Of Tea and ShadowInsects: Agitha's First Adventure
Don't ask me why, but Telma to my mind always sounds JUST like Queen Latifah. That little factoid probably explains a lot about this story.
I own nothing in this story, not even Ringo, except for the dialogue. Thank you for reading!
Princess Agitha was the friend to all bugs. Which meant that when she found the large glowing beetle in Hyrule Field, of course she had to make friends with it.
It had been a few weeks since the Twilight had descended on Hyrule Castle Town. Agitha herself kept track of time with the large circular clock in her room, and her clock told her it was time to go out shopping.
First she bought basic groceries, her favorite fruits and soft bread. Then she bought flowers to put in her basket. Now there was only one item left on the list: tea. Unknown to most patrons of Hyrule Castle Town, Telma, famed for her well-stocked inn and her saucy tongue, had a love for teas of all colors, flavors, and kinds, and was willing to share with a chosen few. As Agitha made a monthly gift of a jar of honey to the tavern matron, Telma liked to say that Agitha knew to ask sweetly.
When Telma had given Agitha her monthly supply of mint tea (and complimented her on her new parasol), Agitha had traipsed out of the bar merrily.
She paused, and decided to take a leisurely walk in the flowerbed outside of the Hyrule Field East gate. There were some caterpillars that she was keeping an eye on.
Out in the field – it was still Twilight. It was still strange and unnatural. But, Twilight or not, life went on. Particularly the life of bugs.
She was just passing a familiar boulder when a light scratching sound stopped her in her tracks. She paused and listened. It was coming from the boulder!
When she ran around it, away flew a beetle. It was the biggest beetle she'd ever seen. He glowed with a vivid light from within, and when he flashed his wings they glinted like summer lightning.
"Oh –" Agitha clapped her hands. "I'll call you Ringo."
Ringo had never before met someone who carried a butterly-net. He was soon to learn that Agitha was past expert in utilizing that tricky tool.
Ringo was rather a wild child. Evidently he was used to the wild, rough plains. Or perhaps the merciless, craggy mountains. Or maybe, just maybe, the mean and cold city streets. He certainly was not used to the cushioned, carpeted, and cosetted realm of Agitha's Palace. He did not seem at all happy in his new home, and kept scuttling away to the darkest of corners to brood.
Agitha let him, and was sure to set out plenty of grass and leaves for him to munch on, if he so chose. Agitha retired upstairs to record this frapjous day in her diary.
Clearly, Ringo was a real authentic Byronic beetle, one who wasn't happy unless he was out on the bleak moors. Unfortunately, Agitha would have none of that. Oh, Ringo was stubborn. But so was Agitha.
If morning walkies wasn't going to work today, then Ringo would not be able to resist exploring the tree playhouse. If Ringo destroyed the playhouse, surely tea would calm him down. If that didn't do the trick, then Agitha would calmly finish her tea while he ran amok. Once she had gotten him back from wherever he'd gambol off to (such as the roof), it was storytime! By bedtime Ringo was usually too exhausted to resist Agitha tucking him in all cozy-like. And if he did tear up the blanket and eat his bonnet and desecrate his pillow in unspeakable ways, then surely that would put him in a good enough mood for walkies in the morning!
One week later…
Agitha returned to Telma's Bar for a little company, and because Ringo had been rather irascible all day. He kept flying into Agitha's face, which had given her a black eye. He had torn up one of her best dresses with his long claws (fortunately she was able to sew together some mittens so he couldn't claw quite so enthusiastically). He'd scratched her arms and face and she was forced to leave the house with her hair less-than-perfectly arranged.
Oh well. Such are the hazards of love.
When she descended the staircase, she reflected happily that this was where she had first met Ringo. Smiling, she entered. Telma turned to hail her and then gave a gasp of surprise. Everyone looked at Agitha and fell silent. She made her way demurely to the bar, sat down, and asked brightly, "Did I come at a bad time?"
She reached into her wallet but Telma reached out a hand towards her. "No, no, honey, sit down. We're just a bit surprised to see you… let me get you a drink. What would you like?"
Agitha sat down, rather confused. "I'd like some tea, please. Rose orange with cream and honey."
"Of course, sweetie. On the house." Telma gave a look at the fellows who always congregated at the back of the bar. Two of them – the burly older man and the skinny, dour-faced young woman – got up as one and walked to the bar, taking their drinks with them.
The man took a seat on Agitha's left hand side. The girl sat on her left.
Agitha smiled. "Hello."
The girl nodded in return.
Once she had given Agitha her tea, Telma leaned her elbows and bosom on the bar and said "Okay, Agitha. You know you can tell me anything, right, sugar?"
