demyx's pout, holding her sides from laughing too hard.
"No fair!" He then turns his sights to Namine who caught her breath in the middle of a laugh, coughing from the action. Fearing for her life, she timidly asks, "Y-Yes?"
"She's off-limits, remember? Got that memorized?"
Demyx looks back to Axel, giving a nod before shifts his eyes back on to the blonde.
"Demyx knows! I just wanted to know what her favorite band is!"
Shrinks, she started backing up until she couldn't move anymore; her back pressed up against the nearest wall as far as it would go. "Escape the Fate?"
Her tone was more of a question, like she was unsure of her answer before she took off running down the hall away from the perverts. Demyx watches Namine hurry off before tilting his head curiously.
"Well that was weird. OH! Xaldin, my man! What's your favorite band?"
Xaldin turns to look around at the voice, since he was taller than Demyx he was looking over his head. Seeing that it was someone short, his gaze dropped down, generally lost at who he was. "Who are you again?"
Demyx's mouth dropped open, on the brink of tears. "That's not what you said last night!"
Axel started laughing hysterically, walking off since he couldn't take it anymore. "Ohhh Saix! Seems you have a little competition."
Xaldin narrowed his eyes, trying to grasp the concept of what was going on here. Seriously, he had no idea what was going on. "Willie Nelson I suppose."
Xigbar, who was happily strolling by, choked on his slushie at Xaldin's reply. "That's not music! Now Hannah Montanah is music."
"You kiddin' me?!"
"Yew got sumthin' to say to me?!"
As the two argued, Demyx slipped away after Lexaeus unnoticed. He's a ninja! A ninja nobody. A noninja? Ninjbody? Eh, you get the point.
"Sexy Lexy, whose your favorite band?!"
Lexaeus turns at the mention of his name, merely gives an emotionless stare as he blinks slowly. Debating whether or not it's worth answering, he then holds up a SlipKnot cd without muttering a single word.
"Whose Shhlip... Shipnot... Slipot?"
"So you're the freak who stole my SlipKnot cd!" Larxene fumed, pointing a finger at Lexy.
"Yeah! That's it!" Demyx said finally understanding how to say the band's name.
Amused, Lexaeus vanishes into a portal of darkness right as Larxene sends a lighting bolt after his arse into the doorway. Static and bolts of electricity sizzling out moments later.
"Then what's Vexen's favorite?" Demyx scratched his cheek, trying to figure that one out since Vexen was hardly ever seen walking the halls.
"Ugh. Mozart. That one is easy," Larxene said throwing up two hands in a shoulder shrug. As if he couldn't figure that one out by himself. Then again, he probably wouldn't.
"My favorite singer is Utada Hikaru," Sora added, giving an adorable grin when everyone turned to stare at him dumbfounded.
"How'd you get in here?!" They all asked in unison, watching as Riku and Kairi joined the Keyblader's side.
"The back door was open," Riku used his thumb to point in the direction of the door, those gorgeous green eyes taking a look around the place.
Kairi giggles, covering her mouth to hide her amusement before adding,"mine is Evanescence. What about you, Riku?" She turned to look at him as he yawned.
"Falling in Reverse."
"Why are you here, eating our food?!" Demyx asked pointing at Sora who was munching on a banana. Axel came walking back around the corner just then, his sights set on Larxene as if he just remembered to tell her something.
"Larxene, just for your enjoyment, I have a little something to share with you," pausing when he noticed Sora and his friends, he whipped around and pointed in their direction, "and why are the Keybladers here?!"
Sora, Kairi, and Riku all at once, "here for the food."
Axel blinks, accepting that answer before turning back to the fellow organization member. "Riiiiight, anyways as I was saying. Everyone in the Organization, all but Zexion and Namine, have been with Demyx so he would probably know a lot more about wrestling than you would."
"Hmph. Well I haven't done anything with him," she growled out, walking off in an annoyed huff.
"That's because you're a dyke who is saving herself for Kairi!" He yelled back when she rounded the corner, Kairi nearly hitting the floor as her blue eyes grew to the size of saucers.
"Huh?!"
There was an awkward silence in the room, followed by Sora whispering, "awkwaaaaaaaaaaaaard," before he took another bite of his banana.
Yeah, I also don't own the quote that's from Mean Girls.
No copyright there