A/N: Hello my darlings!~ Here you go another ShimaxRin story from le wonderful moi xD On the second note this must be the WORST. FIC. I'VE. EVER. WRITTEN. Ever. It's not even funny. Why did I poooost it here? Well, whatever. By the way, the second part of 'Never meant to be is coming right up' so stay tuned. Also, thank you for Eve-chan for showing me the song Lie to me. Damn it fits that fic so well it's almost creepy O.O Thank you everyone for your support. Enjoy this un-beta'ed piece of shit ;D
I own nothing
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'It's love… Isn't it?'
Yeah, it was definitely love. Not the brotherly one. And it kind of scared him.
Was he… in love with Yukio?
Everytime his brother was around he felt his cheeks flush, everytime Yukio smiled he wanted to smile too, everytime Yukio was sad he felt like crying, everytime Yukio touched him his heart would jump a little and his stomach had constant butterflies in it. What else was it but love?
Rin liked the feeling, but it freaked him out. Sure Yukio was his first love, but he was also his brother and brothers weren't supposed to be like THAT. Yukio did not think of him like THAT and certainly did not want him like THAT. And it frustrated the demon boy. He felt possessive and angered everytime that Shura would come to close to him and act all buddy-buddy. The same went for other girls. Good thing it was a rarety.
The more time passed the more uneasy Rin got. And it got harder living together with Yukio, knowing that his wishes will never come true and just the mere thought made his heart squeeze painfully inside his chest.
Maybe he needed to get over him? Of course he needed, if he did, everything would come back to normal. His Yukio-obsession will disappear completely.
Speaking about obsessions… Rin's eyes focused on Yukio, more like his back. He was working again, a never-ending routine of his. He shifted in his chair slightly, picking up some new papers and continuing to write. Rin sighed deeply trying to control the urge to get up from his laying position go there and run his hands over his fraternal twins tense shoulders, his cheeks flushing over the mere thought. Trying to relax he looked through the window. It has been raining for days now; the sky was constantly gray and gloomy, today was no exception. It looked refreshening.
Maybe a walk was what he needed. If he didn't have to see Yukio, maybe he could think more clearly. With a sigh he got up and started searching for his coat. The sound caught Yukio's attention.
"What are you looking for, Nii-san?" he asked looking over his right shoulder as Rin continued digging through his pile of clothes.
'Nii-san, huh..?' "I was looking for my black jacket. Any ideas where it is?"
With a sigh Yukio got up from the chair. "You should really need to start cleaning up more often, Nii-san… It's here." Yukio gave him the jacket that was around his legs all the time, but he was too occupied with his own thoughts to see. Murmuring a small 'I do clean.' Rin grabbed his jacket and pulled it on. "Where are you going?"
"I'm just going to the store. There's something I want to cook tonight, but I'm missing some of the ingredients." Rin lied quickly, while pulling his shoes on. Yukio did not question it.
"I see… Do you have your wallet with you?"
"Yeah."
"Did you check?"
"Yes, I did. Geez, stop treating me like a child Yukio…" Rin pouted, grabbing his keys and making his way towards the door. "I'll be back shortly."
"Alright."
The door closed behind the demon boy. Yukio sat down in front of the table once again, his eyes focused on the papers beside him.
'He didn't check for his wallet, afterall…'
The wallet was still on the table.
Why did his brother had to frustrate him so…much?
That blush on his own face annoyed him to bits. He wasn't some lovesick teenage girl. Well, he had felt a little lovesick, but only a little.
'Stupid Yukio, damn him—, no damn me for falling for him! Idiot. I should stop thinking so much about him…' Was it because Yukio was the closest person to him through his whole life? Maybe it was because he was his only friend during their childhood days, the only person who did not think of him as a monster. Demon, devil, freak- and all of that stuff other kids used to call him. Even so, Rin did not have the right to fall in love with him. It was sick and wrong, wrong in so many ways. He disgusted himself sometimes—times when he wasn't busy daydreaming about his love-never-meant-to-be.
And he did. A lot. Even in his dreams. Rin was so scared that Yukio could hear him sleep talk [he used to do it a lot while he was little]. Even if his fraternal did hear, he said nothing and Rin liked to think he did not let anything slip that would ruin everything.
