melonpan | | [ kurobasu :: oneshot series ] - ( aomine daiki / kagami taiga ) / gayness
#
i. SIX DAYS
|| Aomine's bored and trying to get lucky.
|| He's not very good at it (he's really bad at it).
.
note :: w is equivalent to lol, basically
a/note :: so i made aomine a mega-dweeb and im only mostly sorry about it?
warnings :: text message format, aomine being a mega-dork (correction) a horny mega-dork, kagami is sassy
.
day one
.
Kagami wasn't really sure when it started, but it was definitely Aomine's fault.
After swapping phone numbers under the advice of Kuroko who had grown tired of playing the middle-man whenever one of them wanted to 1v1 the other, they started hanging out rather frequently. Then, about three months into their whatever it is, Aomine decided to start acting weird. It wasn't even noticeable at first, just a few easily ignored and rather confusing signals that Kagami wasn't sure what to do with.
It took exactly three days and few awkward ( confusing [ super gay ] ) conversations for Kagami to finally understand what they meant.
12:10 [ Ahomine ] — Kagami.
12:12 [ Bakagami ] - Aomine?
12:13 [ Ahomine ] — Let's do it.
12.19 [ Bakagami ] - Do it?
12:20 [ Ahomine ] — Let's fuck.
12:20 [ Bakagami ] - Let's not?
12:21 [ Ahomine ] — Okay.
12:22 [ Bakagami ] - Okay.
12:25 [ Ahomine ] — 1v1?
12:25 [ Bakagami ] - 1v1.
12:30 [ Ahomine ] — You were blushing right?
12:31 [ Bakagami ] - Shut. The. Fuck. Up.
12:32 [ Ahomine ] — Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha.
Obviously, he wasn't too sure how to react to his rival propositioning him, but he eventually shrugged it off as an Ahomine thing and went back to thinking about basketball.
Basketball was, after all, the basis of their entire relationship, so what else was a basketball idiot like Kagami supposed to think?
12:33 [ Bakagami ] - I honestly wouldn't be against you being rammed into by a truck.
12:34 [ Ahomine ] — I honestly wouldn't be against you being rammed onto my dick.
12:35 [ Bakagami ] - You need to stop.
12:35 [ Ahomine ] — Stopping.
12:35 [ Ahomine ] — Too fast?
12:35 [ Ahomine ] — Too hard*?
12:36 [ Ahomine ] — Too rough*?
12:37 [ Ahomine ] — Now change 'too' to 'do you want it'
12:38 [ Bakagami ] - Fuck. You.
12:37 [ Ahomine ] — Exactly.
The 1v1 was lovely and Kagami, of course, won.
.
day two
.
13:02 [ Ahomine ] — Kagami.
13:05 [ Bakagami ] - Aomine?
13:06 [ Ahomine ] — Let's hang out.
13:07 [ Bakagami ] - Okay?
13:08 [ Ahomine ] — In your bed.
13:09 [ Bakagami ] - What.
13:10 [ Ahomine ] — Or on your couch.
13:10 [ Ahomine ] — Or on your kitchen table.
13:11 [ Ahomine ] — Or even just on the floor.
13:12 [ Bakagami ] - Okay?
13:12 [ Bakagami ] - 1v1 later?
13:12 [ Ahomine ] — You really are a basketball idiot.
13:14 [ Bakagami ] - I don't want to hear something like that from someone like you, stupid.
13:15 [ Ahomine ] — Subtext idiot.
.
day two ⇉ day three
.
23:10 [ Aho ] — Kagami.
23:20 [ Baka ] - Aomine.
23:21 [ Aho ] — Are you a virgin?
23:21 [ Baka ] - Do you want to die?
23:23 [ Aho ] — www that means you totally are right?
23:24 [ Baka ] - Why are you even asking? It's really late you know.
23:25 [ Aho ] — I was just curious if basketball was the only thing a basketball idiot like you thought about.
23:26 [ Baka ] - Don't call me an idiot.
23:26 [ Baka ] - Anyways, aren't you the same.
23:27 [ Aho ] — Hah I guess so.
23:28 [ Baka ] - Then there you go. GOODNIGHT.
23:29 [ Aho ] — SADNIGHT.
23:30 [ Baka ] - Baka is typing...
23:31 [ Baka ] - Baka is typing...
23:32 [ Baka ] - Baka is typing...
23:33 [ Baka ] - Baka is typing...
23:34 [ Baka ] - Baka is typing...
23:35 [ Baka ] - You suck.
23:36 [ Aho ] — wwwww I could ;).
23:37 [ Baka ] - Go to sleep.
23:38 [ Aho ] — Don't wanna.
23:39 [ Baka ] - Are you five?
23:40 [ Aho ] — No.
23:41 [ Baka ] - And yet you're acting like one.
So of course, just like that, they ended up talking (bickering) well through the night and into the early morning. Carefully, Kagami didn't acknowledge the fact that Aomine was probably the only person who he'd ever let cut into his sleeping hours; not even Tatsuya was allowed to do that.
Of course though, this didn't mean anything since they were just basketball whatevers, there was definitely no significant meaning to anything what-so-ever.
