Deanna Discovers The Not So Lonely

By Deanna Kranz

Disclaimers: Characters, ships, and jargon belong to Paramount.

A special thanks to PT21 for allowing me to write a sequel to her story "Need's Of The Lonely." Though it is possible to understand my story without reading hers first, I highly recommend you read it since this will make much more sense that way. That and it's a very good story on it's own. I know it's posted on here.

Deanna Troi was ready for bed and decided to go check on her daily checklist of things that had to be done to make sure she had not forgotten anything. She sat at her desk as the list was shown on her computer screen and she began mentally checking off item after item. Suddenly, she saw an item that had slipped her mind: a report. It had to be in before morning. She had finished it up in Ten Forward before Commander Riker had joined her to do some crew evaluations. She looked over the few PADDs on her desk but none of them had it. She glanced over the room to see if she had placed it somewhere else but there were no other PADDs in the room. She retraced her steps in her head, starting with Ten Forward. They had begun trying to do the crew evaluations but it was a particularly busy day and quite noisy. They both decided that it would be best to go somewhere more quiet to continue and ended up going to Commander Riker's quarters. That's where she had put the PADD, on his table. She thought a moment about what she was going to do. The report had to be in by morning. She considered going by his quarters early in the morning to pick it up. Since it was done all she had to do was put it into her computer and submit it. But she didn't know what time he was going to be getting up.

"Computer, what time is it?" she asked.

"0145 hours," replied the monotone voice. Deanna sighed realizing he was probably asleep. She opened up her mind to him to check, just in case she was in luck. But tonight she had no such luck; all she sensed indicated he was asleep. She paced the room a couple of times before getting another idea: she would go get it right now, without waking him up. It was simple, she would use her command override to go in, get the PADD and leave. She decided that was her best option and she would tell him the next time she saw him. Realizing she was already in her night gown, she went into her room to put her uniform back on for the trip down the hall.

After putting on her uniform she walked down the hall to his door. Without hesitation she punched in her code and the door opened. She walked straight to the table where the PADD was, picked it up and turned to head back to the door. She had almost reached the door when something caught her eye: a turquoise garment on the couch. She stopped and went over to it, picking it up. It was a science lab coat, the kind Dr. Crusher wore. In fact, it smelled like her perfume. Maybe she came by and forgot it on her way out, she thought. Maybe not.

Deanna remembered how severalalmost two months ago she had done just as she had just done; used her command override to come see Will. He and Beverly were both in turmoil and she had come to help. After leaving that night he had gone to see her, talk about what had transpired between them as a result of him revealing his feelings for her, feelings Odan had helped him realize. Neither one had wanted to talk to her about it afterwards, but they both did say that they had resolved their situation in a way they were satisfied. She had assumed that meant that they would each continue as before; as simply friends. But now, holding the coat in her hand, she felt a nudge at her stomach.

She put the coat back where she had gotten it from and went towards his bedroom. The door was mostly open and she looked inside. It was dark, but the light from the main living area was enough for her to confirm her feelings: They were there, together. They both lay sleeping. She could make out Beverly curled up against his body, his arms around her under the covers. She couldn't tell if she was wearing anything since she was completely covered up but Deanna guessed that she wasn't since Will was not wearing a shirt and probably nothing else either. It was a bitter sweet feeling, realizing that both her closest friends had decided to pursue a relationship after all. She was happy for them, but sad that what she had held on to tightly with Will would remain just that: memories of a long ago and far away. She wondered why they were keeping it a secret, why they didn't even want to let her know.

Beverly stirred in the bed and Deanna froze completely, not wanting to expose her presence to either of them. Beverly turned to face Will as he began moving as well. Deanna couldn't tell what it was they were doing but decided to put her head back in the same room with her body and simply stood outside the door, listening, hoping they would go back to sleep so she could leave undetected.

"What are you doing?" asked Will, making Deanna wish she could just disappear.

"I'm going to my quarters," answered Beverly.

"Computer, time," called Will.

"0158210 hours," replied the computer.

"You know you don't have to leave. Staying won't change anything," he told Beverly.

"You always leave."

"I always have to be on the bridge when I do."

"That's convenient," she said, grabbing a sheet to cover herself as she sat up on the edge of the bed. Deanna could only hear the rustling of the sheets and Will's soft laugh following the rustling sound.

"Beverly, I've seen your body many times now," he said following his laugh.

"I'm… Cold," she replied. He was right, he had seen her naked, but it was one thing during their agreed upon sex, it was another after it was all said and done. She felt that allowing herself to be comfortable nude in front of him when they were not going to have sex was somehow moving their uncommitted sex towards a committed relationship, which she did not want.

"Fine," Will said and turned to get comfortable in the bed, "leave."

No, thought DeannaI still need to leave!

Beverly could hear something in his voice. It wasn't disappointment, which she half expected since he had feelings for her, but resignation.

"Why don't you want me to leave?" she asked.

"I know this is what you want and what we agreed on, but I don't like it when you leave like this, when you don't have to, when you leave simply because we're done having sex."

"Why?"

Will sighed; he wasn't sure how to explain it without risking insult. He thought about how he was going to say it, but it was late and he was tired so he was sure he wasn't going to get it right.

"It makes me feel like you are simply rendering services and leaving; the only thing missing is me paying you."

