The novelist sat at his desk, pen in hand, scribbling down the last few words of his latest romance novel. His pen stopped on the last period, eyes gazing down upon the words that stared him back in the face. As a wave crashes against the shore, he was hit with a brick of writer's block. The words had just left his tongue, left his pen. There was a bit left to write—not a lot, but there was something. As he thought about his characters and how he should wrap up the story, the events of the past night nagged at his mind.
"Don't touch me! Don't even look at me! I hate you!"
It was abnormally quiet in the house, as Tohru had gone grocery shopping with Yuki, and Kyou was training at the dojo. Shigure never liked silence, he always liked something droning in the background, whether it be the cat and rat's mellowing antics, or even the sound of a pot of stew boiling on the stove, quiet humming releasing from Tohru's lips. He sighed deeply and turned his iPod on with the press of a button, and music began playing from the small stereo it was connected to.
Hello, my beautiful. It seems I just can't stay away. It's been so long that I've felt anything this strong…
He sighed, trying to write the next sentence; hopefully the soft music would de-stifle his creative muse…Oh, that was working wonders, he was already making up words. He sighed deeply, managing to write the word "the" before he set down the pen, removed his glasses, and leaned back, closing his eyes.
That memory just wouldn't leave his mind. He had gone to Akito in a rather chipper mood that morning. Now that the curse was broken, there was just one more thing he had to do…The crisp red tsubaki he had held in his hands, a symbol of his love for the woman, would help him to achieve that goal, however…
"I don't want to see you! Please, just leave me alone! I can't stand you!"
It was too quiet in the house. He pressed a button a few times, and with each click rose the volume. He put his glasses back on and managed to write two more words before grumbling and rubbing his eyes.
He remembered the look on her face. It had changed the minute they had caught glances. But the moment he had opened the door, she had been…embarrassed? He didn't know why, she had been all alone in her room. She had been sitting on the floor, with her back to the door, and she must have been holding something. But when she turned, she hid the item and stared at him.
"Akito, I have something for you…"
"I don't want to see you!"
"But…Akito…"
"Please, just leave me alone!"
He had stepped forward, the tsubaki flower in one hand which he held behind his back, the other reaching for her arm.
"Don't touch me! Don't even look at me! I hate you!"
"Why must you be so testy?"
"Shut up! Don't you get it? I can't stand you! Just go!" She looked at him with tears in her eyes. "I said go!"
He remembered looking into those eyes, those painful, angry eyes…The eyes that could bring him to his knees. He had felt his stomach churning, a tightening sensation gripping his insides, a burning searing through his skin at every moment she looked at him like that. He had crumbled the flower in his hands, and let the red petals slip from between his fingers before he turned around and left, without a single word.
He hated Akito. He hated that she could tug on his heartstrings by just glancing at him. He hated how she toyed with him, how she never let him feel like a man, how she degraded him, twisted him and his emotions…How whenever they made love, it was forced and unpleasant, how whenever he wanted to kiss her she would turn away, how the slightest thing he said or did earned him a smack across the face… He was more cursed than any of the other Jyuunishi. He was cursed with forbidden love. He understood that Hatori had sort of a forbidden love but…he had Mayuko now. Shigure knew that he could never have Akito the way he wanted to. He could never lay with her and run his hands through long tresses of black hair…He could never savor sweet kisses, never wake up and find her huddled against him…
He moved the paper quickly as he snapped the pen in half, a stream of ink splattering along the table and his kimono. Luckily, none got on his manuscript, and he moved it before going to clean up the mess. Sigh… He wished he wouldn't get so angry over her. She really wasn't worth it. She would never love him the way he loved her, he would just have to accept that. Maybe it really was his fault… Maybe… she would be much happier with Kureno.
Suddenly, he heard the door to the outside open. "That must be Tohru and Yuki, back with groceries," he thought wiping his kimono with a rag he had gotten. From his office, he called out, "Welcome back, children! Just go ahead and put the groceries away, I'll be out in a jiffy!"
He tried to sound happy and energetic as usual—he didn't want to project his problems upon the children... He usually didn't project his feelings upon anyone, even Hatori or Ayame. Ayame wouldn't understand on that sort of intellectual level, and though Hatori would, well, Hatori had a good share of his own problems.
