Takes Place: Right after the end of S5 E20, "Show me Going" (Literally right after)
Rosa Diaz stood in the middle of a annihilated bathroom, wrapped in her friends' arms, and for a moment she thought everything was going to be alright. She let all the pain and fear and memories melt off of her, instead soaking in her friends' warmth, and in Amy's case, toilet water.
For a few moments she stood in their arms, sharing their first relaxed, peaceful moments since she had called her badge number over the radio. She would never admit this to anyone, but in that moment, standing in a bathroom embraced in their hug, Rosa Diaz felt safe. Too bad moments didn't last forever.
Rosa slowly pulled out of the hug and Gina let go, leaving Amy still trying to cling to her. Tears flowed freely down the Amy's face, and Rosa looked away, choosing instead to observe the debris of the restroom.
"Wow Ames. You really did a number of this Bathroom." Rosa said, trying to keep her own emotions at bay. Amy rewarded her with a watery chuckle.
"Yeah. Sorry. Your gonna have to wait a while to use it again." She forced a laugh, but then the tears were back again and she was chocking on her words. "I wa- I was just trying to fi- to fix the toilet, to do something for you, but I- I failed," She was spiraling, "And I couldn't be their for you when you were in danger, and I couldn't even fix a damm toilet for you-"
"Ames..."
"- and I was so scared and stupid, and I'm so, so sorry Rosa, and-"
"Amy!" Amy finally looked up from soaked floor, her breath coming in small gasps. Rosa gently griped her friend's arms. "It's okay. It's okay. I promise it's okay. It's just a bathroom." I've seen much worse today. "I don't mind going downstairs to pee for a little while. It means I'll get to see you." She gave Amy a rare, soft smile. Amy smiled back.
"Awwww, Rosa's being a big sap." Gina teased, cutting through the moment, as per usual. But underneath her smirking mask, Rosa could see how truly worried Gina had been. She chose not to comment, instead rolling her eyes with a sigh.
"Speaking of toilets, I am going to go visit the can downstairs can before we head to Shaw's." Rosa announced, and left the bathroom. Amy wiped her face with her hands and let Gina lead her back to the others.
"Wow. Amy. What happened to you?" Charles greeted. Amy looked down at her toilet soaked outfit.
"Oh. Yeah. I should go change." She muttered, and left for the lockers downstairs. She changed slowly, lost in deep thought. When she was done she texted Gina.
—
I'm ready. Meet you by the entrance?
Idc. Is Rosa w/ u?
No. Why?
She's not w/ us either
Damn. I'll go check the bathroom. She probably still just using it.
K
—
Signing, Amy shoved her phone in the pocket of her clean clothes and headed for the bathroom. She opened the door and steeped inside. No Rosa. The room was silent. If she was in here she was probably in a stall. Amy slid silently past the the empty stalls until she saw a closed one with a pair of black boots.
"Hey, Rosa?" She heard a startled sniff and knew that her guess was correct.
"Seriously Amy? I'm doing business in here." Rosa's voice was thick and strained, and Amy saw right through the lie.
"Your pants are up Rosa. Can I come in?"
"No."
"Rosa, something is wrong, I'm coming in." Amy gave the stall door a firm push, allowing the flimsy lock to slide out of place and the door to swing open. Rosa Diaz was sitting on a closed toilet, crying. Or at least, had been crying. She eyes were red, her cheeked were raw, and she stared and the floor, sniffling. Amy felt a jolt of panic in her gut, but pushed it aside. Rosa had been strong for her, minutes earlier. It was time for her to be strong for Rosa.
"Hey. You okay? The other were just wondering where you were."
"I'm fine." Rosa muttered. Amy crouched down in front of her and rested a hand on her knee.
"I'm not asking you to tell me anything you don't want to. I just want you to know I'm here for you, and if you ever want to tell anyone, anything, I'd be glad to listen." Amy's words bounce of the walls, echoing in their ears.
"You're the one who demolished a restroom."
"And you're the one who was just in an active shooting." Rosa looked up in surprise. She did not expect such bluntness from Amy, but it actually felt nice that she wasn't tip-toeing around her feelings in pity.
"That's fair." Rosa admitted quietly. There was a moment of silence. And then... "It was terrifying." She whispered. Amy watched her silently.
"For the first time in my life I was thinking, 'What If I die here today? What if I die and I don't get to say goodbye to bye people I care about? What if I get shot and die and the bad guys just keeps shooting and killing people and my death was pointless? So I put those thoughts aside and told myself that the only way that wasn't go to happen was it I catch this guy, or run. And as scared as I was, I could never run, so I had to catch these guys. We ended up killing three of the shooters. I did't kill them. All I did was shoot the other two in the leg and arm. But I can still remember the blood of the shooters and the blood of the police pooling together on the floor. It all looked the same. We all look the same in the end." Rosa finished. A pair of tears slid down her face. Amy felt horror in her chest and hugged Rosa firmly. She could not imagine how Rosa was feeling.
"Thank you." Amy whispered. "Thank you for telling me." Rosa shrugged, wiping her face.
"I guess it helped. A bit." She admitted. There was long pause. Amy heard her phone vibrate. It was Gina.
—
R u guys coming or what?
U there?
Everything ok?
Yep. You guys go ahead, Rosa and I will meet u there.
Okay. You sure?
Amy paused to check with Rosa.
Yeah. Go ahead. See u there.
Ok.
—
"So, you want to go drink?" Amy offered. Rosa snorted.
It was exactly what she wanted. She just wanted to get wasted and forget about the day's events. She wanted to sit in silence and drain drink after drink until she couldn't think. Until she couldn't remember. And for some reason she wanted Amy at her side.
"Do I ever."