04:58 [ Aho ] — So like can I do you?
04:59 [ Baka ] - What.
04:59 [ Aho ] — Like in the butt.
04:59 [ Baka ] - I am going to sleep now.
05:00 [ Aho ] — YOU DIDN'T SAY NO.
05:05 [ Baka ] - GO TO BED.
05:06 [ Aho ] — WILL YOU LET ME DO YOU IF I DO?
05:08 [ Baka ] - ARE YOU REALLY THAT DESPERATE?
05:09 [ Aho ] — IF I SAY YES WILL YOU LET ME DO YOU?
05:10 [ Baka ] - Probably not, good night.
05:11 [ Aho ] — Tease.
Later when Kagami woke and reread all the texts he only vaguely remembered replying to, he shook it off as Ahomine being a tired Ahomine.
There was no way-
.
08:24 [ Aho ] — Kagami.
08:24 [ Aho ] — Kagami.
08:24 [ Aho ] — Kagami.
08:24 [ Aho ] — Kagami.
08:24 [ Aho ] — Kagami.
08:25 [ Aho ] — Kagami.
08:25 [ Baka ] - Aomine it's eight.
08:26 [ Baka ] - You kept me up until five.
08:27 [ Baka ] - Go away.
08:28 [ Aho ] — I bet you enjoyed it.
08:29 [ Aho ] — You'd enjoy it more if you let me do you in the butt.
08:30 [ Baka ] - Are you drunk?
08:31 [ Aho ] — Horny.
08:32 [ Baka ] - You're a pervert.
08:33 [ Aho ] — Yeah.
Ah, Kagami thought to himself, those signals he'd been receiving really were gay ones weren't they?
Well, Kagami thought to himself, he supposed they did occasionally do things other than basketball.
08:36 [ Baka ] - I like you too idiot.
08:37 [ Aho ] — Took you long enough.
08:38 [ Baka ] - You're really bad at this.
08:39 [ Aho ] — So can I do you now?
08:40 [ Baka ] - No.
08:41 [ Aho ] — Fuck.
It took an additional three days for Kagami to finally cave in.
.
day four
.
06:04 [ Ahomine ] — Kagami
06:04 [ Ahomine ] — Kagami
06:04 [ Ahomine ] — Kagami
06:05 [ Ahomine ] — Kagami
06:05 [ Ahomine ] — Kagami
06:05 [ Ahomine ] — Kagami
06:05 [ Ahomine ] — Kagami
06:05 [ Ahomine ] — Kagami
06:06 [ Ahomine ] — Kagami
06:06 [ Ahomine ] — Kagami
06:07 [ Bakagami ] - Holy shit what the fuck Ahomine?
06:06 [ Ahomine ] — Kagami
06:06 [ Ahomine ] — Kagami
06:08 [ Ahomine ] — Kagami
06:04 [ Ahomine ] — Kagami
06:05 [ Ahomine ] — Kagami
06:06 [ Ahomine ] — Kagami
06:09 [ Ahomine ] — Kagami
06:08 [ Ahomine ] — Kagami
06:07 [ Ahomine ] — Kagami
06:08 [ Ahomine ] — Kagami
06:04 [ Ahomine ] — Kagami
06:10 [ Bakagami ] - Fuck, you just broke my phone.
06:11 [ Ahomine ] — Well you're replying so.
06:12 [ Bakagami ] - Why are you even texting me right now? I was sleeping.
06:13 [ Ahomine ] — Yeah I figured.
06:17 [ Ahomine ] — Kagami Kagami
06:17 [ Ahomine ] — Kagami Kagami Kagami
06:18 [ Ahomine ] — Kagami Kagami Kagami Kagami
06:18 [ Ahomine ] — Kagami Kagami Kagami Kagami
06:18 [ Ahomine ] — Kagami Kagami Kagami Kagami
06:19 [ Ahomine ] — Kagami Kagami Kagami Kagami
06:19 [ Ahomine ] — Kagami Kagami Kagami Kagami
06:19 [ Ahomine ] — Kagami Kagami Kagami Kagami
06:20 [ Ahomine ] — Kagami Kagami Kagami Kagami.
06:20 [ Ahomine ] — Did you fall asleep?
06:20 [ Ahomine ] — I HAVE PRACTICE THIS EARLY AND SATSUKI IS MAKING ME GO, IT'S DUMB. GIVE ME ATTENTION.
06:25 [ Bakagami ] - I am taking a shower, fuck off.
06:26 [ Ahomine ] — Are you really?
06:27 [ Bakagami ] - YES.
06:28 [ Ahomine ] — SEND ME PICTURE PROOF.
06:29 [ Bakagami ] - Bakagami is typing...
06:30 [ Bakagami ] - Bakagami is typing...
06:31 [ Bakagami ] - Bakagami is typing...
06:32 [ Bakagami ] - Wait. That's dumb why the fuck should I do that.
06:33 [ Ahomine ] — wwwwww you almost sent one didn't you?
06:35 [ Bakagami ] - Picture sending...
06:35 [ Bakagami ] - Picture received...
06:36 [ Ahomine ] — That is a toilet.