Deanna was shocked; she never imagined that what they had agreed on was to simply have sex, to use each other for their need and nothing else. This was the kind of relationship that, as a counselor, she would never recommend or support. And she couldn't believe he had basically just called Beverly a hooker. She wanted to go in there and talk to them, help them reach an emotionally healthier agreement. But she couldn't, she had to leave and soon, and without neither of them hearing the main door swish open and close.

Meanwhile, Beverly could feel her whole body rise in heat as she blushed deeply. No one had ever called her a prostitute before and it hadn't occurred to her that that was essentially what she had asked for. She didn't know how to respond. She now felt vulnerable sitting there, naked, and suddenly feeling like she really was no better than a prostitute. At least they did it to make money.

Her silence told Will how his words had come across and he was sorry he had even mentioned it. He sat up, scooting his body behind her, and pulling her close to him. She reluctantly allowed him to hold her, not knowing what he intended to accomplish. He held her for a moment before taking in a deep breath, feeling his lungs with the scent of her hair, and giving her a kiss on the cheek.

"Look, if you want to leave, you can. I don't want you to feel like you have to stay. I just want to make it clear that you can always stay as long as you like and it won't change anything. It won't change how I feel and it won't change our agreement. I'm sorry about what I said, I wasn't thinking and believe me I don't mean it."

"But you're right," she said, tears starting to form in her eyes. "I'm no different than a prostitute."

"Oh yes you are," he said, not letting her continue. "You are not sleeping with every man who is willing to pay the right price. That is a prostitute. I don't remember us ever discussing payment of any type. You are my friend, and you needed something. You came to me and I was more than happy to give you what you needed with no strings attached. That's what friends do; they give each other things without expecting something in return. That is what we agreed on, right?"

Beverly nodded, causing the tears that had formed to fall.

That's a nice way of putting it, thought Deanna.

Will wiped away the tears that had fallen, replacing the moisture on her cheek with another kiss. "Now, do you need help looking for your clothes or are you going to look for your comfy spot?" She was silent, but he heard the hesitation in her sigh. "Would you feel more comfortable if we were both wearing clothes?"

"Yeah," she answered softly.

"I can fix that," he said as he got up out of bed.

Deanna felt relieved, she was not sure what she would have done if Beverly had decided to leave. Now she just needed to wait for them to fall back asleep. She hoped it was soon, she was getting very tired herself.

Beverly looked over at Will to see what he was going to do. He didn't feel uncomfortable being naked in front of her and she silently admired his well toned body as he walked over to his dresser and began taking clothes out of the drawers. She had never seen him naked like that before. She had seen him in a professional manner as his physician and in heated passion. Watching him made her feel something, but she wasn't quite sure what it was. He turned to face her as he walked back to the bed and smiled at her.

"I don't know how 'cold' you are," he said, handing her a shirt and some pants, "so you can put on as much as you need."

"Thanks," she said and looked around the floor trying to spot her underwear. She found all her clothes except her underwear.

"Is this what you're looking for?" asked Will. Beverly turned to see him; he was already wearing his boxers and a shirt, her underwear in his hand.

"Yes," she said, blushing deeply and taking them from him and putting them on. She put on his shirt and stood up to put on the pants. Once she was standing, however, she realized it actually covered her well, falling right above her knees. She sat back down on the bed and Will took the pants, realizing she wasn't going to wear them.

"You can take anything from this drawer," he said as he returned the pants to a drawer in his dresser.

"Ok," Beverly replied as she slipped back under the covers.

Will walked back to the bed and sat next to her. He got under the covers and as he laid down, he said, "Good night, Beverly."

"It's actually morning," she said, smiling. She laid down next to him, but kept a friendly distance. He would have preferred to have had her curled up in his arms again, but would settle for her choosing to stay. Soon they were both slumbering again.

Are they sleeping yet? Wondered Deanna. She had heard them get back in bed, say good night, and become silent. She didn't know how much time had passed, but the silence, her tense situation, and growing sleepiness made the time crawl much slower than it actual was. She decided to concentrate as much as possible and was finally able to hear their individual, restful rhythms of their breathing. As she peaked through the door again, she cursed at herself for not simply opening up her mind to them, she would have known the instant they were asleep. Exhaustion was getting the best of her.

She saw them laying next to each other, both facing the same way but having no physical contact. She felt jealousy and slight anger at Beverly. Even though she was her best friend, she couldn't understand why she was holding back. She knew that if she would have been laying next to Will she would not have hesitated to curl up against him. She also knew that Beverly didn't see Will as just a friend. Her feelings towards him were beyond that. Though she wouldn't call it love like Will's feelings for her, her feelings weren't too far from that. Maybe Beverly just didn't know or understand what she was feeling. But it was far too late to be contemplating Beverly's feelings. She was tired and they were both finally sleeping deeply enough that she could leave without being heard. As she pulled her head out of the bedroom she saw Beverly move out of the corner of her eye. She returned her head to confirm what she had just seen. Beverly was moving closer to Will, and she reached for his arm and draped it over her waist, taking his hand in hers and holding it against her chest, as if cuddling with it. Deanna smiled as she pulled her head back once more and headed out of Will Riker's quarter and to her own.

Oh, she knows what those feelings are she thought as she got back into her night gown and into bed, and what they mean. She knows what they can lead to. She may not know it consciously, but she knows deep down inside her, and she is terrified of them.

But why?