Hi! I'm Sammie! I used to write on a different penname for Fanfiction but I decided to start over! I got this idea from a song called Doctor by Cute is What We Aim For. I know I'm not an amazing writer I'm just doing this for fun. So stick with me. (: I'm hoping to do better on this story then I have in the past. I'm gonna try to stay motivated and not rush through it. It may take me a bit to get up updates but I'm only gonna do one story at a time for a while. (: Hope you enjoy. Bye!

Sam I Am

Disclaimer: I'm not Stephanie Meyer, and I don't own Twilight. (:

"Good Morning Miss Swan." My therapist said in his 'Oh So Formal- I'm with a Patient Voice.' I was distracted by the big brown stain on his white button up shirt. I was amazed at his ability to stain the exact same spot with coffee every morning. The spot was directly in the middly of his gut. I wonder if he aims directly at the spot when he spills, maybe...

"Miss Swan?" Mr. Franklin stared at me like I was insane. I'm not. But then again I am in a therapist's office.

"Uh, Good Morning Mr. Franklin." I smiled my best fake smile. "How are you today?"

"Um, I believe Miss Swan the question is how are you?" Mr. Franklin said peering at me through his his thick framed glasses. He tugged at his stark white hair and fidgeted with his tie. Aren't I supposed to be the nervous one?

"I'm fine." I said through my teeth. I was done with being polite. Mr. Franklin knew I didn't want to be here. I didn't need to lie.

"Miss Swan, I don't think just talking to me is helping you any. You don't seem comfortable enough to talk about it with me." Mr. Franklin sipped at his coffee.

"I don't need to talk about it with anyone I'm fine. I'm not insane, I don't need to be here."

"No Miss Swan you are not insane. That you are right about. You're depressed, you let a relationship bring you down to an ultimate low. You are barely trying to dig yourself out of this hole." Mr. Franklin challenged me with his eyes. Did I dare deny the fact that I was depressed? That I let a man get the best of me? No I won't.

"Mr. Franklin you're right, talking to you isn't changing anything." I couldn't even look him in the eye at this admittance.

"Miss Swan I want you to go home. Pull out a notebook, and write it all down." Mr. Franklin began to pull out a tattered looking notebook. "Like a journal. Except you don't right what's happening now. You right about him. From when you met him, to the right now. In my office, when I gave you the assignment. I have a journal of my own right here. I right all about my experiance with my ex-wife. It let's me blow off a lot of steam." Whoa Franklin has an ex-wife? That's a surprise.

"So...you want me to go home and write about...him" I couldn't say his name. Not yet.

"Yes, start tonight. I'll see you next week." He smiled a weak smile and rushed me out of the room.

When I got home I searched the house for and empty notebook. The only one I could find was in Alice's room. I flipped it open and clicked open my pen. I couldn't believe I was actually doing what Franklin said. But I knew that if I didn't do it I would never get over him. I'd be like this for the rest of my life. That I couldn't handle. I tested out the ink and began to write.

Have you ever had your heart broken? I don't mean the silly high school romance heart break. I mean real heart break. The kind that follows you no matter where you go. The kind you can't ever shake. Whenever anything looks optimistic it just goes and knocks everything down again. The kind where you wake up everyday wondering where he is, or what he's doing. Wondering what your life would be like if everything between you and him had stayed perfect. You're still mad at him but you love him, and you want him back but he doesn't want you. You can't move on or go back.

If you've experienced this kind of heartache then you and I are one in the same. If you haven't then you're about to learn what real heart break is. Your about to see what it's like when Prince Charming doesn't come back. When it's hard to breathe and when no man compares to what you once had. I experience this feeling every day, always wondering what could've been. If you think that everybody has happy endings you're about to be enlightened. For alot of us with bad endings there best friends send them to therapy. Alot of times there therapist is a man with coffee stains on his shirt and has never had a love life of his own. How he understands what we're going through beats me. So my therapist assigned me to write this. The story of how I met him to when I got this assignment just a half hour ago. I want to warn others about heart break, so here. It's better for you to learn through others mistakes rather then your own.

"Come on!" I groaned beating the wheel with my hands. Hundreds of cars sat unmoving in front and behind me. Ugh, traffic. It was backed up for miles. I knew I was going to be late to pick up Alice from the bridal shop. She was helping my brother's fiancé pick out her wedding dress. Rose was going to meet my brother Emmett at a nearby restaurant afterwards. So I was her ride home. And now I'm late, and she's going to be pissed. Life sucks when you have to drive my best friend Alice everywhere because she got her car totaled by an old guy. Such is my life.

After sitting in the same position for at least thirty minutes my cell phone rang. I tried to ignore it because I knew who it was and I wasn't in the mood to argue. You never want to make Alice mad. Don't let her pixie-like looks and small form fool you, she's small but powerful. I didn't want to listen to her complaints but after the fifth call I gave in.

"Hello." I groaned. 'Dear god, please don't let it be Alice.' I thought.

"Bella, where are you?!" Guess luck wasn't in my favor.

