After a last sweep for electronic bugs (it was her house but you could never be too careful when it came to Li), Diane Bennett took her seat.
"This emergency meeting of the Shadow School Board is now in session."
The five of them sat round the table: Claire Defoe, an unusually intense expression on her face; DeMartino and the overweight & moustached Coach Gibson, both stealing suspicious glances at each other; Jasper Ewing, the short and pudgy black Maths teacher, managing to blend into the background. (Bennett couldn't remember seeing him in school at all this week, but he must've been around)
For years, this secret group had been covertly monitoring the school and its calamities, trying against all odds to keep it running. With only five competent people to form the group, Li as principal, and an abnormally high number of calamities this year, the Shadow School Board had its work cut out for it.
"Summary?" asked Gibson.
"As you all know, Jane Lane has joined the school track team. A new development is that she's leagues better than the rest of the team and single-handedly won Lawndale first place in a track meet yesterday." Bennett steepled her fingers. "The student social order is in total chaos."
"How much damage could be done in just one day?" asked Ewing, his low dirge of a voice passing through the room and glazing eyes.
"…I'm sorry, Jasper, I didn't catch that," said Defoe, looking a bit embarrassed.
"Can there really be that much damage in just one day?" asked Gibson, cutting in.
"The track team doesn't have cheerleaders, and this sort of victory is beyond what the football team can do-"
DeMartino fixed Gibson with a scowl, silencing any protest.
"-so the cheerleaders are starting to get worried already. If track becomes more important than football, their social standing is sunk. The Fashion Club believe track is a 'loser' activity for girls, so Jane becoming popular is going to really challenge them: boys might start wanting to date their own 'Jane's' and the club can't compete with that." She shot the table a dark look. "I've got intelligence reports that Sandi was meeting Angie."
"My god."
"Exactly. That sort of team-up would not happen if they weren't scared."
"HALF of my more POPULAR male students spent ALL OF CLASS muttering about the TRACK boys," growled DeMartino. "The FOOTBALL IDIOTS haven't responded yet, but those who gain NOTORITY for their WEALTH OR GROINS are running SCARED that the whole school social scene will be DOMINATED by DUMB JOCKS."
"And we're not sure what effect this is going to have on Jane," said DeFoe quietly. "We also know she's had a fight with Daria – they weren't seen together at all today."
"Ms Morris…" Ewing thought for a second, then stood up and began waving his arms so he'd be noticed. "Ms Morris has been in a smug mood all day and spent an hour in Li's office. She's looking at a greater position of power, and to keep that…"
Bennett nodded. "Yeah, we 'borrowed' some paperwork through an open window: Li's gone and written a letter to certain members of the PTA, talking about 'special' measures being needed to keep Jane on side."
The Board murmured. 'Special measures' meant grade-fixing. It meant fixing their grades over their heads.
"We're looking at a cheerleader-Fashion Club axis that will be using every social warfare tactic it has to bring down the female track team members in a pre-emptive strike; they'll likely turn on each other during or after that conflict, trying to exploit the crisis. The non-jock male students will do the same with male trackers, and at some point the football team will go on the offensive too. Wannabe's like Brooke will start picking sides in the hope of being on the winning team."
"This could go on for MONTHS – and during it, EVERYONE involved will be paying EVEN LESS attention to CLASS!"
"Morris will achieve dominance in the faculty, giving Li a powerful ally and putting most of the rest of us further in the bottom – that'll cost us in any funding battles. We can certainly expect to have our grading overridden."
"Individually, I know Jane well enough to know her schoolwork will suffer," said Defoe, "so we'll be overridden a lot. And if she gets burnt out in the process and wants to quit the team, I think Morris is vicious enough to override us and flunk Jane to force her to stay on."
"And IF the two don't reconcile, there's every change we'll LOSE Daria." DeMartino sounded grimmer than normal. "Our BEST academic achiever, DOWN."
"We need to-" began Ewing.
"We need to consider actions," said Defoe.
"It might resolve itself," said Gibson. "Evan's on the track team and been hanging with Jane – I know Evan, he's pretty arrogant. There's every possibility he'll turn Jane off the track team in, say, two days tops. Maybe less."
"Then Morris goes into blackmail mode." Defoe's lips curled back into a snarl. "If Jane can't get out of that on her own, I'm requesting permission to give her the 'material' we have on Morris."
"I AGREE."
"Thirded," said Gibson.
"If it doesn't resolve itself, to keep order in the short term we need to use grade warfare," said Bennett. "The major troublemakers have wobbly grades in our classes, we go to their parents in a coordinated assault and keep them occupied that way – stop grinning, Anthony."
"We should use the 'material' early on, cripple Morris before she's too entrenched!" yelled Ewing, forcing everyone to hear his voice.
"Whichever one of us does that, however, they'll be watched," said Gibson. "Do we draw straws or do we find someone else who can do it? I know Janet doesn't like Morris."
Bennett's watch beeped.
"We'll discuss this in the second half – meeting adjourned for now, Sick Sad World is on!"
The board cheered and rushed to the lounge.
THE END
(AUTHOR'S NOTE: Ewing is based on the short, fat black male in brown shorts that was in one shot in Lucky Strike. Someone in that crowd had to be the Maths teacher that we never see. You didn't notice that guy, did you? That's how you know he's the Lawndale Maths teacher.)