Hey everyone !

This is my first attempt to write fan fiction ever so I hope you'll enjoy it. I've been a big supporter of Barney/Robin since the beginning and I just wanted to put into words what I think is going on in Robin's head during the summer after The Leap (s.4)

English is not my first language so please feel free to correct me.

Robin's states of mind are inspired by on of Björk's old songs called "Violently Happy".

A/N I don't own HIMYM characters or tv show's storyline / I don't own Björk's lyrics or songs. What goes on Robin's head in this story is just my guess :)

Chapter 1.

Since I've met you, This small town

Hasn't got room for my big feelings

We can sort this out later.

That's where they left things two months before.

He had decided to confront her, back in that hospital room after Ted's « accident » with the goat, and she had tried to Mosby him – tried to make him change his mind. His feelings. She still couldn't believe he had feelings for her. Cool, womanizer-for-life Barney. Her best friend Barney.

She still couldn't believe it and yet she had thrown herself into that kiss that had changed everything.

She was so confused back then. When she overheard his conversation with Ted, where he basically asked permission from her ex-boyfriend to make a move on her, she started having mixed feelings about it. About him. She felt both curious and totally freaked out. Curious about how it could be, the challenge – Robin Scherbatsky always liked a challenge – to be the one who makes Barney Stinson get involved in a relationship. She could feel the pride to be the one – the first one – to do that in a long time. But she was scared, too. She was scared they would break each other's hearts and never be friends again. She would hate never to be friends with him again, hate it so much.

They were perfect for each other. He had pointed this out since the beginning, since that night they had gone out bro-ing about in the city, a few months after they'd met. Admittedly he had come on to her a little strong. And even if she had been secretly flattered, she had feelings for Ted back then. But he had counted the ways they could be great together - both scared of commitment, both looking for something casual, both being totally awesome together - and he had a point. She knew it. She knew all this. Yet why was she so afraid to give in ?

Because she knew this time it wouldn't be a one-night stand. She knew it wouldn't be casual anymore. She knew that, in his own way, Barney Stinson was ready to commit. And she wasn't sure she was ready to deal with it.

And the other disturbing thing was that she didn't know what to do with the increasing number of butterflies in her stomach. With the ache that would grab her gut everytime she walked back home at night after hanging out with the gang at McLaren's, thinking someday she could walk back home at night with her boyfriend Barney. Oh my God that just sounded so weird. But yet so obviously right. The way he took his time, never mentionned it, just smiled at her with such affection underneath his slightly sarcastic grin. She was thankful for his giving her time to think, for being so tactful. Nobody in the group seemed to suspect the slow dance they were dancing towards each other that summer.

And so every time she crossed the bridge and looked back at the illuminated skyline of Manhattan, she felt her insides swell with something both painful and wonderful. Because it's not love, but it's still a feeling, she'd sing along that pop song that floated in her ears. And that feeling was growing, unexpected, exciting, flowing all over New York. This city was her new home, and maybe it was time to listen to what it was saying. Life is so, so good, she'd think. So let's not be scared of it.