'Great… Now I'm thinking depressing things. I wanted to go for a walk to clear my head and now I'm making it worse… Maybe I should head back. I'm all drenched and will probably catch a cold.' Rin thought and turned back. He was surprised to see just how far away he had wandered. 'Yukio's probably worried…'
Then his ears caught something. A sound to his left. The sound quickly turned into a hum, the hum into a song. Someone was singing. And whoever it was made Rin curious, because the song was sad and the person who sang it had a very nice singing voice. Rin stood up on his tiptoes trying to take a look at the person, but the bushes were far too tall for him. There must've been a park of sorts behind them, Rin figured. He couldn't just march in there and startle the person. Maybe he [he was sure it was a he, it was definitely a guys voice] was shy about it and Rin would ruin the singers self confidence, because Rin himself was pretty sure he would not want someone to walk in on him while he was singing to himself and thinking he was all alone. Maybe if he found a small gap of sorts between the bushes so he could take a peek.
Sneaking around the wall of bushes he found the gap he was looking for and crouched down, moving the leaves out of his sight silently. He could hear the person sing more clearly now, but he was still out of his eyesight. That song… Rin really liked it.
[...we're not done are we
Cause I don't need to change this atmosphere we've made if
You can stay one more hour, can you stay one more hour...]
That voice seemed so familiar…
Rin silently cursed the damned bushes for doing their job far too well and tried to make the gap bigger. Just when he was about to succeed his right knee gave out and with a loud yelp he fell to the bushes, awkwardly landing on his face. A startled yell reached his ears and Rin quickly lifted his scratched face from the ground. His eyes widened once he saw the person who was sitting on the bench with his knees pulled up against his chest, probably because of how the other startled him. Rin coughed violently as realization of the situation hit him.
"S-Shima!"
The other squinted his eyes and blushed violently, averting his gaze. "R-R-Rin…W-What are you doing here?" he asked, setting his legs back on the ground.
'He's embarrassed… Good going, idiot.' Rin cursed inside his head. How should he respond to that, without making the pink hair even more embarrassed? "O-Oh I was just walking by and… You have a really nice singing voice.-" Rin slapped his hand over his mouth. 'W-What the hell was that!' he felt his own cheeks warm. Yet again.
Shima almost fell over at that, his face as red as a tomato. "T-T-Thanks. I never would've thought that someone was listening."
'Is that how he's telling me to leave him alone? Or how he expresses his anger politely…'
"It wasn't on purpose!" the demon boy blabbers, his hands out in defense. "I-I didn't know it was you, and the singing voice was nice, and, and—" 'Here I go again…'
"It's fine, I guess…" the pink haired exwire sighed softly, cheeks still flaming. "So…" he tried to direct their conversation away from the… how to say 'incident' "Why are you out at this hour? It's late and you're all drenched. You might catch a cold, y'know…"
"Says who…"Rin pouts. His mood suddenly drops even lower. Ah damn, and here he had forgot about it. Shima arches an eyebrow at his classmates seemingly distraught face.
"Something's wrong? You can tell me." The pink hair inquires and Rin sighs. Should he tell anyone about IT…? He felt like he was going to explode if he didn't and Shima was one of his closest friends. But the demon did not want to look like a freak. Certainly Shima will be disgusted, even tell him off, he also had brothers. The other patiently waited for the demon boy's response, and after receiving none he gave up.
"If you don't want to then don't force yourself—"
"There's this… problem." Rin cut in before he could finish.
Something just told him that he could tell Shima about it.
They sat down on the bench and Rin let everything pour out of his heart and mind. He told him everything about Yukio, about situation he was in, and the new feelings he felt for the first time in his life.
Shima listened intently to him from the begging till the end, not interrupting him, nodding his head just at all the right times.
And he certainly did not tell him off.
They sat together until the night fell.
"Any luck?" Shima asked him casually, sipping his drink. "With your brother, I mean."
"Still nothing. I tried to hint him, but he just brushed it of as nothing. Or more like didn't notice it, that dense four-eyes." Rin grumbled, sulking.
Shima just laughed. "I'm sure it can't be that bad."
Rin just glared at him. "Why are you laughing anyway? It's no laughing matter."
The pink hair just gave him that weird smile "Nothing just… feeling happy."
"What?"
"Nothing, nothing~."