Hearing the door to his office open, he, hunched over as he cleaned his kimono, used a hand to wave off the intruder. "I said, I'll be out in a— "
As he had turned around, his chocolate orbs had met the gaze of coal eyes, eyes that could bring him to his knees.
"…A…Akito…"
She looked down at her feet, shifting uncomfortably, her slightly long bangs hanging in her eyes. "I…" she began, her hands trembling as they gripped something the novelist couldn't see. "…Yesterday, I…don't know why…I…"
Shigure took a step towards her, placing his hands around hers, and although she winced, she didn't protest. "Akito," he said, using one hand to gently glide up her arm until it met her neck, chin, then resting against her cheek. "You don't need to apologize."
Akito bit her bottom lip, pushing aside Shigure's fingers before she emptied the contents of her hand into his own. A single red petal slipped between his fingers and landed at his feet.
"I wasn't sure what to… make of this…"
"I didn't think you'd remember," Shigure responded, softly, turning his head away as he let the rest of the petals fall to the tatami mat beneath him. However, he felt a slender hand against his cheek, and turned back to her.
"I remember," she said firmly, yet softly. Her voice was near that of a child. "It… was the best day of my life."
Shigure smiled softly. "Mine too." He put an arm around Akito, surprised she let him keep it there. "…I meant it then, and I mean it now," he added, lowering his head to be nearer to him. "I care about you," he whispered, reciting his words from that warm spring day when they were young, his breath hitting her lips. "More than I care about anyone. And that is the honest and unshakeable truth."
Akito slowly reached up and pulled off his glasses before leaning in to kiss him. And as their lips met, Shigure realized this was the first kiss he could savor, the first time he was able to hold Akito like this, to take in her sweet scent, to taste the sweetness of her lips, like a honeysuckle… He wanted every day to be like this.
He closed his eyes and deepened the kiss, feeling the warm rays of sun filter in through the window. He realized that this was the first warm day of winter, and along with the melting snow he could feel the icy tension between he and Akito melting away until there was nothing left but warmth.
They eventually found themselves on the kotatsu, the back of Akito's head against the wooden surface of the table, her hands gripped to his shoulders, gently pressing against the eight little crescent-shaped scars she had put there in the past. Shigure had one hand against the table to raise him up, the other against the smooth exterior of the raven-haired woman's exposed thigh.
It was the first time they could make love without being rushed by anyone or anything, and as they lay there in sweet ecstasy, the two of them half-covered by Shigure's kimono, his fingers twirling through Akito's short hair, inhaling her scent, listening for the differences in their breathing patterns…he realized that he wanted it to always be like this. And somewhere deep down, he knew that she reserved only this kind of attention for him. He knew that Kureno would never experience anything like this with Akito. Shigure himself didn't know Akito was capable of this. For the first time, she was…a woman. A true woman, in every aspect of the word.
"Shigure…" she began breathily, looking up at him. He gazed into those coal eyes of hers, his hand resting at the base of her neck, his other hand against her pale, exposed back.
"Yes?" he asked, placing a gentle kiss against her forehead before using the hand previously fastened on her neck to move aside her bangs. She blinked for a moment before sliding her hand against his chest, looking at him, licking her lips.
"I love you, Shigure."
He froze, if only for a moment. She had never told him that in his entire life—he understood that some things were hard for her to say, such as an apology. So it was a great deal to him to hear this, and after he relaxed, he smiled back at her, running his thumb along her jaw line.
"I love you too, Akito."
She smiled, a few tears sliding down her cheeks, before she leaned in to kiss him.
After a while, she had gathered her things and headed out, and as Shigure watched her leave, a smile spread across his features before he turned to enter his office again. Grabbing a new pen, he sat down under the kotatsu and pulled out his manuscript. He finally knew how to finish the book.
"The ice in her eyes had melted away, and it was at that moment that the man knew that, despite any argument or aversion that might fall between them to put their relationship in jeopardy, Nana was the woman for him, and no matter what happened to either of them, he would always love her more than anything or anyone else in the world. And that was the honest and unshakeable truth."