"Of course, Miss Telma." Agitha smiled.
"Can you tell me, then, what happened to your face?"
"Oh, it's nothing."
"You can tell me. I promise."
"Well – Ringo was just being testy, that's all."
Telma lifted one eyebrow. "Who's Ringo?"
"My new friend." Agitha tried to smile, but remembered the cut on her face. "Ow."
"You'll want some salve for that cut, yeah?"
"No, it's fine."
Telma nodded to the girl. "Get the salve, Ashei."
As Ashei slid off the bench to her pack, Telma turned back to Agitha. "I repeat: who is this Ringo?"
"I just said he's my new friend."
"He hurt you? Doesn't seem friendly to me."
"Oh, he just flew at me, but it's not so bad."
"He flew at you," the bearded man repeated.
"Oh yes. He does that all the time, but he's not that strong. He just gets mad easily."
"Does he often hurt you?" the man pressed on.
"Yes, but I get better soon. The big bruise on my back is almost healed." Agitha took a sip of tea. Very good tea, too.
"What? How did he bruise your back?"
"He just happened to fling me against the wall."
"He what?" Telma straightened up.
"He didn't mean to."
"There's no need to make excuses," Telma said fiercely. "Now where does he live, this Ringo?"
"He lives with me."
Ashei, who had returned with the salve, blurted, "What are you, crazy?"
"Oh, no, I insisted on it!"
"Well, I'll be insisting on you holding still so I can put this stuff on, yeah?" Ashei took off one of her heavy gloves and dropped it with a clink on the table. With surprising gentleness, she dipped her fingers into the salve and applied it gently to Agitha's cut cheek.
Agitha, rather surprised, said, "Oh, thank you. Very much."
"'S nothing."
"How long have you known this Ringo?" Telma leaned forward, her earrings clinking.
"About a week."
"What?"
"Well, he just seemed so lonely, carousing and making a ruckus, so I brought him home and he's stayed with me."
"Where did you meet him?" Auru asked.
"In Hyrule Field." Agitha nodded towards the door.
Ashei scowled. "What, he's such a parasite he ain't got a place of his own?" and at the same time Telma said "Baby, you know the kind of weird folk you find hanging around in the fields these days."
Agitha paused, then carefully said to Ashei, "He's certainly not a parasite. He's a very independent fellow."
"With these sorts of injuries…" Ashei snarled. "I'd use a meaner word than independent."
"You don't have to tolerate this." Telma put one hand on Agitha's gloved one. "I have seen so many women in this same state. You can stand up and just say it – say hell no, you're better than he is. You hear me? If he don't budge you come straight to us…"
"And we sort him out, yeah?"
"Um…" Agitha took another drink of tea to stall for time.
"That's right," Telma said, while Auru nodded. "I mean it, just say hell no. Any man who'd beat you up, he ain't worth your spit."
"But Ringo's not a man," Agitha said, confused.
There was a long pause, then all of Agitha's would-be benefactors went "What?" in unison, so that even the young man with the book in the back looked up and asked "Wait, what's happening?"
"Thank you all for your concern, but Ringo is a very special beetle I've adopted. He's a bit rough, but I can handle him. I am, after all, the princess of bugs." She nodded with her typical noblesse oblige. Glad that all was sorted out, she set down her empty saucer and said "Could I have more tea, please?"
There was a stunned silence.
The man with the books had approached the bar by now and asked, "Excuse me, what sort of beetle?"
"Very big." Agitha showed them with her hands. "Unlike anything I've seen before. Fierce in a handsome kind of way. Or maybe he's handsome in a fierce kind of way…"
"Question," Auru stroked his mustache. "Is this the kind of beetle that glows?"
"No," Agitha shook her head. "It's not a golden bug. Those are the loveliest and the kindest and gentlest and…"
"Does he give off any sort of light?" Auru pressed on. "Like little lightning flashes?"
"Oh yes," Agitha nodded, "he does that."
"And he attacks you, yeah?" Ashei asked.
"Well, I know he doesn't mean it, but…"
"Um… Agitha, sweetie, I have a suggestion. How about you spend the night here? I've got a little guest room over the kitchen, nice and cozy, just for a little slumber party."
"But Ringo will be waiting for me…"
"Honey," Telma put a hand on Agitha's hand, "even if he is a beetle, that don't give him the right to smack around a tender, sweet young thing like yourself."
"All we're saying," Auru said kindly, "Is that we think perhaps he may be a bit much for you to handle."
"But I'm the princess of bugs!" Agitha protested. "They're all my friends!"
"But look at the way he's hurting you. We're not going to let this go on."
"Listen – Agitha, is it?" the bespectacled man spoke up. "Would you let a human friend treat you this way?"
Agitha looked at him. "I don't have human friends."
He opened his mouth to answer, but fell silent.
Ashei prompted, "But if you did…?"
Agitha slowly answered, "If I did, I wouldn't let them treat me like this."
"Then…"
"But Telma, I'm Ringo's only friend! Without me he'll be –"
"Honey, he sounds quite self-sufficient. I'm sure he can do without you for one night. And I tell you what, bright n' early in the morning we'll all go to your place and you can introduce us all to him. Then we'll all be his friends. Doesn't that sound nice?"
Agitha brightened up at once. "Yes! Yes it does! Let's do just that!"
"Look at that smile." Telma leaned her head to the side, her earrings glinting. "Sounds like a plan to me. Is your house all locked up?"
"Yes, it is."
"Then you come upstairs – I'll show you your room and give you a nice shift, and a hot water bottle. Come along."
As she led Agitha upstairs, she turned and mouthed to the gang, "We'll plan," before disappearing up the stairs.
"That's what the reports have been – giant beetles that flash lightning, that attack anyone who comes near." Shad nodded.
"And this girl keeps one as a pet? What is she, mad?"
"No, Auru, she's just… Agitha. She's like that."
Shad suppressed a laugh. "I wonder if she's fitted a bonnet on him by now…"
Ashei cut in. "But she must have parents, people to tell her no, yeah?"
"Her parents… it's a very long story."
"Clearly she has no supervision at home."
"Well, Shad, we're going to change that." Auru stroked his mustache and was tracing the dim outline of a strategic map on the table with his finger. "Tomorrow we arm up, surround the house, and charge in on the beetle."
"Now, now! We're not going to break into a little girl's house and steal her best friend out from under her."
"But we en't gonna let her keep that friend, yeah? I remember the way my dad used to take care if I had a scrape or a cut, mm-hm. He'd tell me a story to make me laugh as hard as I could, so I wouldn't feel the stinging, yeah? We distract her."
Shad looked at Ashei with a curious face, as if trying very hard to imagine her laughing. She caught his eye. "What?"
He straightened up. "A distraction. That sounds good. Well, someone will just have to take her out. There's lots of – proper diversions for a little girl in Hyrule Castle Town, right? Take her for a leisurely walk, or visit the choir in the High Street Temple…"
"This'll take much longer than a walk," Auru shook his head. "What about that man in the tent set up outside the West Gate? He's a handsome fellow."
"Agitha don't go for his type, I reckon," Telma gave a little smile. "Don't you worry. I'm not so good with a crowbar as y'all, but I can show a girl a good time. I'll take her out, and I'll keep her somewhere close by, too."
"Where?" Auru asked.
"Let's say, with a lady that we can all trust…"
"It's been such a long time since my palace has had any visitors, but I hope it'll do. And I'm so glad you all want to meet Ringo."
"We wouldn't miss it for the world, sweetheart," Telma said as she walked by Agitha at the head of the procession. Behind them, Auru carried rope and a heavy club, Ashei had a selection of knives and brass knuckles, and Shad carried three books (very thick books) and a lantern. And a net for catching butterflies, for which Ashei had been giving him no end of grief.
"And how's a little thing like that supposed to come in useful?" She teased.
"You'd be surprised!" he answered stubbornly.
Agitha hurried a bit ahead of Telma on the cobblestone street and put the key in the door of her house. She opened the door. "Ringo? I'm home."
The door was nearly thrown open as Ringo slammed it from the inside. Auru ran up the little steps.
"Please, allow me." Auru took the doorknob from her with a smile, then flung the door open. This sent Ringo back into the house as Auru bowed. "Ladies first."
"Why, Auru, I didn't know you were so refined," Telma said with a grin as she passed him by. Ashei followed that up with a "hmph."
The door was closed behind them. Ringo scuttled and scurried, his wings and his dander up. He sensed trouble.
"Well, Ringo," Agitha said with her usual smile, "There's no reason to be scared. See, this is my friend Telma, and her friends Auru, Ashei, and Shad."
"Charmed, I'm sure," Telma nodded.
"Agitha's… told us so much about you?" Shad attempted.
"And everyone, this is Ringo." Agitha smiled more widely than ever. This was going great! "Why don't we all sit down and have tea? Ringo loves tea."
The two adventurers, one bookworm, and one barkeeper sat down fairly awkwardly at the table. Auru offered to help Agitha as she strapped Ringo into his high chair. She thanked him graciously for his help, then excused herself to water her upstairs bonsai.
The hot water whistled in the little kitchen. "I'll get it!" Agitha rushed down the stairs and to the kitchen to fix the tea. She smiled blithely at the porcelain teapot with pink roses, which miraculously, Ringo had not ruined. It was fun to have houseguests!
Meanwhile, at the table, Ringo had fallen still. He was glaring at the visitors amid the lace doilies and robins-egg-blue china. They glared right back.
"You want trouble, bubs, you found it," he seemed to say.
"My! But that was a fine spread of tea, Miss Agitha."
"Thank you, Telma."
"Very fancy." Ashei finished her tea, content that she had given a good compliment.
"Exactly what I needed to put a start on my day," Auru nodded.
Shad didn't say anything. He was too busy staring in disgust and some horror at Ringo.
"You know," Telma said, "It's a beautiful day for a walk. And I haven't visited my sister Fanadi in ages."
"Madame Fanadi is your sister?" Agitha asked. Auru and Shad looked askance at the innkeeper, too.
"In a manner of speaking. You might call her my soul sister. In any event, it's been far too long since the last time I saw her. Dearie, why don't you take a little walk with me to visit her? Just next door. And we'll leave our friends here to get to know Ringo a bit better." Telma raised her eyebrows and smiled. It was an act that had been known to render various high-ranking military officials weak in the knees.
Agitha donned once more her walking coat and her parasol. As she and Telma left her little bug palace, arm in arm, she turned around and said, "Good-bye, Ringo! I won't be gone long! Play nice with your new friends!"
Telma knocked twice on the elaborately carved door. "Anybody home?"
"Enter," came a mystical voice from within.
Madame Fanadi herself did not look exactly mystical, although her multitudinous scarves and bangles aided the effect somewhat, as did her habit of elongating her vowels. A strong smell of incense permeated the air. She was seated on the floor, practicing on her dulcimer. "Welcome to my abode! Why, Telma, it has been too long." She got up and extended her hand to them gracefully. "And this is my little neighbor – Agitha, yes?"
"Yes, ma'am," Agitha nodded. Fanadi had small dots tattooed around her eyes, just like Telma. And like Agitha herself. She also had a stylized red eye on her forehead.
"Ah, a courteous child. Such manners will get you far, young one."
"I always say, catch more flies with honey than with vinegar." Telma closed the door behind them, just as a loud crash rent the air of the street outside.
"Nayru's love, what was that?" Fanadi asked.
"Nothing important. We'd like to have our fortunes told, Ani, if you don't mind."
"Ani" gave Telma a glare. "I would be happy to read your futures for you, as long as you abide by the right etiquette. And pay the requisite fee."
"Be happy to do so, Madame Fanadi. We've got plenty of time to kill." Telma raised an eyebrow.
Fanadi nodded in understanding. "Yes! Come inside. Have a seat. The spiritual vibrations must be in place – securely in place – before we can begin. Would you care for something to drink?"
"No, but thank you kindly," Agitha folded her parasol and sat in the first available chair.
"So how're those spiritual vibrations working out for you in this Twilight that's everywhere?" Telma asked with a dark edge to her voice. She also slipped a handful of Rupees to her old friend.
Fanadi gave a huff of disapproval. "I tell you they do me no favors. Except in terms of clientele. Since the monsters started appearing I've had guests pouring in, asking when it will lift."
"And what do you say?"
"What can I say? I peer into the depths of the spirit realm, and it shows what it will!"
"Fanadi, please. You must have more business sense than that."
"Excuse me?"
"You don't want to tell people the truth. You tell them what they want to hear."
"Telma! That is dishonest!"
"That's how I get my work done."
Fanadi straightened out the bangles on her left wrist rather more loudly than was necessary. "As I recall, you are quite proficient in telling people what they do not want to hear."
"See, I know how to tell them what they need to hear. And I'm usually right."
"Hmph."
"Don't hmph me. Wasn't I right about Monsieur Jovani? And you know I was right about—"
"You're spoiling my air of mystery." Fanadi spoke in the tone of one deeply offended.
"Oh. Sorry, darlin', won't happen again."
"My dear young lady," Fanadi turned to Agitha and smiled, taking the girl's hand in both of her own, "What sort of fortune would you like me to read for you?"
"Um… let me think about that, please?"
"Of course. Take all the time you need. I personally find that time seems to stand still in this little chamber…"
Agitha looked around the little chamber, then asked, "What kind of fortunes do you tell?"
"Oh, anything you want, for the proper fee," Madame Fanadi got a dreamy look in her eyes as she spoke, "but for first-time visitors, my specialties tend towards predicting one's career path, or, naturally," one small, beringed hand went to her copious bosom, "matters of the heart."
"Why do you have an eye painted on your forehead?"
Fanadi smiled. "It is the ancient mark of my people." She gave a distinct glare in Telma's direction. Telma held out her hands, going, "I didn't say nothing."
"Do you have to cover it up when you go outside?"
"You're inquisitive. I like that. Yes, I do have to wear a low hat when I am outdoors, most of the times. For some still see this symbol as a declaration of… well, a sign that I am a troublemaker. But here, in my refuge from the harsh realities of day to day life, I can bare my forehead, and let the eye stand as itself – a symbol of truth."
Agitha nodded. "I think I would like to hear about my career. I'm the Princess of Bugs, you know."
"Oh? Really?"
"Yes, really."
"Fanadi," Telma put in, "before you get started, I have a simple question for you."
"Yes?"
"People have been asking you when the Twilight will be lifting. What do you tell them, exactly?"
"I tell them not yet, but soon."
"Vague."
"You don't need to remind me. So, little princess, you wish to know of your vocation?"
"Yes, please."
"Very well." Fanadi dramatically pulled a deep violet cloth off of a crystal ball which glowed from within. Agitha ooohed appreciatively. "Now," she settled herself behind the ball, and set her hands beside it. "Phrase your question exactly."
"I want to know about my future as the Princess of Bugs," Agitha replied.
Fanadi nodded. "Nooow," she said, lengthening her vowels even more dramatically than before, "we shall seeeee… what the fuuuuuture hoolds…"
She lowered her head so that the eye on her forehead appeared to be staring at me. She lifted her hands to hover above the ball's glowing glass. She intoned deeply, "Krow, gniht dlo uoy, no emoc… Krow, gniht dlo uoy, no emoc…"
Behind Agitha, Telma suppressed a snicker.
"BEHOLD!" Fanadi exclaimed, striking back in a pose of great revelation.
Agitha nodded. "Yes?"
"Look into the crystal, my child… and you shall see the truuuuth…"
The young girl peered into the depths, and gasped. Light twinkled all around the inside, as though from a thousand shining gold coins. Bits of light flew and crawled, oozed and hopped. The sounds of wings fluttering and pincers clicking could be softly heard.
In the center, the dots of light parted. A short young man could be seen, wearing a green tunic and a green hat. He turned to the camera, showing his ash blond hair and sharp, sky-blue eyes to Agitha. He gave a smile, and held a boomerang in his hands.
Agitha sat back, clapping her hands with delight. "That was beautiful!"
"Indeed!" Fanadi agreed, very pleased. "It looks like you shall come into a great inheritance of gold, and meet a tall, dark, and handsome stranger – well," she paused, "He'll be handsome."
"Sounds real nice," Telma agreed.
"But that's not it at all, Madame!" Agitha smiled at her. (Telma thought to herself, 'That smile could light up the entire Twilight by itself.')
"Oh?"
"The little lights were Golden Bugs. They're the rarest and most beautiful and precious sorts of bugs. They were all dancing around me. I'm going to hold a great ball for all of them!"
"… Oh. And the handsome stranger?"
"He'll be my summoner! Didn't you see what he held? That feathery boomerang will gather the bugs to him, ever-so-gently, and he'll fetch the bugs to the ball."
Fanadi looked uncertain. "You're sure that handsome stranger will just be…"
"Oh, this is the happiest day ever!"
"Well… if you insist," Fanadi shrugged at Telma. "Who am I to deny the utterances of the spirits?"
Agitha got up from the little pouf. "I must go home and start drawing up a list of all the things I'll need for the ball!"
"No-o-o, sweetie, I don't think we should go just yet," Telma laid a restraining arm on Agitha's hand. "How about we just stay a little longer? After all, I haven't had my fortune told yet."
"Oh, right."
Telma sat on the pouf. Fanadi asked, with only a touch of dryness to her voice, "Do you wish for the door to the future to ooopen?"
"Tell it, sister!" Telma laid one elbow on the tiny table, and set her other arm akimbo, cocking one eyebrow like it was a weapon.
"Would you care to hear about love or –"
"Career, honey. I like to keep romance a surprise, you know."
"Unless you're playing matchmaker," Fanadi grumbled.
"On the contrary, especially if I'm playing matchmaker."
"A surprise for your victims, maybe… Very well…" she bent over the crystal ball again. "Uoy rof erots ni s'tahw, erots ni s'tahw…"
Telma peered into the depths of the crystal sphere. Her eyebrows contracted in an expression of concentration. Agitha sat by and watched idly.
There was a clamor at the door and it was flung open. A tall, lanky man with a loudly ticking watch at his wrist was standing there. "Madame Fanadi? Can I get a reading?" He glanced contemptuously outside, as if the very air had offended him. "And can I come in? There's a real ruckus next door…"
"Yes, come in, you are disturbing the harmonies of the cosmos when you leave the door open." Madame Fanadi said, as close to affronted as she ever got in front of paying customers. "As you see, I am in the middle of a reading."
"Okay. Fine. I'll be quiet as a mouse." He leaned against the curtains covering the wall. Agitha wondered why he had chosen his strange, garish clothes – rather grasshopper like – and why his clothes, especially his pants, left so little to the imagination. His eye caught Agitha, standing there demurely. "You look rich," he said in an undertone. Then he sidled up to her with an oily smile. "Hey there, little missy." He flashed unnaturally white teeth. "Would you like to be a STAR?" He put a frightening amount of enthusiasm into the last word.
"No, thank you," she answered.
He was a little taken aback. "Are you quite sure? It's the hottest sensation. About to be set up just outside the East Gate!"
"I'm quite sure. Thank you. What do you want a reading on?"
"My career," he answered without thinking. Then he struggled to collect himself again. "Not that I am at all worried about business. It'll be the latest sensation in town in a matter of days, once it opens."
"I'm sure it will be."
"You'll see. Already it's the talk of the town. Soon all your friends will be standing in line. You don't want to be left behind, do you?"
"All my friends are bugs," Agitha told him, just as Fanadi asked, "What part of cosmic vibrations being out of tune do you not understand?"
"It's okay, Fanadi. It's okay. I've seen what I needed to see." Telma leaned back in her chair. "Now, Fanadi, that gentleman I saw – did he resemble the one in – ?"
"It is not for me to divulge the details of another client's reading," Fanadi drew herself up imperiously, which was quite a sight. "It is highly confidential."
"Oh, honey, I know all about confidential. You forget, Fanadi, I'm a barkeeper. Speaking of which, I don't see you nearly often enough in my establishment."
Fanadi looked thunderstruck. "In front of the customers," she hissed.
"Which is why I was addressing this fine young man right here," Telma turned around, not missing a beat. "Young sir, you're a newcomer, aren't you?"
Behind her, Fanadi composed herself, counting out the Rupees into a little silver box .
The young man in green checked his loudly-ticking watch. "Yes, I'm a newcomer."
"I figured. Sooner or later everyone comes through my bar. It's right across the Bazaar road that-a-way. You oughta come by sometime, sugar. Get to know the townsfolk."
"I really don't think that's necessary," the young man said, eyeing Telma's gold hoop earrings and her low-cut bodice with some distaste.
"Come, now. What's your name?" Telma stood up.
"Purlo."
"Purlo. Fine name. Got a nice foreign tang. Where you from?"
"I'm sorry, I didn't come here to chat, I came for a reading." Then, again, he flashed that unnerving smile. "If you can't get enough of my charms, you'll just have to drop by the East Gate and take your chances at being a STAR!"
"I can resist your charms just fine, honeybunch," Telma said, just loudly enough for Agitha to hear. Agitha giggled.
"All right," Purlo planted himself on the sea-green pouf, which clashed horribly with his maroon leggings. "I want to know about my career, and if you show me another map so help me I will –"
"I know, I know," Fanadi nodded. "The door to the future will ooooopen – for fifteen Rupees."
"What?" Purlo exploded. "Fifteen? It was only ten the last time I came in here!"
"Really? I seem to remember quite distinctly that it was fifteen." Fanadi looked bemusedly at Telma. "Isn't that right?"
"Fee's always been fifteen Rupees," Telma said, all innocence. "Only practical price in this economy."
"What – you think I have fifteen Rupees to spare at all times?" Purlo spat.
"Apparently, yes." Fanadi arched her eyebrow, giving her a momentary resemblance to Telma. After a pause, she sweetly said, "I will be happy to wait for you if you need to run home and procure more funds."
Grumbling, Purlo stood up and stalked out the door. When he was gone Fanadi shook her head. "What is the world coming to?"
"You should know better than all of us," Telma teased. "Din above, what a stuck-up fellow. And I hate to tell him, but I have yet to met a man who can really pull off the color green."
"I am of the belief that it is physically impossible," Fanadi took a silk cloth and dusted off the impeccable surface of her crystal ball. "It's against the will of the Goddesses."
"No, honey, that's the color orange."
"I also get a sense of doom – the spirits insinuate that he will not appreciate an audience for his reading."
"Likely not. What's that?" Telma turned around. A knock sounded at the door. When Fanadi called "Enter," Shad poked his head in. He was instantly recognizable by his spectacles.
"We just, um, got to wondering where exactly you are, Ladies, so I was sent to, um, drop by."
"Well, you're a sweetheart for that, Shad," Telma smiled at him, arms akimbo, "But – I don't think Agitha and I are quite ready to leave just yet."
"Um," Shad readjusted his spectacles, "I guess that you could tarry here a little longer – it wouldn't hurt –"
"Why don't you get your fortune told?" Agitha exclaimed.
"What?"
"Now that is a good idea! C'mere, Shad." Telma took him by the shoulder and steered him in. "Agitha, sweetie, close the door, please."
Agitha gladly complied. She giggled to see Shad so manhandled.
He blushed as he was pushed onto the pouf. "Ladies, I really don't see why this is necessary…"
"C'mon, Shad, have a sense of fun. Besides," Telma leaned in and said significantly, "We have time to spare, don't we?"
"Oh – oh, yes, yes, I suppose we do."
"Now, young gentleman," Madame Fanadi purred – it seemed she took a shining to Shad – "would you like the door of career, or the door of love, to open tonight?"
"Hmm." Shad pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose. "I…"
"You're always going on about those runes of yours, why not see if they'll come to any fruition?"
Shad made a noise of disapproval. "I believe in hard work, not luck or chance," he said.
"But this is a matter of dessstiny!" Fanadi insisted.
"All the same, no thank you. I have no interest in a blue-castle vision of my career."
"Sounds to me like someone wants his love fortune told." Telma nodded to Fanadi, smiling with too much mischief for a single face to hold.
"What?" Shad turned around in his chair. "What are you talking –"
"Sshh," Fanadi whispered. Shad fell silent, and looked forward with the expression of one of the condemned. Fanadi murmured gently, waving her hands just as before, "Won gnihgual s'ohw ees s'tel stnap ytrams, yako…"
"She's got a gift for languages," Agitha whispered to Telma, who only nodded.
"BEHOLD!" At her dramatic gesticulation, she flung her head back and widened her eyes even more than before. Shad actually gave a little jump.
"Naryu's eyelashes! Give a body some warning."
Fanadi just raised an eyebrow and pointed at the crystal ball. With a sigh, Shad peered within.
Agitha leaned forward to keep a better look on his face. It was priceless. What began as skepticism quickly melted into curiosity. Then his brows contracted in some confusion, and he opened his mouth as if to ask a question – and the next minute his jaw dropped, and stayed dropped for quite some time.
"C'mon, what's goin' on in there?" Telma leaned over to try to see. Shad made a noise like a distressed kitten in a box and tried to bat her away. Now Shad shut his eyes and shook his head. "No! No, that's enough."
"I take it you recognize what you saw –"
"I saw nothing!"
" – And that you know what you must doooo." Fanadi was smiling.
"I've had quite enough. Telma, can we go home now?" he asked, almost in a childish whine. He cleared his throat. "Ahem. Can we go back to Miss Agitha's house now?"
"Why, of course, sugar. I think we'd best be getting along. Fanadi, thanks for all of your hospitality. Say thank-you, kids."
"Thank you," Shad nodded stiffly.
Agitha curtsied and smiled. "Thank you! Your reading made me so happy. Thank you!"
Fanadi smiled too. "It was a pleasure and an honor to serve you. I hope I see you in my palace again… sooooon."
"Of course, and don't be a stranger to my establishment either. You and I have some catchin' up to do, sister!" Telma waved good-bye. "You take care, now."
"And yourself."
Once the door was shut behind them, and the city street air replaced the heavy incense, Telma shook her head. "Always a fun time when Fanadi and I get together," she chuckled. "Come along, now, kiddoes. I think I see Mr. Star-Spangled coming down the street now, and he looks like he's in a foul temper."
Agitha peeked over the edge of her parasol to see that, yes, Purlo was stalking down the street towards them, gripping an elaborately embroidered – and bulging – wallet tightly.
"He's a sourpuss," she calmly stated.
"That he is. Now let's come along home." Like a mother hen, Telma urged her chickies down the street. When they approached the wide marble steps of Agitha's house, the girl broke away and ran forward.
"Ringo!" she called. "Oh, Ringo! I'm home!"
"Oh dearie me," Shad muttered.
Agitha flung the door open, but no loud and boisterous beetle attacked her on sight. Instead, only Ashei and Auru stood inside. Their faces were grave and, though she didn't notice it, their clothing was sullied and torn in spots.