"Well, stop it. I'm trying to be all dramatic here and you're ruining it."More laughter."Seriously stop it, Shima or I'll kick you out into the rain." That's right, they were currently at their 'secret meeting place' the same one where Rin tried to sneak up on Shima. It was currently raining and they sat on the bench underneath Rin's umbrella. Good thing it was big enough for two people.
"Why so serious? Everything's going to be just fine. Here, have a drink!" Shima gave him the drink and he took it, their fingers brushing for a fraction of second. Taking a sip Rin thought back to the day where he heard Shima sing. It was so nice and now that annoying laugh which was obviously meant to tease him grated against his ears. How can one sound so nice and so annoying at the same time.
"Hey, Shima…?"
"The other made a soft 'Hmm?' noise in acknowledgement while he looked straight ahead with a soft expression on his face.
"I was thinking… Back then when we—well THEN met. You were singing. It was a really nice song and… do you want to become a singer?" he ended awkwardly.
Shima flushed and looked him straight in the eye. "Yeah well… I don't know if I should tell you, it's kinda embarrassing…"
"Oh come on, I told you about my CRUSH on my BROTHER, and you can't tell me about it? You owe me atleast that much." Rin pouted.
"Alright, fine, no need to pout like that" Shima laughed
"I wasn't—"
"It's my dream since childhood…" Shima sighed. "Maybe it runs in the family, Kinzou really wanted to play the guitar in some famous band, never mind that though. It's just that I really wanted to be on stage, you know many people watching me, the stage lights shining in my face… "he closed his eyes as if imagining. "I always wanted to sing in front of an audience, but I guess I'm just too shy. Even though I am pretty awesome I can't do everything, y'know?" Rin rolls his eyes with a smile on his face. "You were actually the first person to hear me sing."
The demon boy blinks a few times. 'I-I was the first one? The first one to hear him sing?' "Are you serious? You mean you never sang to anyone before?"
"Nope."
"I kinda feel special now…"
"You are."
"Sheesh, what's up with that creep Mephisto and his parties?" Rin pouts as he walks to his and Shima's 'secret meeting' place. And not just any kind off party. A party who'll have all of that fancy ball dancing.
He felt like dying.
Shima snorts in amusement. "You mean you don't know how to dance?"
"Do I look like I dance? And stop laughing, I bet you don't know how to dance either!" Rin huffs in defense, crossing his arms over his chest a pout on his lips.
"Oh, I know how to dance." Shima counters smugly.
"You… You want to tell me that YOU can actually ball dance?" Rin snorted in disbelief. "Yeah, and your hair is green."
"No matter how much you try to deny the fact that I can actually dance and thus am better then you, it won't change the fact that I can. Besides it's a must for the Shima family to know how to ball dance and all of that fancy stuff. I was taught how to a long time ago." He explains as if it's nothing.
"I'll pretend I hadn't heard the first sentence."
Shima just smiled. Cocky bastard…
"So who's your date?" he smirked and elbowed Rin's side.
"It's Shiemi. I—I mean she is my girl friend, so why not. I just asked her out." The demon boy flushed recalling the memory. The girl was way too uh,-happy for his liking back then. Kinda scared him…
Shima frowned and Rin could swear his face darkened for a second. "Girlfriend? What do you mean your girlfriend?" Rin saw his mistake and quickly corrected himself. "Ah no, you misunderstood, I meant as in girl FRIEND you, know a friend who just happens to be a girl.-" Why… Why was he trying to prove Shima wrong so much before he got the wrong idea…? Why was he feeling a chill for a second when he thought about Shima getting the wrong idea…? Why was his heart beating so fast?
"Fine, I get it you can stop." Shima laughed. "Geez, talk about over reacting… It's not like I'm your…lover, right?"
'Phew…' Rin did not bother to acknowledge the pause in that sentence.
"Well, what about you? I'm sure there are a lot of girls who want to go to the dance with you."
"Yup!~ But I can't decide which of them to pick."
"...No one asked you out did they?"
"Nope." The pink hair curled into a ball and started sulking.
"Ah, no-! I didn't mean to. I'm sure someone will go to the ball with you, Eyebrows maybe—" Even Rin found that thought ridiculous.
"Eh, it doesn't matter. Even without a date you can have good time." Shima got up dusting his jeans. "For the time being, let the wonderful me teach you how to dance." The pink hair sighed dramatically, then bowed and extended his hand to the confused demon boy. "May I have this dance?" he asked in that over polite tone that made Rin bite his cheek from the inside to keep himself from laughing.
