-January-

My hair twist and turns in the windy air. My eyes water suddenly from the cold flow. I clutch my jacket closer trying so desperately to stay hidden from the January weather. I am failing miserably. I want to run back into the warm castle but I made a promise and I don't know how to break a promise. I let out a deep breath that turns the air in front of me a foggy white. I clouds my vision for a moment and when it clears he is already in front of me. I slight jump from surprise.

He always sneaks up on me. He always finds a way of jolting me out of everyday mind-numbing unaffected life. Normally he would laugh. Poke fun at me for being such a girl. Not today. Today is so unlike any day I have ever lived and I know in my heart things will never be the same. The look on his face says everything.

I pull my jacket closer to protect my heart. I am failing miserably.

I stare at him for a long time. Neither of us speaking. His grey eyes are void of any life they ever had. The circles underneath make him seem dead to the world. Even to me. Still his clothing is perfect. His hair now long like his fathers only adds to his regal appearance. But if you look closely you can see, he is shaking. I reach out slowly to stop his trembling hand, but he only pulls away. I bite my bottom lip unsure of what to say, but what do you say to a condemned soul. Finally he speaks.

"I took it." he says it in a whisper. I shake my head knowingly.

"I know." I reply simply. His eyes widen for a second.

"No." His voice is harsher now. "You have no clue." I remain silent to cold to fight. "Granger?"

"Malfoy?"

"I'm sorry." With that a tear falls from his dead eyes. His voice is horse as he tries to keep it together. "I should have never dragged you into this."

"You didn't. I wa .. was to clever for my own good." I stammer now fighting my own tears. I try to smile but it looks fake so I stop pretending. This is too grown up for pretend. He reaches out a tucks a wildly flying hair behind me ear. I don't pull away.

"I suppose it is both our faults. Acting as if today would never come."

"I wish I could have done something to help you." I say quietly. Tears are now streaming down my face. To cold to fight.

"You did everything you could. I'm just a very bad man." He pulls his hand away in shame. I grab it with my own quickly and entwine our fingers.

"No. Your not." I say severely. "Your not. You just don't have a choice is all."

"Oh come on Granger we all have a choice. Unfortunately I love my mother." His voice is hallow. I take this moment to be brave.

"And me?" A small smirk spreads across his face.

"You know I love you." He leans forward and kisses my forehead. Placing both hands on either sides of my face we meet each others gaze. "But unlike her you don't need me to keep you alive." His voice is a whisper. "You can, and will, take care of yourself no matter what. I have every faith in that." his thumb whips away another tear.

"I wish I was selfish. I wish I wasn't strong." I close my eyes. "I wish you would stay."

"Would it be clique to tell you that," he kisses my forehead again, "you will always have my heart." I shake my head yes. "Well then, you will always have my heart. Even if Dementors suck out my soul."

"I love you to." I cry. "Please, we can find a way."

"I wont put you in more danger. I wont just so we can be together. What life is that Granger? Always running and always afraid. Even if Potter beats the Dark Lord any Death Eater that remains free will see me as a traitor. You deserve more then to be hunted all your life."

"And you can kill people? You can torture innocents?" My voice is louder now.

"Like I said I am a very bad man." He has distanced himself from me again. "Its time for me to go. Its not safe for us to be together anymore."

"Will you write?" I question. "If ever you think its safe, will you write?" He smiles lightly.

"Yes." He is lying. I nod and he turns to walk away. I know I will never receive a piece of mail from him.

And I never do.