06:37 [ Bakagami ] - That is where you were born.
06:38 [ Ahomine ] — Clever.
06:38 [ Ahomine ] — Are you texting me in the shower?
06:39 [ Ahomine ] — That's hot.
06:40 [ Bakagami ] - No I finished a few minutes ago.
06:41 [ Ahomine ] — SEND ME PICTURES NEXT TIME.
06:42 [ Bakagami ] - NO.
06:43 [ Ahomine ] — Dammit I have practice now. Bye.
06:44 [ Bakagami ] - See you later.
.
day five
.
10:20 [ Ahomine ] — BUTT.
10:21 [ Bakagami ] - BUSY.
10:22 [ Ahomine ] — SO IF YOU WEREN'T YOU'D LET ME BANG YOU RIGHT?
10:23 [ Bakagami ] - NO.
10:24 [ Ahomine ] — TT TT
.
day six
.
12:10 [ Ahomine ] — Kagami.
12:12 [ Bakagami ] - Aomine?
12:13 [ Ahomine ] — Let's do it
12.19 [ Bakagami ] - Do it?
12:20 [ Ahomine ] — Let's fuck
12:20 [ Bakagami ] - Okay.
12:21 [ Ahomine ] — Okay.
12:22 [ Bakagami ] - Okay.
12:25 [ Ahomine ] — WAIT OKAY?
12:25 [ Bakagami ] - I SAID THAT ALREADY.
12:30 [ Ahomine ] — IM COMIN 2 UR HOUSE RT NOW!1!11
12:31 [ Bakagami ] - DON'T I AM NOT HOME YET. WAIT, NOW?! IT'S THE MIDDLE OF THE DAY!
12:31 [ Ahomine ] — THEN GET THERE SO WE CN DO IT! I DONT CARE ILL DO U ANYTIME OF THE DAY!1
12:32 [ Bakagami ] - I HAVE A FEW MINUTES OF PRACTICE LEFT, I CAN'T!
12:32 [ Ahomine ] — DITCH! I WNT TO DO U!
12:32 [ Bakagami ] - THAT'S NOT A GOOD ENOUGH REASON TO DITCH!
12:32 [ Ahomine ] — YES IT IS!11! IF THERE WAS EVER A GOOD REASON THATD BE THE REASON!1
.
12:45 [ Ahomine ] — I AM AT UR FKIN HOUSE OPEN UR DOOR!
12:46 [ Bakagami ] - I AM ON MY WAY STILL HOW THE FUCK DID YOU BEAT ME THERE?
12:46 [ Ahomine ] — I FUCKING RAN.
12:47 [ Bakagami ] - WHY?
12:37 [ Ahomine ] — BC IM GETTNG KAGAMI BUTT TODAY!
12:48 [ Bakagami ] - STOP BEING SO WEIRD ABOUT IT.
12:38 [ Ahomine ] — KAGAMI. BUTT.
12:49 [ Bakagami ] - FOR FUCKS SAKE.
12:50 [ Ahomine ] — EXACTLY, FOR FUCKS SAKE I AM BREAKING INTO YOUR HOUSE!
12:50 [ Bakagami ] - WAIT DON'T DO THAT!
12:51 [ Ahomine ] — I'LL WAIT FOR YOU!
.
13:02 [ Bakagami ] - I told you not to do it.
13:03 [ Ahomine ] — How the fuck was I supposed to know your neighbors would call the cops.
13:04 [ Ahomine ] — So no Kagami butt today?
13:05 [ Bakagami ] - None.
It took a few extra days to actually get to the deed though.
.
midnight omake
.
00:10 [ Aomine ] - I FINALLY DID KAGAMI IN THE BUTT
00:13 [ Tetsuya ] - ... That wasn't something I needed to know Aomine-kun.
00:13 [ Aomine ] - IT'S THE BEST BUTT EVER.
00:14 [ Tetsuya ] - I'm going to sleep.
00:15 [ Aomine ] - THE. BEST.
.
00:20 [ Kuroko ] - Congratulate Aomine-kun for me.
00:21 [ Kagami ] - For what?
00:22 [ Kuroko ] - For getting to do, "Kagami in the butt" which was, "the best butt ever."
00:22 [ Kagami ] - I'LL FUCKING KILL HIM.
Kuroko nodded in satisfaction. Aomine should've knew better than to wake him with stupid text messages about his sex life.
...
Kagami's butt, huh?
...
00:37 [ Tetsuya ] - Tetsuya is typing...
00:37 [ Tetsuya ] - Tetsuya is typing...
00:38 [ Tetsuya ] - Tetsuya is typing...
00:39 [ Tetsuya ] - Tetsuya is typing...
00:40 [ Tetsuya ] - Was it really that good?
00:41 [ Aomine ] - The fucking best.
.
fin
NEXT UP :: (( GROWING PAINS )) [ PREVIEW ]
"You know," Aomine starts, "you should become my mate."
Kagami chokes.
"My oh-may-guh~" Aomine smirks.
"Fuck off."
A minute later he adds, "and eat your fucking noodles."
Aomine laughs and it's still not attractive.
( i'll stop after this one i promise )