"First of all, what up with the 'wonderful me', secondly 'you must be kidding', thirdly 'you're kidding, right?' and lastly we don't have any music, but it doesn't matter since I'm not going to dance with you anyway."
Shima quickly fished out his cell from his jacket pocket and started going through his playlist, murmuring to himself. "Nope, not this one, this one's too fast, nope—ah, found it!~ Those three seem pretty good." He turned on the first song and put his phone on the bench. "Well, what're ya waiting for?" He smiled extending his hand once again.
"W-Were you even listening! I-I'm not going to dance with you! That would be weird!"
"Oh, come on it won't be that bad. I'm just going to teach you the basics. Or you can refuse and step all over poor Moriyama-chan's feet. I danced with a girl like that once and it was horribl—"
"Okay fine, I'll dance with you!" 'He just knows how to press all the right buttons, doesn't he?'
Rin grabs the warm hand and stands there. Shima looks at their linked hands with a blush on his cheeks. "So what do I do now?" No response.
"Hey, earth to Shima! Did you get a brain damage or something" Rin waves his hand infront of the dazed boys face and Shima seems to snap out of whatever it was.
"O-Oh right, n-now put your hand on my shoulder—"
"W-Why should I-?"
"Because I'm teaching you, now do it." Rin shyly puts his hand on the others shoulder. Without a warning, Shima puts his left arm around his waist and pulls him close. Rin's face turns six kinds of red. "H-HEY, why'd you do that!"
"Seriously, Rin, have you never watched two people dancing waltz...? I take your silence as a yes. Now come a little closer, because we can't dance like this." Rin unwillingly took a step forward.
"Alright then, let's begin…"
"So do you want to try it yet?"
"Y-Yeah, I think I got it memorized."
The song starts and they start somewhat dancing.
"H-Hey, it's that song you sang!" Rin says in recognition, turning his head towards the others phone, stepping on Shima's foot out of distraction, stumbling a little. The pink hair slightly winces, catching the raven haired boys balance and holding him close. Rin feels his face heating once again as he looked into bright amber eyes before him.
"S-Sorry" they both mutter at the same time breaking apart.
They continue to dance, more like sway into the beat of the song and Rin can barely register the rain starting to fall, he can barely register how close Shima's body has gotten to his, he could barely register how their dancing stance turned into somewhat a hug and the only thing he could hear was Shima's soft humming along with the song. Rin felt his body shuffling even closer to the warmth before him as the air cooled down from the rain slicing it mercilessly and he felt his head nuzzle the others shoulder.
Then it clicked to him.
He shouldn't be doing this. He shouldn't be feeling this. This was not Yukio.
But it felt so good so he just let himself. Let himself to continue this.
This dance in the rain.
'He seems to be having a good time.' Renzou smiles to himself lightly, his eyes focused on the balcony where the demon boy and his date were. They were laughing, talking about everything that came up. A nice view, really…He felt Rin's blue eyes on him and the pink hair felt his smile growing. Moriyama-chan waved at him, her long white dress sleeve going down, baring her forearm. Renzou waved back.
Guess, it's nothing to be worried about…
He himself was taking a break from all of the dancing. Rin's words were true, a lot of girls wanted to dance with him and he just couldn't say no. The Kyoto trio had decided to go without dates and just have a good time, Izumo joining them. Of course that did not end well and Renzou found himself stifling his laugh into his fist, once Bon and Izumo started to quarrel, like always.
He sighed at the memory, deciding to take one last look at Rin who looked—
Okay you don't really wanna know—let's just say he looked nice.
Renzou felt himself frown, once he saw that there was Yukio with them. He saw Rin's face light up once his fraternal twin touched his shoulder and whispered something into his ear. Yukio seemed to say something to Moriyama-chan, who just nodded in understanding and they both left, leaving her alone.
He hadn't seen Rin afterwards.
Once the grand clock showed midnight, the pink hair decided to approach Rin's date, who was talking with Izumo casually, Izumo pretending not to care even though she was listening intently to whatever the blonde had to say.
"Hey, Moriyama-chan, Izumo-chan.~ You both look very nice this evening." The purple-haired girl just 'hmph'ed in that manner of hers while Shiemi smiled.