"Hey Alice, sorry traffic is backed up for miles." I took a deep breath and tried to calm down as the traffic moved an inch. I knew she wouldn't care. Planning Rosalie's wedding seemed to be the only thing on her mind for the past six months.

"Bella you know I have to be at Jasper's by…" Her voice was drowned out by the screech of tires and the screams of surprise from the people around me. I dropped the phone and twisted around in my seat to see what was going on.

The cars behind me were all quickly pulling of the side of the road, moving safely out of the way of a swerving car weaving through the traffic. I sat frozen in a state of shock trying to remember how to drive a car. But before I could push down on the gas, it made impact. I let out a surprised scream and I swear I saw my life flash before my eyes. It wasn't much of a life but I still sobbed as the pain of the car lurching forward ravaged my body. The seat belt protested and dug into my skin as I lunged forward. My head hit the steering wheel while the windows broke. I felt the searing pain as the shards of glass cut through my skin. I could feel a warm liquid seeping from the wounds caused by the glass. The smell was unbearable. I tried to hold my breath but I needed air now more than ever.

"Oh dear god! Is she alright?" A woman yelled. Many others were screaming. I could hear the sirens as emergency vehicles pulled up. I sobbed thinking about all the pain my family and friends would feel when I died. I knew this would ruin Rosalie and Emmett's wedding. And it was my entire fault because I decided to take the major highway to the bridal shop. When stubborn little me could have taken the longer but safer back way.

I tried focusing on the voices of the people and paramedics so that I wouldn't pass out. I knew if I closed my eyes I may never open them again. My eyes were drooping dangerously low, sleep sounded so nice. A comforting numbness was creeping over my brain. I wanted to give in and just relax. The awake part of my brain told me that I shouldn't. I used every bit of strength I had to keep my eyes open.

As the paramedics began to pull me out that was when the real pain set in. I hadn't realized just how badly I was hurt. My leg screamed as they yanked me from the seat. I had to have broken it. The bruises from the seat belt ached and every breath I took sent a burning pain through my chest. All of that plus the massive amount of blood seeping from a cut on my arm. I just knew I wasn't going to make it out of this alive. I decided that it was easier to give into the numbness now then fight it all the way to the hospital and die anyways.

I relaxed and felt the numbness take over. I didn't feel any of the pain after that. It was like I fell into a deep dreamless sleep. I was at complete ease until I was awoken by a distant beeping noise. As I sat and listened to the beeping noise it seemed to get close. When it felt like the beeping noise couldn't possibly get any closer I began to hear other noises, loud shaky breathing and low whispers. I couldn't see but I could almost guess that shaky breathing was crying and the whispers were people consoling the crying.

I couldn't understand why anyone would be crying in such peacefulness. And if I was dead that meant I was going to heaven and nobody cried in heaven. Unless I was going to hell, but I don't particularly think I'm that terrible of a person. I strained to speak up to ask this person why they were crying. I tried to open my lips and take a deep breath but I didn't know how too. I couldn't feel my body only the fuzziness that was enclosed around my mind.

I tried for what felt like forever to move my fingers and toes but I couldn't find them. I sighed in frustration. It was then that the whispers turned to yelling.

"Oh! Did you hear that she sighed!" A shaky voice croaked. This must have been the one crying. "Somebody go get the doctor!"

Doctor? ….. Doctor….Why do I need a doctor I feel fine. I tried to remember what I was doing before I fell asleep. I was picking up Alice, there was traffic and then….tires squealing….people screaming….the pain….the numbness. It all rushed back to me in painful bursts the memories and the pain. My leg stung, every breath burned. I could feel blood pumping behind my bruises, and my arm felt stiff.

I took a deep breath and began to cry. I cried because I was happy that I wasn't dead. I cried because the pain was overwhelming. I cried because I was scared and lonely. I felt tugging heard more yelling and then a velvet voice very close to my ear whispered.

"Miss Swan can you hear me?" The beauty of the voice made me forget to respond. By the time I remembered they probably had already given up by. I had to try. I opened my mouth and licked my dry lips. The air tasted like hospital, ugh.

"Yes." An unfamiliar voice croaked. Could that have been me?

"Oh Bella!" I immediately recognized the shaky voice as Alice.

"Alice." The voice croaked again. I could hear the velvet voice barking orders and then it was in my eye again.

"Miss Swan, can you open your eyes." It annoyed me that this voice wasn't using my real name.

"Call me Bella." The voice was beginning to sound more like my own.

"Bella," The velvet voice chuckled. "Please open your eyes now."

I tried to open my eyes. It felt like one of those days in allergy season when my eyes are crusted together. I pulled them open to look into the most beautiful green eyes I've ever seen.

"Whoa!"

"Ha, Good Morning Miss Swan. I'm Dr. Masen."

"It's Bella."

"Hello Bella."

I smiled thinking this was gonna be the best trip to the hospital ever.

Boy was I wrong.

Okay so there's the first chapter. There will be more stuff from the present but mostly here story. I really like this idea. (: I hope you liked it. Review please.

Sam I Am (: