Mother is the name of god in the lips and hearts of children. But for little Renesmee it was always her father who was her god.
The Children's Memorial Hospital was awfully silent.
The nurse walked to the reception. Her footsteps echoed through the hall. A stranger might have found the intense bright walls and the silence menacing but to the nurse this was her home. She hummed a showtune off a musical she had rented when her shift had unexpectedly been cancelled. Amid the remnants of old bags of take-out food,packages,unopened letters,a large collection of Polaroid camera's and an unusual high number of photo's. She had sang and danced along with the actors. Now she tried to bring back the happy feeling she had felt upon that night.
But alas,the large task at hand made her to nervous. She wondered what the right way was,if there was any, to convince her boss to give her a day off. She did love her work, she was very passionate about it and it was noticeable. However, a friend had called for her help a few days earlier and the nurse,helpful as always,was happy to oblige. It was just a matter of convincing her sour,stick in the mud,I'm-unhappy-so-I'll-make-you-unhappy-too boss. It really was amazing how one of the nastiest persons of Chicago got to be the boss of a children's memorial hospital. Hey,I know! Let's make miss Frownyface head of staff,I'm sure the kids will love to be frowned and preached upon!
"Oh,well," the nurse thought while she absently twirled a curl "At least I don't have to see her all day. How can anyone stand to be in a mile radius around her for longer then an hour?"
The girl smiled wryly at that thought. God forbid her husband. If she had been religious, she would've prayed for the poor sucker's soul.
"Mina!" a voice called.
The young girl turned around.
"Poppy." she greeted the receptionist.
"A very cute guy is asking for you! He's tall and yummy." Poppy was practically bouncing of the walls.
Any other day, Mina would've made some joke about suitors and wedding invitations but now she just smiled and nodded. Poppy's radiant energy was sometimes to tiring, even for Mina.
"I'm coming, Poppy."
Mina took her time to go to the lobby. Despite her nervous mood, tall and yummy did sound promising. Experience had learned her that by being a bit late she would come off as not desperate and more mysterious. After all, no harm had ever come from a good first impression.
Mina opened the door, took a deep breath, entered and...
Froze.
The 'handsome,tall and cute man' wasn't exactly how she expected him to be. Oh, to an outsider he would've seemed handsome alright. But to her that beautiful face only represented the pain she had so desperately been trying to forget.
She marched straight up to the man.
"What are you doing here?" she hissed. The man didn't seem surprised at all at the hostile tone.
"Can we speak somewhere private?" he asked.
Mina rolled her eyes and some kind of emotion flashed across the man's face for a brief second.
"This way." Mina walked to the cafeteria with loud steps, not looking if the man was following her.
"Renesmee..."
"Don't call me that."
"It was the name your mother gave you."
"My mother is dead and my name is Mina Westenra."
She couldn't help but feel some guilt when she watched the pain in Edward Cullen's face. But then she remembered the reason why she hadn't seen him in a long time and her face turned to stone.
"Why are you here,again?" she questioned while she looked at him, as neutral as she would've watched a stranger.
To her he was a stranger...
"I wanted to see how you're doing. We did have an inflation and I wanted to know if you needed anything." Edward himself didn't seem to believe his own excuse.
"I'm fine."
"So I can see."
"Anything else?"
"I also wanted to talk to you," Edward pinched the bridge of his nose,a habit Mina had inherited. "I drove two days to get here." He explained it as if he was trying to get sympathy from her. He did not succeed, Mina still gazed at him blankly.
"Why?"
"Because it's important that I talk to you about the things that have been torturing me for the past ten years."
"Why?"
"Because it involves you."
"Why?"
"I want to apologize to you."
That surprised her. "Why?"
"Because I have done you wrong,Mina."
Mina swallowed. She would not afford to show emotion. She could not be weak. Emotions like this only led to broken hearts. Edward looked her in the eyes and continued.
"I was too blinded by grief to appreciate the beautiful child that you were, that you are. When your mother died I felt like I was drowning. Every day was a struggle and seemed pointless. It took all my effort not to kill myself. All I saw and felt was pain. And I let the pain come to me in waves. I invited it. In a way, I appreciated it. It ensured me that I could still feel."
For a split second, Mina felt pity for the broken man in front of her. Edward did not notice and went on. "And then there was you,the baby she died for. I blamed you, can you believe it? I hated you." The pity Mina had felt disappeared. "I blamed a baby for being born." For a vampire, Edward seemed strangely fragile. It seemed as if a single word would break him. "I saw you as a killer. But in reality, the reason I hated you was because I saw the killer in myself because of you."
Mina frowned. While she could follow the man's mindset, she still felt the grudge and pain of many years.
"And by mourning the woman I loved, I lost another loved one."
If vampires could cry, Edward would be on the verge of tears now.
"If only I could spin back time."
Mina stared at him;Edward stared back.
"I'm not going to be easy on you,"she finally said "I've spent nights crying because of you." Mina closed her eyes and remembered. "Even as a little girl I knew the consequences of my birth. I blamed myself;everyone said it wasn't my fault but I knew why you avoided me."
Mina felt something wet running down her cheek. Was she crying? She hadn't cried for years.
"So I spent every second of my childhood being the perfect daughter,hoping that you would be able to forgive me. I thought that if I just tried hard enough, one day you would come to me. I wanted to be perfection for you. It took me years to realize that perfection wasn't good enough for you. You were my everything and it broke my heart to see your contempt for me."
Now it was Mina's turn to break;Edward could only watch.
"So when I realized the truth I packed my bags and left."
"Only when you left,I realized what I had lost" Edward responded.
"Too bad."
"Indeed."
She walked him to the exit. Both were quiet. There were no need for words now. They stood on the parking lot and Edward turned
"I can only hope that someday you will be able to forgive me."
"Perhaps I will," Mina admitted, much to her and his surprise. "Maybe one day we'll have a chance at a normal daughter and father relationship. Normal for us, that is. One day, my name may be Renesmee again."
"I'll pray for that day to happen." Edward said with hope in his eyes.
"I hope so too, I really do."
"Goodbye, my daughter." With those words Edward turned and left. She watched his car drive off until it was nothing but a dot on the road.
Mina stood silent for some time. It started to rain. The raindrops were cool on her hot skin. Maybe the rain could wash away her past too, so she could look forward to the future.
She could always hope.
AN: The name Mina Westenra is an aggregation of Mina Harker and Lucy Westenra from Dracula, in case you hadn't noticed already. I guess Renesmee (or Mina as she would rather be called.) has a penchant for vampire novels.