"T-Thank you, Shima-kun."
"No problem.~ Say, have you seen Rin? I hadn't seen him since the party started." He tried to sound nonchalant.
Shiemi just rubbed her chin in thought. "No, I don't think I saw him… Yuki-chan said they had some important business to attend to and they both left."
Renzou just frowned… Something told him that this wasn't going to end well.
'He's late…' the pink haired exwire thought to himself for the millionth time this minute. He stretched his arms above his head and yawned. 'He really is late… Did something happen yesterday? Damn should've brought an umbrella…' he shook from the slight chill and rubbed his arms. Dammit, it started raining. Hard. He looked over at his cell only to see that only two minutes had passed since he last looked. It looked a lot longer than that.
'He is late.'
How long was Shima waiting there anyway? A hour? Yup, that seemed like it. 'Maybe he's not feeling well…' Renzou heard a rustle behind him and he looked around to find the demon boy all drenched running towards him.
"Heeeey, Shima!~ Sorry for being late, kinda forgot about the time."
Rin was unusually happy… not that he wasn't but this was different. His gut just told him so.
"Geez, and here I thought you weren't going to come. I thought something might've happened."
"It did! Something super awesome happened!" Rin laughed, his ocean blue eyes sparkling.
"A-And what that might be…?" 'Shit it can't be that— Okay calm down stomach, it's cool, I'm overthinking.' Fuck this weird feeling of nervousness. Where was it coming from?
"Guess what! Yesterday Yukio said he loves me! Can you believe that! He said—"
Renzou felt his heart drop to the ground. The rest of Rin's speak seemed to have tuned out. He couldn't believe it. He just couldn't. He felt his eyes suddenly sting with what could only be tears. All he could hear was that wretched sentence. 'Yukio loves me…'
Rin stoped his rant and looked at the other. Shima seemed—sad? Hurt? Nah, he was just seeing things. He felt a small pang in his own stomach and waved his hand carefully infront of the others strangely dull amber eyes.
"Hey, Shima…? Are you alright? Aren't you going to say anything?"
The pink haired boy lifted his head to look him in the eyes and Rin felt that lovehigh smile abandon his own face.
"Its… great."
It's been four days since he last saw Shima…
'Damn, is he really sick?'
"Bon, I think we should go look for Shima-kun. It's late and he might catch a cold in this rain." Konekomaru said worriedly whilst looking outside.
"Geez, you worry too much. Shima's not a child; he can deal with it himself."
"It's different this time…"
"Hm?"
"There's a rumor that Okumura-kun is dating...someone." Konekomaru decided it was the best if he left out 'his brother' part.
"So what does the demon bastard have to do with anything?"
Konekomaru sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose. "Geez, you're so dense sometimes, Bon. Let's go. "
[…You know I'm gonna find a way to let you have your way with me
You know I'm gonna find a time to catch your hand and make you stay...]
Why did it have to be so painfull? Why did the rain have to remind him so much about Rin.
'H-Hey, it's that song you sang!...S-Sorry!'
He turned the volume higher, the sound of that song blasting into his ears full force. He closed his eyes tightly and continued to sing. Damn it all. Who cares if someone might hear him, who cares if someone might hear his voice breaking? Who gives a damn for the tears unconsciously streaming down his face and disappearing along with the ribbons of rain? Not Rin certainly. Never him.
[...And if I was scared, then I would be glad to tell you and walk away
But I am not lying, I am just trying to find my way in to you…]
'It's…great. What the hell kind of response was that! Why didn't I just—Just…'
He brought his knees even closer to himself. Screw it all. 'Shima you're a goddamn scaredy cat.'
It was enough to make him break down for the n-th time during this week.
He felt an umbrella over his head. C-Could it be..? He looked up only to find Konekomaru with Bon standing besides him holding out his umbrella.
"Geez, what the hell happened to you, what the hell were you thinking running off like—"
"Bon." Konekomaru raised his hand as if to silence him. He slowly reached out to touch his pink haired friends shaking shoulder. "Renzou… what's wrong? Why do you keep running of like that? We were worried, a-are you crying-?" That certainly caught Bon's attention.
"H-Hey what's wrong? Are you okay?" obviously he was not.
"Y-Yeah. I'm fine." Renzou gave them a painful smile and wiped at his eyes. "I—I'm f-fine."
