Yes...I've been sucked into Undertale. That game is just...so good. So I don't even regret it.
This was a prompt by kurohi91 on tumblr, who asked that Papyrus finally get the mouse to eat his spaghetti. With Papyrus involved, so is Sans, and that means PUNS. And kurohi91 was kind enough to indulge me in sharing horrible puns.
Unfortunately, the mouse doesn't quite get the spaghetti. But it appreciates the effort!
Actual fonts are on the AO3 version of this story, which has been up for a while longer than this...
Spaghetti and Ice: In which Papyrus tries to feed a very determined mouse his famous spaghetti, but everything keeps icing over.
Spaghetti and Ice
There was always a mouse searching for a piece of cheese. Or, occasionally, a plate of spaghetti.
It was just the one time that Sans had seen the mouse try to figure out how to eat Papyrus's frozen spaghetti, but that had been enough. After that he couldn't stop seeing the mouse all over the place, including Waterfall and Hotland.
Perhaps the mouse had shortcuts similar to his own?
In any case, the mouse was always out of luck in the end. Sans would have felt sorry for the thing if he didn't already know there was no use in feeling sorry.
Especially since Papyrus had noticed and was now trying to figure out how to get the mouse to eat his spaghetti. Non-frozen this time.
Papyrus had already cooked the spaghetti, but given how cold Snowdin was at the best of times, the previously hot plate was rapidly turning into an ice block. And the microwave wasn't working.
Sans was just a bit too lazy to point out that it wasn't plugged in.
"THE MOUSE WILL SURELY LOVE THIS AS ANOTHER PASTA LOVER," Papyrus said, poking and prodding at the microwave as if that would jolt it into life.
Sans discreetly poked the spaghetti, unsurprised to find that it was practically frozen to the plate. How…unappastatizing.
"cold pasta's unappastatizing," Sans said, glancing sidelong at Papyrus.
Papyrus shot Sans a look, though he seemed amused despite his annoyed tone. "SANS, NO."
"c'mon, papyrus… this is impastable." Especially since even if Papyrus got the microwave to work, the pasta would just be frozen again by the time the mouse came out. And even then the mouse wouldn't eat it because of the risk of food poisoning.
Papyrus was the coolest brother ever, but his cooking had a long way to go before it was edible. Sans had already had to escape several near calls in the kitchen when he became a little too vigorous in his cooking attempts, and he hated running around.
"NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE, BROTHER," Papyrus proclaimed, his red scarf billowing dramatically. "YOU SIMPLY NEED A LITTLE DETEMMIENATION." Papyrus didn't even seem to care at having mentioned one of the Underworld's most annoying monsters. "NYEH HEH HEH HEH HEH."
Sans swore he heard an offended squeak from inside the mouse hole. He sympathized, even though it was truly a masterful pun.
Having gotten the upper hand with that last pun, Papyrus returned his attention to the microwave, reaching over to grab the spaghetti to put it inside the appliance. But the moment he yanked the plate up, the whole thing shattered into pieces, the frozen lump of pasta falling in a solid thwack against the table.
"oh no," Sans said drolly, closing one eye in a wink. "it's been—"
"SANS!"
"frozen," Sans finished, keeping his face still.
Papyrus stilled, looking up at Sans through narrowed eyes. "WAS THAT EVEN A PUN?"
Sans' perpetual grin widened a tad. "snow one knows."
"SANS!"
"you're smiling."
"IT'S A PITY SMILE," Papyrus said unconvincingly, giving the mass of frozen spaghetti a mournful look.
Sans shook off the sense of déjà vu, closing his eyes. "it's snow cold here," he said eventually. "no decent mouse wants spaghetti without a nice plate."
Papyrus seemed like he was going to agree, only to freeze upon noticing the double pun. Giving Sans a glare that lost all effectiveness due to his barely hidden amusement, Papyrus carefully gathered all the pieces of the broken plate, leaving the spaghetti to sit there to wait for their return.
"WORRY NOT, MOUSE," Papyrus told the hole. "I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, WILL SOON BE BACK TO GIVE YOU MY DELICIOUS SPAGHETTI."
Papyrus rushed off, presumably to get another plate.
Sans didn't bother moving, though he did eye the microwave and wonder if he should tell Papyrus that de-icing the spaghetti would go a lot better if it was plugged in…
But upon considering the health of the mouse, he decided it wasn't worth the risk. He'd try and sneak the spaghetti away at a later date.
And leave a piece of cheese behind.
I've got another Undertale prompt lined up, but I also accept commissions if anyone's interested.
Please feel free to drop a note! :D