"Agitha," Auru said, making an attempt at a genial smile, "Glad you're back. How was Madame Fanadi?"
"Ringo?" Agitha called. There was no buzz, no lightning flashes anywhere in the house.
"Did you get your fortune told with that doohickey of hers? I bet you did, yeah?" Ashei stepped towards her cautiously.
"Where's Ringo?" Agitha asked.
Ashei glanced to Auru, who said gravely, "It was an accident."
"What?" Agitha looked from one to the other.
"We just thought to open up a window, to let a little air in, yeah?"
"And Ringo just flew out." Auru finished. "It was too sudden. Ashei and I tried to follow him, but he'd gone 'over the hills and far away.' Out of sight."
The two of them had not had an easy time. They had prepared for a giant beetle to attack them with a vengeance (which he did), they had expected to drag that beetle back to Telma's Bar and lock him securely in a crate (which was no easy task) and then return to Agitha's and make it seem like nothing had been disturbed (which had been helped by Ashei's clever use of a pictograph machine). They had even prepared for Agitha to stomp her foot and scream at them, and in every respect throw a temper tantrum.
They had not expected her to drop her basket and parasol and give a tiny gasp, her eyes wide. "No," she whispered in a tiny, unexpected voice. "No," she shook her head, her blonde pigtails dangling. "Not my little friend. No!"
Before Ashei or Auru could stop her, she had raced up the little ladder in the center of her house to the upstairs. "Ringo? Ringo?" She uncovered every pillow, flipped every curtain. "Ringo?" She poked her head out the upper casement window, but still no Ringo answered her call.
As Auru climbed upstairs to try and retrieve their heartbroken princess, Telma took Ashei aside for a whispered confidence.
"You got it –"
"Got it, secure, locked away. Heavy-duty crate, locked and all."
"Good girl. Inside, or…"
"Outside the door."
"Good."
Telma glanced up. A howl of despair that came from upstairs – then was quickly muffled. It sounded like Agitha had thrown herself onto her bed to sob her heart out.
"Telma?" Auru asked from upstairs. "Maternal intervention needed here, stat."
"I'm comin', I'm comin'," Telma said, heading up the ladder. Sure enough, there was Agitha, the very picture of misery, her face down on her pillow, and sobbing like her heart would break.
"Now, now, sugar," Telma sat down on the bed.
"Go away," Agitha said in the strongest voice Telma had ever heard her use.
Auru and Telma shared a glance. Telma sat down on the bed, and placed her hand gently on Agitha's back. "I'm real sorry, honey."
"Get out! If you hadn't come in here then Ringo wouldn't have flown away!"
"You don't know that for sure, honeybunch. You said so yourself, he's independent. He was always happier out there in the fields, under the big blue sky. You couldn't keep a wild animal like that locked up in a pretty place like this. It wouldn't be right."
Downstairs, Shad and Ashei shared a glance – then Shad looked away at once, blushing.
Agitha's sobs diminished into little sniffles.
"He was crammed in here, and taking it out on you. You were bein' hurt…"
"But he was my friend, and he didn't – he didn't mean it…"
"Wild animals can't mean anything. But they attack and ravage and hurt. And you shouldn't have to justify yourself being hurt. A friend shouldn't hurt you."
Agitha turned over on her side, not facing Telma. Then, muffled, she said, "You're right. And I hate you for being right. But he was – he was the only friend I had."
"That's not true, sweetheart."
Agitha looked up at Telma's kind face. Her deep gold eyes were shining. "We're all your friends – me, Shad, Fanadi – even if you don't know us that well," she glanced at Auru behind her, "we're happy to be your friends if you'll just let us."
"Do you really mean that?"
"Really. And you're going to make more friends, too, soon, I can just feel it."
"Is – is that so? Well… I'm not used to having human friends."
"I know, honey. And I'm dreadful sorry that you had to lose Ringo like this – I wish I could spare you some of the pain – but honey, losing and saying good-bye is part of life. Just part of the bitter and the sweet."
"It wasn't meant to be," Auru offered.
Telma glared at him, but Agitha stopped crying. "No – no, you're right. It wasn't. When Madame Fanadi showed me the picture of my future – Ringo wasn't there at all. It – it really wasn't meant to be."
Agitha spent a proper three days in mourning. She wore all black, and went out with a little veil on her hat.
Then, one morning, she sat up again and put on colorful clothes. She watered her bonsai family and talked to them cheerily, like she had before the advent of Ringo.
Then she sat down and wrote out invitations for her great Golden Jubilee Ball.