"Shh, it's alright, tell us what happened. We're here." Konekomaru sat beside him and pat his back awkwardly. He hadn't seen Renzou truly crying for… a while now.
They were there for him. And it made him break down yet again.
'It doesn't feel… right anymore.'
Rin continues to hum to himself while he was curled up on the windowsill like a cat, looking out through the window. It was raining. He found his hand drawing patterns, trailing down aimlessly on the rainy window. 'I don't know if this is what I wanted. Is it supposed to feel like this?'
Yet something was missing.
"Nii—Rin, are you feeling okay? You seem out of it." Yukio calls him from his usual work place. "You're constantly humming."
'H-Huh?' He was doing what now?
Something about this felt…wrong.
'Yukio. We need to talk."
"I-I'm so sorry, Yukio. I really am."
"S-Shima! Open up! Come on Renzou, I know you're not sick! I need to talk to you!" he continued to bang at the door. 'Come on, come on, come on-!'
The door opened harshly nearly sending Rin flying, only to reveal a very VERY pissed of looking Bon. Rin did not have the time for this.
"B-Bon! Where's—"
"Would'ja stop already! Just get the hell out already, he doesn't want to see you."
Rin clenched his teeth trying to control himself. He really shouldn't be dealing with the skunk head here.
"I'm not going anywhere until I get to talk to him! You can try and kick me out, I'll still come back until he goddamned actually LISTENS to what I have to say!"
"Look here, you brat." Bon growls ferociously at him, glaring daggers. "I'm not going to get into your business, but I'm also not going to just stand there and let you play with him. So you better get the hell out, because he does not want to see you." And with that he proceeds to close the door.
"Tell him I'm not going to leave until he comes out!" Rin hears after him but Bon just closes the door.
Fuck…
"Kid's really eager to meet you."
"I know. Heard it all."
"I'm not going to interfere or anything, but it's up to you."
"Yeah."
'Dammit… It's all my fault. No wonder he does not want to see me. I was the one who was completely blind here.' Rin sits down besides the door and pulls his knees close to his chest. "Ah, damnit I really can't do anything right, can I." he sighs.
"You could say that."
Rin's eyes widen as he jumps from his sitting place. He didn't hear the door opening at all. His heart starts beating wildly in his chest at the sight of tired looking Shima. It looked like he hadn't slept for days now.
"R-Renzou."
"Hm? Renzou? What happened to Shima?"
'Was that sarcasm?'
'Well? Weren't you going to tell me something? I'm waiting."
"I—" Rin felt his breath hitch. There were so many things he wanted to tell him. 'I'm sorry if I hurt you, I was an ass and did not notice anything, I did not mean it, I—I missed you.'
There were so so many things he wanted to tell him. But nothing came out.
"If you're not going to say anything, then—"
"I'm not going out with Yukio anymore!" Rin shouted awkwardly once he saw the door closing. The door seemed to freeze for a moment, until it opened up wider to reveal a shocked looking Renzou. "W-What did you say?"
"Y-Yukio! I'm not going out with him anymore! I-I don't love him in that way! I-I broke up with him."
"Is that all?"
What was he supposed to say? Did the other expected more?
The raven hair took in a deep breath. Wasn't it why he came here for? To tell him…
"B-Back then! When we met there at the park, I hadn't even once thought about him not seriously at least, all I could think about was you, you singing that song and I knew that I loved it, thinking about you that is. I-I always looked forward to our meetings it felt so nice and so right and after I got together with Yukio all I could think about was you and the day when we were dancing in the rain and...and-"
The realization hit him. He was in love- he was so in love it hurt. And it wasn't Yukio. It was Renzou.
"R-Renzou I-"
It was him all along. He was just too blind to notice it.
[Hold on, I'll be here when it's all done you know
Cause what's the point in chasing if I can't enjoy your face and
We can't be wrong tonight, can we be wrong tonight]
No more words were needed. Rain brought them together, separated, and then brought them back.
A/N: Tadaaah~ Did you enjoy it? I surely didn't. For anyone who wants to know what song I used it's Find A Way-Safety Suit. I know it's old and overused but it fit them really well. And let's just pretend Shima has a nice singing voice, 'kay? For those who did not get the ending I sum up: Rin only wanted to apologize, he figured our Renzou was inlove with him, but he did not figure out his own feelings until the very end.